Wah, I reached my room a few minutes ago to hear my neighbour shouting (I think at her roomie). It was in Mandarin so I don't understand larh haha.

Once again Mir is not here. Home alone haha.

Turned out I had fever this afternoon, and as predicted, now it's better already, though I really shouldn't push my luck and go get some early rest today. At least 1 person said I looked very tired today, and one even gave a passing remark, "get well soon!" and when I stared as her wondering how did she know, she shrugged and said she was assuming. Okayyyy, I must look very sick then. But ya larh, I fell asleep twice as soon as I rested my head on my arms today. But hey, I didn't fall asleep in lab & lecture!

We had to identify the different mitosis & meoisis stages in onion root cells, broad bean cells and grasshopper testes cells. I was straightaway reminded of Twilight (not that my partner looks like Edward or anything haha, my group mates were Amirah, Yasmin & Sebastian) and how they could recognise the stages immediately upon looking into the microscope. Firstly, under the microscope, you have to move here move there before you can find a set of properly squashed cells, then you have to look for those which are dividing, of which there are more than 1 cells at different stages!!!

I was also reminded of my SIP/MP and my fly ovaries! I sooooooo miss lab work!

Anyway, we had the first lecture with Dr Yan for this sem just now! Whee! Btw, his hair is like white already larh, but his style of teaching is good. :D We missed him... I could understand his lecture 100% today, and we were learning something rather new (with application from last Sem & from Dr Lee's lectures)!

Urgh, I hate to put my MSN status on online, cos the notifications are so irritating.

Alright, gotta finish my tutorial. And I hadn't been a good casper! Hehe, casper is the name given to the so called 'admin' person for a week or two...

Mahmudah & Harizah were so surprised to feel my forehead so warm. Haha they said that when I told them I was feeling cold earlier on, they thought it's just me being me (hmm do I feel cold that easily? I thought I've got lotsa fat insulators in me haha)...

Oh, and I bought a bag for $13. Needed some retail therapy! They were selling abayas in school! But there were none that I fancied. Actually there was one, but someone bought it already. I saw it as the person was making the purchase, awww, it's k, I doubt it was my size anyway... The stall sold shawls as well, but I was so paiseh to look at them. Besides Amirah said Chinatown has shawls 4 for $10! I wanna go see! Though I have no idea where is it exactly, how to get there, when can I find the time to go, who would be so kind as to accompany me there and what does the shawl really look like :( We'll see. For now, I shall be happy with my new bag :)

My hp inbox is superbly full. I want a new phone, though I'm rather certain I can't find one that is nice yet have what I like about my current phone.

There's so many small red ants on my bed!!!!!

Okok gtg gtg!

I miss being part of organizing committee, be it for a big event or just a small one, be it I'm a games master or a programmer or an admin, or... oh wait that's all I've tried hehe. InsyaAllah I'll try to spread my wings and try my hand in others.

So yeah, a shoutout to the organizing comm of Orientation just now, and all involved. May you find it beneficial, and hope through it we learn what is good and repeat them, and what is bad and we improve on them, insyaAllah.

Before I go on, I thought it'd be nice to remind myself and all about our niat, through the song below. 'Classic' ;P



Dimulakan dengan bismillah
Disudahi dengan alhamdulillah
Begitulah sehari dalam hidup kita
Mudah mudahan dirahmati Allah

Mulakanlah kerja dengan niat yang satu
Untuk mendapatkan keredoannya
Moga segala urusan dipermudahkannya
Agar sentiasa dalam kebaikan
Barulah hati kita kan terasa tenang
Dan bersyukur dengan apa yang ada

Buruk dan baik itu ketentuan Allah
Kitalah jua yang memilihnya
Amal yang baik akan membawa syurga
Amalan buruk menempah neraka

Hanyalah iman, amal dan juga takwa
menjadi bekal dalam hidup kita
Hanyalah iman, amal dan juga takwa
menjadi bekal dalam hidup kita

Ilmu pelita menerangi kegelapan
Darilah ilmu datangnya amalan
Dari amalan lahirlah kasih sayang
Saling membantu dan bekerja sama
Rezeki yang ada hulurkanlah derma
Agar hidup harmoni bahgia



I am a Muslim, the things I say
In everything I do everyday
We are Muslims, the things we say
In everything we do everyday

Oooh, Bismillah,
Oooh, Alhamdullillah (x2)

