I miss my old favourite songs, and therefore I shall change my imeem player back. To those of you non-Muslim friends who visit these blog, you can pause the player if you don't feel comfortable. Afterall, I too would do the same if I'm not comfortable with your songs :)

The previous song I put was:



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I wonder what's happening in Gaza. I'd been getting daily 'doses' of news bits from TODAY on the way to work. And I haven't read any newspaper today, so yeah...

I hope the Palestinians get a bit of relieve with the 3hr daily ceasefire...

Anyway, there was an article in Berita Harian a few days ago about 'understanding' why the Jews of Israel do what they do. It goes all the way back to a period before the WWII. Jews slowly lost their rights as humans, living in Germany. And during the WWII, thousands were tortured and killed for no reason except for the belief they believe in (right?). It was NOT by Muslims btw, it was by the Germans, in case you're wondering... Anyway, that holocaust, that genocide, that massacre, as it is said in the article, affects the Jews greatly (of course it would). It is said that when Hamas sent rockets flying into Israel, the Jews probably feel threatened and decided to relatiate.

However, why do they want to retaliate by killing more than 700 Palestinian CIVILIANS, I have no idea. Especially since these too are the Palestinians who had to give part to their land for the Jews from German to live it. (right?) These are the Palestinians who gave them a chance to live, and here they are killing them.

Reminds me of a peribahasa, "bagai melepaskan anjing tersepit". :I

What we see today is a Jewish extremism act. My point is, just as there are Islamic extremists/militants, there are Jewish extremist/militants, Christian extremist/militants and other kinds of extremists/millitants (I'm thinking of Tamil Tigers etc). These extremists/militants most probably become extremists/militants because they themselves or their fellow 'brothers and sisters' or ancestors had had to face oppression in one way or another.

And the aftermath of this Israel attacks on Gaza, I'm afraid, may just give rise to the world seeing more Islamic extremists/militants. (there was an article in TODAY I think which mentioned this) They saw violence, all they saw was violence and they shall grow up to embrace violence as part of their lives... I'm just saying that if after this, we see more Islamic extremists/militants coming from Palestine, don't blame the Islamic teachings...

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Just wanna share what was shared with me... What is aqidah?

3 translations of Surah Al-Baqarah (2): 177

Yusuf Ali:
It is not righteousness that ye turn your faces Towards east or West; but it is righteousness- to believe in God and the Last Day, and the Angels, and the Book, and the Messengers; to spend of your substance, out of love for Him, for your kin, for orphans, for the needy, for the wayfarer, for those who ask, and for the ransom of slaves; to be steadfast in prayer, and practice regular charity; to fulfil the contracts which ye have made; and to be firm and patient, in pain (or suffering) and adversity, and throughout all periods of panic. Such are the people of truth, the God-fearing.

T.U. Hilali-M. Khan:
It is not Al-Birr (piety, righteousness, and each and every act of obedience to Allâh, etc.) that you turn your faces towards east and (or) west (in prayers); but Al-Birr is (the quality of) the one who believes in Allâh, the Last Day, the Angels, the Book, the Prophets and gives his wealth, in spite of love for it, to the kinsfolk, to the orphans, and to Al-Masâkin (the poor), and to the wayfarer, and to those who ask, and to set slaves free, performs As-Salât (Iqâmat-as-Salât), and gives the Zakât, and who fulfill their covenant when they make it, and who are As-Sâbirin (the patient ones, etc.) in extreme poverty and ailment (disease) and at the time of fighting (during the battles). Such are the people of the truth and they are AlMuttaqûn (pious - see V.2:2).

M. Pickthall:
It is not righteousness that ye turn your faces to the East and the West; but righteous is he who believeth in Allah and the Last Day and the angels and the Scripture and the prophets; and giveth wealth, for love of Him, to kinsfolk and to orphans and the needy and the wayfarer and to those who ask, and to set slaves free; and observeth proper worship and payeth the poor-due. And those who keep their treaty when they make one, and the patient in tribulation and adversity and time of stress. Such are they who are sincere. Such are the God-fearing.

Taken from here.

As I've mentioned earlier, English (or Malay too for that matter) cannot cover the Arabic words fully. Arabic words are rich with meaning and one English translation do not truly give justice to the real meaning of alot of Qur'anic verses...

Anyway, do visit youngmuslims.ca... The online library looks interesting. And there was one book recommended to me: "To be a Muslim" by Fathi Yakkan.

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The Tafsir of Surat Al-Ikhlas (Chapter - 112)
Which was revealed in Makkah
The Reason for the Revelation of this Surah and its Virtues

Imam Ahmad recorded from Ubayy bin Ka`b that the idolaters said to the Prophet, "O Muhammad! Tell us the lineage of your Lord.'' So Allah revealed(Say: "He is Allah, One. Allah He begets not, nor was He begotten. And there is none comparable to
Him.'')

Similar was recorded by At-Tirmidhi and Ibn Jarir and they added in their narration that he said,"(As-Samad) is One Who does not give birth, nor was He born, because there is nothing that is born except that it will die, and there is nothing that dies except that it leaves behind inheritance, and indeed Allah does not die and He does not leave behind any inheritance.(And there is none comparable to Him.) This means that there is none similar to Him, none equal to Him and there is nothing at all like Him.''

