I'm excited about driving tmr, whee~!

At about 7.30pm I saw Mahirah posted a pic of her tudung on this tudung hanger that I'd been looking for. Found out that Ikea sells it at $9 only compared to prices I've heard, straightaway after Isya' I changed and got my dad to drive me to Ikea, and in less than an hour, I was safe and sound with 2 of such hangers hehe. 2hours later, I've hung about 50 of my tudungs and realise more than 20 are the plain ones that I usually wear, and more than 20 others are the designed ones which are smaller, and thus I rarely wear. AND I realise I need another of such hanger for my shawls, no space oredi :s

My point is, wow that was a fast (and rash) decision! Haha

Driving is at 10.20-12.00 tmr. Then I have 2 1/2hrs to travel to school and zohor. Argh it's tutorial tmr and I haven't done it. by hey I finished reading about the seed plants life cycle before Bio today and by the time I reached Tiong bahru on the way home, I'd finished Chonrichthyes and Osteichthyes. Gotta finish tutorial before class tmr...

Today we had a field trip to Botanic Gardens. Interesting though it was pretty hot and tiring, had to be careful with my footing on the slopes we went on... trust our prof to go off the walk trail...

Oh today is Pink Hijab Day! Yay for pink! Haha, and I realise I have alot of pink tudung but very few pink tops.. Hmm...

I wanna shop for pink tops, shirts to go with skirts, skirts and shawls, but.... not this month... I'm scrimping every cent I can. Driving (school) is costing me a bomb. Sheesh... next pay still need to pay for December bookings. Please please please let me pass before I turn 22... I wanna drive officially! Haha, but for now still alot to learn... So yeah, let's take things slowly...

Alright world, I should attempt to do my tutorial, or at least go to sleep...

Oh and I got the abaya that I wanted yesterday! Turns out that it's only $35~! Ok ah tu! For a very soft, thin, sejuk-material abaya :)))) I'm so happy!

However... The stupid POSB atm machine probably decided that my card is too old and swallowed/retained my atm card... :( Now I can't withdraw cash, and I'm almost cashless... I can borrow from Mir uh, or the others but... aiyah! Why you swallow my card!

Wah, I reached my room a few minutes ago to hear my neighbour shouting (I think at her roomie). It was in Mandarin so I don't understand larh haha.

Once again Mir is not here. Home alone haha.

Turned out I had fever this afternoon, and as predicted, now it's better already, though I really shouldn't push my luck and go get some early rest today. At least 1 person said I looked very tired today, and one even gave a passing remark, "get well soon!" and when I stared as her wondering how did she know, she shrugged and said she was assuming. Okayyyy, I must look very sick then. But ya larh, I fell asleep twice as soon as I rested my head on my arms today. But hey, I didn't fall asleep in lab & lecture!

We had to identify the different mitosis & meoisis stages in onion root cells, broad bean cells and grasshopper testes cells. I was straightaway reminded of Twilight (not that my partner looks like Edward or anything haha, my group mates were Amirah, Yasmin & Sebastian) and how they could recognise the stages immediately upon looking into the microscope. Firstly, under the microscope, you have to move here move there before you can find a set of properly squashed cells, then you have to look for those which are dividing, of which there are more than 1 cells at different stages!!!

I was also reminded of my SIP/MP and my fly ovaries! I sooooooo miss lab work!

Anyway, we had the first lecture with Dr Yan for this sem just now! Whee! Btw, his hair is like white already larh, but his style of teaching is good. :D We missed him... I could understand his lecture 100% today, and we were learning something rather new (with application from last Sem & from Dr Lee's lectures)!

Urgh, I hate to put my MSN status on online, cos the notifications are so irritating.

Alright, gotta finish my tutorial. And I hadn't been a good casper! Hehe, casper is the name given to the so called 'admin' person for a week or two...

Mahmudah & Harizah were so surprised to feel my forehead so warm. Haha they said that when I told them I was feeling cold earlier on, they thought it's just me being me (hmm do I feel cold that easily? I thought I've got lotsa fat insulators in me haha)...

Oh, and I bought a bag for $13. Needed some retail therapy! They were selling abayas in school! But there were none that I fancied. Actually there was one, but someone bought it already. I saw it as the person was making the purchase, awww, it's k, I doubt it was my size anyway... The stall sold shawls as well, but I was so paiseh to look at them. Besides Amirah said Chinatown has shawls 4 for $10! I wanna go see! Though I have no idea where is it exactly, how to get there, when can I find the time to go, who would be so kind as to accompany me there and what does the shawl really look like :( We'll see. For now, I shall be happy with my new bag :)

My hp inbox is superbly full. I want a new phone, though I'm rather certain I can't find one that is nice yet have what I like about my current phone.

There's so many small red ants on my bed!!!!!

Okok gtg gtg!

Saw this on Liyana's tumblr...

