Nom nom nom nom nom... *sigh*

My mum said that I act differently at home with family and outside with friends.

Well, to a certain extent I wouldn't deny that. Family is my mahram, I can be comfortable with. Outside with friends there are certain limits to how I act right? At home you can say out your thoughts and feelings openly but outside with friends you may have to filter abit for you have not known them all your life and wouldn't know how they'd take it.

At the same time, I'd say that yes I'm garang at home with my family, and yes I'm garang outside with my friends too, ESPECIALLY when I'm rushing an assignment, my patience and tolerance is really low and anybody near me just gets it. And lately, that is how it is, school has started and so there are assignment after assignments to rush for. And I just don't wish to be disturbed....

And I am very impatient when teaching someone something too (i.e. teaching my mum how to use a new handphone, just as teaching a friend say.... how to plot a graph on excel?) which I'm trying to change la actually since I'm going to be a teacher and I'd definitely need to be patient with the weaker students...

But my mum thinks that I try to be an angel outside and her suggestion that I'm being hypocritic is... hurtful. Just feel that the advice or reminder could have come in a nicer way than a sindiran...

Haiz, another thing is that, this week I'd be home before Maghrib every single day, but when I came home late yesterday (I told her I had bbq with friends, obviously it'd end late...) my mum said I come home late everyday.... That's not fair... That's not true! I'd really been trying to cut down my commitments outside by having no more than say... 2 meetings per week! Of course it doesn't help when meetings start late cos people come late and so we have to end late grrrrrrrr... so angry. I rejected to being the vice-president of NTUMS (as in, I was nominated only lah, not chosen pon but yea I rejected the post out of my own free will) and I ignored the msg to be the finance/business manager of Islamic Awareness Week (sry! I was busy! and yea me and financing/business don't really get along well together... And since I lost my contacts I have no idea who msged... so I just decided to ignore since I'm afraid that if I reply, somehow I'd get dragged into it anyways... It's easier to reject in sms than in a call or face-to-face conversation...) anddddd I also rejected to be the Head of Muslimah for the Tarbiyah subcomm giving the excuse that my commitments in Fityan requires much of my attention already. That's THREE rejects ok. It takes courage to say no, but I have been juggling and I'm sick of being a clown. I'm not being courageous, I'm just being realistic. With my parents being overbearingly erm... like this (I dunno, I guess I was such a free bird when I stayed in hall that I just feel caged and suffocated now when my parents ask what time am I going out, what time am I coming back, who will I be with, where will I be going like everyday... I know I know, girls my age some still have curfews etc and probably get it worse, but yea...) I just have to lessen my commitments outside and be at home more (which I don't really know what to do other than the normal lah, facebook, watch tv, eat, do work, read, sleep, and that is wrong? And I DO talk to my parents, what else is expected of me, tell me!!!! It's not that I don't wanna go out with my mum or family, they just have to tell me earlier so I can plan my time... please, I only go out with friends like once or twice a month... other than that, it's usrah, meeting or camp... which doesn't count. When was the last time I watched movie? In august before Ramadhan? When was the last time I had dinner outside with friends? Ramadhan? When was the last time I went cycling or had a bbq or went to play boardgames or just chit chat? Before yesterday, I can't remember when was the last time... Quite sometime ago seh.

And she said that when I'm at home I always sleep, well you have to understand that 2hrs journey to school and another 2hrs journey home IS very very tiring for me especially with lectures in between that just drains all your energy as it requires attention and thinking! (I'm putting much effort in understanding all those equations that's being churned out in class like nobody's business!) This sem I only fell asleep twice in lecture. That's an achievement, especially when I have to leave house as early as 6.30am like on Mondays. Of course I'd be tired and would sleep when I see the bed!

And that accusation that I always sleep is not right! This week I spend two hours daily at least to sit in the living room, eat, watch tv and chat with my parents during tv advertisements. That's effort on my part! An unrecognised effort at that... But I don't think right now is the right time to say that to them... What with all my brother's weeding preparations and I dunno what other things there are...

But yea, I feel so unappreciated. I feel that none of the good things I do get acknowledged or even recognized at all, yet my wrongs are amplified 1000 times, by my own family! And I don't see no effort in trying to understand me... Just so sad...

La tahzan Marl, la tahzan... I feel so alone in my journey sometimes. Sometimes I would share with some of my close sisters/friends but mostly no, I won't, what's the point? Everyone has problems... So I keep them all to myself and yea, let things past, which they will after some time...

This shouldn't be on my blog, especially if someone finds this and talks to my mum about it (like something that happened before) but I need an avenue to let out. I feel bad typing this here as it is, but it's no use talking to my mum about this now to smooth things out. Whatever I say will be rebutted anyway. But yea I've smsed her some of my thoughts yesterday. I hope she doesn't regard it as 'talking back', I'm just desperate to be understood... I guess this is a typical complain of a erm... youth? Things will get better tmr and probably bad again the next day and good again the next next day etc etc. Things will come to past and when you look back, sometimes you just laugh at stupid things that happen, or realise the whole hikmah of others.

I wanted to talk about the bbq yesterday actually. I was bored most of the time, but simple things in between like playing Scramble and TapTap on Ati's phone with Liy, watching Chamber of Secrets with Ati and Liy, trying out tennis with the bunch of them, playing Codebreaker with Hilmy and Ati, Air Hockey with Hilmy, the birthday cards, the bbq itself and our 11.30pm late gorging of food to finish everything and our midnight HTHT session, they made my day, made my week and eventhough I''m stressed that I didn't complete any work at all yesterday, I enjoyed myself because of the company. I love my FOC peeps...

Oh my camera's fixed. I have my darling back to snap and video 'evidences' hehe. I missed my camera...

Ok, I should either eat, study or sleep like now. Have madrasah later...

I shall be driving again today :) Abit excited, abit nervous, abit "aiyar, just do it". I shall strive till I get a license this time round insyaAllah. It's about time... I dunno, I just feel like 21 is an age to get up and grow up. I never had the confidence that I will pass driving before this just as I had no confidence of being a facilitator or mentor. But at 21, I find myself saying that if I don't have confidence now, I never will.

I still don't have the confidence of leading a group of people my age or older towards the betterment of society though. Still hiding in my shell and telling myself that people will look down on my capabilities and there's no point in leading people whom I would have to spend time earning trust. I need to show what I'm capable of first (though I've yet to move towards it, since I don't know if that path is what I want to pursue in).

Haha, this reminds me of the conversation I had with Amina on the train a few days ago. She kept being surprised at what I'm capable of. And when I asked her what was her first impression of me the first time I stepped into the room for the first meeting with the advisors, commandant, deputy commandant (herself), coordinator and co-ccoordinator, she said that she thought that I look like an English teacher and is in the welfare role (HAHA). I as the head programmer was 5th in command and I guess I showed that I'm a follower rather than a leader back then. But the way Amina is surprised is like funny! She was so surprised at how the creativity and ideas flowed in programmes team (though that was largely due to a very wonderful team which included Luthfi the ideas generator). She was so surprised to know I was in silat and so can't imagine me doing it (actually I don't see myself doing it either, I was just trying new things heheh and I learned cool stuff indeed and I think I did lose some weight :D). She was shocked to see me carrying the thick Invertebrate Biology book around and can't see me as a Science-y person (well, if she means to say I don't look like a nerd, thank God, but really, I love and am passionate about Biology especially Molecular Biology stuff!). And she was super impressed when I solved all 3 (easy, medium AND hard) codes on mastermind in 7 steps or less! Hahahaha I may not show that I have IQ, but gosh, have I been showing like I'm such a dumb bimbo? Hmm, a point to ponder on ehhh.

Ok, I'm 2hrs away from driving. Whee? I should go get ready now, wouldn't want to be late.

Because of driving, I'm like super broke. Never in my life have I had less than $450-500 in my bank account and today it stands at $9 plus 0_o

I had been wanting to blog for days, but my health had been stopping me from doing so. Been feeling very very lethargic lately, need to drink more water I think, and get more rest...

Let's see, had La Cosa Nostra mock camp last weekend. Then Monday was a short rest, Tues had prog meeting 10am-7pm, Wed had IS at night, Thurs had prog meeting again 9am-2pm.

It seems alot, not to mention the almost incessant messaging. It certainly is not easy being Head Programmer. Alhamdulillah for the wonderful team, everyone contributes and we move forward together. We are truly like a family. Ohana, nobody gets left behind.

There are two issues I wanna talk about with regards to this orientation.

Firstly, it seems that people may think that I am putting to my effort and time in this orientation, which to their eyes is just another event. For awhile I had the same in my mind too. Questions creep to me, "Why are you doing this? Isn't it a waste of time? What's the point of doing it?" etc and yeah I lost focus and purpose. But I had a talk with two people recently who helped me see that there is a reason I'm where I am. I DO have a purpose to fulfill, and as I think deeper about it, yes indeed, yes indeed. Do not judge me as a person who is involved in JUST another program. Do not judge me as a person who is wasting my time. Do not judge me as a person who do not prioritizes well.... The event is less than a month away. There are alot of things that still needs to be done. And I have a responsibility to carry out. To many, it may mean nothing. To me, it is a platform for me to uphold what is right and stop what isn't. It's just about a month more. Bear with my absence. I'll be back insyaAllah.... in the meantime, do not judge me.

Secondly, I can't remember what's the second issue oredi, so nevermind it.

Still feeling feverish. Been dreaming alot during my sleep. Dreamt of the past when I was young. Dreamt of things that happened not too long ago. Dreamt of things I wish would happen. Dreamt of things I fear. Dreamt of my thoughts. Dreamt of all kinds of things.

Haiz, I'm just not in the best state right now. Alot of things happening around me. Alot of thoughts going through my mind.

There's so many people around me, with so many different values and principles that they hold to. Some may even contradict mine.

Some of my friends have been making fun of me, saying that the only songs I listen to is nasyid. Imagine what would they say if I say that I'm trying not to listen to songs at all.