I am a Muslim and this I know
I need to eat so that I will grow
We are Muslims and this we know
We need to eat so that we will grow

When we eat we say Bismillah
When we’re full, we say Alhamdullillah (x2)

Water, juice and milk, these I think
Are so delicious for me to drink
Water, juice and milk, these we think
Are so delicious for us to drink

When we drink we say, Bismillah
When we’re done we say Alhamdullillah (x2)

Going out with my mum and dad
Coming home, oh what fun we had
Going out with our mum and dad
Coming home, oh what fun we had

Driving in the car, Bismillah
Coming safely home, Alhamdullillah (x2)

I go to sleep saying Allah’s name
And in the morning I do the same
We go to sleep saying Allah’s name
And in the morning we do the same

When we sleep we say Bismillah
When we rise we say Alhamdullillah (x2)

I'm soooo loving post-SIP! I guess I don't care what grade I'd get. I've done what needs to be done, as best as I can I'd say, even if it is like cat's work as compared to others, I had done it ok. There's nothing I can do now except to doa and tawakkal. InsyaAllah it'd be good. If not, it is still probably the best for me.

So yeah, I may sound free, but I'd just dived into a new pool of responsibilities. Yep, so I shall be busy still. Free-er insyaAllah, but still busy.

Hai, menteri2 negeri ni... Hehehe...

There's alot on my mind. Responsibilities. Ideas. Adventures. Personal quests. Goal. Future. Plannings. Etc etc etc. If only I'm a computer and can organize each of these into separate folders haha.

But I'm loving it ;) I hope this goes on, and I wouldn't find all a burden. InsyaAllah I won't. Normally what makes it a burden is when I get pressured by others. Yea, but at the same time also if I don't get pressured.. well, I don't wanna say it. InsyaAllah I'll be more disciplined. Pray for me yea?

There's so much I wanna do with my time!!! :D So happily free hurrah! Alhamdulillah it is all over!!! I have officially closed and sealed my SIP days. IT. IS. OVER. fullstop

There's like a lump, which felt like a very heavy stone that just settled in my heart.

I just noticed. My MP report format is all wrong!!! I didn't realise... What should I do??

And my workbook, haiz...

Poster Presentation next Tuesday, meaning by hook or by crook I must finish it by Monday so I can print it, and it takes like one whole day to print ehk.

I just started the poster. Only got title in so far -_-

Feel like crying, but these days no tears seem to wetting my eyes, except when I yawn in sleepiness, which is alot...

I dunno what to do. PASRAH!!! Doa, doa and teus berdoa... I'm in need of MAJOR help.

Everything will be over tmr night insyaAllah, and I'll be left with poster. Do pray that everything rns smoothly for me yeah?

I still can't bring myself to read the research materials I have to do the intro. I have yet to feel the pressure. Still dwelling on M&M and Results. Slow huh? I know.

And I don't dare apply for uni yet. Maybe after I pray. I now NTU offers 5 choices. Which 5 should I try? NUS, never states. NUS, I'm trying for the sake of trying.

Nak masuk uni pon pe susah... Why can't anyone who wants to study be allowed to study? Why do only the best of the geniuses get to study?

Ok fine you can study elsewhere, but you see, it is not the geniuses who needs the best education, but the lesser ones who actually need them more.

You know what? I'm just ranting and lamenting. Bak kata org Indonesi, "Meningan kita buat apa yang bisa dan perlu kita buat dulu aja sih!" Which means, back to report...

I'm missing my madrasah for this report. Better make full use of the 3hrs. should go have lunch first.

Oh, hooray! I lost weight! No I'm not obsessed with losing weight, but yea it just makes you feel happier. It's a girls' thing. And I'm as much of a girl as any girl is hehe. Hardly any tomboy blood in me. Ok larh, got larh... but..

Hey, don't waste time la Marl can??

"Graduating students – please update your contact details by end Feb to receive your graduation package."

Uwahh, ade graduation package ah... While you freshies get your enrollment package, I'll be receiving my graduation package soon insyaAllah!!

Oh cool!

And 1st Feb is when application to local uni for poly students open, whee~ Pray for me yea! I do wanna go for further studies, insyaAllah.

To think again, most of my friends are already in uni now after A levels results last year. If I enter uni, they'll be in yr 2, and I'll still be a freshie huhu~

But it's ok. Poly is where I belonged anyway. JC is like a big black cloud which covers the bright star in me.