Seandainya telah engkau catatkan
Dia akan menjadi teman dalam menapaki hidup
Satukan hatinya dengan hatiku….
Titipkanlah kebahagiaan diantara kami
Agar kemesraan itu abadi
dan…ya ALLAH ya Tuhanku yang maha mengasihi
Seiringkanlah kami melayani hidup ini
Ketepian yang sejahtera dan abadi
Tetapi ya ALLAH…
Seandainya telah Engkau takdirkan…
… dia bukan milikku…
Bawalah ia jauh dari pandanganku…
luputkanlah ia dari ingatanku
Ambillah kebahagiaan ketika dia ada di sisiku
Dan peliharalah aku dari kekecewaan
Serta ya ALLAH ya Tuhanku yang maha mengerti
Berikan aku kekuatan
Melontarkan bayangan jauh ke dada langit
Hilang bersama senja nan merah
Agar ku bisa berbahagia walaupun tanpa bersama
Dengannya….
Dan ya ALLH yang tercinta…
Gantikanlah yang telah hilang
Tumbuhkanlah kembali yang telah patah
Walaupun tidak sama dengannya
ya ALLAH ya… Tuhanku…
Pasrahkanlah aku dengan takdirmu
Sesungguhnya apa yang telang Engkau takdirkan
Adalah yang terbaik buatku…
Karena Engkau maha mengetahui
Segala yang terbaik buat hamba-Mu ini…
ya… ALLAH ….
Cukupkanlah Engkau saja yang menjadi pemeliharaku
Didunia dan di akhirat
Dengarkanlah rintihan dari hamba-Mu yang daif ini….
Jangan biarkan aku sendirian
Di dunia dan di akhirat
Menjuruskan aku kearah kemaksiatan dan kemungkaran
Maka karuniakan aku seorang pasangan yang beriman
Supaya aku dan dia dapat membina kesejahteraan hidup
Ke jalan yang Engkau ridhoi
Dan karuniakanlah padaku keturunan yang sholeh….

Amin… ya… Rabbal… Alamin…

source: http://id.netlog.com/adinda_dedek/blog/blogid=3107

Ustazah Sakinah messaged me from Malaysia yesterday! I was so touched at her concern that it truly made me smile. Thank you for the advices, tips, reminders...

But as I was tossing and turning on my bed last night, I realise I couldn't sleep, again, If you know Marliyana, you know that I fall asleep the moment my head touches the pillow, sometimes not even halfway through my surah2/doa before sleep. Yesterday, after I finished all surahs and doa tidur, I tossed and turned, and tossed and turned, and tossed and turned, and finally decided to read my notes. Nearly 1am, I forced myself to read, I finished a second set of surahs and doa before I finally go to sleep facing the wall.

It got me thinking... Is what I told Ustazah as the source of the emo-ness, really the source? Or could there be something else? Hmmm...

I don't know...

Today's lecture was 3hours, with 2 breaks in between, and I took a nap during the second break (yesterday I fell asleep in lecture, but since I studied it in poly before, and I read through the slides already the night before, it was ok, I could catch up). The lecturer was very draggy, going on and on about the same point. I think I forgot to set my niat when I entered the lecture. But seriously it was really draggy, my friends were already drawing on tissue papers and all.

Oh lunch was a long and lonely affair, which I don't mind one bit actually. I haven't been having the proper appetite to eat. Yea I complain when I missed a meal, but really I don't really have much appetite I normally do. I've been asking for less rice. Yesterday I skipped breakfast, and today I am about to skip dinner (except for biscuits). And I took one hour to finish my lunch, I had to take a break like twice in between. Normally if I'm alone, I can finish my food in 10-15mins, cos I feel that the faster I finish eating, the faster I get going on to doing other things.

And when I went to Juring Point to buy some necessities for my room, I didn't feel compelled at all to buy a doughnut, or a cake, or a fruit or any kind of food at all...

But I did some shopping, if you can say so. Whiteboard, keyboard protector, pens, stapler, organizer... Things I need la. I am glad I can control myself from buying on impulse even when I'm shopping alone. I like shopping alone. I can enter a shop as many times I want, I can spend forever going around a shop, I can browse books as long as I want... If you get what I mean...

I wanna buy a new phone, so I can change to student plan. But I feel that there is no phone as durable as the China phone I'm using. I dropped it from a standing position and it works perfectly well. I've had water on it so many times and it's still working perfectly fine. And it had a loud radio and tv which I need staying in hostel... The only things it lacks is a much much bigger storage space and the better camera (despite being 8MP, it is always so dark).

Ok, I am ranting actually...

Had silat just now. For the second time ever, I couldn't wait to go for training, and both times the trainings are for seni... I think I prefer seni to tanding, despite how imperfect my moves are. Unfortunately, I wasn't chosen for the seni team. Quite sad about it, cos it means I only have tanding to prove my worth in silat! I think I have my theories ok, but practical-wise, I'm still so slow at applications. Need to work on balance, range, speed, accuracy and strength, woah. But yes, no doubt it is a good workout for your mind and physical self... I just hope to avoid any major injuries in future. The sprain (and to think how silly did I sustain the injury - losing baklance!) still makes me uncomfortable...

I should prepare for meeting with Sham tmr...

It's still the first week of school, and I have so many things on my to-do list!!!

Now I remember who was the doctor I consulted with at polyclinic just now! No wonder his name on the door rang a bell, I just read an article about him recently! Like what, less than 10 days ago?! Here!

So anyway, I reached the polyclinic at around 3.30pm and was asked to see a general practitioner first. Asked for a female doctor, none was available. Happened that I got a male malay doctor. Oh well. (SEE SEE I TOLD YOU THERE'S SO FEW FEMALE MALAY DOCTORS! That's why I wanted to be one, but hajat tak kesampaian, turns out I have a different path waiting for me...) When I reached his door, I saw the name and thought that it sounds familiar but I couldn't put a finger to it.

When I went in the see him, he looked so Chinese and asked in English that I ended up talking English to him, until he talked abit of Malay that I was convinced he's Malay afterall haha.