Some of my friends make fun of me, saying that the shirts I wear are too long and baggy. Imagine what would they say if I say I wish to wear a jubah everyday.

Some of my friends are making fun of me, saying that I am too picky when it comes to food. Imagine what would they say if I say I check the ingredients of all the food that comes my way and if there's a better alternative (with a halal sign) I would go for it, including toothpaste.

Some of my friends laugh at me when I talk about amanah of the community's money (zakat untuk fisabilillah) and such. But I'm just trying to let them know what they know not. It is my responsibility. I do not wish to bersubahat. At the very least, I have brought up my point. Whether they accept what I say, at least I can answer later that I tried. I just wish I am a better speaker, such that people can see my points more clearly. Many Islamic scholars are fluent speakers, it's not a wonder...

Sometimes I feel I'm such a hypocrite. I wish I am not. I do not wish to say what I do not do. Though sometimes you have to.

This world is full of so many different people, with many different features, many different personalities, many different values and principles. But there's only ONE truth...

Many a time people do not put importance to religion. Or rather, they do not see the importance.

I wish I can declare that no matter what happens, religion comes first, but I know I can't... Cause I too many a time forget this priority.

Okok, enough about this... I'm just... in need of a spiritual booster.

I just wish I am in a better state right now. Spiritually, and physically.

This video just made me very very sad...



We share the same world, the same earth, yet....

It's something for us to think about.

Anyway, I had a crazy weekend, and the craziness didn't stop there.

I'm at SCBE again right now, supposedly to study and do work (but apparently my harddisk has decided to make it hard for me to continue ICT, it hanged!! I better back-up soon sehhhhh) but as usual, visit facebook first... And here I am now on blogger...

So yeah, crazy weekend....

Started off with Friday rush. Had ICT meeting at noon, and so had to create and fill a PBWiki page AND I also had to rush my Chem lab report before going for lab prac. Completed it late and went to lab late. I seem to miss the briefing every week. Thank God I have a friend like Harizah...

After lab, met up with the Bio gang (only Harizah and Jeffrey couldn't join us) to celebrate Pie's birthday at Sakura Pioneer. Haha, he kena saboed and he enjoyed it! We truly filled our stomach (though I had it better this time... the last time I went Sakura with family was super duper kenyang, tak senonoh seh perangai). And because we laughed and laughed and laughed (satu satu kerenah HAHA) we couldn't eat that much. It was a happy Friday night I should say.... Had been 'enjoying' myself alot sehh...

After the dinner celebration, I rushed home (did some work on the train to save time) and finished up the 3 e-learning ALS tasks. Managed to submit all within the last few minutes seh, haha, alhamdulillah. Perangai last minute habis! Buruk!

Then on Saturday morning, I attended the CLF at SMU. I was late, and pretty much lost, so I was so paiseh to enter initially. But then, what's the point of just sitting outside alone right?? So just braved myself and entered. They were still on the first speaker. He was a very good presenter! Mr Sunny Goh... Hmmm... Eventhough I was lost in the topic (I didn't go in the hope to understand anything anyway.... ), I felt that he managed to engage the audience well. I didn't really enjoy the second speaker. I dunno, I just find his presentation opinionated uhh... And his mimik2 muka tak penting eh. Maybe it's just me uh... I didn't get a feedback form to say that...

The discussion session was interesting. Open for 'debate' amongst the presenters, commentators and audience. About race vs class. About the media. And more uh. I felt out of place, the feeling of 'macam-paham'ness but since I told myself, "I'm here to be exposed to this, to observe..." and so, that's exactly what I was there to gain. I wish I can speak as well as them. 3 years to train myself to present better...

Afterwards, I walked around Bugis Junction to find a suitable present for Ad. I took a long time walking round and round. Some of the shops, I visited at least thrice la seh! I ended up buying three things for myself too. Yikes! My mum just told me not to spend unnecessarily these few months up to October to contribute abit to my eldest brother's wedding preparations. Uh oh. Felt so guilty for spending after that. But I needed the new wallet. My old wallet dah koyak rabak, zip pon dah tercabut. The air freshener thingy was a different matter though. Argh!!!

Then I rushed to pray, get murtabak, meet Jamie at Tampines, put the present together and travel to Changi Beach for Ad's birthday celebration....

Ad... I miss youuuuuu!!!!

We were there for a short while only, cos Ad had to rush back to her house for awhile to get the booking receipt for the pit and shelter, and since I had to go off anyway, I follwed her to Simei; Faj drove. Faj wore tudung already, so sweet! She's the 3rd friend I see started wearing tudung last year/this year. So anyway, when I parted with Ad at Simei, we hugged and I really felt like crying. I felt so so bad for having to leave early. I felt so so bad for not being there when she had the operation, or when she was facing life's challenges. She updated me about some things in the car, and I was like, "How I wish I could have been there... What a friend, I didn't even know..." Really, on the way to Simei mrt alone, I really felt like crying. I have truly neglected my family and friends. I dunno if what I'm practicing is the best for all, but yeah, I feel bad, I feel guilty.

I reached Masjid Kassim at 7 plus, just in time for Maghrib. After Maghrib, straightaway went for my duty for registration. Since I was handling registration, I entered the talk late. The talk was interesting, but... either I was too tired, or really, my heart needs some spiritual cleansing. It was hard for me to absorb what the lecturer was talking about. Maybe it's my perception that it would be a heavy topic which caused me hard to concentrate and make sense of it all. But I guess I managed to get the gist of it, especially with the follow-up by Ust Noor afterwards during dinner/supper. It makes me think and ponder, and gave me a headache as the topping on the ice-cream aka lack of sleep. InsyaAllah I'll attend all 8 talks. May Allah ease the path for me...

I reached home late. Argh! Dahlah weekdays duduk hostel, weekends pon sehari suntuk takde rumah, ish ish ish... But then, the time spent at home isn't quality time with the family anyways. I'll just be surfing the net. But then again, to come home so late, it just so... I dunno what's the right word... I guess, 'disrespectful'? Not that I'm very respectful of my parents to begin with, but hey, I'm trying.

Since I came home late, I woke up late the next morning! Ni seriously, bangun terkejut beruk nye. I woke up, saw the clock, and was like, "OHMYGOD! MAAAA!!!" Hahahaha. It was like 8.30, and I was supposed to relief a class at 8am!!!!! Crazy seh... Luckily, the main trainer for my class was still there. She didn't even know I was supposed to relief. Even the office didn't have my name on the list, anyway!!! Apparently I was supposed to replace another relief...

But yeah. The first class was like out of control seh. It was a sec 2 class. Very incooperative! But I let the main trainer just continue what she was doing uh. I had to conduct one of the activities, but only the start, cos after that the main trainer took over back. I felt redundant haha. But good experience of trying to control a class like that...

The next class was a good experience. Not without it's set of challenges of course. I had to relief with Kak Rabiah. Apparently she's a relief too, and so neither of us know where the students stopped and can't prepare much. When finally we got to figure out where the class stopped (from the students who came early/on time rather), we then found out that we couldn't open the slides. So I did a quick slide presentation according to the lesson plan. Copy paste seh! I managed to do halfway only. Continued again during break. And all in all, I did up a spontaneous slide presentation of 18 slides in that 2 and 1/2 hrs!

The topic was about physical care. But our focus was on beautiful soul. It was an interactive class. I loike! We talked about fairy tales, we read an article, we watched a video, we had group discussions, we had sharings, we had questions (dajjal semua keluar sehhh). Fun experience! The class was easier to handle. I only had trouble with one group who refused to discuss together throughout the whole class! I have a problem with quiet people. I dunno how to make them talk, seriously.

I'sd love to teach their class again :)))) But I can't commit uh... Especially since their class is at 11.30-2.30 and normally I'd have to attend my own class! Just that today has one week (or rather, one day) break.

Speaking of class... I think I I haven't been getting knowledge, I'd just been acquiring more and more information... I hadn't truly understood and applied those 'information' to life. Ish ish... I don't think I am a good representation of DPI students. Hish!

Need to be more humble. Need to remind myself that what I know is comparable to just a drop of water in the whole wide world. Maybe even less....

Ok, I should really get back to work. Spent more than 2 hours on this already. Aiyooooooo!

I wanna go out of Sg during the hols. Hopefully NEMC KRC falls on a holiday Sunday when I have no madrasah!!

I ate rice twice yesterday, at 3.30pm and at 8.30pm, and so I felt so full this morning that I only ate the small chips more packet and some other biscuits/sweets for breakfast and lunch.

And after that, I had rice for dinner after Maghrib, and I had fries at around 11pm plus, and mcspicy at around 1am gosh...

My eating diet is haywire! Not to mention my sleeping pattern too...

Tadi petang fever, first for this week, but now is quite ok already though my eyes sting from sleepiness!

Yet I'm determined to complete as much as possible before I go home.

I'm at SCBE with the FOC peeps. Yesterday we were here till about midnight and there were only 4 of us, and today we only started after 11 plus and right now there's 8 of us here!

Haha, we seriously see each other's face at least once every two days seh, betulnya ukhuwwah...

But seriously, I think I'm starting to smell. I bathed more than 12 hours ago! *tutup hidung*

I need a power nap soon. But I think I sleep buruk so macam tak senonoh kan depan dorang... Though yeah, they'd probably seen my worst during chalet and if not yet, then confirm by mock camp or the camp itself mesti nampak jugak, haha

"Harizah couldn’t imagine what kind of teacher I would be. But she mentioned I’d probably be like Prof Yan (whom the three of us like very much hehe) or Prof Tham (who teaches very well, and gives us cheese samples in class! tho we have to read alot ALOT for her class)…

Mahmudah immediately imagines me as a teacher who gets bullied by her students.

Sad story :("

This is what I wrote a few months ago.... I'm sure their perception of me has changed. Now they know how strict I can be when I want to. I wonder how my students will fare on days that I have PMS, I sure hope they'll be good angels then.

I'd been thinking alot.