Ouhs, Najmul Islam! Star (light) of Islam!!

Wahh, suddenly the name has a whole new meaning to me!

Najmul Islam! May you shine always, chewahh

Ok, before graduation, I have to submit my reports, so yeah, back to reports -_-

I blogged so many2 heh yesterday? Mwahahaha, that was de-stress-ifying lol.

Moving on the SIP report... Due tmr!! *gulps* But this one insyaAllah ble breeze through. I've got my materials ready, just need to crap and crap and crap till I reach 2500 words.

I shall imagine I'm blogging, in a semi-formal tone. =D

I gave up.

I gave up wanting to submit a perfect report and getting a perfect shining 'A'.

I just hope to finish a substantial one IN TIME.

E-mail to my mentor:

Thanks for the offer to help me go through and edit my report. I promised to send it by yesterday, but I've yet to finish it even by today.

Sorry if I kept you waiting. I understand you have your thesis to complete as well.

I'll send the complete report when I finish it. If you have some time to spare, I hope you can still help me glance through it and tell me what's not good. Even if it's not in time for the submission on 2nd Feb (of which I will submit what I have), at least I hope to learn from any mistakes in this report so I won't repeat it for future reports because I know writing reports is my weakness.

Thank you once again.

But you know, what I meant by 'substantial' is the best within my limits, insyaAllah. As perfect as I can, even if it's not perfect. Perfectionists, hah.

I'd rather submit a perfect report late than a meagre one in time. But I'm ot risking my 8 credit units *gasps*.

So I shall continue trying and burn the midnight oil and pray for help (like an extended submission date, hehe, which actually would just torture my friends who prefer to get things over and done with by the way) and leave up to Him to decide what's best for me.



What's important is...



I'm loving iluvislam's designs =D

Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillahi rabb al-amin!!!

I found my results! I found my results!

Yes... At 5+ am in the wee morning.

It wasn't even lost in the first place. Not misplaced. It's amongst my stacks of results, just that I didn't see it haha.

Dan bila kamu membutuhNya, tentu sekali Dia akan membantumu.

I'm so happy.

Anyone wanna go to a big empty field and run around freely? Hehe.

Next week insyaAllah I'd be dreaming of that. Instead of dreaming of evil reports eating up my mind and sanity.

I feel like singing to It's Your Genome Afterall aka It's a Small World Afterall haha

I'm still awake! I'm still awake!

K that's a lie, I fell asleep 1-4am. Power nap greatly needed after I had no day naps for 2 days and sleeping at 3am yesterday.

I'm almost finishing my results page. ONLY.

Going on Materials Method next.

I think I'm e-mailing my mentor thanking her for her kindness in offering to help me edit my report amidst her own thesis (she's seen how horrible I write so yeah, and as a senior of TP, she probably feels it her duty to at least help me get an A, even if it seems impossible) telling her I won't be able to let her see my report afterall before submission.

Cos I'm still far from finishing!

But at least I'm moving constantly.

Ok, with constant breaks to blog and etc.

No, I can't be a writer. I'll spend years to finish just one book, and probably would tae my whole lifetime trying to find someone to publish my book, cos it'd probably be too horrible the writing haha.

K back to work.

Oh hello panda. Eye-bags.

I lost two sets of western blot results! Or maybe it's one set but containing results for two experiments, waah!

Even if I decide to leave it out of my report, I'd need to put it in my logbook.

*panics*

Ok yea so I'm improving in certain areas. Alot actually, alhamdulillah. I'm doing some things that I've never done before. Good beneficial ones (insyaAllah) lar.

BUT, there's a problem. I can't seem to do my report. No progress... I wanna cry, wekkkkk!!!

I'm trying, I'm trying.

Been reading articles and notes and all but I can't seem to absorb the alien language!!

Tell me how much you can understand from the paragraph below:

Piwis are a germline-specific subclass of the Argonaute family of RNA interference (RNAi) effector proteins that are associated with a recently discovered group of small RNAs (piRNAs). Recent studies in Drosophila and zebrafish directly implicate Piwi proteins in piRNA biogenesis to maintain transposon silencing in the germline genome (Brennecke et al., 2007, Gunawardane et al., 2007 and Houwing et al., 2007). This function may be conserved in mice as loss of Miwi2, a mouse Piwi homolog, leads to germline stem cell and meiotic defects correlated with increased transposon activity (Carmell et al., 2007).