So anyway, he took a look at my previous medical history (I am a polyclinic kid inside out since young, no family doctors for my family cos my dad worked in the police force and we had medical benefits from polyclinic, and now's my turn to work for the government so yeah) and commented, "you're quite terror huh, so many injuries in the past". LOL, I was literally racking my brain what kind of injuries had I sustained before this, other than a recurring achilles tendonitis??? Then he asked when and how did I get my finger hurt (at this point, I already felt super silly for seeing a doctor for something as minor as an almost-immobilised finger, but I WAS REALLY WORRIED it could be a fracture and boo hoo if I'd have to learn to write with my left hand!) so I told him uh, got hurt during silat yesterday when my friend kicked my hand, and he was like, "woah silat, no wonder so many injuries." right now I'm wondering if he had the correct list of medical history, cause until now I don't remember any serious injuries!!! No broken bones or fractured bones or bad swelling or edema or lost a tooth and such whatttt...

But anyway, I told him uh those past injuries (while still wondering what those past injuries were he referring to) were not due to silat. Then he went on to ask if I was in national team (gosh no, I'm still very much an amateur! 3 months of training, 1 time tanding only ehhhh), which school's team am I in etc. He was surprised to hear NTU has silat. Erm? But he went on to ask if I know this guy, I'd forgotten the name already, who oversees silat from NUS/NTU or something like that... I just went blank. Didn't expect to be talking so much to a doctor haha. He's a friendly doctor, making his patients at ease.

I think the only reason why my medical history is made up of injuries instead of cold/flu or fever and such is because I don't see a doctor for cold/flu or fever. who needs a doctor telling you you have a fever when you obviously know you have a fever?? Just get plenty of rest at home, and don't spread it, in the case of cold/flu.

I took some painkillers, not that I'm gonna eat them... Just that I feel silly for spending like less than 1/2hr at the polyclinic for nothing. I'd only eat the painkiller if it's unbearable, which I doubt it would. Kinda immune to it already after spending one whole day having my pain receptors around the sprained (that's the only thing I say why there's pain) area transmitting pain signals to my brain. I can feel the stretch from my finger joint all the way up my right arm. But he said there's no fracture, means no fracture lor. I can straighten my finger, i just can't bend it, meaning I can't ball my right hand into a fist, or hold a pen properly (I haven't tried though), or eat with my hands, or type as usual etc... He just ask to put ice on it...

I can remember how painful and numb my hand felt after Mir kicked it yesterday. I couldn't pasang cos I couldn't feel where my hand/finger was! And my hands shook extra hard after the hit. Yet everyone must have thought that I'm such a ninny for reacting to such a minor injury, if they'd even call it an injury. But really ah, I didn't know how to react! Tell me how would you react if, no matter how much you want to continue the fight, you can't feel your hand cause it's in pain???

Speaking of reaction, the doctor said if it was a fracture (cos initially he did say he felt a gap along my bones, though err, that turns out to be a natural gap I have on both hands), the reflex action would be me hitting him already when he presses on the bone. Kau, drama seh. As much as I was in drama (which Mir finds it surprising. Mir calls me "unexpected". Silat, drama, motorbike. So unlike me, yet... haha) I wouldn't do that seh. At most I'd wince and tears sprout out of my tear ducts. Or worst case scenario, jerk my hand back and scream. Takdelah sampai pukul dia kan!

Oh, I've gotten my sleeping bag ($8.99 only!!!) and insect repellent. And a few other 'unnecessary stuffs' which mounts up to $52 plus. Aiyo... My mum spent more today. Finally she got her steam iron that you iron vertically, induction plate/hotplate and a mini ricecooker (for days only two people in the household are eating). I was tempted to buy this portable mini-stove. $30 plus only, but I think we can't cook IN our hostel rooms, so what's the point of buying...

Kk, gtg, meeting Nazihah soon, and bro Hamid's family, including little Sakinah! I've bought something for her. Have I ever said how enjoyable it is to look through baby stuff? :D

I hadn't been listening to music the past few days, unless it happens to be on radio in the car or on tv that I wasn't intentionally listening to. No Windows Media Player, no imeem, no youtube, no MP3. No Twilight songs, no nasyids.

I'm missing Twilight, but I've survived many days without it.

Anyway, my pointing finger on my right hand hurts when I move it. Wonder if there's a fracture or muscle tear or something. Gonna go see the doctor after their lunch time I guess. Better get it checked. I thought of visiting the dentist as well, but I don't think I have time. Cos I still need to find my sleeping back, insect repellent and torchlight, which means I need a trip down to Giant...

So, how did I get a painful finger, and a bruised shin, and aching buttocks and back and such? Silat.