Ibn Abi Hatim also recorded it and At-Tirmidhi mentioned
it as a Mursal narration. Then At-Tirmidhi said, "And this is the most correct.''

A Hadith on its Virtues

Al-Bukhari reported from `Amrah bint `Abdur-Rahman, who used to stay in the apartment of `A'ishah,the wife of the Prophet, that `A'ishah said, "The Prophet sent a man as the commander of a war expedition and he used to lead his companions in prayer with recitation (of the Qur'an). And he would complete his recitation with the recitation of `Say: He is Allah, One.' So when they returned they mentioned that to the Prophet and he said,(Ask him why does he do that.) So they asked him and he said, `Because it is the description of Ar-Rahman and I love to recite it. So the Prophet said,(Inform him that Allah the Most High loves him.)'' This is how Al-Bukhari recorded this Hadith in his Book of Tawhid. Muslim and An-Nasa'i also recorded it.

In his Book of Salah, Al-Bukhari recorded that Anas said, "A man from the Ansar used to lead the people in prayer in the Masjid of Quba'. Whenever he began a Surah in the recitation of the prayer that he was leading them, he would start by reciting `Say: He is Allah, One' until he completed the entire Surah. Then he would recite another Surah along with it (after it). And used to do this in every Rak`ah. So his companions spoke to him about this saying; `Verily, you begin the prayer with this Surah. Then you think that it is not sufficient for you unless you recite another Surah as well. So you should either recite it or leave it and recite another Surah instead.' The man replied, `I will not leave it off. If you want me to continue leading you(in prayer), I will do this; and if you all do not like it, I will leave you (i.e., I will stop leading you).' They used to consider him to be of the best of them to lead them in prayer and they did not want anyone else to lead them other than him. So, when the Prophet came they informed him of this information
and he said,(O so-and-so! What prevents you from doing what your companions are commanding you to do, and what makes you adhere to the recitation of this Surah in every Rak`ah) The man said, `Verily, I love it.' The Prophet replied,(Your love of it will cause you to enter Paradise.) This was recorded by Al-Bukhari, with a
disconnected chain, but in a manner indicating his approval.

A Hadith that mentions this Surah is equivalent to a Third of the Qur'an

Al-Bukhari recorded from Abu Sa`id that a man heard another man reciting(Say: "He is Allah, One.'') and he was repeating over and over. So when morning came, the man went
to the Prophet and mentioned that to him, and it was as though he was belittling it. The Prophet said,(By He in Whose Hand is my soul, verily it is equivalent to a third of the Qur'an.) Abu Dawud and An-Nasa'i also recorded it.

Another Hadith Al-Bukhari recorded from Abu Sa`id, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Messenger of Allah said to his Companions,(Is one of you not able to recite a third of the Qur'an in a single night) This was something that was difficult for them and they said, "Which of us is able to do that, O Messenger of Allah'' So he replied,("Allah is the One, As-Samad'' is a third of the Qur'an.) Al-Bukhari was alone in recording this Hadith.

There's more. You can read it here.

Saff Perdaus is humbled to be given the opportunity in organizing a Qurban campaign where canned "qurban" meat from Australia will be distributed to the refugees from Darfur and Palestine. Since, there are lack of electricity thus proper refrigeration, canned meat are the best form of contribution from us to them.

As such, I implore you to join us in this cause. A goat is enough for 24 can of meat which can help families to sustain for weeks if not months - something we take for granted here in Singapore.

For more information or to order - email to Sis Afifah (Executive Officer, Saff Perdaus): afifah@perdaus.org.sg or call us at 65132305 today.

I think kan.. I am addicted to internet...



OH NOOOOOO!!!!



Anyway, just got home from bro Hafiz H's nikah and sanding. Best best!! Alhamdulillah dah selamat dah... Haha he only had to recite the penerimaan nikah once. Power2 :D Before the nikah itself, the Ustaz was like giving reminders to bro Hafiz. Aku yang dengar je rasa waduhhh banyak betol tanggungjawab, pengantin sendiri apa rasa agaknya eh?

Met alot of people I know at the majlis. The Perdaus people - Madrasah, Saff, RR'07, Climb IGM... And NI too of course :D Met new people too! Two sisters from TP (previous batches though) as well as my cousin's cousin (whom I so tak kenal, I have no idea how she recognise me).

Me, Liyana and K.Maryam!

Sis Rufi on furthest right of pic.

And that's Sis Aishah, the sister who took Marketing at TP years back, she's one of the founders at the previous TPMS tau, with her anak sedare who is sooo cute and friendly.


Kk.. To bro Hafiz & sis Haryani (the groom and bride), semoga berkekalan sepanjang hayat dan diberkati perjuangan bro n sis berdua senantiasa... Selamat Pengantin Baru!! Tahniah tahniah :D

Hmm... wonder who's next? YOU maybe? (Hah, sape yang terasa tu dialah tu kott hehehe)

Actually I really wonder who's next antara mereka-mereka yang berdiri di belakang tu. *Jeng jeng jeng* Mungkin mereka yang tak habis2 cakap pasal kahwin kahwin kahwin. Or mungkin jugak yang diam diam lepu, ada udang di sebalik batu! Alamak peribahasa tak pass ah.


