It just crossed my mind today. Haha. Know why? Cos I kept 'talking to myself' in my head practically 24/7! But I'm not talkative. I'm just... thinkative haha. In other words: INTROVERT. And proud to be one!

I met a fair share of talkative people the past few days. Talk and talk and talk non-stop. Sometimes I find it too noisy and irritating.

I just love talking to myself. And because of that, I love to blog! There's so many things I wanna share since the last post but I dunno where to start! Hmm, let's do a list of FAQs haha!

FAQ 1: How are you?
ans 1: Alhamdulillah, praise to allah I'm still alive. And yes, I can walk normally again already. And my bruises are lightening. It's rather scary to see a big patch of blue flesh, then yellow flesh haha. Muscle strains... On and off. The wound which had been hurting the most, was actually just healing till this morning! On Friday after the nurse cleaned the wound and bandaged it nicely, I felt really comfortable and almost like no pain at all! But after I changed myself (or asked my mum to assist in changing it), okok uh, uncomfortable. I think I put too tight or something. This morning, someone go and bang into my arm, like OWW oww OWW. Till now can like feel the sting. And the pain reaches the bones. Feels like I just knocked my elbow on a rock. The pain actually goes all the way up to my left shoulderblade la sey. I think cos too tensed with trying to control the pain. Oh well.

And I just noticed, how come there's so many white cars huh?? I can't really say it's trauma or the after-shock and whatnots, cos I don't really know what is it. But I can't help taking notice of every single white car in my way!

Yesterday I left TLL late and I had to wait for the shuttle bus for about 15-20mins. Meaning I had to watch so many cars pass by (some sprint by) in front of me at the scene of accident. Erm... Ok. And I almost cry. Though I think it's more because of impatience than of fear haha. And I keep hearing a car approaching. Though I think it's because I was listening hard for the bus screeches!

For 2 days, I had my lunch at TLL. Lazy to go out, rain, don't want to wait for bus, short incubation time are just some of the reasons why. I can't really decide if the accident is another reason. But I did tell myself I'm like NEVER gonna have lunch at Science sch anymore for the remaining SIP days = 10 weeks. It takes too much time to go so far, and I don't wanna rush rush anymore, which could result in another stupid decision like crossing across the road infront of a gigantic bus at a narrow bend. Real stupid thing to do. REALLY STUPID you know.

FAQ 2: How's SIP?
ans 2: Ok. Coping. Out of 5, maybe like only 2 days I go home at 6. Heck. Hectic. So many things to do. Especially yesterday. I had to continue almost everything I was doing last Wednesday and cos my mentor continued a bit for me, I had to figure out where she stopped so I can continue from there. Quite confusing. Aiyo. And I've got so many vials of flies collected already! And because it's Monday, I have to transfer EVERYTHING to new vials with new yeast paste etc. Not as easy as it sounds ok. And also because it's Monday, most of the puppae has developed into flies! Meaning I have to filter through like hundreds of flies to collect the crosses I want.

Anyway, I'm putting quite a lot of things I've learned together to get the bigger picture, especially with restriction digestion, about the enzymes (what buffer to use, what temperature to set reaction at, how compatible etc), about how to know whether it's cutting or not, about digest set-up the reactions (as in how much of each reagent to use, what temperature, how long, whether to add SAP or not, whether to make blunt end or not etc) yea... And pcr, and sequencing too. I love practicals! I love lab work! EXCEPT the part where I need to write report. I don't mind doing these minor minor SIP stuff, which sometimes are the cause of me going home late, and recording them down. I love it! It's the MP that rather sucks.

FAQ 3: How about MP?
ans 3: Well, partly not so well. This week is my fourth try at the same experiment I've been doing! No results or insuffient results the past 3 weeks! So sian know! I've still yet to start my MP workbook, *gulps* What more my MP report! *cries* Anyway, is anyone willing to help me copy back all my experiments, under confidential agreement (I'm serious, I'll make you sign a letter of agreement), into my MP workbook X2 (one copy for school, another for my mentor) for $10? Really, really I'm serious. Criteria: Handwriting like mine, can write fast and free on Saturdays haha. No I don't think this is an offense, right? I'm really tired of writing. And all ideas for the workbook, aim, materials, method, results, discussion ALL will be by me. I just need someone to help me write!!! And it's not bribing la, it's a little token of appreciation for the help.