Had silat training yesterday after about a month of no trainings due to exams. I thought it's gonna be a refresher course. Yes it was, and more! We did new things like group kicking (it's harder if you're holding the padding than kicking, sakit la woi kena attack continuously for 10x3 kicks), practicing defense to spontaneous attacks in pairs (I enjoyed Shaza's mentoring, I learned alot! the most since I joined silat I think. Cos she was able to pinpoint my mistake AND suggest how I can improve, which I did my best to. And she gave constant words of encouragement that kept me motivated and wanting to give my best one round after another, trying to be better each round.), wearing the vest (I felt like ninja turtle. comfortable uh, perhaps cos I didn't get super hard kicks from opponents yet), leaarning the point system (interesting! SEA games ade silat? nak tengok!) and of course a taste of how tanding is like (coach put me against Mir who is much taller, bigger and stronger than myself, and Syaza whom I had practiced with. Menggeletar gilerh eh tangan bila pasang, and continue to menggeletar badly after training ends. Mir accidentally kicked my finger, tulah sakit ni. and she masuk & angkat me after grabbing my leg during a kick effortlessly and landed me on the ground.) I can't wait for the next practice for tanding! The adrenaline rush is superb! Even if it left me breathless halfway (dah lama my heart didn't need to work too hard to send oxygen to all my muscles). Just before training I told Mir I may be quitting ilat next year, which I really was planning to. But now, maybe not! Silat gerek la seh! It makes you on guard at all times always anticipating attacks and how to defend, at the same time thinking of combos to successfully attack your opponents vest. It is a physical and mental art and sports. Woo hoo! Hmm, that reminds me, I need socks with friction soles to wear for silat, and black indonesian tudungs for safety purposes, yet maintaining aurat.

Oh what makes yesterday such a great day was: I got to go shopping!!! I spent like $150-$200 yesterday, spending at Tampines, Geylang & Bugis. I went Orchard as well, but we couldn't find a suitable present for my eldest bro, so we ended up eating late lunch there only.

Let's see, I bought 4 pairs of socks, 3 trackpants, shampoo, conditioner, 2 Glade scented gel, hairband, 2 pyjamas, 2 bandanna, 2 jubah, 1 kurta, 2 tudung, 4 sarung tangan and 3 shawls, woo hoo! Best shopping sakan ;) Plus the two shoes I bought previously, I'm complete from head to toe :P I'd wanted to buy face towel, a small sling bag, a skirt and another shawl, and my parents urged me to, but I felt that they weren't as necessary. My dad event urged me to buy this $99, after discount, checkered shirt from Levis, but I don't think that is at all necessary. Most of the things I bought are to prepare myself to go on a camping spree for 9 days straight, afterwhich I'd dump them at hall. Hmm, I still need my sleeping bag, insect repellent and torchlight. And mind you, I'm still eyeing a Samsung phone!

Of all the things I bought, my favourite is the white satin jubah. I'd always wanted something white, but can never find one that is not jarang, until... yesterday. :D Initially I thought it was too expensive. $59 for a plain white jubah with a bit of sequins on the waistline. I walked around the pasar Geylang somemore until it was time to get back to the car, that I thought, ok why don't we try asking for discount. I'll buy if she gives discount to $45. Turns out, she gave until $40!!!! According to her, because it is white, she can give at a cheaper price. And she thought I was going umrah, I wish. But the jubah simply makes me so happy! This is the second time I bought a jubah from her shop. I very much liked my first fairy-tale-jungle-like green and red jubah which I wore for raya, and now this white jubah. I'd love to visit her shop again the next time extra rezeki comes my way.

The skirt was very nice. My mum would love to see me wear skirt. Truthfully, myself too. But I find wearing skirt so leceh. Cos, I'd still wear pants underneath, so it kinds of defeat the whole purpose of the skirt. Besides my mum ends up saying I look like minah Malaysia wearing skirt with knee-length shirts, but I've dumped my short shirts!

Ok, my finger is hurtinggggg, and I should be on my way to the doctor now actually hehe.

Oh after silat yesterday, Mir's mum drove me home. But we stopped at Woodlands for awhile, supposedly to give Mir's bro some cash for his retreat to Johor with cousins, ended up I followed them to have dinner at Rasa Rasa. I envy how close they are with their cousins. So fun. I used to be close to my cousins, but somehow or rather, after we started sch, we started seeing each other less until it's like once, or twice, a year kinda affair.

I should really be going. Hopefully I get to go Giant today. And hopefully my finger is just slightly sprained, no fractuer or anything. I wanna tanding somemore!!!

Thank you Allah for a really good day yesterday. Please make today better than yesterday, and tomorrow better than today and so on :)

Marliyana ada banyak cerita niari. Marliyana tak tau nak mula dari mana. Random k.

Marliyana lapar. satu hari cuma makan kuih belanda (yang biscuit roll tu), nasi minyak pat jemputan tengahari tadi dan 1 roti sardine bersalut telur. Tapi kat rumah tinggal maggi je and Marliyana ngah pikir banyak-banyak kali pasal MSG dalam maggi. Marliyana taknak jadi bodoh. Marliyana suka jadi pandai.

Marliyana niari bangun awal. Pukul 2 pagi bangun belajar Tafsir, pukul 4 tertido, pukul 5 bangun balik, pukul 6 tertido, pukul 7 bangun balik. Alhamdulillah dapat habis 90% ulangkaji, tapi bila duduk untuk exam tu cam tak tahu cammane nak apply. Lagi-lagi kertas 2, closed book, dia mintak hukum yang rajih (ni ok jugak) berserta hujjah-hujjah ulama'-ulama'! Nama ulama' semua dah mixed up, apa tak nye ada agaknya 20-30 hukum. Nak hafal ayat-ayat Qur'an & hadith-hadith tak kesampaian, jadi exam tu tulis ajelah sehampir mungkin dengan dall-dalil yang ingat. Tak exact words.