Masjid Al-amin...


Semangat patriotic!

090808... apalagi kan on 9th Aug kalau tak lain tak bukan hari jadi Sg! Happy birthday Singapore!!! Dah pon 43... Alhamdulillah... And going strong eh! Wishing all the best to Singapore with continued peace and harmony :D

Ni nak cakap sikit... Semalam on the way home in MRT ada nampak this chinese-looking pakcik. Bukannya apa... It just occured to me: Kalau pakcik ni tak pakai songkok, I wouldn't know he's a Muslim. And that goes for people around us too! Without the songkok/tudung, people won't know you're a Muslim or not. I don't mean that everyone who wears songkok or tudung is a PRACTISING Muslim or not, tu bukan aku punya pasal, tu antara dia ngan Tuhan ah. But it's like I see someone wearing songkok/tudung, I know I share something in common with this person: we share the same religion, faith, belief. He/she is my brother/sister in Islam :D Kan kan kan? Reminds me of an iftar session I attended last year at Perdaus. They talked about Muslim identity... There was a question posted: How do we identify that a policeman is a policeman? Or a postman is a postman? Or a nurse is a nurse? How about a Muslim?

ON ANOTHER NOTE... Is a policeman not a policeman when not in his uniform? Postman? Nurse? How about teachers and students? How do you know who is what? As a Muslim, your attitude and your amalan should show that you're a Muslim too. Not just by your clothes. Because...



Islam is a way of life. Show that you're a Muslim in everything you do. The way you dress. The way you speak. The way you greet. Etc etc...

That's all from me for today. InsyaAllah will be back at the same channel, different day and time.

Haha, NI should start a radio station eh k.Maryam? Mus?

I enjoyed a lot a lot yesterday, but not without relevant takeaways!

Climb I.G.M by Saff Perdaus

Lessons from rockclimbing
-hold onto the rope of Allah
-one problem, many ways of solving it
-support from friends
-teamwork allows you to achieve greater heights
-you tend to fall many times along your life journey, but as long as you get up back after that, you would be able to reach the top
-sometimes when you need to let go of certain things you've been holding on too tightly in order to advance
-sometimes you just need to take a step back to see the bigger picture before moving on again
-sadly sometimes you're too focused on your given task that you sweat all your sweat out for it and forget to have a look around you, that would probably make you smile

I love rockclimbing! Even if it means I'd have a very much aching body the next day! Ya my arms and ankles hurt. I strained my right wrist and right ankle during bouldering but I wouldn't miss climbing the high wall for anything. I'm glad I went for it. Kalau tak... Nyesal tak sudah tauu! Great to see some old peeps there! Missed you guys. Was hoping Kak Huda and Kak Nas were there...

Night Cycling 08 Appreciation Night

Sungguh cantik deco nye! A wonderful night. A very happy night.



Reflect: Muadz Bin Umair tetap menegakkan bendera Islam walau telah terpotong kedua-dua tangannya hinggalah beliau rebah di medan peperangan Uhud itu. Cukupkah 'pengorbanan' kita selama ini untuk menegakkan bendera Islam di tangan kita?

Random pics

I want a looooooooooooooong looooooooooooooong loooooooooooooong break, can? From school, from CCA, from events, from camps, from classes EVERYTHING. I wanna hibernate.

Waaaaaah! I have so many things to do!

Actually I'm just being paranoid lah. I tend to be like this sometimes. I have so many things to do, yes, but some are due later while others need to be prioritised first yet I tend to longgok everything together and stress over nothing. This is when thinking too much about the 'future' is bad for you.

Must think (and do something) about the present more!

(I took 10mins to talk to Ad 'cause I'm feeling so tired and so my brain function and my speech is sooooooo slooooooow. Aiseh~)

Schoolwork:
TE lab 2 lit review - intro (Mon)
TE lab 1 materials method, discussion - intro (Mon maybe)
BPT tut 2 (Mon)
BPT project launch (Mon)
SIP form (by Tues)
RTecB topic 2 lecture quiz (on Wed or Thurs)
BPT post-lab (on the spot on Wed)
CSAS (in 2 weeks time - Wed)
LAST 10 animals (Thurs)

Hack!

Others:
Sponsorship (tonight) - tak habis2 lagi!
Elaborate Dakwah topic, plan activity and contact speakers (by Thurs)
Faraidh Research - Sg context (by Sun)
Tugasan Faraidh - cucu lelaki pada anak lelaki (in 6 weeks time) - 3pg
Tugasan tafsir - Al-Fatihah (in 6 weeks time) - 5pg

Schedule:
Monday: gimme a break
Tuesday: Camp Xplore meeting
Wednesday: Titisan
Thursday: D'Talk prog meet
Friday: mixed usrah
Saturday: Climb I.G.M and Nite Cycling Appreciation Nite
Sunday: Madrasah

Happenings/Birthdays in May:
2nd May: Bro Mohksin's birthday
11th May: Mothers' Day
11th May: Fathi's birthday
13th May: Kak Dessy's birthday
13th May: Bro Asrul's birthday
16th May: library books due
16th May: mixed usrah
17th May: Saff Climb I.G.M
17th May: Nite Cycling Appreciation Nite
23rd-24th May: D'Talk workshop for organisers

Why don't I feel lega it's all out of my system???