Part of what I think about is the teaching profession. No doubt, I respect the teaching profession alot alot and find it a very fine and 'mulia' career path. The only thing I'm worried about is if I can be a good teacher. If I can, of course I'd continue to teach till it's time to retire. I can see the development in this profession and I would love to be part of that development process. One of the things I guess I can start developing from now is patience....

However, if I really can't be a good teacher, I'd better find something else to do after my 4-years bond. It's better that I don't torture myself and my students right... I should think that I'd love working in a lab. But I dunno. I'm partly trying to earn the affection of some of my lecturers so that I can learn more about the research work, though I guess I'm not putting so much effort.

Time is a factor. I already have commitments all around me, how could I commit to a research project while studying?! I'd go nuts! though yea, when else would it be a good time to be involved in a research project than when you're a student...

I'd been thinking of other things too...

I'm so happy to see Fityan having new members again. It feels like such a long time since we had a group of people join us. Alhamdulillah the orientation and ubin cip follow-up went well. Can't wait for the next event. I lookk at these people, and I convince myself that these are the new leaders that will lead Fityan to betterment, that will lead the youths of tomorrow towards betterment.... *excited!*

At the same time, I seem to feel so old and 'junkie' in Fityan. Hadn't been doing anything.... Really. I am grateful for their understanding on my workload and such...

I'm seeing a development process in NTUMS. I dunno. I can't decide what's best for me...

Other things that I'd beenn thinking aboout... is amanah and tanggungjawab.

For awhile, I felt like the whole world (ok that's exaggerating...) is on my shoulders... With ilmu comes responsibility. A heavy one at that... But recently I have found that maybe I am not strong enough for that amanah and tanggungjawab, and alhamdulillah, it has been transferred to others. I am currently on the receiving end, but of course, there is no such thing as 100% receipt, I as a DPI student still has a responsibility, the responsibility to share and dakwah and remind and applaud etc.

Ilmu itu bagai senjata yang boleh membahayakan diri. Ilmu boleh menjadi sebab seseorang itu masuk syurga, namun ia juga boleh menjadi sebab seseorang itu masuk neraka, nauzubillah min dzalik.

As I think about the things that have been happening around me, the more I think about what do they mean and where my role lies. I'd been plunged into NIE for one. And I begin to be more and more interested in the community, especially the youths, and where are we moving towards, especially through Kak Shahidah, TMSN, Fityan, Andalus etc. There's so many people who're concerned in this 'transformation' or 'development' of the youths in this generation to ensure that the next generation will be in a state better than how we are now. It's all interesting to hear and know. I'm helping here and there, contributing little energy where I can, yet I can't see where am I in the bigger picture. It'll take time. Maybe, my role is just to be aware and spread the awareness *shrugs*

Ok, my head hurts from thinking, cos I have alot of schoolwork to think about and I should really go to sleep... and I haven't done much progress in those schoolwork... Quite a number of things to start doing/finish this week. Chem report due on Thursday. ALS e-learning due end of the week. Main Group Chem test coming up soon. ICT group assignment due in slightly more than just a week. ALS resarch paper too (not to add madrasah metodologi proposal paper). Bio report due next Friday. What else? Can I not sleep for 3 days and get all of these done??? I wonder, hmm....

But yeah, my head really hurts right now from looking at the screen within a short distance for a very long time. Time to sleep!

I just thought I should jot this down before I forget...

I had a wonderful 21st!!!! I can't say thank you enough to express how grateful I feel to have these people around me :)

As I mentioned, I purposely removed the date from FB profiles. I haven't decided when to put it back. Tmr perhaps? Or end of the month maybe?

It's interesting to see who remembers... Eventhough it is not 100% representative of who cares, since my family themselves only messaged me in the late afternoon/night and yet I am very sure that they care larrrr, but yea it gives me a notion of... well.. who bothers...

I'm especially touched at the amount of effort my friends put into organizing wonderful celebrations for me! I never had such elaborate celebrations before that I can't help smiling so much today. I just feel so happy!!! I feel like I do not deserve such a wonderful treatment from them!

Harizah & Mahmudah spent weeks cracking over how to surprise me, finding the perfect presents, preparing the presents, preparing the surprise and such. They gave me a present on Monday and another on Tuesday and yet another one, along with a pizza & a cookie cake on my birthday! Really, I can really see how much effort they put into the presents and into the surprise (no matter how much Harizah kept slipping and releasing random info accidentally, she's so cute haha)... Really, I guess only the pics would show the effort... And I really love their presents for me! There's a grey cool shawl which can act like a cardigan & vest and I dunno what else - there's 8 ways to fashion it! They got it for me because they know how cold I can get in lectures, brrr.... My fats don't seem to be insulating me well, though yeah maybe the fats are going down a bit considering at how much lesser am I eating these days. I haven't even finished my dinner cum supper! They also made a photo collage in a shape of a butterfly of the pics we had taken together over the past few months we'd known each other. Pretty! And really, they're not easy to make seh! They also got me this zip-zip small bag to put my what-nots that I seem to dump into my bag hehe. And it even has my name on it! Cool! Inside the bag there's some foodstuff, as they know how little food I have in my hall (though not so little anymore after my shopping spree at NTUC last week! Heh) They really tried their best in finding what I need and what I'd like. They got it spot on, I love butterflies! And I really appreciate beautiful stuffs with "effort" literally drawn all over it! And the shawl is soooooooo nice, I really really can't imagine not loving it. Liyana Sukri saw it and instantly fell in love with it larh hehe...

The Bio peeps, eventhough they just found out about my birthday one day earlier, they took the effort to still surprise me. And I'm pretty sure they have another surprise up their sleeves hehe.

The FOC peeps were... HAHA! I love them larh... Poor Faizah aka Maria having to hunt the perfect present for me, and poor Mir too, for having to withstand "You're her roommates, how can you not know??!!" from Faizah haha! They had a cake, a card and even a present for me. Aww... These people are already like a family to me. Time flies, it's almost two months that we have been meeting up!

Amirah... she's so sweet larh! I didn't expect her to decorate our room in that short two hours she had before meeting just now so as to surprise me when we get back from meeting! And eventhough she have to be in Ang Mo Kio early early tmr morning, she accompanied me in opening my presents and listening to my stories. Awww, thank you Mir! And her attempt to find me something that I'd like bore it's fruits. I really like the book she got me ;)

Not to forget Khairiyah (lower sec closest friend), Siti (upper sec closest friend), Cindy (sec sch - the first to remember seh), Kenneth (sec sch), Ad (poly closest friend), Kak Raihanah (poly close friend), Fathi (Fityan closest friend), Jun (Fityan closest friend), Wawan (NI - I treat him like my lil bro), Fatimah (NI closest friend), Kak Fiza (NI), Auntie, Kak Ju who remembered! I am so touched. Especially those people like Cindy, Kenneth, Kak Fiza and Kak Ju whom I really didn't expect would remember :))))

In summary:

I'm so happy!!! :: unfinished tutorials :: Harizah's msg & call :: flower delivery :: 3rd/4th floor :: pizza & cookie cake for brunch :: freedom to suspense :: presents :: Mahmudah's demo :: flower pens :: Izzati & Shikin's wish :: song outside LT :: pronto speech :: paiseh :: Atiqah just finding out :: saw Arep writing card :: paiseh :: cake after Maghrib jemaah :: song & candles :: card-giving :: present :: first impressions :: perangai mafia :: dinner/supper :: perangai Marliyana: makan halfway halfway :: ayam goreng! :: balloons :: surprise in room :: present opening!!!

I am still awake. Padahal I only had about 2hrs of sleep last night hehe. But I took short naps today larh.

I keep doing my household chores that I don't have time to do my schoolwork, hish. But at least my environment now is neat and condusive. InsyaAllah I shall be able to work on my statement of topic and lab reports in peace after this...

I am motivated to study! Just that the inertia to hold the notes and start reading is really great.

I went to school in baju kurung just now. Haha, trying out something new... But I don't think I'd be wearing a baju kurung to school again soon. Cos, firstly paiseh ah receive the comments, and secondly cos I feel I can't handle it well, I almost got it all wet in the toilet while taking wudhu'! Not used to it I guess. Later later la eh baru seasonkan diri. My mum ask me to wear baju kurung when I start teaching in schools, to give the "I demand discipline from you" look that students would respect. But then, if I were to be so serembah serembih with it, alahai let's just stick to the casual la yar.

Harizah & Mahmudah are keeping their word to keep the suspense to the day. They gave me gift no. 1 today and insisted that I shouldn't open it yet. And according to them, I'll be receiving another one tomorrow (actually today, look at the time! 2.49am!), and the last one on wed then I can open all. Haha. But well, two can play the same game ;)

I had a bad start to the week, I guess. I limped to school, cos my achilles tendonitis returned this morning... My left ankle tendon is red now... But I'd eaten the painkiller pills and applied the gel. Hopefully it gets better tmr. I'm so tempted to go take mc, but aiyar it is so troublesome to find a clinic in the first place.

I shall have to skip silat again tmr cos of my tendon, and so I guess I can use the time for my schoolwork. Devote to it! Ade hikmah eh segala yang berlaku...

Aite, 8.30am class tmr!

*faints* I'm so super duper tired...

Monday, had FOC prog meet during break afterwhich went to Chem lab to collect results. After school, I forgot I had dinner date with the sahur comm, so rushed down to Hall 11 after Maghrib and had abs training during dinner. Kekek gila! We finished earlier than the previous time, cos everyone had to rush off. Myself, I was rushing back to do ALS. I ended up falling asleep on the floor halfway through reading the website given.

Tuesday, ALS at 8.30am. Managed to finish my work afterall. And we had a 400-word essay test. I hope I did fine... We ended 1hr earlier, GOOD. But we Bio students had to meet up with the Sub-dean to choose our AS1. I kinda have chosen Bio. Logically thinking arh, I'm trying to commit suicide if I choose Chem, logically. But they gave one day to make the decision, and I thought there wasn't any harm in asking some.. guidance. Ended school at 3.30pm. Prayed and stuff, and did lab report, then rush off to silat. After silat, I chatted with Mir, cos we're like too... I dunno. Just needed to talk I guess. That night I found myself crawling up onto the bed and without realising I fell asleep.