It's alien I tell you.

And to understand their language, I tell you, I need to morph into an alien first. So don't be surprise if you meet an alien wearing tudung one of these days.

It could jolly well be me.

One more day to end of SIP *GASPS!*

Aaahhhhh!! Reports!!

Nyawa2 ikan directly means fish lives, but I don't mean that way lar.

Nyawa2 ikan is a Malay proverb that can mean something like 'struggling' ah.

And that's exactly how I'm feeling.

3 days left *gasp!*

K, confirm ah I'm not going Gombak...

It's k, insyaAllah ada hikmah (there's a reason behind this). InsyaAllah too, there'll be a next time.

Two more weeks to freedom!!!

In the meantime, I'm head over heels feeling like a fish thrown on shore.

There's two kinds of stress. I experienced one of them last week... It's the kind of stress where you have no appetite to eat at all and have stomachache 24/7 from worry.

This week, I'm experiencing the other type. The one where you wanna eat and eat and eat, and whenever you stop munching, you think it's time to sleep. ZzZzZzzz...

I have yet to finish my MP report! And I haven't started my SIP report!

And because I'm not munching right now, I feel very sleepy. And because I feel very sleepy, I'm too lazy to reach for my cookies. -_-

I can't wait! I can't wait!

I shall soon start what I'd been wanting to for a long time... Practical lessons for car and arabic class. InsyaAllah... After SIP.

Ad, Seoul Garden on 10th Feb amacam?

I wanna try new things soon, insyaAllah. Wowhee~!

And I've got loads of interesting books to read!

And insyaAllah finally I shall start some of my personal projects that I'd been planning. There's quite alot actually. I'd probably be busier after SIP! Lol.

For now, it shall be gloom and doom... But I'll pull out of this, right? InsyaAllah I'll pass this just fine.

Been contemplating... NUS, NTU, NIE? InsyaAllah any of them is fine. I'm hungry to learn new stuff on Science. I actually feel compelled to try new things like linguistics or physics you know. But I shall not risk it la eh.

Hmms...

I'm like addicted to Suci. Padahal I don't approve what I watch. Ape nih peluk2?? Ape ni pegang2?? ape nih cinta pergi cinta balik?? Haiz... But sweet uh cerita dier. So what if you're not rich and beautiful, your heart is what matters. Awww...

Been having interesting and fruitful discussions with Hui Yi on train ride home (of course there's news of how others are doing in SIP etc in between haha). And to think, 20 weeks ago I thought I wouldn't get along with her. Turns out she's a great friend to have, and a good company on long journey home. Oh, the journey doesn't feel so long anymore. I'm getting used to it.

My mum is asking me to find a job for after SIP. Any vacancies anyone?

I'm seeing hope, and that is exactly what I need.

Hope for what? To have time to finish my reports and logbooks and what not.

I'm waiting reply from my mentor. She's a really helpful and understanding mentor. But I always cringe upon hearing her footsteps (her heels are very audible, and I've learned to identify footsteps sound in the lab to know who's approaching, cool or what?) or whenever I'm supposed to face her. Reason being... She has such a confident and formal aura around her while I always feel insecure and lost yet playful in the lab hehe.

I see hope to of going Gombak, but I dunno, I dunno...

ONE month to freedom. Hah!

ngah jihad jugak nih tau... but in much much smaller scale la gitu kan...

Before freedom comes hardship :(


13 days to end of SIP meaning needing to show my mentor whtever I have done for report
20 days to post SIP briefing and submission of SIP report (have yet to start not even cover page) and SIP logbook (alhamdulillah it's complete as of today, two more weeks to fill in...)
23 days to submission of MP report (I'm cracking my head over this right now aka yes yes I'm working on it) and MP workbook (still very very far behind uh oh)
30 days to MP poster presentation (not a single thing done in preparation for it)

Now it has come down to days, do pray for me yea?

So nervous. So panicky. So... At least not so depressed as 4-5 days ago. I'm rather motivated now.

Working on results part currently as I can't seem to not look at the introduction without wanting to scream gah!

3-Jan-09 (Sat) 2nd Campus Discussion Session
i.2nd meeting with the Liaison Officer (LO)
ii.2nd meeting with the MP Evaluator 1 (EV1)
iii.2nd meeting with the Care person (CP)

23-Jan-09 (Fri) Student Internship Program Ends

26, 27 Jan-09 (Mon,Tues)Chinese New Year- Public Holiday

28-Jan-09 (Wed) Post SIP Briefing & Submission of SIP Student Feedback online

30-Jan-09 (Fri) Submit SIP Report and SIP logbook

02-Feb-09 (Mon) Submit MP Report & MP workbook

10 Feb-09 (Tue) MP Poster Presentation

Scary or what la sey...