Exam tafsir tu kat Jurong West, dekat dengan NTU/NIE. Lepas kertas 1, Marliyana langsung mulakan Kertas 2, tanpa rehat 1/2 jam seperti lazimnya sebab Marliyana nak cepat. Lepas Kertas 2, Marliyana singgah asrama jap, pastu ikut parents gi jemputan kat Chai Chee. Pat jemputan ada kawan dari masjid istighfar, kenal dari ITQAN & qiyam pat En-Naeem kelmarin, jadi kendarat. Tapi tengok dia, dia buat bodoh, takde wajah untuk menunjukkan dia recognise Marliyana pon, jadi Marliyana pon buat bodoh ah. Makanan pat jemputan tu sedap, rasanya sama caterer dengan caterer untuk majlis makcik Marliyana minggu lalu. Creative kalau tak silp. Gitu lah namanya.

Lepas Zohor, Marliyana gi madrasah pat Tampines pulak, untuk Kertas Kepimpinan Dalam Islam. Marliyana rasa Kertas 1 okeh, tapi sebahagian daripada Kertas 2 susah sangat. Marliyana main hentam aje.

Lagi 5-10 minit nak tamat peperiksaan, Marliyana hantar kertas sebab dah tak boleh fiir lagi. Marliyana jumpa parents pat Afghanistan, minum bandung dalam beberapa teguk sahaja terus jalan-jalan sikit ngan mak. Baju-baju dekat daerah situ lawa-lawa, dan walaupun rasa perlu untuk beli baju baru, Marliyana tak beli sebab tak bawak duit lebih, dan malas nak withdraw. At last, mak Marliyana belanja beli 2 pyjamas, sebab pyjamas yang ada dah tinggalkan kat asrama. $6 kat lelong, murah lah tu.

Malam, Marliyana ikut mak dan makcik Marliyana jalan-jalan kat Tampines. Nak katakan shopping, boleh jugak arh. Marliyana beli 2 kasut & 1 seluar tracks. Memang dah lama nak beli kasut, untuk pakaian semi-formal kat sekolah & untuk bila pakai jubah (tak senonoh gitu pakai jubah abistu pakai kasut $6.90 yang mak label sebagai 'kasut nyonya' yang Marliyana biasa pakai tu), jadi bila ada kasut semurah $10.80 & $15.90, Marliyana belilah.

Itu je kejadian hari ni sebenarnya...

Tapi adalah hal-hal lain. Marliyana masih memikirkan tentang apa yang Marliyana 'belajar' Jumaat & Sabtu lalu. Walaupun Marliyana belum dapat menerima semuanya dan memberikan kata akhir, sekurang-kurangnya, Marliyana rasa Marliyana dah mempunyai suatu pendirian yang sesuai buat masa ni, supaya tak terlalu stress fikirkan ni.

Marliyana rasa Marliyana banyak stress kebelakangan ni. Sebab asyik pening-pening kepala macam migraine. Nak jumpa doktor macam tak perlu, tapi takut jugak kalau ada apa-apa tak kena. Semoga dijauhkan sebarang penyakit dan musibah. Amin. Lebih-lebih lagi Marliyana baru-baru ni dengar cerita ada orang sakit-sakit kepala, rupanya darah tinggi sampai satu hari tahap tekanan darahnya terlalu tinggi sehingga urat dalam otak pecah menyebabkan stroke sebelah badan dan kehilangan kebolehan untuk berkata-kata.

Oh, kelmarin bila Marliyana pergi Body Worlds, Science Centre & Imax Theatre dengan Harizah & Mahmudah, case kamera Marliyana hilang. Dah cari & dah laporkan, sekarang Marliyana redha & tawakkal sahaja. Mudah-mudahan Marliyana dapat balik, tapi kalau tak, mungkin Allah akan gantikan dengan yang lebih baik... Cuma, kalau Marliyana hilang kebolehan untuk menggerakkan setengah badan atau untuk bercakap, tu Marliyana tak pasti jikalau Marliyana dapat redha & tawakkal. Mudah-mudahan dijauhkan musibah seperti itu...

Tadi petang, ada kawan tu sms Marliyana, tapi mungkin cara Marliyana kurang menyenangkan hati, Marliyana rasa dia merajuk dengan Marliyana. Marliyana tak tau apa nak buat. Marliyana tak pandai nak pujuk orang, lebih-lebih lagi melalui sms. Nak call, Marliyana macam takut pulak kalau dia marah dengan Marliyana. Jadi Marliyana buat bodoh. Serba salah pulak rasanya. Tapi Marliyana benar-benar ada hal Selasa malam ni... Memang boleh skip, tapi... entah. sememangnya Marliyana serba salah.

Besok malam kawan Marliyana nak pergi Laos, bukan untuk Sea Games, tapi untuk buat kebajikan. Marliyana rasa Marliyana nak hantar dia sampai airport. Marliyana suka jalan-jalan kat airport sebenarnya. Marliyana rindu sangat nak naik kapal terbang... tapi...

Parents Marliyana dah benarkan Marliyana bercuti dengan kawan sepanjang dua minggu ke Australia bulan Jun depan. Marliyana pon dah bilang kawan Marliyana tu. Sekali, bila belajar untuk exam Tafsir tadi, Marliyana terlintas dengan suatu hadith, tak pasti riwayat siapa, dan samada ia sahih atau tidak, tapi Marliyana yakin Ustaz cuma menggunakan yang sahih sahaja untuk menyokong hukum-hukum yang disebut dalam nota tu. Sabda Rasulullah s.a.w.: "seorang wanita tidak dibolehkan keluar bermusafir lebih dari tiga hari kecuali ada bersamanya mahramnya." Marliyana yakin parents & abang-abang Marliyana taknak (atau tak mampu, maklumlah bujang nak kahwin...) pergi Australia. Jadi, rasanya Marlliyana terpaksalah batalkan nist nak kesana, melainkan pada masa tu Marliyana dah ada suami, dan kemungkinan ini rasanya amat tidak berkemungkinan langsung... Tengoklah macam mana... Kalau ada rezeki dan telah ditetapkan Marliyana akan dapat jejak Australia, maka suatu hari nanti Marliyana akan jejak juga. Lagipun keluarga Marliyana sedang menghadapi sedikit kesempitan wang jugak, jadi... yelah...