Wednesday, there was supposed to be GESL presentation at 10.30am, err... I kinda woke up at 10.25am heheh. So yeah, I skipped it, and so did 80% of my class anyway... I had duty to tend our GESL booth. Supposedly it's just an hour, but I just sat there for 2 hrs, doing a bit of my lab report. Oh, and the director and gang came by our booth and I had the honour of explaining our GESL project to them! They were impressed with our project! *beams* After duty, went to get my lab results signed, then while Harizah submitted my form for me (I took Bio as my AS1) I went to print some stuff with Mahmudah. After school, print some more stuff, then rush to buy dinner, then rush to FOC general meeting. After meeting, while the rest have dinner, I did my lab report (waiting for Mir...) We walked back to hall after that and I did my lab report in the room till around 3am yesterday and still didn't finish.

Today, is the most boring. Had 3hr lecture at 8.30am. Tried to do the lab report but it was impossible to multitask! So I just paid attention to the lec. Did my lab report after lec, with a short brunch in between, all the way till 7+pm. Woah... And my references were superbly badly done. But library was closing at 8pm, so no choice...

Currently am waiting for my dad to fetch me. Don't feel like sleeping in hall alone. Besides I need to bring home my camp bag and start packing for Fityan Orientation Camp (I'm a faci! I'm a faci! I'm a faci! -_-) and I'll be meeting Husni to buy shawls at Arab Street tmr morn anyway. We were supposed to go out today, but... haiz, a broken promise... I was super excited to get myself new shawls.

I'm like stoning as I type this. I don't even know why am I typing this. I should be starting on my other two lab reports.

So easily distracted...

I experienced sleep paralysis last Sunday at home and once again on Tuesday when I took a nap during lec break (of which I dreamt I was scubadiving lol!) I must be very very tired to be experiencing them again. I don't like it.

Oh, and I had very bad PMS this time around. The worst I think. I think all the stress around me is making it worst. I snapped during prog meet on Monday (but it was just snapping my fingers in front of them to get their attention uh) and I snapped at Amirah during lunch on Tuesday, cos she was asking why don't I eat vegetables, and I just got so irritated that when she asked us to try her plasticy (her words, not mine)vegetarian meet, I gave a very sarcastic remark. And thrice I ate vegetarian food this week, cos I'm in a rush, and I dunno, I just feel like punishing myself. But the vegetarian pineapple rice with mock char siew meat and hashbrown are nice ar actually. And cheap too! And the queue is short too! Haha

But yalarh, cramps were bad.... Started 3-4 days before time seh. There were times I just feel like curling up. The worst sehh...

Ok, 9.06pm. My dad gonna reach in about 20mins time. I'm starving actually. And sleepy.

2 more LAB REPORTS!!!

Celebrating Mai's 20th tmr after Chem...

I try to forget I'm turning 21, but I can't. I'm amazed at how people can forget it's their birthday... Seriously.

Eww, I smell vomit. My stomach is close to empty, don't make me vomit too seh...

Do you miss friendster? It looks very much different from how it used to look like the last time I went in haha. What I miss about friendster most is the comments page. And it is interesting to read it back...

I think I have changed alot over the span of 3-4 years. The most noticeable trait I used to have that I no longer have is: being quiet. 10 people, all the way from sec sch to poly commented that I was a veryyy quiet person. Gosh, what telah happen to me?? I'm such a noisy tank now! Confidence boost? Or influence from the people around? I wonder how many people who know me now would ay they still find me quiet...

Abû Hurayrah relates that Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said: “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak a good word or remain silent. And whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should show hospitality to his neighbor. And whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should show hospitality to his guest.” [ Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim ]

Another trait I no longer seem to have is the ability to smile all the time. Nowadays my forehead seems to be stitched into a frown all the time. Friends say I look stressed all the time, such that it is rare to see me smile anyway :(

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "Charity is prescribed for each descendant of Adam every day the sun rises." He was then asked: "From what do we give charity every day?" The Prophet answered: "The doors of goodness are many...enjoining good, forbidding evil, removing harm from the road, listening to the deaf, leading the blind, guiding one to the object of his need, hurrying with the strength of one's legs to one in sorrow who is asking for help, and supporting the feeble with the strength of one's arms--all of these are charity prescribed for you." He also said: "Your smile for your brother is charity." - Fiqh-us-Sunnah, Volume 3, Number 98

Those that say I'm quiet... hahaha

Mohksin12/28/2006 9:05 pm
(= thx for the testimonial.didnt xpect it frm u.baru jgk kenal kn=) ive seen this sister ard jgk @ ghufran,but nvr really communicated.first impression, shes a VERY quiet girl!haha n i still think she is.jgn sangka pendiam itu satu kelemahan!She went thru EVERYTHING @ KRC!some of it r quite challengin n TABIK SPRING la u get to go thru it all!alhamdulillah!rase nye tk boleh comment byk sgt sbb tk kenal lg kott(= may Allah b ur source of guidance. teruskan perjuangan tersendiri di TP ya!rasenye semua org ada cara masing2 nk menegakkan Islam dan cara marliyana lain siket.tapi sekirenya nk mencarik adek bradek seperjuangan di TP,boleh la carik Nur Ikhwan.pasti mereka menerima dgn tangan terbuka=) Smoga Allah membimbing setiap langkah Marliyana.perjuangan ni tak mudah.kdg2 kita jatoh tp yg penting kita bgn semula dan terus lawan.jgn putus asa ya!Allah tak janjikn perjalanan yg mudah tp Allah janjikn perjalan penuh dgn hikmah=) ur brothers n sisters @ fityan will always b there 2 support u!

MiSsy BLur04/22/2005 7:06 pm
harlow, thankz 4 writing my testi for me.I
am writin back for u a testi .........i knoe
this ger from my cca lor......... first
impression of her is tat she is a shy &
quiet ger lor .........she is a sweet and
helpful ger she helps mi alot in my cca .
she teaches mi alot...... thankz her.....
she is a ger that i will remember coz
she bring mi joy and have a lovley smile
she makes mi laugh too....... she is a
smart and cute gal .........i am veri glad
to have u as my friend...... hope u dun 4
get mi hor.......... tat's all....byez!!!!!

Xx iLLaLARH xX09/09/2004 6:06 pm
hey0... thnx for the testi...
As f0r u my l0vely cousin: yaNa nye
orAng, swEEt and caring. kadang2
diam abEy tu oLang buAl, diE tuMpaNg
kEtAwEr...! hehe!! FrienDly oso... Yana,
sTudioUs, seLalu nGn buku!! Hehe!
MacaM kakAk duLu tetApi YanA leBih
PanDAi laa!! ~hAhA~ Kz>>> anyH0w,
tAke carE, stAy smI|Ing and StuDy
SmArT not StuDy H@rD!!

fatinizzah09/08/2004 8:11 pm
Hey Marl! thanks for the testi. and me?!
stuck-up?! hehe. yeah. this girl's nice.
she's very sweet.
so jealous. Hmmpph. A bit quiet tho.
We're not that close. Sumtimes when
I'm with her, i hardly know what to say.
Hehe. But hope that will change over the
years that we've been friends!. =D

Daphne07/02/2004 2:42 am
heyz!!'ssup..tis gurl here has been in
e same class as me since sec1..bt too
bad gt separated..well,marl is sucha
sweet gurl..always so helpful..she has
a aweet smile..and yeah,she's really
quiet sumtimes..(compared to me)..hahaz..well,take care..till e
next one..tata~ ^^
-hUggiez-

aSRi03/15/2004 11:30 pm
Helloz!! Haha. This girl is so quiet.
I just can't stand it seeing her so
darn quiet. But she's really fun to be
with if ya get to know her better.
She's just the girl-next-door kinda
girl. She's just very down-to-earth.
That's all I can say bout this sweet
girl. Stay positive Marl!

peiling12/29/2003 5:21 pm
aloha marilyana suprised hor i add u
testimonials cuz i nth to do so write a
testimonials for yew okay back to the
point she is veri quiet but she has a
nice smile and she veri cute
lolx..although i nt quite noe her but
she is a nice fren okay i will hv to
stop here buai buai...


syidaH12/14/2003 6:51 pm
helo marLl!! hahaKz.. dis girl.. she's
very quieT!! *whicH at times i just
caNt stand it cOz im one hell of a
loud and 4eva toKing person* (hehe)..
marL is very nice.. she has goT a very
good personaLity.. she's sweeT and
always haF got dis loveLy smile on
her.. sHe's very cLever!! *tsK.. no
fair* tHo she's quieT, she's
outgoing.. can toK to her ezly.. sHe
jokes round and everyTing.. very goOd
person.. :D

Hanamariya12/06/2003 11:47 pm
eyy marliyana! from wat i noe of her,
she's kinda quiet, soft-spoken and
juz.. i dunno.. so gentle!!! i dunno
how u can stand to be so patient(or
issit bcos i dunno u well? hmm..)
okok marl is one girl
u've gotta noe! if u want a patient
understanding great to talk to and
gentle wife/fren/gf. hehe cyaz!

shida12/05/2003 7:13 pm
Hello Marliyana. HmM~ We don't usually
talk much aRh` She's the quiet quite
type.. And I am the noisy noisy type.
HehHe` YarR~ She's sweet and adorable.
Very nice to talk to and friendly. =)
I don't really know her because we're
not really close. But I believe that
she's one smart girl~ Uh-huh! Very
clever. YaRr~ That is all I have got
to say about this sweet, nice,
adorable, cute, quiet, friendly, smart
lad. BuBbyE` Hope our friendship may
bloom like a flower~ Whee!