Please spare me in January up till Feb 10. Haha I think after that I'm gonna go have as much fun as I can lol. So many overdue lunch/dinner dates with pals!!

It just crossed my mind today. Haha. Know why? Cos I kept 'talking to myself' in my head practically 24/7! But I'm not talkative. I'm just... thinkative haha. In other words: INTROVERT. And proud to be one!

I met a fair share of talkative people the past few days. Talk and talk and talk non-stop. Sometimes I find it too noisy and irritating.

I just love talking to myself. And because of that, I love to blog! There's so many things I wanna share since the last post but I dunno where to start! Hmm, let's do a list of FAQs haha!

FAQ 1: How are you?
ans 1: Alhamdulillah, praise to allah I'm still alive. And yes, I can walk normally again already. And my bruises are lightening. It's rather scary to see a big patch of blue flesh, then yellow flesh haha. Muscle strains... On and off. The wound which had been hurting the most, was actually just healing till this morning! On Friday after the nurse cleaned the wound and bandaged it nicely, I felt really comfortable and almost like no pain at all! But after I changed myself (or asked my mum to assist in changing it), okok uh, uncomfortable. I think I put too tight or something. This morning, someone go and bang into my arm, like OWW oww OWW. Till now can like feel the sting. And the pain reaches the bones. Feels like I just knocked my elbow on a rock. The pain actually goes all the way up to my left shoulderblade la sey. I think cos too tensed with trying to control the pain. Oh well.

And I just noticed, how come there's so many white cars huh?? I can't really say it's trauma or the after-shock and whatnots, cos I don't really know what is it. But I can't help taking notice of every single white car in my way!

Yesterday I left TLL late and I had to wait for the shuttle bus for about 15-20mins. Meaning I had to watch so many cars pass by (some sprint by) in front of me at the scene of accident. Erm... Ok. And I almost cry. Though I think it's more because of impatience than of fear haha. And I keep hearing a car approaching. Though I think it's because I was listening hard for the bus screeches!

For 2 days, I had my lunch at TLL. Lazy to go out, rain, don't want to wait for bus, short incubation time are just some of the reasons why. I can't really decide if the accident is another reason. But I did tell myself I'm like NEVER gonna have lunch at Science sch anymore for the remaining SIP days = 10 weeks. It takes too much time to go so far, and I don't wanna rush rush anymore, which could result in another stupid decision like crossing across the road infront of a gigantic bus at a narrow bend. Real stupid thing to do. REALLY STUPID you know.

FAQ 2: How's SIP?
ans 2: Ok. Coping. Out of 5, maybe like only 2 days I go home at 6. Heck. Hectic. So many things to do. Especially yesterday. I had to continue almost everything I was doing last Wednesday and cos my mentor continued a bit for me, I had to figure out where she stopped so I can continue from there. Quite confusing. Aiyo. And I've got so many vials of flies collected already! And because it's Monday, I have to transfer EVERYTHING to new vials with new yeast paste etc. Not as easy as it sounds ok. And also because it's Monday, most of the puppae has developed into flies! Meaning I have to filter through like hundreds of flies to collect the crosses I want.

Anyway, I'm putting quite a lot of things I've learned together to get the bigger picture, especially with restriction digestion, about the enzymes (what buffer to use, what temperature to set reaction at, how compatible etc), about how to know whether it's cutting or not, about digest set-up the reactions (as in how much of each reagent to use, what temperature, how long, whether to add SAP or not, whether to make blunt end or not etc) yea... And pcr, and sequencing too. I love practicals! I love lab work! EXCEPT the part where I need to write report. I don't mind doing these minor minor SIP stuff, which sometimes are the cause of me going home late, and recording them down. I love it! It's the MP that rather sucks.