What's taking up my June holidays:
9th June: LAST husbandry stuff (no it's not a course to find a husband whatsoever okeh)
11th-12th June: Camp Xplore
13th-16th June: KRC
17th-19th June: gimme a 3-day break la, is that too much to ask for?
20th-22nd June: D'Talk

Having fun seems a chore to me...

Been running a marathon since Apr 1st and I must keep pushing myself till the end point - which will be the starting point of another race I'm sure (eg. exam, SIP, some event...) I should really consider taking up logistics (NOT fnb k) for the next event...

What I really WANT:
hibernate
sleep
clean my room (I can't believe I'm saying I wanna clean it, normally its 'I need to clean it)
catch a movie (my mum ajak tengok Ayat-ayat cinta and I shrieked, "NAK!!"
read a novel - a Malay novel by Habbiburrahman (can't believe this also!)
meet Sylvia & Khairiyah (their birthday presents are long due!)
write sylvia a letter
go jalan2 with my mum without having to worry about ANYTHING
donate blood (tak puas hati ar the first time round)
cekik somebody (just kidding!)

This ^^^ is the reason why I put "O u who believe! Strengthen uselves with resolution and prayer. Indeed Allah is with those who persevere in adversity 2:153" as my MSN nick, I really need to reemind myself at all times. Soon, my mum is gonna hang a 'Dengan nama Allah' carved wood in my room so I can remind myself to do everything in his cause at all times.

I'm loving Allah, Rasulullah, Islam, my parents, my friends and even myself more and more, but I feel that I fail to show it. Not show to show off kinda context. But show in my actions gitu. Now, I feel like my actions are not in line with what I believe gitu. Susahlah nak explain!

Issues I need to resolve:
Within myself (berbulan-bulan dah! Masih tak resolve lagi)
Amongst my D'Talk prog members (where can I get strength, courage and firmness O Allah?)
Amongst my Camp Xplore admin members (same as above, need to instil some leadership skills in myself!)
Juggling school with others (time management rabak sey)
Health (entahlah, I'm like giving up on it... Will try to eat more fruits)

Some things I'm proud to have done this past week:
Managed not to fall sick!
Learn to adjust margins and tabs on Microsoft Words
Did camp xplore brochure (with help from other dept of cos)
Presented on Medinan Charter (Piagam Madinah)
Created a video for Mothers' Day (she didn't cry though, why??)
I didn't cry once even though I'm under alooot of pressure
dah itu je seh... nothing on school... :(

Some things I'm disappointed at myself about:
My failure to be firm as a letter
My failure to arrive early/on time for school
My failure to get Director's List (I feel as if it's a duty entasked to me...)
My failure to keep my room clean
My failure to be aware of my food intake

Banyak eh aku tulis. Wanna write more actually... Wanna write about what I think about this makcik I met at Ghufran, about career/SIP, about marriage, about LAST lab, about faraidh lesson, about family, about weird stuff and many more! Btw, jangan judge by what I'd just said... These did circulate in my mind a lot, but I don't wish to be judged by my thoughts can?

My next tagline: "Okeh?" :n

Nak makan chocolate, nak makan sushi, nak makan bubur, nak TIDO!

Tak nak buat keje, tak nak gi skola, tak nak kluar rumah, tak nak bangun dari katil pon! (except for necessities larh)

Actually, I have so much to thank for, ungrateful me...

Anw, initially I thought cyclone had something to do cloning humans and I actually wanted to ask, "They're successful??" Ermmmmmm

Still having headache. Movement and speech getting slower and slower, eyes getting more and more tired...

Sometimes thinking is such a tiring thing to do

Choices... Just thinking about these...

Titisan will always be funny no matter how serious it is supposed to be. Haha, we have an upcoming performance at some CC far far away soon and so there were auditions today. Dush! Betol seh kata Fifi, orang buat 'Spoof!' lepas show dah over. ni audition belum lagi selesai korang dah buat 'Spoof!' Haha, ape dah...

Disappointed at the turn-out today though. Asal korang semua tak datang nie?? Dah lah tak reply our announcement message. Aiyayai...

Did you know that TP looks stunning when it rains in the evening? Heheh... Oh this reminds me of the 'Muslim-in-Campus' camp that is gonna be conducted by the Sec 4 Perdaus Madrasah students in 9 more days!! I really feel it is a good idea to have this. So korang-korang yang baru lepas 'O' level tu atau nak amek 'O' level this year, silalah sign up eh. InsyaAllah it'd be helpful. Wish there was something like this in my time hehe.