Smileeeeeeee

DihaNA01/02/2005 4:51 pm
hello.......sis...=)...emm....besh...besh...
akak da dapat contact nana guner f'ster
.....dis is my lovely cousin in s'pore......
kalo balik saner akak suker nak borak2
ngan nana....cumer jumper x jumper
jelarr...so, how's ur study?? study hard
yer....dis gurl mmg cute....like her sweet
face very much....akak suker tgk muker
nana time nana senyum...sweet sgt....
pasal pastport pun akak x sure...mak
mcm da malas nak bawak akak n didi
balik saner lagi...tp, insy...kalo ader
peluang akak mestilar nak balik saner....
kiter kan jarang jumper..nanti lepas nie,
biler jumper jer mesti nana da besar....=)
maybe da 18/19......hehehe....
klar...nana...study rajin2.....n jangan
luper akak kat sinie.......=)

Yan Shan10/16/2004 9:59 pm
Heyoz! Thnx 4 writin me a testi.. ^_^
Hmm.. wad i know about you is actually
quite little.. Thru the book club one.. but i
can tell she's very friendly, always
saying hi to me or waving me hi.. ^_^
Wel.. i also think she very cheerful one,
always her smile is there.. =D And very
helpful too, from wad i see.. O_O haha..
hope that you'll remain cheerful 4eva
and bring sunshine to everyone who
have the luck to meet u! Gd Luckz! ^_^

fierce???

iyliana12/03/2004 11:05 am
hey, grl!~ thanks for the testi. yeah? tis
grl, short but is sooo hard to bully.
hahahkz. she speaks out wadeva is in
her mind... a very sweet person.. i bet
she've got loads of friends now ;)

she's been so busy with school then got
no time with the ol' peeps... aiyoh... well,
okie grl... take care ks? next yr must jln
raye tau!!! love u! :)

Jeh Ni03/14/2004 1:43 pm
Hi :) Remember me? Known this girl...
since primary 3 back in TNPS... about
7 years ago already :) A very nice and
friendly person... can make u feel
very comfortable to be around with.
Can be very crazy sometimes also. A
very cheerful girl... rarely c her
angry 1. She knoes how to comfort pple
when they r sad... then later in the
end can get that person to cry because
she laughed 2 much :) Also just want
to let u knoe that i never regretted
having u as a friend. Although last
time not very close... because i think
u very fierce then i dun dare to talk
to u often :) Stay cool alwaes... take
care of yourself and drink more water.
C ya and keep in touch. Friends
forever, forever friends :)



Other comments

ShImA09/25/2007 1:08 am
Hi dearest Marliyana, hope you have had your beautiful rest....it was really fun working with you....very patient indeed...subhanallah....i really dunno how you had all the strength to stay throughout those nights thinking of the programs...subhanallah...really love working with you my dear.....hope you forgive me if i said something wrong or if i "tortured" you...hehe....take care k and keep in touch....muacks!...

Cherylene09/29/2005 11:18 am
Hellozzz! Juz dropping by to write u a testi!

Umm...During upper pri, She is in the class nxt to mine...In sec 1 and 2, she is aso in the nxt class...In sec 3 and 4, She is once again in the nxt class...haha...So I nv really had the chance to be in the same class as Marliyana...But I got to know her better thru our cca...

She is a really cute, friendly and bubbly gal who wld nv hesitate to lend u a helping hand...She is aso a nice person to talk to and wld give good advices....

Thanks for being such a great fren, Marliyana! All the best to ur O levels and may u stay in the pink of health alwayz...Tak care...(",)

MiNsI05/26/2005 11:46 pm
super niceeeeeeeeeeeee frien.. been
sittin bside her ever since we moved 2 e
MI room.. n tt's when i noe her better..

Marl is someone who alwaz makes
others feel impt.. she establishes e
class blog lor.. so enthu.. thnx 4 tt.. i
guess our class is much united now..

Don worry bout ur results lerh.. StRiVe
HaRdEr kk?? All e BEZ 4va...

B4 i go, thnx 4 ur cookies........... man,
they taste so nice... guess i will nvr b
able 2 bake them...

Zhi Xin11/01/2004 3:42 pm
Hello.....supermario~~haha.........that is
what i call her.She is a hardworking girl
everytime group work she and the
others(girls) doing the homeworks
assigned to us while i and marcus
slacking......even after the exams she
also learn the Arabs kinds of
things....hai~~~
anyway, happy holidays

-ZhiYu-08/31/2004 9:55 pm
thx 4 ur testi,now i return u the
favour.marliyana..my senior..she veri
helpful tt why mdm liang put her wiv
me so tt she can help me...she veri
sweet n beautiful young lady..takes
gd care of her juniors..though i duno
her tt well can see from the way she
does the library work,veri
responsible..veri sporting too,seen
her dressed up in racial harmony
clothings n oso for the retro
thingy.should haf been a gd example
4 ur class oso for the sec1s.. best
wishes 2 u in both studies n cca..bye..

shairah08/20/2004 11:28 pm
a sweeet, patient gurl who lurrvees cats...she's
just like me!! (jking! but seriously, the
similarities are freaky!) met marliyana
during sec 1 but got to noe her better
during eldds meetings...can confirm dat
she's soooo sweet and lembut, she
makes everyone looks bad! anywae to
my fellow-cat-fanatic, thanks for my
testi! c ya sooooon~

I miss my old me...

I feel that after reading Twilight, my conversations in English are better thought-out, better pronounced and more fluent. Of course it still depends on the topic of conversation... If you throw in a topic about in-vitro fertilization (err, where did that come from??) I'd probably have not much to say hehe.

I think I use the phrase "I feel that..." more than "I think...". Not using my brains as much as before huh? I used to think alot, about 1001 things at the same time if that's possible. I guess I've learned to chill and stone out. Haha.

I'd been wondering lately, what are my strengths? I think I'd know what the answer would be if I asked some of the people around me. It seems distinct, but then I don't find that a special talent, and neither do I think I'm very good at it. I just enjoy it, not that I'm good at it. It's two different things you know. It all depends on who you work with... Sometimes I feel that it's a case of "lembu punyer susu, sapi dapat nama", whereby I am the sapi. (haha reminds me of the Fityan IO cheer: "Sappy go!" lol)

Well you see...
I have a friend, her name is Jamie and she is very good in piano.
I have a friend, her name is Ad and she is very good with the bass.
I have a friend, her name is Liyana and she is very good with reciting the Qur'an.
I have a friend, her name is Sylvia and she is very good with writing and drawing.
I have a friend, her name is Jun and she is very good in silat and designing.
I have a friend, her name is Raudah and she is very good with photography and designing.
I have many friends, of different backgrounds, and they are all special in many ways, and they have strengths of their own, certain skills that are special...

Myself? I've tried many things. You can see that from the list of different CCAs I'd tried. Malay dance. Indian dance. Chinese dance. Swimming. Maths club. Library club. English drama (and debate). Malay drama. Silat. I'd even tried keyboard (piano) and designing and writing and drawing and origami and beads and cross-stitching and fashion designing and God-knows what else... Like hellooooo, I'm nearly 21 and still searching :S

I got B3 for all my O level subjects right (except one) and Jamie complimented that that means I am fairly equal in doing fine with anything. Hmm... Maybe that's why I can do alot of things (some with greater difficulty than others) and nothing truky stands out.

Jack of all trades? (What's female for Jack anyway? hmm)

Anyway, I've finished downloading all 65 songs from youtube to my comp, but only around 10 fits into my MP4 haha.

I can't wait to start snapping pictures again! I love taking pictures of sceneries best :))))

Nothing splendid... I never know about focusing, about details, about lightings, about subjects whatever other photography terms are there larh... I only know of the macro function recently la sey :P But still...





I'm missing alot of people and things actually. Especially after browsing through my slides. Awwwww.... Kejam kelip, one of my previous usrah sister is getting married soon!!

Slides

K I'm hungryyyyyy... Need to grab something before going for FLAP laterrrrz

I am surprised to find my long-lost bestfriend again and... she's changed. She's so different, in a negative way :(

It hurts you to see, to witness and to not know what to do....

Crystallize your goals. Make a plan for achieving them and set yourself a deadline. Then, with supreme confidence, determination and disregard for obstacles and other people's criticisms, carry out your plan. -Paul Meyer

Next step, now that I have my Vision Board, it's time to chart my path towards it :D

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I must be crazy, I took up important roles in 3 camps (ok, really important roles for 2 of them of which both are happening within one week difference!)... To add to that, I think my fellow programmer is just as crazy, she too is currently handling 3 events, not to mention school, tuitions and madrasah. At least I only have madrasah left now hehe.

Crazy as it it, I like it (most of the time) as I see the meaning behind it (mostly, kadang tu terlupa jugak niat, biasalah manusia... tu sebab selalu perlukan tazkirah)...

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Celebrated 3 brothers' 24th birthday last night. There were a total of 18 of us. 9 sisters. 9 brothers. It was a happy night, and certainly the warmth of the friendship seemed to radiate everywhere. Especially since most of them were actually from the same NI exco batch 3-4 years ago. It was so nice to see the ukhuwwah going strong even through the years.

And it made me wonder... How would my batch be like 3-4 years down the road.. Would we still contribute to NI, as the current alumNI are more than willing to do to our batch? Would we even still be together?

And where would we be? What would we be doing? As I hear most of the brothers and sisters sharing how they're pursuing their studies (even overseas), I wonder if my path would be similar: to work first, earn $$$ and then go back to school to pursue my own set of dreams.

I shall tawakkal to Allah... Plus doa. I've accomplished the Usaha and Ikhtiar part and there's not much more I can do but wait, and wait, and wait somemore...

Where will I be, what would I be doing 3 months from now, a year from now, 3 years from now, 5 years from now, 10 years from now, 30 years from now and so on! That is, if I live long enough to see the sun these years from noe...

Recently I was reminded of the car accident I got into last November. Many things could have happened then. and no doubt, many things can happen anytime.

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Happy belated/advanced 24th birthday Brothers Imran, Mohksin and Asrul! May Allah bless you with meaningful lives and to all of you, may you find what each of you are seeking for soon. Wherever you will be, whatever you'll be doing in the times to come, remember us and the ukhuwwah that binds us together.

