In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, The Most Merciful

Asalaamu Alaiakum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatu Dear brothers and sisters in Islam



In the last part to this series: ‘Doorway to Fitnah: Freemixing’ we discussed how a sister falls into the fitna of online relationships with a non-mahram brother. This relationship first began ‘innocent’ as mentioned in the first part to this series. But now the brother and sister are not only talking for hours each day in secrecy without parent’s knowledge, but now they are calling each other and even sharing pictures. Basically they have transformed now into a ‘couple’. This relationship which is nowhere near marriage is of course not acceptable in Islam. This relationship is basically defined as boyfriend/girlfriend even though most Muslims who fall into it do not want to call it by such a name. These relationships come with a stamp of approval by none other than the shaytan. He deludes each side with false ideas of love in order to keep them in this haraam relationship and encourages them to even go further all the way to Zina (adultery/fornication) which is one of the major sins. The brothers and sisters who are caught up in these relationships do not believe for a second they would end up committing such immorality, but as we know the majority of the time they actually do. SubhanAllah.
In this third part, the sister will come across some powerful reminders about Zina. We shall see if these reminders have an impact on her:


Doorway to Fitnah: Freemixing

Part 3: ‘Pathways to Zina'

---Written by Sister UmmLu'lu----



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Oh my Allah you think….you and the brother have been ‘talking’ now for six months! Wow! That seems like forever. But now, it’s not like before. You don’t feel the burning guilt each time you think about him or IM him or call him. Or even when you send your pictures to him (still Hijabed of course!). It’s almost…normal. Sometimes you worry because you think maybe you lost your fear of Allah? Or maybe even your imaan? Because before while talking to him you felt ashamed, and tried anyway to turn away from Allah seeing you, even though you knew that was impossible. As Allah is the All-Seer and All-Knower. Now, it’s like you feel nothing, you feel 1000% comfortable talking with the brother. Your little voice warning you of this and that is becoming very silent lately. What happened? Isn’t that a bad thing? You think wait...isn't it like my internal compass, now is it broken??!

Before you can continue with your thoughts, you hear the very familiar ring tone; it’s him calling again!!! That makes it a shocking three times, in only one day! You forget everything you were just telling yourself…You didn’t loose your imaan, you didn’t loose your fear of Allah, hmm maybe you are just not feeling well. You rush to pick up the phone and start conversing with the brother. You are so happy when you are talking to him, he makes everything fine again. It’s like you forget all of your worrying and bad thoughts, these doubts that come to you whenever you are alone. That’s why you like talking to him as much as possible. He’s almost become like a shield from any reminder. Any painful reminder that is!

Weeks go by and things continue as they are. No change. No action. Not even an intention to change. As far as you are concerned you are not mixing into falsehood. Your goal justifies the means you are using at the moment.

One day your friend asks you to come to a lecture with her. You say sure, you would love to tag along. While in the car you ask the sister what the topic is. She replies: The Pathways to Zina. Oh, wow! What a topic…Oh my God did your heart just stop beating?! Wait, no you are fine. Phew. Ok, relax. Why the sudden panic? Have you committed Zina? Have you even come close to it? No…

Ok then, relax yourself! *Relaxed*. Ok, just attend the lecture and try not to draw attention to yourself ok? Ok!

The sister and you finally make it to the Masjid. Someone is reciting some verses, maybe one of the brothers from MSA. Masha’Allah, it’s so beautiful you think, you wonder what the verses mean.

The Sheikh starts the lecture. First he goes through the definition of Zina. We all know what it means you think. But why are you so nervous? Why do you feel like the sheikh is talking directly to YOU. You are just being paranoid! Just focus on the lecture.

The sheikh continues and mentions a verse.... one that the brother recited at the beginning. The sheikh also recited it and translated for everyone:

And come not near to unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a faahishah (a great sin) and an evil way.

(Sura Al-Israa 17:32)

The sheikh makes a dramatic pause. He continues: “Brothers and sisters, why do you think Allah does not say “Do not commit Zina”. Why does Allah Azza wa Jal say do not come NEAR to Zina?

The sheikh explains by saying Allah Azza wa Jal in His Wisdom did not only prohibit the munkarat (evil, abominable deeds) but also made the pathways to them prohibited as well. The sheikh pauses again.

You feel sweat coming down your forehead. Is it really that hot in here? Why are you burning up?

The sheikh continues as you listen attentively.

“So brothers and sisters. Let us ask ourselves. What are the pathways to Zina? To this most disgusting sin?

The audience is silent.

The sheikh answers his own question. “Brothers and Sisters, wallahi there are many pathways to this sin. Among them is our neglecting Allah’s Command to lower our gaze. Among them is this extreme freemixing we see in our community….”

Again, the sheikh pauses. Why does he keep pausing?? You just might get a heart attack!

“And not to forget our online community as well because Allah Azza wa Jal is not watching us just when we are in the Masjid or at the Islamic Events. But Allah SWT is watching us wherever we are. Whether that is the Universities, whether that is the MSA or whether that is at home, while we browse our computers”.

OMG. No he didn’t just say that…. Your heart stops.

“Brothers and sisters, we mistakenly trivliaze these sins, that are nothing but stepping stones to the greater sin of Zina. The uncontrollable gazing, the constant freemixing online and off. SubhanAllah, you hear brothers and sisters say it isn’t that big of a deal sheikh. That it’s all innocent and fun. What fun? Disobeying our Rabb is fun? Disobeying our Rabb is innocence? Since when ya Shabab?