Assalaamu'alaikum


Took your "O" or "N" Levels last year?
Or are you taking it this year?

If you are 15-18 years old,
come join us as we prep you for life post-secondary!

Learn to be an active member of your school community
whilst holding on to your Muslim identity!

Muslim In Campus
a camp for Muslim students going to post-secondary institutions

Happening in and around Masjid Assyakirin
Saturday 15 March to Sunday 16 March 2008

Only $15 Per Person
$12 per person (Perdaus student / child of Perdaus staff)

Visit our website here for details.

Muslim In Campus is a project by Madrasah Perdaus, and is supported by Saff-Perdaus.

Sorry I'm too lazy to post up the poster hihi..

I miss my blogging!!! Been busy with this meeting and that meeting for the past two days... I'm buried up to eye level with so many things to do right now, that I kept forgetting to call Ms Lee regarding the DRP *gulps*

Tell me I'm crazy. I probably am haha. Anyway, I'm not hear to blab on that. That's for me to figure out how to balance things out. (Though friendly advice and suggestions are welcomed of course =))

I had NI meeting at Saff Centre, Bukit Gombak on Monday morning. 10am tau. As to not to be late, I left house at 8.30am, so the MRT ride was still packed with people trying to get to school (poly) and work uh. And because I saw that Mas selamat poster everywhere, I kept wondering what if he were to be on the same train... Then I laughed at myself lar, cos why in the world would a fugitive be taking a train ride?? But then at Kembangan or Eunos station, the MRT didn't move off after closing it's doors tau. It opened the doors back, then closed, then opened... And there were two MRT officials running about. I was like, "Oh no, is he really on board??" But rest assured, no he wasn't. And I laughed at myself again.

Haha, this Mas Selamat case is making a kiasu Singaporean like me paranoid. It is like those SARS and bird flu times you know.. Perhaps a terrorist IS comparable to someone with a deadly virus. Afterall, both can cost the lives of many people. Btw, I took Applied Microbiology this sem right, and one topic mentions about bird flu. Let me find my paper and type out what is written...

Is the next influenza pandemic coming? YES!
When? DON'T KNOW.
Can it be prevented? PROBABLY NOT.
Can it be controlled? HOPEFULLY.
Are we prepared now? NO!
Will be be prepared then? HOPEFULLY.

Wow, have fun preparing friends...

Anyway, continuing with my MRT early morning long-distance train ride experience... You know it gets crowded right, and you probably don't get to sit... There was one time I was leaning against the 3-pole pillar deep in thoughts and then I straightened myself up for awhile larh. I know I'm short lar ok. But get this.. I am short enough to be under someone's arm while holding onto the top railing (I didn't really notice whether it was the railing or the hanging hand bars he was holding onto. I hope it's he former!) Like what the!! And if the train had stopped abruptly for one reason or another, I could easily have fallen into this mat salleh's armpit lah ok. Sheesh!

On that day I was wearing Saff shirt, cause practically I had nothing else to wear that would seem NEW. I'd been wearing the same few shirts over and over again ok! And I've yet to get over the fact that my malicious black cat by the name of Malice has hopped into my clothes cabinet and comfortably snuggled inside such that I do not want to wear anything from inside it... Besides I was heading towards Saff Centre eventhough it was for NI meeting and not Saff meeting haha. Anywayyyyyy back on track... You know the Saff shirt has the motto (or whatever you call it) on the sleeves right... Mine is in English saying "Together we mould the best in youths". Fulamak, the motto is already so motivating. Then there was something which happened that made me proud of myself. And I happened to look at my reflection in the glass pane and when I saw the words on my sleeve, I smiled. I do hope I'm slowly being moulded into one of the best youths. A looong way to go but not impossible! I am erm... JUST 19. Hehehee..

Can;t wait for the Nasi britani my mum is buying. Hungry, hungry I am hungry, table table here I come! Lol, I can never forget that song from Sec 1 or 2 music lesson lol.

I am loving my blog *big big grin*. There are still some edits to do like my list of links and the post divider which had never appeared but I know it is in the html! And I really want my blog to play Sami Yusuf's Asmaul Husna and not The Fikr's Wanita Shalihah song... Speaking of wanita shalihah, hmm... it is tougher than it seems to be a wanita shalihah... We'll strive together, right sisters? InsyaAllah...

I feel like adding those BIG emoticons to my sidebar cos everyday there is one distinct feeling or another and the only place I say it is on my MSN optional message bar haha. I was feeling quiet yesterday... I came across these btw.

I have to keep reminding our purpose of life... It is very easy to forget, even with the constant reminders I get during NC meetings every Tuesdays. Macam, hati ni belum tegas tentang niat lah... Haha, one reason why I choose 'Journey of Purpose' as the title of this blog. To keep reminding myself haha.

Poly results next week. *shrieks!*

Btw, do you think red and black is my colour?

There's soooo much to blog, yet at the same time I dunno what to blog about. Hai... Let me just write what comes straight into my mind aite.