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I am very grateful to Allah for what He has put me through and for where He has placed me now. I certainly feel blessed with the life I'm leading and with the friendships and all other blessings I'm showered with.

I love you oh Allah.

Happy lovely 20th Ad dear... Hope you enjoyed the day today, that was what we set out for =)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So yeah, celebrated Ad's birthday at Minds cafe (Safra Tampines) this afternoon. We'd been eyeing to go that place and finally we did and we enjoyed it loads =D

I looked for a cake yesterday evening. An elmo one to be specific. And there were none... =( Polar takes orders for elmo cake, but I was too late and the salesperson said if I ordered a cake, it wouldn't be ready by 2pm the next day. Surprisingly when I went past Polar again today, there was one with an elmo!! Woohoo! Ad, you are one lucky gal I tell you...

Anyway, Minds Cafe was great. There's so many games!! I loike ;D And it's only $5 for freeflow drinks and 4hrs (2pm-6pm) of games. Cool.. We played Jurassic Jumble, Uglydoll, First Hand, Express It Guess It and my all-time favourite Taboo, the Singapore version!

To my drama peeps, you guys should own the Express It Guess It game man... Or maybe spend some fun time to make one together? Add in the challenge, do it in Malay ;P

And to everyone else, if you've yet to play Taboo, it's time you try... Yea, your first time may be nerve-wrecking like crazy, but I'm pretty sure you'll enjoy it. I was nuts at it the first time I played it with Fityan peeps, but I was absolutely calm playing it with my clique today. To the Fityan peeps, I think you guys intimidate me too much lol.

Oh and then Ad received good news from MDIS. So happy for her!! As for myself, I talked to my dad again and he said no, if no NUS/NTU, then work. I dunno, I guess I'd heed that. I have a teeny weeny hope I'd get to enter NTU. If that doesn't work out, I'll move on to find a permanent day job and then I'd probably go head-on and sign up for the October or November MDIS intake...

Yesterday I received a letter from MOE. My last choice in NTU was Education: Science. The letter asks me to submit the relevant docs by 30th March, otherwise they won't process my application. I dunno... Should I just send in? I don't want to waste their time. I believe in a teacher's job, how meaningful it is and all, and I know why I would want to be a teacher. I just lack a whole lot of confidence to take it up. I can't imagine myself standing infront of a class of 30 teaching, even if I can so imagine myself working in a school environment. I dunno...

Oh, I found a job as a laboratory officer in the forensic department, HSA. I'm so tempted to sign up for it!!! But I guess I gotta wait...

Hui Yi received a call from NTU to come down for an interview. I didn't/haven't. Neither have I received my transcript!! Ad and Jamie have... =(

Oh, and Begum just told me good news she received. Y'know, it's really nice to hear people's good news.

Just, I wish I had a good news to share about myself too. I hope one is waiting for me soon enough.

Dengan Nama Allah yang Maha Pengasih, Maha Penyayang.

Teman yang baik adalah anugerah yang tidak ternilai daripada Allah. Teman yang baik penunjuk jalan, penguat langkah dan azam, pendamping yang akan selalu mengingatkan untuk bersungguh-sungguh berusaha membuat bekal negeri abadi. Manusia yang lemah seperti kita tentunya memerlukan teman, untuk berkongsi suka dan duka, untuk mengingatkan kala terleka, untuk menemani kala beramal ibadat agar lebih bersungguh-sungguh, demi bersama meraih syurgaNya. Seorang Nabi Allah, Nabi Musa AS pun memerlukan teman lantas baginda berdoa kepada Allah agar mengurniakan teman penguat langkah, teman ke syurga.

"Dan jadikanlah untukku seorang pembantu dari keluargaku, iaitu (Harun), saudaraku, teguhkanlah kekuatanku dengan (adanya) dia, dan jadikanlah dia teman dalam urusanku, agar kami banyak bertasbih kepadaMu, dan banyak mengingatiMu, sesungguhnya Allah Maha Melihat Keadaan kami" (20:29-35)

Kisah Nabi Musa memohon teman dari Allah untuk membantu menguatkannya membuktikan betapa kita sebagai manusia sangat memerlukan teman untuk menemani dalam urusan hidup seharian dan juga untuk sama-sama beribadat kepada Allah. Bukankah seorang anak Adam itu akan lebih bersungguh-sungguh mengejar redhaNya dan meningkatkan segala amal apabila mempunyai teman yang seiring dan sejalan?

Saidina Umar mengatakan, "Tiada satu kebaikan pun yang dianugerahkan kepada seorang hamba sesudah Islam, selain saudaranya yang soleh. Apabila seseorang di antara kamu merasakan sentuhan kasih sayang dari saudaranya, maka hendaklah ia berpegang kepadanya" Malah, Saidina Umar meminta kita 'berpegang kepadanya', iaitu bermakna tidak melepaskan dan menghargai teman tersebut kerana kita sebenarnya dianugerahkan kebaikan yang sangat besar apabila dikurniakan teman yang soleh.

Namun, berusahakah kita untuk menjadi teman ke syurga kala mencari teman ke syurga? Jadikah kita sahabat yang baik yang sentiasa mengajak teman kita kepada kebaikan, yang sentiasa mengingatkan teman kita akan janji-janji Allah, yang menunjukkan kepada teman kita qudwah yang baik? MENJADI TEMAN KE SYURGA Menjadi teman ke syurga dan mencari teman ke syurga, segalanya hanya berlaku apabila asasnya didasari taqwa yang kuat. Taqwa kepada Allah dengan sebenar-benar taqwa, dengan ketaqwaan yang layak bagiNya.

"Hai orang-orang yang beriman, bertaqwalah kepada Allah dengan sebenar-benar taqwa kepadaNya" (3:102)

Ayat ini mengisyaratkan kepada kita untuk membiarkan hati kita berusaha keras mencapai taqwa menurut batas kemampuan yang ada pada dirinya. Setiap kali ia mendekat kepada Allah dengan ketaqwaan maka akan terbukalah hatinya untuk berusaha mencapai kedudukan yang lebih tinggi dari apa yang telah dicapainya, dan merindukan darjat yang ada di atas apa yang telah diraihnya lalu selalu memandang ke arah kedudukan yang lebih tinggi lagi.

Muhammad Ahmad Rasyid mengatakan "ketinggian itu hanya boleh diraih dengan kelelahan", memberitahu kepada kita bahawa kita perlu berusaha bersungguh-sungguh utk mendapat darjat ketinggian taqwa di sisi Allah. Apa kaitan taqwa dan teman ke syurga? Taqwa dalam diri sahaja yang akan mendorong seseorang mencari teman ke syurga, menemaninya dalam kehidupan siang harinya, mendampinginya dalam ibadah malamnya. Dan seseorang yang benar-benar meletakkan taqwanya kepada Allah sahaja akan bersungguh-sungguh (sehingga kelelahan tetapi) terus ingin meningkatkan darjatnya di sisi Allah dan dia benar-benar memerlukan teman untuk menguatkan urusan siang dan malamnya, sebagai hamba, dan khalifah. Ciri taqwa ini akan menjadikan dirinya sendiri adalah seorang teman ke syurga, lantas dia layak untuk mendapat teman ke syurga yang hanya didapati melalui anugerah dari Allah. Teman yang akan sentiasa mengingatkan, tatkala kelelahan, akan janji yang menjadi asas perhubungan ini, asasnya hanya kerana Allah, lantas itu kita menjadi "menjadi teman ke syurga".



Kita bertemu atas kesungguhan dan ikrar kita pada jalan Allah, dan perpisahan kita pun hanyalah kerana Allah juga kerana walau apapun matlamat kita hanya satu, meraih syurgaNya. "Didiklah diri kamu kepada cinta pada Allah, bermula pada diri kamu. Tingkatkan penghayatan diri kamu pada cinta pada Allah, berusaha membaiki dan meningkatkan diri kamu menjadi hamba Allah yang lebih taat, nescaya kamu akan menjadi teman ke syurga dan Allah akan mengurniakanmu teman ke syurga."

Marilah sejenak kita mengambil pengajaran dari Hadith Qudsi, dari Allah, Pencipta dan Pemilik kasih sayang dan cinta, yang menitipkan kasih sayang antara hati-hati, yang mengekalkan ikatan antaranya, yang memperteguhkan janji ikrar mereka untuk menjadi 'teman ke syurga', mencari redhaNya yang Esa, Pemberi Segalanya, Allah Yang Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang. "CintaKu mesti bagi orang-orang yang saling mencintai kerana Aku, CintaKu mesti bagi orang-orang yang saling bersilaturahim kerana Aku, CintaKu mesti mesti bagi orang yang saling menasihati kerana AKu, CintaKu mesti bagi orang-orang yang saling mengunjungi kerana Aku, CintaKu mesti bagi orang-orang yang saling memberi kerana Aku" (Hadith Qudsi) Lihatlah betapa Allah menjanjikan cintaNya yang Maha Agung kepada "teman ke syurga". Besarnya kemuliaan Allah janjikan kepada mereka yang mendasari perhubungan kerana sama-sama mahu mengejar redhaNya, menjadi teman ke syurga lantas dikurniakan teman ke syurga.

Ayuh, perbaiki diri !

*Artikel dipetik dari http://wardatul-izzah.blogspot.com/2008/11/mencari-teman-ke-syurga.html

Many many people I was missing these few days!

Finally met up with NI/NYPMSN usrah sisters for dinner together yesterday! Kak Fiza, Kak Hawanis, Kak Mardhiah, Kak Saqinah, Kak Ruqayyah, Kak Sarah, Liyana, Nyzah and... Raihan!! Time waiting at Darul Arqam, met Kak Huda and Kak Aziah from saff too! And I'd been told insyaAllah usrah for Kak Huda's group will begin again next Friday, woo hoo~

Oh then just now during NI comm retreat, finally met Fatimah, Begum, Aisyah again!! So nice seeing y'all again tauu.. Raihan, Liyana, Kak Maryam, Kak Saqinah were there too! Brothers pon ramai dah lama tak jumpa. Gerek ah retreat...