Tapi Marliyana sedih jugaklah. Dah ghairah sungguh... Mungkin nanti Marliyana cari lebih lanjut pasal hadith tadi kott. Niat Marliyana nak pergi Australia pun, selain untuk 'lari daripada dunia Singapura 24/7' adalah untuk menziarahi Umairah untuk melihat keadaan belia-belia Muslim disana, dan untuk mengalami melihat kangaroo yang bermacam-macam jenis di sana sini serta mengalami snow, kalau berkesempatan.... Takpelah, Marliyana simpan niat tu baik-baik okeh.

Tadi semasa nak berjalan ke majlis jemputan, Marliyana nampak motor (vespa agaknya) warna pink yang comel dan lawa sekali. Bila Marliyana tunjuk mak Marliyana, mak Marliyana setuju ia cantik, dan lebih penting lagi, mak Marliyana setuju kos motor lebih murah, dan ia lebih laju maka ia merupakan sesuatu yang praktikal bagi seorang pelajar. Mak Marliyana nampak ok aje kalau Marliyana nak amek lesen motor. Kalau ye betul Marliyana cekal hati untuk dapatkan lesen motor, Marliyana nak dapat sebelum Ogos tahun depan, jadi bila Marliyana masuk tahun kedua, Marliyana tak perlu sewa asrama lagi, dan kos asrama serta kos makan minum dan tambang bas dan sebagainya dapat disalurkan untuk membayar harga motor dan minyak. Yang membuat Marliyana teragak-agak ialah Marliyana rasa malu nak belajar motor, memandangkan yang belajar motor kebanyakannya lelaki... Marliyana tak selesalah nak langkah naik motor semua depan lelaki...

Marliyana singgah kedai singtel & Starhub tadi. Marliyana amat tertarik dengan telefon bimbit Samsung Preston, Samsung Jet & Samsung Omnia II. marliyana sebenarnya dah sediakan wang untuk untuk hp baru, tapi cuma Marliyana malu nak tanya-tanya harga dekat kedai. Lebih-lebih lagi kalau tukang jual tu jenis yang tak kuasa nak layan orang. Maklumlah orang ramai beli i-phone, Marliyana tak pandang pon telefon tu. Bila malu, Marliyana gagap & teragak-agak nak berbual, sampai salesperson tu pon tak paham apa Marliyana nak. Yang Marliyana dapat tahu tadi, Singtel kira mengikut per minute billing, dan Samsung Preston berharga $48 dengan student plan...

Kelmarin Marliyana berasa ghairah tentang Persantren Kilat. Marliyana yakin sangat ia mungkin merupakan sesuatu yang dapat mendidik dan merubah Marliyana menjadi lebih berdisiplin sebagai seorang Muslimah dalam amalan-amalan harian. Marliyana pon dengar feedback yang positif dari Mahmudah. Tapi lepas Marliyana dapat ketahui lebih lanjut, Marliyana jadi kurang pasti pulak. Mudah-mudahan niat Marliyana yang asalnya tercapai, disamping mendapatkan pengalaman baru...

Marliyana rasa Marliyana dah tahu kenapa Marliyana bersikap sangat temperamental kebelakangan ini, dan Marliyana semacam tidak boleh mengawal perasaan marah atau irritated. Bukan sebab Marliyana rebellious. Marliyana cuma kehilangan kesabaran terhadap setiap yang berlaku. Marliyana perlu lebih relekskan diri dan minda supaya tidak terlalu wound-up... Ya Allah, berikanlah aku kesabaran...

Marliyana tak tau kenapa alih-alih Marliyana blog sebegini. Marliyana memang rasa lain semacam gitu, tapi tak apalah. Marliyana dah ngantok. Dah lebih satu jam Marliyana taip. Marliyana nak tido. Marliyana dah penat berfikir. Marliyana nak shut-down buat beberapa jam...

Started the week feeling motivated, was erm... tired and sleepy when it reaches Wednesday and Thursday afternoon but the motivation is back!!!

I dunno, but I think thinking about NI simply kindles a fire in me. I can't sleep thinking about NI. Chewahh, cam real. Jap lagi, think punya think tertido jugak...

Anyway, do you know what is Senah Gelap? Tak tau kan kan? Meh kiter bagi tau. It means 'snuggle up', haha in bahasa ape-entah (in dunno-what language). K, not funny, I know.

Spent alot today. Splurge!!! Not that I've gotten my allowance yet. No! Let's see, I've bought presents for 2 friends costing me $15 altogether. Photocopied and binded 2 sets of a booklet which costs $9.40, dang! And to make myself happy after all that forking out, I bought myself 3 sushis - 80c + 90c (supposed to be $1.80 but got 50% discount one). Yeah they filled my tummy, but man... they don't really make me feel happy. Especially when I needed to pay library fees, which adds up to $14.10, not to mention another $5 cashcard top-up! Gosh. In total is like $45.20!! Wow. That doesn't include my lunch, which fortunately didn't cost too much. $2 + $1 for drinks and another $1.(20 I think) for another drink.