FAQ 3: How about MP?
ans 3: Well, partly not so well. This week is my fourth try at the same experiment I've been doing! No results or insuffient results the past 3 weeks! So sian know! I've still yet to start my MP workbook, *gulps* What more my MP report! *cries* Anyway, is anyone willing to help me copy back all my experiments, under confidential agreement (I'm serious, I'll make you sign a letter of agreement), into my MP workbook X2 (one copy for school, another for my mentor) for $10? Really, really I'm serious. Criteria: Handwriting like mine, can write fast and free on Saturdays haha. No I don't think this is an offense, right? I'm really tired of writing. And all ideas for the workbook, aim, materials, method, results, discussion ALL will be by me. I just need someone to help me write!!! And it's not bribing la, it's a little token of appreciation for the help.

Oh anyway, my mentor has really high expectations of me. She's trusted me with TWO of HER projects know. and I've disappointed her time and time again. Haiz... But trust me, I give all my best for everything. But I dunno, despite knowing I'd given my best, I still feel disappointed with myself and guilty sometimes.

FAQ 4: How's social life?
ans 4: Sad :( I hadn't met my NI, Fityan and Titisan peeps *sniff sniff* And almost all have no idea how I am either, cos I can't be bothered to contact them, to ask how's things, to update on myself, to listen etc. Socialising can be tiring, especially for an introvert like me. I've got many different worlds to visit you know.. Haha just kidding, I'm not crazy la deyy.

But I gotta say I'm so glad for the friends I have at TLL! Especially Hui Yi, JJ and Aaron. They make SIP/MP all the more fun/bearable (respectively). Sometimes I just go up to them and make funny faces to destress haha. Funny faces like silently screaming under all the instructions my mentor asks me to do. It helps y'know.

Oh, that's all people frequently ask these days.

Now on to random stuff!

Hmm... Like what eh? Forgot.

OH! I think I'm gonna do something on the last day of SIP. I'm gonna go crazy on my mentor HAHA. I mean all these while I just nod nod and say "ok", "yes understood", "alright", "can" to her know. I think on the last day I'll go wild! Whee! I hope she'd be surprised. Hehehee. Gosh, I'm thinking of these stuffs know...

I might be meeting Fityan peeps this Thursday and Sunday and Titisan peeps perhaps tmr and Friday. Oh no, NI usrah on Friday! Erm, alamak, I forgot! Geez... NI dearies sisters, can we meet up on Saturday pwease?
I'm free the WHOLE of Saturday.

Apart from those above, I have a few other things to look forward to. Like... Akikah at Ghufran, Korban at Malaysia, brothers' birthdays (and hopefully no stupid stunts by them to make my family tensed and hopefully get eat seafood!!!) New Year, end of SIP, end of SIP celebration aka Seoul Garden outing!, end of the whole SIP/MP ordeal, birthday, graduation!!! And for now, for my wound to heal completely hehe. It's mostly pink flesh oredi. Parts of it look like raw meat still though, eww. But no more sluffy!! Dunno why the nurse call that. Sluffy = pus discharge aka infection.

I shall put aside thinking about what to do after SIP ends after SIP ends, haha. I dunno what to think now. There's so many things I wanna do, so many I wanna achieve! Really, it keeps coming to me the part about me wanting to be a doctor, a gynae specifically. I want to be involved in bringing lives into this world and seeing the tears of joy in many many people's yes! But doctor means medical school, which means competing with the best of the best with such an average results that I have. Med sch take in like distinction students, top students, super excellent students! How? Should I pursue? Do I have the guts? Is this what I'm meant to do, what I really really really wanna do?

To my multiply contacts: this is referring to my blog, so yeah...

Finally, I've changed my blogskin! I love the song as I set my ears to it last week. And ever since it's posted on the blog, I'd left my comp on throughout the night to listen to it and bring me to a relaxing mode. I need it badly. My muscles are so tensed... The first day I listened to the song, I wake up in the morning in a reflective mode and cried... Cried my heart out I should say, till I felt better.

Anyway, the slideshow with the header 'loves' are really the things I love. Not all the things I love though, as I don't have pictures of everything right.. But yes, I love my family, and I love my friends, I love Islam, I love beautiful sceneries, I love bright moons, I love sunrises, I love beaches and seas, I love camps, I love cats, I love butterflies, I love flowers especially ginvera, I love clouds, I love taking pictures of the things I love, I love Science, I love practical work (when I can understand what I'm doing, and it doesn't take too long) and more! And I miss some of these things I love... *smiles*

I need a massage badly. I'm getting frequent muscle cramps these days. Dunno if the accident plays a part...

Right now, my back and shoulders really hurt. Gotta go sleep! Toodles noodles!

