In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, The Most Merciful



Asalaamu Alaiakum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatu Dear brothers and sisters in Islam,

In the last part to this series: ‘Doorway to Fitnah: Freemixing’, we discussed how it all starts out: very innocent. A sister adds a brother, or vice versa. The brother and sister start talking for hours each day, neither believing what they are doing is wrong, or will lead to anything. However, they both soon discover they have developed feelings and have expressed it to one another. So their friendship has now turned into…a relationship?

Insha’Allah in this part we will discuss how the shaytan whispers to the brother and sister to take their friendship ‘up a notch’. One little baby step at a time until it leads to one sin after another…

Doorway to Fitnah: Freemixing

Part 2: ‘Friendship Turned Relationship’

---Written by Sister UmmLulu----



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Ok, wake up are you dreaming!! He just said he likes you, and you like him back! Ya Allah. But he doesn’t know it yet, you haven’t told him. A million thoughts are running inside your head. It seemed like just yesterday you just met this brother, now you guys like each other? How, when, where, say WHAT? What to do now?

The brother is waiting for your reply! So much pressure!! And you don’t want to sound like a dork! Say something!

Without thinking you type:

“Lolz, no way….Me too :)

Wait what? Was that even a complete sentence, what does that even mean? Ahhh, frozen… you can’t think of anything else to say. God, you feel like a complete idiot now. :/

Wait the brother responded back with a smiley face! Oh wait; it’s the type that winks!! Those are soo cute. Wait what does that mean? Does that mean he thinks you’re cute too!? This feeling of happiness comes over you, like you are the happiest woman in the world! You never felt like this before.

You continue talking…like you normally would. Except it’s not normal anymore, things start to change…

After saying good night you head to sleep. Now a thousand and one thoughts are running through your head. Now that you are not talking to the brother, the thoughts about you and him eventually getting married and living a happily ever after get interrupted by ones of GUILT and of DOUBT. Something inside is warning you, like your internal compass reminding you that you are not heading in the right direction. That something is definitely wrong!

You ask yourself would I ever, ever step up to a brother ‘offline’ to tell him that you like him back? Ewww NO. NEVER. Not in a billion gazillion years. So why tell him online? Is it any different? Would you even step up to a brother PERIOD? Just to ‘chat’ when you are at school, the MSA or the Masjid? Astaghfirullah x 231212. No, you wouldn’t even dream of such a thing!!

Then why talk to him for hours online….especially now when you both have feelings towards each other!!?

And your parents? They trust you so much, and now here you are in this…’friendship’ with this brother. What if they knew? What if they found out?

The guilty feelings feel like a hot fever running through your whole body. You are completely overwhelmed.

After an hour or so of debating yourself, you come to a conclusion. You tell yourself to stop overreacting, and that this isn’t really a BIG deal. That you have complete control of the situation! Besides, even if you do both like each other, it’s ONLY online. It’s not ‘real life’. He’s so many miles away on top of that isn’t he?? How can you even do haraam? That’s like impossible! Astaghfirullah, it’s not like you are in the same room, so the hadith about being alone doesn’t’ really apply, does it? Yes, if a non-mahram male and female are alone, shaytan is the third with them. But that’s only if you are in an ACTUAL room. IMing is different, of course it is! You tell yourself it’s like black and white, it isn’t the same. And besides you are not going to let shaytan get you to commit major sins because of this harmless friendship. That’s the end of it!

The next day you talk to the brother. And you continue talking to him for some time. Before you know it, you have nicknames for each other. Aww almost like a real couple! You joke and laugh about everything. You get along so well! Your ‘friendship’ is slowly developing into a relationship. The brother tells you in one conversation: ‘I love you’ and without even thinking you reply: ‘I love you too’.

WAIT! LOVE! STOP! WARNING! CAUTION!

You push aside your internal warning messages and continue laughing it up with the brother.
Things have drastically changed now. You and the brother are so attached. You can’t go a day without talking to each other. And even when you are not talking to him, your head is filled with thoughts of him. Even during your Salah you think about him! Ahh, no!! Concentrate on praying to ALLAH! You can’t, it’s impossible. You can’t stop thinking about him whatever you are doing. Argh. It feels so good, but at the back of your mind you KNOW this is SOO wrong.

Each day you can’t wait to finish your work. Time is going by too slow; you just have to talk to him. Ask him how his day was and tell him how much you missed him. So he can tell you how much he missed you. Just like in the movies! You are so perfect for each other!

When you talk to him, you try not to be obvious so others can’t find out what you are up to. Your parents or siblings walk by and quickly you close the IM window or the browser you are viewing. They can’t find out. What would they think!! They would think you have a boyfriend or something. And Astaghfirullah you are not that type!! I mean you are not married to the brother, or engaged for that matter. But you are definitely NOT his girlfriend. Muslims just do not do that!

You start becoming extremely suspicious of everyone. Even your own friends! Who knows, they can find out…and sell you out!! OMG and then tell your parents! You start cutting yourself off from them slowly. You only need this brother anyways, and that’s that!

Now the brother and you have been talking for months. You share everything; you know everything about each other. You even share pictures. You try to choose the best ones for him, of course with Hijab!! Not too long ago, you thought such a thing was detestable.Sharing pictures? Astaghfirullah might as well put myself on display at a store window, right!! But now your heart has changed, and your desires are doing the thinking for you.

Before you know it, you are even calling each other!

You have changed completely. But you do not realize it. You remain in denial. You give yourself excuses so as not to feel guilty. Excuses like someday you will marry each other and it’ll be all fine then. You refuse to think about the Islamic ruling on such a relationship. And furthermore, you don’t take into consideration what your parents would think of that idea? What?!! You met him online? When?? And for how long did you know each other?? And all that time you didn’t tell anyone?? It was a secret? What else are you hiding!! Wait, no! Save that drama for later!!

Have to return back to thoughts of him!

You don’t realize that shaytan is shooting you with one poisonous arrow at a time to eventually lead you to even bigger sins. He has made his place on your keyboard. He’s very comfy there and intends to stay as long as possible! Day in and day out, he whispers to you both to go one step further until he finally has you where he wants, and that is the HELLFIRE as his companion…SubhanAllah.

You remain blind as he deludes you with false ideas of ‘love’ to keep you continuing this relationship which isn’t even acknowledged in Islam.

Meanwhile inside, even though you try to suppress it as much as possible, you feel like you are slowly loosing yourself, your modesty and your imaan bit by bit.

Will you wake up before it’s too late? Will there come a stopping point where you finally decide enough is enough, no more haraam. No more texting, calling, IMing, picture-sharing. No more of this love relationship that has developed from a once innocent friendship?

Or will you continue as you are?

More days, more months until finally…


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Please stay tuned for the next part: ‘Pathways to Zina’. In this third part Insha’Allah we will discuss Zina (adultery/fornication). The sister will come across some powerful reminders about this major sin and the many pathways to it.

But will she heed them?

Or will she continue her relationship with this non-mahram brother and...will they eventually fall into it??

Insha’Allah stay tuned.

Please share this series with all of your friends.

BarakAllahu Feekum

Wa’Salaamu Alaaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatu

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Remember Marliyana, REMEMBER this: Day in and day out, he whispers to you both to go one step further until he finally has you where he wants, and that is the HELLFIRE as his companion…SubhanAllah.

Syaitan will do whatever it takes to lead you there. Increase your zikir, increase your doa, increase your selawat, increase your qiyam. Remember Allah. Remember Allah.