Came across this video quite suddenly. The video is kinda relaxing, macam tak kena dengan lagu, tapi takpelah sebab lyric lagu pon best.



Allahu Akbar…

If you ask me about love
And what i know about it
My answer would be
It’s everything about Allah
The pure love, to our souls
The creator of you and me,the heaven and whole universe
The one that made us whole and free
The guardian of HIS true believers
So when the time is hard
There’s no way to turn
As HE promise HE will always be there
To bless us with HIS love and HIS mercy
Coz, as HE promise HE will always be there
HE’s always watching us, guiding us

So when the time is hard
There’s no way to turn
As HE promise HE will always be there
To bless us with HIS love and HIS mercy
Coz, as HE promise HE will always be there
HE’s always watching us, guiding us
And HE knows what’s in all in our heart

So when you lose your way
To Allah you should turn
As HE promise HE will always be there…

HE bring ourselves from the darkness into the light
Subhanallah praise belongs to YOU for everything
Shouldn’t never feel afraid of anything
As long as we follow HIS guidance all the way
Through the short time we have in this life
Soon it all’ll be over
And we’ll be in His heaven and we’ll all be fine

So when the time gets hard
There’s no way to turn
As HE promise He will always be there
To bless us with HIS love and HIS mercy
Coz, as HE promise HE will always be there
HE’s always watching us, guiding us
And HE knows what’s in all in our heart

So when you lose your way
To Allah you should turn
As HE promise HE will always be there…

Allahu Akbar…

So when the time gets hard
There’s no way to turn
As HE promise He will always be there
To bless us with HIS love and HIS mercy
Coz, as HE promise HE will always be there
HE’s always watching us, guiding us
And he knows what’s in all in our heart

So when you lose your way
To Allah you should turn
As HE promise HE will always be there…

Allahu Akbar…

I cancelled this Thurs' driving lesson. Not because I'm giving up or anything like that. I just need some time to stand up back and continue the fight. If it takes forever, then so be it. I am not someone else. I am me. And I shall take the time I need, as long as I don't give up. Gotta keep trying till I get it right. I AM giving my best, and that should count for something right?

This song helps:



I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

Another song that is in my head... Ok actually not the whole song, I didn't even know what's the song about till today. It's the phrase that strikes me... "I'm sorry I can't be perfect"

This song is suddenly on my mind... tried to find a music video, but all are of bad quality... So just the lyrics will do.

Siapalah aku ini
Yang ingin memetik cintamu
Siapalah seadanya
Diriku di sisimu

Kau punya segalanya
Sedangkan aku insan hina
Hidupku penuh dengan kisah duka
Antara kita jurang nya berbeza

Biarlah usahlah
Bermain dengan api
Kelaknya terbakar sendiri

Biarlah tersimpan
Segala perasaan
Rahsia hatiku terhadapmu
Siapalah aku

I didn't exactly have a good day today... Was so tired in the morning that I decided to skip class (thank God he doesn't take attendance). Dah siap tau, tinggal pakai tudung, then merengek to my mum taknak gi sch and she allowed. Tapi mak pesan... Sekali takpe, jangan selalu2! Hehe, insyaAllah tak. So right after that, tukar to home tshirt and continue to sleep... All the way till nearly noon, terbangun and realised I'm late for driving! Merengek to my dad pulak and there I was at Ubi in time for my practical.

Today's driving spoilt my day. My 6th lesson! And I stalled thrice, boooooooooo. As usual, we don't have unnecessary chats in the car... It's all business. Seriously, he looks so unmotivated and unenthusiastic, as if he's been forced to do this. And he scolded me :( Not shout at me uh, but like reprimand gitu. I still don't understand what am i supposed to look out for when I 'check blindspot' or 'check mirror', so I asked him explain again arh, and he said, "Just now you said you got it?" Blergh. He makes me sound like I can't drive. Hey, like duh, I can't drive and that's why I'm here to LEARN to drive right?

I was so demoralised that I had no mood to write in my notebook about what I learned as I usually would, right after the lesson. Especially since what kept ringing in my head is that: Amalina spent two weeks and only about $200 of crash course and passed on her first trial and Mahmudah said last week that she started learning all the other things after just a couple of lessons while I'm still driving around correcting gear and signal and such for the past 5 lessons. Ya ya, I'm such a slow learner when it comes to driving but hey I'm trying my best! Ni yang buat malaaaaaaaas nak continue driving tau, I find no support. Yea my parents, especially my mum, want me to pass so much but they don't understand how hard it is for me and how much is this costing me financially and emotionally!

I pretty much did nothing today but sulk in despair. I feel like cancelling this Thurs' lesson. Got no mood...

I was really thinking about asking for a change of instructor, but firstly, the process sounds tedious and... also when I think back, although Andrew made me comfortable and almost stress-free with driving, he didn't spot my mistakes, I wouldn't learn that way... Haiz, I shall let things flow then. I have about 3 more months to improve... Really, as much as I want to pass just to prove to myself that I can do it, I'm really doing this for my mum... at least to stop her from nagging. My innate motivation for this is depleting though... *sobs*

I just feel like I have alot of troubles on my shoulders, I just feel pinned down, and I can't move forward. There's so many things to do and I dunno where to start!

I feel so small, so insignificant, so useless, so stupid... It's demoralising! I was trying to find something to cheer me up just now, and found nothing... I don't think I'd given a single sincere smile today... :(

Everyone seems to have something they're good at. I don't seem to have any... Or at least I have yet to find it. I'm sure Allah didn't create me to fail at everything. I'm sure there's something special about me, right? That will help me fulfill the purpose of my creation, whatever that may be... Adakah kamu kira bahawa Allah mencipta amu dengan sia-sia? Tidak sesekali...