Oh anyway, my mentor has really high expectations of me. She's trusted me with TWO of HER projects know. and I've disappointed her time and time again. Haiz... But trust me, I give all my best for everything. But I dunno, despite knowing I'd given my best, I still feel disappointed with myself and guilty sometimes.

FAQ 4: How's social life?
ans 4: Sad :( I hadn't met my NI, Fityan and Titisan peeps *sniff sniff* And almost all have no idea how I am either, cos I can't be bothered to contact them, to ask how's things, to update on myself, to listen etc. Socialising can be tiring, especially for an introvert like me. I've got many different worlds to visit you know.. Haha just kidding, I'm not crazy la deyy.

But I gotta say I'm so glad for the friends I have at TLL! Especially Hui Yi, JJ and Aaron. They make SIP/MP all the more fun/bearable (respectively). Sometimes I just go up to them and make funny faces to destress haha. Funny faces like silently screaming under all the instructions my mentor asks me to do. It helps y'know.

Oh, that's all people frequently ask these days.

Now on to random stuff!

Hmm... Like what eh? Forgot.

OH! I think I'm gonna do something on the last day of SIP. I'm gonna go crazy on my mentor HAHA. I mean all these while I just nod nod and say "ok", "yes understood", "alright", "can" to her know. I think on the last day I'll go wild! Whee! I hope she'd be surprised. Hehehee. Gosh, I'm thinking of these stuffs know...

I might be meeting Fityan peeps this Thursday and Sunday and Titisan peeps perhaps tmr and Friday. Oh no, NI usrah on Friday! Erm, alamak, I forgot! Geez... NI dearies sisters, can we meet up on Saturday pwease?
I'm free the WHOLE of Saturday.

Apart from those above, I have a few other things to look forward to. Like... Akikah at Ghufran, Korban at Malaysia, brothers' birthdays (and hopefully no stupid stunts by them to make my family tensed and hopefully get eat seafood!!!) New Year, end of SIP, end of SIP celebration aka Seoul Garden outing!, end of the whole SIP/MP ordeal, birthday, graduation!!! And for now, for my wound to heal completely hehe. It's mostly pink flesh oredi. Parts of it look like raw meat still though, eww. But no more sluffy!! Dunno why the nurse call that. Sluffy = pus discharge aka infection.

I shall put aside thinking about what to do after SIP ends after SIP ends, haha. I dunno what to think now. There's so many things I wanna do, so many I wanna achieve! Really, it keeps coming to me the part about me wanting to be a doctor, a gynae specifically. I want to be involved in bringing lives into this world and seeing the tears of joy in many many people's yes! But doctor means medical school, which means competing with the best of the best with such an average results that I have. Med sch take in like distinction students, top students, super excellent students! How? Should I pursue? Do I have the guts? Is this what I'm meant to do, what I really really really wanna do?

To my multiply contacts: this is referring to my blog, so yeah...

Finally, I've changed my blogskin! I love the song as I set my ears to it last week. And ever since it's posted on the blog, I'd left my comp on throughout the night to listen to it and bring me to a relaxing mode. I need it badly. My muscles are so tensed... The first day I listened to the song, I wake up in the morning in a reflective mode and cried... Cried my heart out I should say, till I felt better.

Anyway, the slideshow with the header 'loves' are really the things I love. Not all the things I love though, as I don't have pictures of everything right.. But yes, I love my family, and I love my friends, I love Islam, I love beautiful sceneries, I love bright moons, I love sunrises, I love beaches and seas, I love camps, I love cats, I love butterflies, I love flowers especially ginvera, I love clouds, I love taking pictures of the things I love, I love Science, I love practical work (when I can understand what I'm doing, and it doesn't take too long) and more! And I miss some of these things I love... *smiles*

I need a massage badly. I'm getting frequent muscle cramps these days. Dunno if the accident plays a part...

Right now, my back and shoulders really hurt. Gotta go sleep! Toodles noodles!

Oh oh, I really wanna post this up!! Scroll of responsibility I'd call it ;)


If you wanna know more about NI, wanna collaborate for an event or something, you may contact me. :) PM me, tag me or something kays.

I do love art too y'know. The different forms and types of art. I'm not good at it, but I appreciate it. I can't draw the difference between a human head and a cow head I think haha. Try googling about forms and types of art! Anyway, anyone interested to go to the Biennale exhibition with me? I'm still free this Sat ;)

Oh, and I'm really itching to be involved in organizing something. Gosh but I can't!! I really can't commit :(