Oh oh, I really wanna post this up!! Scroll of responsibility I'd call it ;)


If you wanna know more about NI, wanna collaborate for an event or something, you may contact me. :) PM me, tag me or something kays.

I do love art too y'know. The different forms and types of art. I'm not good at it, but I appreciate it. I can't draw the difference between a human head and a cow head I think haha. Try googling about forms and types of art! Anyway, anyone interested to go to the Biennale exhibition with me? I'm still free this Sat ;)

Oh, and I'm really itching to be involved in organizing something. Gosh but I can't!! I really can't commit :(

Started the week feeling motivated, was erm... tired and sleepy when it reaches Wednesday and Thursday afternoon but the motivation is back!!!

I dunno, but I think thinking about NI simply kindles a fire in me. I can't sleep thinking about NI. Chewahh, cam real. Jap lagi, think punya think tertido jugak...

Anyway, do you know what is Senah Gelap? Tak tau kan kan? Meh kiter bagi tau. It means 'snuggle up', haha in bahasa ape-entah (in dunno-what language). K, not funny, I know.

Spent alot today. Splurge!!! Not that I've gotten my allowance yet. No! Let's see, I've bought presents for 2 friends costing me $15 altogether. Photocopied and binded 2 sets of a booklet which costs $9.40, dang! And to make myself happy after all that forking out, I bought myself 3 sushis - 80c + 90c (supposed to be $1.80 but got 50% discount one). Yeah they filled my tummy, but man... they don't really make me feel happy. Especially when I needed to pay library fees, which adds up to $14.10, not to mention another $5 cashcard top-up! Gosh. In total is like $45.20!! Wow. That doesn't include my lunch, which fortunately didn't cost too much. $2 + $1 for drinks and another $1.(20 I think) for another drink.

Oh, TLL has got a new fish tank, with a handicapped turtle, 5 more big fishes and dunno how many small fishes. According to Ya Zhi, that turtle is a soft shell one, which can be eaten. Hmm.. Eww...

My digest didn't work well today. I suspect the reagents were contaminated, either SAP or klenow. I'm sure I did everything else properly!

Feeling excitedly sleepy. Erm, yea...

SIP is getting slightly better. MP is taxing (*gasp* proposal!!) So ppl, if you had separate SIP and MP, don't complain. I shouldn't be complainig either. Hearing about the 2 earthquakes at Pakistan (eh?) killing 160 dear to the others, and leaving 15000homeless, I should be grateful.

'Have you Heard'
Each day we are reminded
and each day we say
there's not much that we can do
it seems so far away
So we live our lives in silence
pretending not to hear
the voices of our people
The cry is so so clear
Why do we stand by spectating
while our brothers cry jihad?
We are bound by one conviction:
we believe in Allah
Have you heard of Kosova, of Afghanistan?
Have you heard of Palestine [2nd chorus: Bosnia]
of Chechan?
Have you heard of all these people
persecuted in their land?
Do you know that all these people are dying for Islam?
Have you heard, have you heard
have you heard?

'Forgive Me When I Whine'
Today, upon a bus I saw a girl with golden hair,
And in my heart I wished that I was just as fair
When suddenly she rose to leave, I saw her hobble down the aisle.
She had one leg and wore a crutch, but as she passed, a smile.
Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 legs to walk upon and the world is mine.

I stopped to buy some candy; met a boy who had such charm.
We talked, he seemed so happy, if I were late, it do no harm.
And as I left, he said to me, 'Thank you, you've been so kind.
It's nice to talk with folks like you. You see,' he said, 'I'm blind.'
Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 eyes to see the world and the world is mine.

Later that day on my way, I saw a boy with eyes of blue.
He watched the other children play; he did not know what to do.
I stopped a moment, then I said, 'Why don't you join the others, dear?'
He kept on looking straight ahead and then I knew he could not hear
Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 ears to hear the world and world is mine.

With legs to take me where I'd go.
With eyes to see the sunset glow.
With ears to hear what I'd know
Oh the world is mine

I stopped for a moment, just look how much I have
Everywhere, in all our lives, these are His signs

Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have been blessed indeed, and the world is mine
Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have been blessed indeed, and the world is mine

Hullo hullo! Finally I get to blog. Actually I'd been blogging in my head all week practically everyday, in my head. There's always something interesting, exciting, funny, hysterical, gloomy, scary moments to share. But unfortunately, either I can't access my internet or I'm too tired with work.