Oh, TLL has got a new fish tank, with a handicapped turtle, 5 more big fishes and dunno how many small fishes. According to Ya Zhi, that turtle is a soft shell one, which can be eaten. Hmm.. Eww...

My digest didn't work well today. I suspect the reagents were contaminated, either SAP or klenow. I'm sure I did everything else properly!

Feeling excitedly sleepy. Erm, yea...

SIP is getting slightly better. MP is taxing (*gasp* proposal!!) So ppl, if you had separate SIP and MP, don't complain. I shouldn't be complainig either. Hearing about the 2 earthquakes at Pakistan (eh?) killing 160 dear to the others, and leaving 15000homeless, I should be grateful.

'Have you Heard'
Each day we are reminded
and each day we say
there's not much that we can do
it seems so far away
So we live our lives in silence
pretending not to hear
the voices of our people
The cry is so so clear
Why do we stand by spectating
while our brothers cry jihad?
We are bound by one conviction:
we believe in Allah
Have you heard of Kosova, of Afghanistan?
Have you heard of Palestine [2nd chorus: Bosnia]
of Chechan?
Have you heard of all these people
persecuted in their land?
Do you know that all these people are dying for Islam?
Have you heard, have you heard
have you heard?

'Forgive Me When I Whine'
Today, upon a bus I saw a girl with golden hair,
And in my heart I wished that I was just as fair
When suddenly she rose to leave, I saw her hobble down the aisle.
She had one leg and wore a crutch, but as she passed, a smile.
Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 legs to walk upon and the world is mine.

I stopped to buy some candy; met a boy who had such charm.
We talked, he seemed so happy, if I were late, it do no harm.
And as I left, he said to me, 'Thank you, you've been so kind.
It's nice to talk with folks like you. You see,' he said, 'I'm blind.'
Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 eyes to see the world and the world is mine.

Later that day on my way, I saw a boy with eyes of blue.
He watched the other children play; he did not know what to do.
I stopped a moment, then I said, 'Why don't you join the others, dear?'
He kept on looking straight ahead and then I knew he could not hear
Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 ears to hear the world and world is mine.

With legs to take me where I'd go.
With eyes to see the sunset glow.
With ears to hear what I'd know
Oh the world is mine

I stopped for a moment, just look how much I have
Everywhere, in all our lives, these are His signs

Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have been blessed indeed, and the world is mine
Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have been blessed indeed, and the world is mine

Oh my, TGIF! Thank God it's Friday!!!! And thank God there's no Titisan trg tonight!!! Lol, sry peeps, I'm juz so exhausted wokay...

But had fun ealier, walaupon sorang macam budak bodoh. I walked around TM and CS after Asar. My plan was to look for a bag (I was actually planning to buy this $19 waterproof bag and $49.90 Fila butterfly bag) but after walking around my eyes caught on more things than my pocket can fork out lol.

So initially I still wanted those 2 bags, just that the $19 was already $20, but after all those walkings, I saw another bag $29.90, a Fila shoe $39.90, 3 dresses $10, $15 and $25, Ozozo wallet $36, MYUK bag $36, MYUK wallet $29/$36 and MYUK small shange pouch $7.90. Oh God, all those totalled up to more than $150!! No no, I can't afford all that! Even after raya... So, mother to the rescue!!! I know I'm gonna hate having her to stop me buying what I don't need, but I had to ok. So in the end I just bought the Fila shoe, a bag that wsn't even in my list of wanted bags (the $29.90 one was just right but I think it was pig skin, and I touched it!!!) and the MYUK small change pouch. I'm so in need new tops and bottoms ok. And I'm still eyeing the $20 bag and the Ozozo/MYUK wallet alright. Dang, hari raya is gonna be over soon! haha, I sound so bad right? But pls eh, I don't go raya just for the money. Prove is, the following pics. Pics of great memories spent with my friends and we didn't get no money in moooooost of the houses. We even forked out money k. :) So next up, as promised: the long-awaited pics (or shall I say memories?)...

Here are pics of Titisan Jalan Raya '07 dated 4th Nov, Fityan Gema Ghufran Perjumpaan Hari Raya '07 dated 3rd Nov and below are pics of NI Jalan Raya '07 dated 27th Oct. Enjoy! Anyway, malas ar nak caption, so tengok pics je cukup la eh.

I had a great day yesterday. Walaupun penat, aku tak menyesal!

Went out with Jamie and Ad yesterday afternoon after class to look for a new bag to replace my almost-torn-and-tattered one. I saw this really nice one at the Fila shop at TM but I just can't decide on whether the white one or the pink one fits me better! Ishk, so indecisive of me. Pasal bag pon pening kepala apa dah. Anyway thanks for accompanying me, Jamie and Ad! Oh, I bought a new letter set, can't wait to write to Sylvia in it! So glad there's the shop Lovely Land which recently opened at CS. It sells cute stuff, including letter sets! I don't have to go so far to Kino to buy letter sets anymore!