Just applied for DPIA this afternoon and they told me I might not get in this semester as the DPIA class for this sem is already full. There's a possibility I have to join in July sem. Boo hoo... My fault larh register so late, but what can I do, firstly, I couldn't decide which madrasah to continue my post-menengah and secondly, I was v. busy to go there to register. The only time I'm free is during public holiday, which the office is closed. Then there is no online registration available for DPIA. On Thurs I finished late and office is closed at 5pm. Friday I went only to find out that the office is closed on Fridays. And so, I dropped by today, which is one day before the semester starts... She asked me to just attend tomorrow's class. Over the weekend I might have to go for an interview. Interview seh! Then I'll have to see whether the director wants me at Andalus. Ewah ewah...

Been feeling lonely and gloomy these few days. Actually, come to think of it, I'd been this way the whole of 2007! Since February at least. Just that there were times when the loneliness is more... erm, noticeable? I'm sorry to be posting a depressed post. I wish I had better news. Depressed posts are boring...

Been feeling easily irritable and rebellious. So much so that I get irritated at myself lol.

If I have to sum up 2007 in one word, it would be 'lonely'. I ever expressed this loneliness to a few people, in my effort to find some comfort. Some just shrugged it off. There were some who blamed me back for not taking the initiative to keep in constant contact with friends. I don't deny that...

2007 had also been a turning point in my life, so far... I tried the working world, yes while schooling. And it wasn't just any job you'd say typical of schooling poly students. It was different. Even from the start I was uncomfortable. For 3-4 months I did things against my will, sacrificed my sleep and fill every single second with something to do. I tried my best to fit in. Yet... 5 times I broke down. Yes, I counted. And the only thing I felt when I decided to quit was relief. Yet, till now I haven't officially announced my quit. When I said I have unfinished business from 2007, this is one of them. Somehow, I feel like a failure... Those who know what I was doing, don't talk about it. And those who don't, don't ask.

Apart from that, I got involved in Muslim organisations. As in, really involved by helping out with events. Bunayya Camp was my first project. I hardly knew what I was doing, and basically, I didn't do much. Until the camp itself then I started to work haha. Somehow Bunayya kickstarted a whole series of events in which I'm not a participant, but part of the organising comm. Let's see... After Bunayya (madrasah with Saff-program) was Camp Xplore (Fityan-program), Harmony Race (Fityan-program & minutes), Musollah Clean-up (NI-program), Ramadhan Rocks (Saff-program), BTF Iftar (NI-program) amd finally Gema Ghufran (Fityan-admin). These I enjoyed. Let's talk about each shall we?

Bunayya was a camp for kids held at Pasir Ris Park. Basically as a program member, I did my job as station-ICs and scorekeeper. At that time, I was still clueless about this whole organising stuff and so I just did as I was told.

Camp Xplore was a camp for teens held at MDG. I was dragged to be a programmer because Jun said they needed one. Kesiankan kawan aku ni, aku pon tolong lah.. But then, I was in the comm like what, if I'm not mistaken, 2 weeks before the event? They already had the list of programs lined up. My job was to set up the detailed prog sheet for all comm members and prepare log list. Faizal guided me. The now Recruit Faizal hehe. I still remember at nearly midnight one fine night after meeting, he asked me to visualize: at this time this time where would everyone be, what should they be doing and what things should already be there? Oh my, first time buat lah kan... I spent a few nights doing it. And even one night before the event I was still editing it at MDG office. Wow. Macam ape seh... During the camp was... challenging. Program was horrible! Everything ended later than scheduled. This was one of the most memorable and challenging event of 2007 I tell you. During a short post-mortem after the camp, I cried and cried and couldn't stop. Sheesh! Nevertheless, it was the most enjoyable camp I'd organised. And through this camp also, I became close to Jun and Fathi. To put it simply, we were there for each other through thick and thin throughout the camp.

Harmony Race was part of an event conducted by 7 mosques supported by NorthEast CDC. I think I was more of a minutes recorder than a programmer. All the program things weren't done by me. Instead I was doing admin work with Jun and Fathi lol. Even on the day itself! Tak layak ku dipanggil programmer. Macam lembu punya susu sapi dapat nama pulak. Ewah, dah lama tak pakai peribahasa lol. But seriously, guilty seh...

Musollah Clean-Up was a small-scale event by NI to 'try-out' the new comm members at organising and at the same time to bond existing members with newly recruited ones. It's like a bigger form of ta'aruf session lol. At the same time, we cleaned up the TP musollahs. This event, I was pretty slack. I didn't know what to do and Kak Mayam did most of the work for me in the end. Guilty lagi ni...

Ramadhan Rocks is, as many Muslim youths know, an annual Ramadhan event conducted by Saff Perdaus and the highlight is supposed to be rockclimbing lah. Because Saff Centre is all the way at Bukit Gombak/Batok, I only presented myself at one of the earlier meetings before going MIA for quite some time till the date nears the event. Most of the job done was a day before the event and during the event itself. Like Bunayya, my job is more towards the day itself. Basically I was one of the Station ICs lah. FYI, Ramadhan Rocks 1428H was a race... I helped out a bit at Delbargia Green before heading to my main station: archery! Made many new friends through Ramadhan Rocks and I really enjoyed archery. Kluar tv lagi hehe. Alar sikit je, belakang Huda while she archered during one of Warna Ramadhan's segments. Missing the friends I made during the event: Fadhilah and Kak Fida especially. Was looking forward to meeting them during Stong expedition...