"You see amongst these same youth how ‘normal’ freemixing has become. SubhanAllah, you wouldn’t be surprised to see a brother or sister who regularly attends the Masjid and Islamic Events at home freemixing for hours each day. SubhanAlllah, is our piety just outside, where people can see? Do we not fear Allah who sees us as we spend these hours mingling with the other gender? Do we not know the shaytan is just laying a trap for us, to ultimately commit shameful actions like the bigger Zina….while we commit the 'smaller zina with our eyes that are seeing haraam, our feet which are walking to haraam. Even our hands which we use to mingle and chat with the opposite sex? Do you not realize the shaytan's even bigger trap, to make us his companion in Jahanam? Brothers and Sisters! Let’s wake up from our desires. These countless hours we spend freemixing online and off only bringing us one step closer to the hellfire. When will we wake up? When death comes, and it is too late to repent or come back to the straight path? SubhanAllah how many countless people were deceived before us, who thought their sins were trivial; that they were not ‘a big deal’? And how many of them now lay in their graves in regret? Do we want to end up with the same fate? No! So then we must leave these sins brothers and sisters, before our time is up. And who is to say when that will be? Today, tomorrow?.."

You are now frozen in your place. You probably haven’t even blinked yet…

The sheikh continues to talk about freemixing and you become lost in your thoughts. You imagine yourself at your computer…talking to the brother. SubhanAllah what if your soul was taken away at that very moment? You would be raised up in that same state. Complete humiliation! Because of your sin….you finally acknowledged it. You are sinning! Oh my God. Sinning!! How did you even get here? What happened? Oh My God, you think, what happened to me? Nearly seven months in….a…relationship with a brother? SubhanAllah!! You feel hot tears coming down. You quickly duck your head down so no one can see.

The sheikh’s words interrupt your guilty thoughts. Now he is relating a story about a pious worshipper. His name was Barsisa and three brothers who went to war, left their sister with him thinking that he was the best person to take care of her....What happened next? You forgot. It was so long ago that you heard the story. You listen closely to the sheikh’s words.

The sheikh relates the whole story. SubhanAllah yes, you remember now! He comimited zina with her!! Astaghfirullah….and it all started with one glance, with one conversation. The whole time the shaytan was tempting him and finally the worshipper commited zina with the girl. OMG that wasn’t the end of it! The girl became pregnant. As the sheikh recounts the story you remember how it ended. The worshipper killed the woman and her baby and ended up asking the shaytan for help. He made SUJOOD to him (KUFR). SubhanAllah! And the shaytan ditched him in the end saying: "I am free of you, I fear Allah, the Lord of the 'Alamin (mankind, jinns and all that exists) just like the verse in Surat al Hashr:

(Their allies deceived them) like Shaytan (Satan), when he says to man: "Disbelieve in Allah." But when (man) disbelieves in Allah, Shaytan (Satan) says: "I am free of you, I fear Allah, the Lord of the 'Alamin (mankind, jinns and all that exists)!" (Al-Hashr 59:16)

The worshipper ended up being killed by the brothers because they discovered what he did. SubhanAllah!! All because he fell for the shaytan’s whispers!

Now the tears are coming down hard and you can’t control or conceal them. Everyone looks at you. You run to the bathroom. Looking at yourself in the mirror. You see a fully covered Hijabi with tear stained eyes. Tears for months of sins committed. SubhanAllah. Imagine if you would have ended up like the worshipper? Committing Zina! O Allah you cry as you drop the ground, THANK YOU………..THANK YOU for saving me from Zina. You cry as you make a silent duaa: “O ALLAH, FORGIVE ME, FORGIVE ME FOR ALL OF THE OPRESSION I HAVE COMMITED AGAINST MYSELF. O ALLAH I TURN TO YOU IN COMPLETE REPENTANCE. I WILL STOP THE SINS I WAS COMMITING BEFORE, AND I WILL NOT FALL IN THE SAME TRAP AGAIN. YA RABB FORGIVE ME….”.

You sit on the floor for some time sobbing from regret for your wrongs.

The sheikh’s beautiful recitation can be heard on the loud speakers even in the upstairs bathroom where you are. What are the verses he is reciting now? You are still sobbing but you try to listen.

Wait…you know this verse! He’s reciting from….from….Surah Zumar!….Verse 53!

Say: "O 'Ibadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

It was almost like you never heard this verse before in your life, subhanAllah. It has such an impact on your heart. Ya Allah...you say…. what a perfect reminder you sent me!

Ya Rabbi forgive me for all the wrong I have done, and grant me your Mercy!

Ameen

Slowly an action plan forms on your mind. As soon as the lecture is over you are going to act upon it...

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Insha’Allah in the next article called “Conclusion: Lessons Learned, Wisdom Gained” we will wrap up the series and see how the sister turned out. This next part will be jam-packed with daleel insha’Allah and will also include tips for brothers and sisters to put into practice to save themselves from falling into a similar situation like the sister (i.e form online relationship...literally one step away...rather one whisper away from comitting zina!)

Keep in mind, many Muslims do NOT wake up, even with all of the reminders in the world and they end up in most unfortunate situations like the story of the worshipper. We will also mention that in the conclusion.

Please forgive the length of this part! Insha’Allah you read and benefited. Please do not forget to share with family and friends.

BarakAllahu Feekum

Wa’Salaamu Alaiakum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatu

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Remember Marliyana, REMEMBER this: And come not near to unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a faahishah (a great sin) and an evil way.

(Sura Al-Israa 17:32)

The sheikh makes a dramatic pause. He continues: “Brothers and sisters, why do you think Allah does not say “Do not commit Zina”. Why does Allah Azza wa Jal say do not come NEAR to Zina?

The sheikh explains by saying Allah Azza wa Jal in His Wisdom did not only prohibit the munkarat (evil, abominable deeds) but also made the pathways to them prohibited as well.

If you fear Allah, if you want to enter jannah, let it STOP here then.