Oh, I met around a total of 5-6 Temasekians yesterday and today, teringat zaman sec sch la gitu! Nostalgic ;) I remember those stock takings we do during holidays as comm librarians (don't look down on us ar, librarians oso have comm okeh!) and those farewells with games and bbq.. and and book club! Which didn't actually work out lol. And not forgetting ELDDS too. Orientation times... Sadako... Footsteps around the school etc. Oh at at this time of the year, it's the time of the sec 1 orientation. I remember my investiture ;) Maybe NI/Fityan should have our own investiture after our respective orientations ehk?

Had campus discussion this morning, meaning I got to meet my course mates again!!! Ad, Jamie, Chloe, Shakina, Yuva, Kayathree all luh! But never to fail to meet my 4-months fellow TLL attachments. I think Hui Yi, Aaron, JJ and I bonded really well. :)

After campus discussion, I had the opportunity to meet Titisan for a short wee while too! Aww, miss you darlings!! But when Fifi reminded the juniors, "Know who's this or not? she was my ASGH last batch!", I can't help remembering how little I contributed to my batch's development. Then, I was neither good in drama skills nor organisational skills, opps~

And tmr I shall be meeting Raudah and Liyana for breakfast, whee~

I'm really looking forward to 2009. It's like so indefinite right now, like a sense of mystery like that ah hehe. I don't have to look so far, in just 6-7months, I wonder where would I be...

It just crossed my mind today. Haha. Know why? Cos I kept 'talking to myself' in my head practically 24/7! But I'm not talkative. I'm just... thinkative haha. In other words: INTROVERT. And proud to be one!

I met a fair share of talkative people the past few days. Talk and talk and talk non-stop. Sometimes I find it too noisy and irritating.

I just love talking to myself. And because of that, I love to blog! There's so many things I wanna share since the last post but I dunno where to start! Hmm, let's do a list of FAQs haha!

FAQ 1: How are you?
ans 1: Alhamdulillah, praise to allah I'm still alive. And yes, I can walk normally again already. And my bruises are lightening. It's rather scary to see a big patch of blue flesh, then yellow flesh haha. Muscle strains... On and off. The wound which had been hurting the most, was actually just healing till this morning! On Friday after the nurse cleaned the wound and bandaged it nicely, I felt really comfortable and almost like no pain at all! But after I changed myself (or asked my mum to assist in changing it), okok uh, uncomfortable. I think I put too tight or something. This morning, someone go and bang into my arm, like OWW oww OWW. Till now can like feel the sting. And the pain reaches the bones. Feels like I just knocked my elbow on a rock. The pain actually goes all the way up to my left shoulderblade la sey. I think cos too tensed with trying to control the pain. Oh well.

And I just noticed, how come there's so many white cars huh?? I can't really say it's trauma or the after-shock and whatnots, cos I don't really know what is it. But I can't help taking notice of every single white car in my way!

Yesterday I left TLL late and I had to wait for the shuttle bus for about 15-20mins. Meaning I had to watch so many cars pass by (some sprint by) in front of me at the scene of accident. Erm... Ok. And I almost cry. Though I think it's more because of impatience than of fear haha. And I keep hearing a car approaching. Though I think it's because I was listening hard for the bus screeches!

For 2 days, I had my lunch at TLL. Lazy to go out, rain, don't want to wait for bus, short incubation time are just some of the reasons why. I can't really decide if the accident is another reason. But I did tell myself I'm like NEVER gonna have lunch at Science sch anymore for the remaining SIP days = 10 weeks. It takes too much time to go so far, and I don't wanna rush rush anymore, which could result in another stupid decision like crossing across the road infront of a gigantic bus at a narrow bend. Real stupid thing to do. REALLY STUPID you know.

FAQ 2: How's SIP?
ans 2: Ok. Coping. Out of 5, maybe like only 2 days I go home at 6. Heck. Hectic. So many things to do. Especially yesterday. I had to continue almost everything I was doing last Wednesday and cos my mentor continued a bit for me, I had to figure out where she stopped so I can continue from there. Quite confusing. Aiyo. And I've got so many vials of flies collected already! And because it's Monday, I have to transfer EVERYTHING to new vials with new yeast paste etc. Not as easy as it sounds ok. And also because it's Monday, most of the puppae has developed into flies! Meaning I have to filter through like hundreds of flies to collect the crosses I want.

Anyway, I'm putting quite a lot of things I've learned together to get the bigger picture, especially with restriction digestion, about the enzymes (what buffer to use, what temperature to set reaction at, how compatible etc), about how to know whether it's cutting or not, about digest set-up the reactions (as in how much of each reagent to use, what temperature, how long, whether to add SAP or not, whether to make blunt end or not etc) yea... And pcr, and sequencing too. I love practicals! I love lab work! EXCEPT the part where I need to write report. I don't mind doing these minor minor SIP stuff, which sometimes are the cause of me going home late, and recording them down. I love it! It's the MP that rather sucks.

FAQ 3: How about MP?
ans 3: Well, partly not so well. This week is my fourth try at the same experiment I've been doing! No results or insuffient results the past 3 weeks! So sian know! I've still yet to start my MP workbook, *gulps* What more my MP report! *cries* Anyway, is anyone willing to help me copy back all my experiments, under confidential agreement (I'm serious, I'll make you sign a letter of agreement), into my MP workbook X2 (one copy for school, another for my mentor) for $10? Really, really I'm serious. Criteria: Handwriting like mine, can write fast and free on Saturdays haha. No I don't think this is an offense, right? I'm really tired of writing. And all ideas for the workbook, aim, materials, method, results, discussion ALL will be by me. I just need someone to help me write!!! And it's not bribing la, it's a little token of appreciation for the help.

Oh anyway, my mentor has really high expectations of me. She's trusted me with TWO of HER projects know. and I've disappointed her time and time again. Haiz... But trust me, I give all my best for everything. But I dunno, despite knowing I'd given my best, I still feel disappointed with myself and guilty sometimes.

FAQ 4: How's social life?
ans 4: Sad :( I hadn't met my NI, Fityan and Titisan peeps *sniff sniff* And almost all have no idea how I am either, cos I can't be bothered to contact them, to ask how's things, to update on myself, to listen etc. Socialising can be tiring, especially for an introvert like me. I've got many different worlds to visit you know.. Haha just kidding, I'm not crazy la deyy.

But I gotta say I'm so glad for the friends I have at TLL! Especially Hui Yi, JJ and Aaron. They make SIP/MP all the more fun/bearable (respectively). Sometimes I just go up to them and make funny faces to destress haha. Funny faces like silently screaming under all the instructions my mentor asks me to do. It helps y'know.

Oh, that's all people frequently ask these days.

Now on to random stuff!

Hmm... Like what eh? Forgot.

OH! I think I'm gonna do something on the last day of SIP. I'm gonna go crazy on my mentor HAHA. I mean all these while I just nod nod and say "ok", "yes understood", "alright", "can" to her know. I think on the last day I'll go wild! Whee! I hope she'd be surprised. Hehehee. Gosh, I'm thinking of these stuffs know...

I might be meeting Fityan peeps this Thursday and Sunday and Titisan peeps perhaps tmr and Friday. Oh no, NI usrah on Friday! Erm, alamak, I forgot! Geez... NI dearies sisters, can we meet up on Saturday pwease?
I'm free the WHOLE of Saturday.

Apart from those above, I have a few other things to look forward to. Like... Akikah at Ghufran, Korban at Malaysia, brothers' birthdays (and hopefully no stupid stunts by them to make my family tensed and hopefully get eat seafood!!!) New Year, end of SIP, end of SIP celebration aka Seoul Garden outing!, end of the whole SIP/MP ordeal, birthday, graduation!!! And for now, for my wound to heal completely hehe. It's mostly pink flesh oredi. Parts of it look like raw meat still though, eww. But no more sluffy!! Dunno why the nurse call that. Sluffy = pus discharge aka infection.

I shall put aside thinking about what to do after SIP ends after SIP ends, haha. I dunno what to think now. There's so many things I wanna do, so many I wanna achieve! Really, it keeps coming to me the part about me wanting to be a doctor, a gynae specifically. I want to be involved in bringing lives into this world and seeing the tears of joy in many many people's yes! But doctor means medical school, which means competing with the best of the best with such an average results that I have. Med sch take in like distinction students, top students, super excellent students! How? Should I pursue? Do I have the guts? Is this what I'm meant to do, what I really really really wanna do?

To my multiply contacts: this is referring to my blog, so yeah...

Finally, I've changed my blogskin! I love the song as I set my ears to it last week. And ever since it's posted on the blog, I'd left my comp on throughout the night to listen to it and bring me to a relaxing mode. I need it badly. My muscles are so tensed... The first day I listened to the song, I wake up in the morning in a reflective mode and cried... Cried my heart out I should say, till I felt better.

Anyway, the slideshow with the header 'loves' are really the things I love. Not all the things I love though, as I don't have pictures of everything right.. But yes, I love my family, and I love my friends, I love Islam, I love beautiful sceneries, I love bright moons, I love sunrises, I love beaches and seas, I love camps, I love cats, I love butterflies, I love flowers especially ginvera, I love clouds, I love taking pictures of the things I love, I love Science, I love practical work (when I can understand what I'm doing, and it doesn't take too long) and more! And I miss some of these things I love... *smiles*

I need a massage badly. I'm getting frequent muscle cramps these days. Dunno if the accident plays a part...

Right now, my back and shoulders really hurt. Gotta go sleep! Toodles noodles!

Oh oh, I really wanna post this up!! Scroll of responsibility I'd call it ;)


If you wanna know more about NI, wanna collaborate for an event or something, you may contact me. :) PM me, tag me or something kays.