Speaking of work...

Hmm... I had three weeks without my mentor around (she went for honeymoon), whereby I had to learn to be independent. On the last week she wasn't around, my supervisor also went on-leave, leaving me completely independent. Cept, what I refer to as independent is the duration I take of doing things and however I wish to plan my time to maximise whatever time I have. Independent doesn't mean not talking to or getting help from the others in the lab. I still go to Hui Yi's mentor or my other colleagues to ask where can I find certain reagents or how should I go on with a certain experiment. Hey, it's better to ASK ok... At least that's what my mentor thinks.

My mentor

No, I'm not gonna bitch about her, I'll just be erm... talking behind her back? No larh, it's the truth... She is not much taller than me, I'm quite glad. But she's so intimidating, I tell you I am super glad she's not any taller, else I'd go and run and hide everytime I see her. At any rate, that's more or less what I'm doing. Anytime she's in the office, I'd avoid passing through there at all. I'd exit through the lab door which is longer. Oh she's not OLD or FAT and all. She's young and pretty and petite. But I dunno, the aura that she sends me like makes me suddenly timid. Sometimes my voice can't even get out of my thraot when I'm speaking to her that I can't even believe it myself the first time it happened. Oh well.

My project

My project's going fine. 50% success rate, whee~ At other times, I would be disappointed. I am too actually. But come on... I really can't turn back time, so let's just look forward okeh. I'll be doing Co-IP for the next two more weeks. OH! My supervisor actually praised me! I was surprised! Haha, but not SO surprised la. IF my mentor praise me, then I'd be SUPER DUPER surprised. I always feel so stupid around her. But I just put a thick face and ask her whatever I don't know anyway. Oh, and... I just found out last Friday, the day my mentor returned (which Alfred named 'Episode one with the mentor'... I would name it 'Episode 1: Return of the mentor') that my Co-IP is just HALF of my project. And the other half is actually a protocol she had just come up with and so it will have to be optimised first etc etc. And so, I'm very worried. What IF it doesn't get optimised in time? Gosh. No.

Episode 1: Return of the Mentor

It was quite uneventful actually, cos as usual I sound so stupid when I talk to her. Other than that, she almost made me do OT. At 4.30pm, I tell you I was rushing out everything - transformation, innoculation and pcr. Phew, I made it. With an appreciation to Hui Yi who helped me bring down the temperature of the water bath quickly and for the protocols she provided. And I guess I owe an apology to Jun Jie for chasing him away. I really needed the fullest concentration. Sorry man, you'd been a great friend actually.

Friends of TLL

Waaaaah! All that I'd typed long long all disappear!! Wekk...

Diselubungi kesedihan...

Received my results for Sem 3.1. THE WORST I tell you... The first D+ I ever get. And my GPA dropped quite a lot. I know some of you are probably saying, "Come on ah Marl, how bad can it get?? Your grades are ok lah k."

Noooo... It sucks it sucks. It dropped!! All the way from Sem 1.1, it's been dropping dropping dropping. Grr...

I scored best for RTecB and CSAS4. Best best pon it's not A, what more a Z. Sedihx. I did my best for these two and I thought ada chance seh dapat A...

Now after I see how research is like and with my grades like this, I wonder, WHERE DO I GO NEXT? Is this really what I want to do??

I only left TLL at 7.45pm seh just now. I had to do ALL that I'd learnt from Monday plus two more techniques: Gel Casting, PCR, Gel Electrophoresis, Gel Extraction, Gel Excision, Gel Dissolve, DNA binding, DNA elution, Restriction Digestion and Cloning and not to mention the usual reading I have to do in between waiting time. GAH!!

Cabaran benar niari. Missed NUS bus A2, so had to WALK from TLL to Central Library to meet Liyana.

The only good thing today I guess was to get to see Masjid Tentera and to have dinner with Liyana.

After dinner, reached home nearly 11pm seh. Tired!!! And the ride back home was so uncomfortable, as I had so many things with me.

Nak nangis gitu.. But terlalu penattttt sangat. Now my back and legs are aching...

Do pray for me...

After reading Raudah's blog, cam.... Tak tau ape nak cakap. Really touched me.

Here I am thinking about results and all these, when there are more important things to think about.

And to think I'm having a bad day, someone else probably had a worst day than me. Probably not having enough to buka puasa...

How selfish can I get...

Let's pray for each other and for Syiqin...