Last night I followed NI to visit Nenek Zaurah and Nenek Rokiah at Chai Chee. It was an interesting experience I tell you! I've said it, and I'm gonna say it again, tak menyesal beb! The group started with 3, then 5, then 6, then 7, then 10, then 11, then 8, then 5 and you get my point nvm haha. When we knocked on Nenek Zaurah's house, she sounded angry for coming at night but when she let us in, she was so hospitable. A very nice nenek living all alone in a small yet cozy house/room. She insisted we drank and ate. She even served us food and lauk lemak nangka! It was really simpla fare, but what do you expect someone living alone to have? A feast? The food were from the fridge and it wasn't heated. Some of us couldn't eat it, but some of us did. Aku no prob. Cuma sambil jamah makanan tu (dan diingatkan oleh kakak2 di situ untuk put my shoes in the nenek's), macam sebak. Macam mana agaknya aku nanti. Lama lagi, memang. But time flies. One day I could just say, "It seems like yesteday that I visited those neneks at Chai Chee. How I wish someone would visit me today..." Lagi satu, I wonder how my parents would be. Nenek Zaurah was sad that her anak2 only came on the first day then after that the house was silent until we came. Sedih tau!! I hope my parents wouldn't be like that. Takut2 sekarang I visit nenek2 ni then sampai masa my own parents I tak jaga. Astaghfirullah. Ya Allah, ingatkanlah aku tentang semalam bila perlu aku disedari. Amin.

Nenek Rokiah on the other hand was already waiting for us. Just as (or was it before) we knocked on her door, she opened it. She was expecting us and received us with open arms. We ate and drank and she told us HER story. Her children are great. One even sends a maid once or twice a month to clean her house. Just that her health is failing and next year we may not see her (terkejut sekejap bila dengar ni) as she might be at one of her children's houses. She told us about her grandchildren. Hmm.. Budak2 tak tau apa yang dorang cakap tapi boleh tersinggung jugak hati orang. Nenek Rokiah told about the incident nonchalantly as if it's just a small matter but the fact that she remembered it and told us about it proves something else. (Cheh, baru one tut one lec on psycho dah pandai anak mak lol jk) Her granddaughter who is 7 yrs old called her stupid cos she dunno how to use the computer. And according to her, her grandchildren don't wanna come her house cos there's no computer, there's no internet and all... Hai, nenek aku pon takde computer, takde internet but some of her grandchildren seems to flock to her (and live with her), maybe except aku...

Let's take this as a lesson to be learnt la eh. What goes around comes around therefore do unto others how you want others to do unto you. Entahlah quote dari sape tapi sekarang ni, inilah jadi antara satu prinsip hidupku. I wanna visit the neneks again!!! Let's make it a point to visit them once in awhile, just to see how they're doing, to listen to them and cheer up their day! I wanted to visit Nenek Patimah. The other day she had so many stories to tell, but I forgot her door number... Besides, she doesn't open her doors at night she told us the other day.

On a happier note, Puan Hafifah just had a granddaughter! Kak Wani initially said that she's a handsome baby boy hehehe, sekali... Her name's Ayuni (I'm pretty sure it's not Ayumi) Hidayah and she was born on 10th Oct 07 (10 10 seh) cum 27th Ramadhan just after midnight (aisehman, imagine if it was lailatul Qadr) and she's so adorable!! Oh oh, and it's such a small Singapore! I didn't realise I was in Nawawi's house until I saw the family pic. Tak kusangka my Sec sch classmate is Puan Hafifah's son! Anyway, lupa pulak... Happy Birthday Kak Sarah!!!

I had Titisan this morning. It was... like a meditation class hehe. Cuma difference dia kan, in yoga you put all your worries away and go out relaxed whereas in Titisan you put your worries away and insert the worries of your character's!! Lol, selamat ar korang yang character bermasalah... I'm an 8 year old kid who's pissed off at her irritating younger sister and I tell you it's hard to get out of the character! I'm so easily pissed off these few days, perhaps cos I'm getting into character. Sorry Ad, Jamie, Zakiah and who else found me easily irritable this week and the following weeks till Pentas is over. Jangan aku jadi budak 8 yr terus lepas ni sudah. I need to learn how to get out of character when I need! Time AGM last year, I remember I was Sleepy, as in you know Snow White's seven dwarves? Even after AGM, once I step into Titisan room I become sleepy. Haha, is this what being conditioned is? I hope I do a goos job for Pentas! Eventhough Fifi and Hid says there's never a redundant character, I feel mine is, but I shall still do my best to put up a convincing act :) Aku rinduuuuuuu acting!

Let's see.. My first act was in the Royal Murder with ELDDS in Sec 2 or 3. I was a servant to the queen. Then there was Racial Harmony Day act with ELDDS again. I was a Chinese mother, kene cakap cina tauu! Then I was one of the fairy godmothers in my class act for Teachers' Day. We had to do a grease dance kwangz! Then in Titisan, I was involved in AGM as mentioned above. Then there's Salam Aidilfitri in which I made an entrance of just 15 sec and left haha but I was the Asst Director and honestly speaking, I sucked at it. Last but not least was Pentas Janji where I was one of the angels. Enjoyed the stomp. Tak kisahlah org kata merepek ke, tak menjadi ke, sungguh tak angelic ke, I liked it. And Ad came to watch it! In the red dress we chose for her! Appreciate it gurl! There was also this year's AGM when I was IC of the costume and PPP when I was props mistress. Finally there's Pentas Rahsia of which I'm the props mistress again and I'm gonna be one of the extras in Titisan's show. Hopefully everything goes well. I'm waiting for the props list from Fifi.

Okok, side track jauuuuuuuh sekali. Dah dah, I've got work to do! Coming up next, pics of NI jln raya insyaAllah!