BTF Iftar is NI's annual iftar event held at Chai Chee with the old folks. Through this event, I bonded with some of the comm members pretty well especially the year 1s Mus and Dian, who became the wonderful hosts for the event! And at the same time, leaving me to handle the program on my own. Susah tu, but I think I scrapped through with just a few scars lol. Seram sejuk k berbual depan people from NI, NYPMSN, SP, RP and NP, including my ustaz from Perdaus (masih ingat lagi, the one who found a Maple Story cd in a goodie bag from RP and I asked if I could have it, tak tau malu eh)! Oh my, initially I couldn't remember where I got to know this one brother from NP (ke NYP) and when I realised who he was, I wqas like, "Kau... Maluuuuu nyerrrrrr! Camne ni!!" This event is the other most memorable event of 2007. Again, during a short post-mortem after the event I cried and cried and couldn't stop haha. Sungguh the buat malu k. Dr Faishal was there larh... I'd say this iftar was the least disappointing event I organised. Boleh tahan arh, menjadi jugak. And most importantly, I did my job. Before AND during the event. Of course ade mistakes jugak, but I shall make them lessons to be learnt. =)

Gema Ghufran was a perjumpaan hari raya held at MDG MPH. The only 2007 event that I was in the admin team. And the last event for me to organise in 2007... I quite did my job... I was the minutes recorder, erm... And till now I owe Fityan the last minutes for this event. Opps. >_< As for the calling calling part, first time seh kena buat (ok, second.. but the first time I only had to like like what 4 people?). Called most of the Springfield students who helped out in Ramadhan... And on the day itself, ape lagi: Registration lah. Didn't do much at the registration counter actually... But I guess there was a mutual understanding between me and Liyana. I do the minutes, we half-half do the calling, you do the registration list and all. Kan Liyana kan?

Dah itu je.. Adelah a few other events where I sebok2 help-out at like OCEAN where I helped to call people up, Korban where I did registration and had fun at =) dah chop tahun depan nak buat registration hehe and Tathmin Mibarrat where I did registration again but it was erm... a mess arh...

Ok! Dah aku dah tak tau ape nak tulis... Actually I wanna do like a Hall of fame of 2007 thingy like: The Most Happiest Moment, The Most Funiest Moment, The Most Scariest Moment, The Most Saddest Moment, The Most Embarrassing Moment, The Most Loneliest Moment, The Most Guilty Moment, The Most Silliest Moment bla bla bla, but I can't think much right now. So let me just tell a few stories...

There was a time (macam storytelling betol2 pulak haha, tapi ni cerita benar k) as part of our KPR class, Fityan went to qiyam at Masjid Firdaus, the one near the kubur ooOOooOO... There was this story which Ustaz Jamaluddin shared at midnight, which was saddening and makes us reflect afterwhich we wrote a surat wasiat for our family. I think that and the moment where we walked quietly in the kubur were the most taubat-ing moment of 2007 haha. And another moment was a conversation i had with Hafiz on MSN one fine night about kiamat. Taubat taubat...

Then there was this time during jalan raya with titisan at Elfy's house. We were eating at his dinig table at around 11pm gitu. Beside me was Haikal and beside him was Matin and they made jokes throughout the dinner that I kept laughing and laughing till I cried. I couldn't finish my rice larh, ate a few mouthfuls only!~

There's quite a few embarrassing moments which I'll remember. One of it, which is not too embarrassing to share hehe, was when I slid from the exit door almost all the way to the front of the bus and Jun and Fathi laughed at me so hard even after we alighted the bus and were walking.

1) My psycho group has come up with a suitable ad for our project. We just have to fine tune it a bit here and there to ease our work. Well, we are not exactly experts with video making and editing ok... Oh, and I get to become a small kid again! Wee!

2) I get to go to Stong with Saff!!! Woo hoo! But I must pay the $80 myself AND I must ensure my room is clean and neat hehehe.

3) I'm getting a laptop at $300!! I don't mind the investment! I mean firstly I do NEED that laptop. The only reason why I hesitate to buy is because I have to use my own money and it's such an 'ouch' using up >$1000 from my savings, which is meant for my uni after I obtain my diploma insyaAllah, for a machine. Seriously I doubt I'd get help from either Mendaki or CPF Boards. Without savings, how could I reach my dreams?

Hmm... It's past midnight and I haven't done my AMic essay!

Laughter is the best medicine. And I've been laughing and laughing until I can cry. Especially Titisan's last training before we break for Term Tests last night! We played 3 games.

1) We played this 'musical-chair'-like game. Four chairs were placed at each corner of the room and there's one 'monkey' in the middle. We must keep changing seats and we do that by signalling through eye contact with the other person across the room. Fun! And there were some super funny moments like when Haikal ran with his arms bent like a chicken wing and blocked the other person's way or when Sufi and Matin were fighting for the seat L-O-L! My strategy while exchanging seats was to be the first one to leave my seat instead of waiting for the other person to get up first. And while being the 'monkey', I stared at their eyes to prevent them having eye contacts with the others. But honestly lah, senang2 boleh sprain seh ankle!