I do love art too y'know. The different forms and types of art. I'm not good at it, but I appreciate it. I can't draw the difference between a human head and a cow head I think haha. Try googling about forms and types of art! Anyway, anyone interested to go to the Biennale exhibition with me? I'm still free this Sat ;)

Oh, and I'm really itching to be involved in organizing something. Gosh but I can't!! I really can't commit :(

I foresee that this post will be long hehe. And I've checked that my internet and the autosave system is working fine :) I hope it will be till this post is safely posted. Ok, here goes!

Thoughts. Reflects the state of the mind and the body. Reflects the overall mental, spiritual, physical wellbeing of a person. Thoughts can be power because thoughts are the drive the pulls or pushes.

Why in the world am I talking about thoughts?

Firstly, it's because I recently completed the book titled "Book of a Thousand Days" by Shannon Hale. Ok I have to admit that the wolf part and the sing-to-heal part is rather ridiculous. But it is afterall a fantasy book. But apart from those two fantasy parts, the book tells of a story that sounds really real and possible. The book tells of obedience, of loyalty, of friendship, of love, of sacrifices and of hikmah. (What's hikmah in English eh? I've always thought wisdom can't really describe it all) And the book is in diary-form, meaning that it goes to the thoughts of the protagonist. (Somehow I feel like I'm writing a literature homework lol. I never was really good at it.) And it is just... personal and enables readers to connect and feel the emotions as if firsthand. Trust me, the emotions that the book evoked in me lasted at least 2 days. The feelings of misery, of hope, of fear, of happiness, of content, of disappointment, of fulfilment etc etc. "Book of a Thousand Days" is just the kind of book I enjoy. Fantasy yet filled with real life values and at the same time evokes all kinds of feelings in me. Great book, a must read.

What's even greater is that it inspires me to write a book. Not just any book, but a diary-like book of experiences. Not of any kind of experiences, but that of a Muslim youth in Singapore :D In English.

What, isn't a blog enough? Well, let's just say that I don't include all in my blog. It feels too personal to simply post it on the world wide web to let the whole world read.

But what difference does a book make? Wouldn't the whole world still read it? My answer is: maybe not. Come on, who would wanna publish a book written by a nobody like me? Who would read my book? (But then again though, all writers started as no one and there's people like Anne Frank who got her book/diary published for all to know what it was like being a young Jewish girl in Frankfurt during the German Occupation.) The book can be a gift to someone special passed on to generations of special people, in my hope to leave a tiny legacy, an ilmu that can be a benefit to others even till long after my death. Yes I will die one day. Everyone does. But not everyone leaves a legacy. Some leaves a name, but what point is it to leave behind your name. Leaving a legacy would benefit both the writer and the reader, insyaAllah.

It has always been my dream to write a book. But all the ideas that sparked either didn't start at all or simply just stopped in mid-writing. I believe there's no originality in all my stories. All cliche. So I stopped. But if it's a story of real life, then there's bound to be surprises and unexpected turns here and there. That's just how life is. And I believe my English is substantial enough. Maybe not equipped with a vast vocabulary, but at least my grammar is not bad and my style of writing is more or less easy to comprehend, though maybe a bit long-winded at times. Oh well *shrugs*

(I've got 2 title ready. As in I can't decide which. "A Book of Thoughts" or "Journey of Purpose" just like my blog.

Speaking of dreams, I have other dreams. Some really BIG dreams. Some small. Some general. Some personal. Some special. But mostly my dreams are long-term and would take alot of effort and a looooooong time to well... become reality.

Just to share one of the dreams I have which I wish to realise. I dream to be able to speak fluent Arabic and Mandarin, and read and write as well. These 2 languages have appealed to me as early as around primary 3. And I think my vocab just keeps expanding. Slooooowwwly though, I must add. I think I've got a new strategy. See how. I'll probably take 10 years to study the 'textbooks' I'd chosen hehe.

I got thinking about dreams, and choices, after I watched High School Musical 3 with my brother last night. Not the most suitable company to be watching HSM3 with haha, considering how looooooong ago he stopped formal studies. Wanted to watch with Jamie and Ad, but well, I guess I couldn't wait. With Jamie and Ad, we'll perhaps catch another movie aite? Like the dog cartoon movie, bolt I think. Or or there's another movie, erm also about dogs, it's a dog named Chloe hehe, maybe can ask Chloe, my friend - not the dog, along.

So anyway, HSM3 talks about dreams, aspirations, passion, friendship, graduation, separation, achievement etc. I'll be graduating soon, insyaAllah, and these similar thoughts frequently cross my mind. I'm still not so sure of the BIG dreams I have, of my aspirations and ambitions. I have a few in mind but I have no idea which I'd feel most at ease with doing. I wanna do something fun, yet challenging enough, and interactive but certainly beneficial to myself and/or the community. We'll see. I'll keep thinking till February comes. As for friendship and separation, I dunno... I've seen, sometimes separation does adverse negative things to a person. Though I doubt I'll go in that direction. I mean, so far I take 'moving on' in step rather easily. Afterall, I had to separate with friends many times in my life. Some of whom I totally lose contact with, which is rather sad actually. And I doubt I'll be going overseas, even if I do think about it sometimes, so separation is not really a matter lah. Achievement. This word probably means different things to different people. Myself, I categorise my achievements, if you can say so. I dunno. I don't think I achieved much in poly. Maybe the first year was fine, perfectly how I want it to be. But I slacked too much followig that, changed my lifestyle and even my principles. Haiz... It is something to sigh about really... Choices. I feel like I'm reaching a crossroad soon. There's so many possibilities to choose from! I'll choose when I have to haha.

A looong entry indeed. Just sharing my thoughts out loud. I wish I can talk as fluently as I type lol. Really, I stutter a lot actually while talking. I dunno, my brain and my mouth just can't work in unison. But my fingers are definitely in perfect tune and harmony with my mind hehe.

P.S. HSm3 really makes me wanna be involved in theatre again! Lucky Bolton, gets to get all he wants: Gabriella, basketball AND theatre. In real life though, more often than not, you'll be asked to question your priorities, make choices and face the consequences of certain sacrifices you just gotta make.

K dahh, toodles~

Feeling so blessed with the friends He has given me as companions in my life, whom I regard my close brothers and sisters whereby the only tie between us is the ties of a wonderful religion. Praise be to Allah :)

At the same time, looking back over the past few weeks, berlambak nye raya activities aku! Mwahaha.

Short, sweet and simple. Till the next blog post, if have, insyaAllah...

Got loads going on in my mind... Well more than the usual school stuff and event projects...

Things like, "Maybe we can start a Ramadhan campaign in Singapore like posting up posters encouraging MUSLIMS to respect Ramadhan, to not eat/drink/smoke/dress scantily/mix around freely for boys and girls etc instead of posters about zakat only" or, "Maybe MUIS should openly declare that Muslim men/women do not shake hands with the opposite gender and make this known to the public just like how people learn that you should remove your footwear outside a Malay/Muslims house" and "How can someone declare themselves Muslim when they do not observe even the basic obligations like prayer and fast" or "Let's gather a few friends and go around 'teguring' Muslims bil hikmah of course to dress more appropriately like for guys not to wear shorts and girls not to wear clothings that hardly covers anything" or "So really frustrating to hear fellow artistes saying things like, Allah sahaja yang berhak menilai seseorang as I doubt they really MEAN what they say" and "Takde rasa malu langsung ke ape orang-orang Melayu/muslim kita ni??" and "Kenapa mesti pakai 'Malay/Muslim' padahal ada Melayu yang bukan Muslim dan banyak juga Melayu yang hanya Muslim pada nama" and macam-macam lah!

Where do I get these ideas? Ada from people more knowledgable than me, ada from peers, ada from myself... Seriously, I feel SOMETHING has got to be done and I'd be glad to be part of a group of agents of change to better akhlak orang-orang Malay/Muslim kita! Slowly lah eh... Let's start with my badges "Akhlak Mulia Semua Orang Suka" kk? My "Jom Jadi Baik" badge hilang :( *sniff sniff* Oh ramai yang tanya, "You not enough brooches arh?" NOPE. Please eh my house is like full of brooches cos my mum makes brooches and sells them... But I CHOSE to wear the badges.

Anywaykan... Temasek Poly won PPP for the 3rd year in a row! Fu yoh, all 3 years I'm in TP I got to 'witness' TP win PPP tau tau hehe. Congrats my babies! So proud of all of you! Wish I was there to watch your winning piece and to witness your moment of joy. Unfortunately... I can't. I can't even be there for your debriefing this Wednesday... so sorry babies-ku... Go Titisan!!! (and Nadi haha!)

Gonna start a new module for DPI, Asas Psikologi beb, hmm~ Gonna miss Ust Fathurrahman... he really teaches well. Makes we wanna study and read more and more hehe.

Oh I finally got to drink Chrysanthemum tea this morning tapi kotak kecik je... and eat Mcspicy baru ni tapi dah sejuk dahh... Trophy next?


Symposium at NYP.

More pics at my multiply.
With comments by MUS.
symposium was boring nak mampz...
For the I dunno how time, I slept in a lecture haha.
Naik kebiasaan eh!

Been visiting new places. Entered SP clubrooms. Went NYP. Went Darul Ma'wa and received a tour around. First time masuk main female toilet at Darul Aman. Had yummeh chicken murtabak at some Indian stall near Masjid Kassim. Went SIM. Wonder where's next ;)

Err, k got loads of things to accomplish and super ngantok oredi tau!! Can't wait to graduate! It really doesn't seem so far off! It feels like yesterday that I brought home Tsu's water bottle after camp xplore haha.

Oh forgot to state appreciations and wishes... Thx Ad for your battery! Thx Nyzah and Farhan for belanja-ing me! Happy belated birthday Dian Farhana and Nurul Nyzah!

Great to meet Farzana again just now. Sry babe kalau macam 'sombong' hehe. Oh and Syafi, glad to have you in the team. surprisingly you're the one making the jokes!!

K dah. Meeting NI-ans tmr, whee~