2) Then we played the Cat-and-Mouse game. The last time I played it was in an open area and I was the Mouse. That time I kept running and running non-stop and hitting everyone in my way, even Fifi who was trying to ensure safety! Yesterday's session the conditons kept changing such as having to use alphabets to give directions or must crawl or must walk like a duck and such lah. When it was my turn, I had to crawl. Haha, I'm an expert! I was the Cat yesterday which makes things much easier! I crawled around the room as if all my life I'd been using four legs instead of two haha! Seriously, even they said that I was crawling so fast... My strategy was to try and keep my sense of direction even while Hid walk me and spin me around the room. But that was hard, I got lost halfway in the darkness. Sheesh, behind the blindfold I felt like I was in complete darkness but actually I wasn't. Second strategy was to focus on one voice. I guess I'm so used to Wani's voice by now that I can reognise it blindfolded and while crawling lol. Shut off the others, focus on Wani's voice and followed her directions and wa laa! I caught Wani! The part where Haikal was the Mouse and Rayhana was the Cat was funny. 11 secs seh! And their condition was they have to move sideways only like a crab. Oh oh! The part where Hafiz was Cat and Amalina was Mouse was worse! Their condition was to walk like a duck. Hafiz was waddling everywhere with his arms out and hugging whoever comes in his way, even Fifi! Lol, Fifi was flat against the wall shouting at Hafiz that she's not Amalina haha. Oh and Hafiz hit his head against the wall and Fifi didn't stop him lol!

3) We played 'concentration' and 'R-O-C-K' both of which if someone makes a mistake once we have a 'stupid' song to sing to and if she/he does another mistake, everyone will hit hit/her hand. Ouch, each hand came out super red after each round and ow ow ow Hid pinched Fifi and there was revenge alright. Pedih la seh! Suka eh korang menyakitkan kawan2 sendiri??

After the games was Spacejump and oh my my, you guyz are a creative bunch. Merepek2 tapi kelakar lah. Ade2 je eh. And well, Titisan brings out all the pent up emotions. If last time I cried my heart out, this time aku jadi gangster. Terkejut Hid haha, sry la beb, just reacting to the situation hehe.

Will always love Titisan...

Anyway, in school today Yuva and Kayathree calls me putih tikus cos I was wearing white pants and during lab I did a rat like posture lol.

Yay yay Hikmah 3 dah start on Sensasi! Best best!

Anyway, hopped to Ustazah Aisha's blog tadi, ada entry:

Sambutan raya sibuklah sangat
Nak kirim ucapan pun tak sempat
Harap salamku belum terlambat
Esei aqidah kot belum dapat...?

Lolz! Nampaknya bukan aku sorang yang tergendala kerja gara2 10 hari terakhir Ramadhan, preparations for raya and jalan raya yang tak habis2! Salah timing lah...

Anyway, I'm having a bad case of rashes. Was worst yesterday... It started to itch at the leg area, then the arms then like the whole body pulak aisehman. I just hope it's nothing worst than normal rashes sebab I saw an insect bite on my arm. Tsk tsk. Takut jugak ni cos badan rasa panas2... Teringat that time my dad kena dengue! Alamak! Ni asyik hujan hujan nie...

Teringat joke raya kat rumah my nenek tiri (terpikir jap grand-step-mother or step-grand-mother lol). Actually bukan joke, just what I said was funny hehe. Rumah dia lawa ada tangga, kita sukerr la nak amek gambar. Abe maluu, paiseh! My nenek tiri ni pulak ngah duduk kat tangga tu so when I passed her I said, "Nek, tumpang tangga nak amek gambar." Lol, macam ape seh.

Hai, dari tadi pegang buku tafsir nak habiskan tafsir project tapiiiiii... Ish tak tau nak tulis ape laa. What can us Muslims learn from keistimewaan, hak2 & tanggungjawab Rasulullah dan ahlul baitnya??!! Sheesh...

Zee told me tak jadi jalan raya this saturday pasal ramai fatayaats takble make it. So postponed to 27th! Waah! Saff siang2 dah book that date nak jalan raya. Serba salah aku dibuatnya. Fityan always my first priority but Saff dah bilang dulu siang2. Macam time tu RamadhanRocks clash ngan Fityan nye Youth Connected abe aku siang2 sejak July dah committed ngan RamadhanRocks. Haixx.. See Saddiq, susah tau! Aku majok boycott dua2 kang! (Sekali dorang lagi suka, alamakkk!!)

Ape je yang aku merepek dari tadi ye (padahal nak escape buat Tafsir project lol). Dah la!
Signing off! Ouh, NI nye jalan raya on 28th Oct and Fityan nye Perjumpaan Hari Raya event on 3rd Nov. And if I'm not mistaken, madrasah exams on 4th Nov. Alamakkk oiiiii!!!