Cepatnya masa berlalu... I took 2-3hrs to actually start doing SOME WORK (which was VERY little) then I did my laundry, bathed, prayed, put out the laundry and here I am at 3.54am. :(

I should really go to sleep, or at least continue my research paper, but I just felt like typing something...

I sat for my Organic Chem test just now. I couldn't do so many questions, cause I didn't finish studying. I feel so disappointed in myself. I'd taken Organic Chem in poly before and if I'm not mistaken, I got an A or even a distinction! But this, I screwed up one of the 3 lab reports and the test (15%of overall) just now so I guess, there goes my 30%. How to get A!!!

I was too tired.... Yikes.

Nak kata I regretted becoming a faci for Finding Seacreo, not really. I guess I just didn't manage my time well, boo hoo... So disappointed in myself :'(((

It was another enriching experience being a faci for Finding Seacreo. This is my second time becoming a faci, and it was really different from the first one. The pax were younger than Radiate (except two), the group was mixed of which only 3 were girls, my faci partner is a guy (Faizal btw), I had TEN pax under our care, it was outdoors (about 8 hours with 2 races in it at Sentosa) and we as faci were also the game masters and safety officers. Stress I tell youuuu... I don't think I did a good job. I think I failed to carry out the amanah properly. I am glad that at least 5 of them enjoyed the camp, I guess the programmes were fun, alhamdulillah. I hope they learned at least ONE beneficial thing from the camp...

For the next two weeks, I have my Saturdays full, and I'm scared it would tire me out again. My first paper is on 21st, 8 more days only. 8 days to cover four subjects with 8-20 topics each *faints* I need to get the momentum back (the camp really broke my momentum) and be focused and disciplined with my revision. And I MUST finnish this ALS research paper by tmr night to send for draft safe assignment and peer review...

I am worried why I can't seem to get anything done at all... and time flies so so fast! I'm scared... I wanna do well this sem. I really do. I must pull up my GPA... :'(((

This made me smile, made me laugh, and even brought tears to my eyes....



There is nothing wrong with being average :)

Macam mana ni...

I just sat for Bio test just now. I have no idea how I did. I just hope I did ok...

Got back the Chem test from last week's. My second F in uni. Same lecturers. Purposely seh set it hard. Lesser Fs this year (and NO As too btw) and I'm still one of them :(

Demoralised seh. Exams in two weeks. No study break. Two more quizzes in between... Can't wait for hols.

My confidence has been crushed twice. TWO MCQ quizzes seh I didn't do well, when in fact I was confident I would be able to do well... I have another MCQ/short ans quiz tmr and I'm at the 2nd topic, and I have no motivation to continue. When I study, I keep reading and rereading to ensure I get all the facts right. And when anyone asks me anything, I don't have the confidence to give an answer and be sure that it is correct. So sad right...

It's not that I don't want to help my friends, but I'm afraid that I'm not even helping them in the first place, by giving them the wrong answer. I'm doubting myself! I used to be so sure of what I say, especially when it comes to Science. I'm the one who'd understand what is being taught in lectures and would help to explain to Ad when she doesn't understand. Now, I can't even be 100% sure that what I know/understand is right!

So sad...

Someone asked me, is uni easy?

My answer: definitely not. Anyone who says that it is easy must be a genius or must be crazy.

Uni is certainly NOT easy. It is a fact that I am struggling in NIE. I can't give up, and I never will...

I keep comparing poly and uni life, I feel so suffocated in uni. Eventhough my timetable (just lecture after lecture after lecture, except for lab once in awhile) now is less hectic than poly (lab every week, tutorial every week, projects in between, Fityan activities, Nur Ikhwan activities and whatnots), I feel so so tired. I sleep late almost every day. I seem to be running after time all the time. I am never ahead of it. I find it so hard to finish work on time. Or to produce quality work, because I'm just so so tired...

But I have to keep myself motivated. Just keep swimming. Just do and do and do. One at a time. It is very very tiring and draining. I can't seem to be doing anything else other than study, do assignment, study, do assignment...

I really miss poly life. Uni is crazy. It takes a lot to remind myself what am I doing here...

I'm glad I have helpful friends who'd motivate me, who'd help me out when I'm stuck etc. Harizah and Mahmudah may be struggling with their studies too, but they seem to be coping better than I am. They manage their time well. They seem to finish everything early. It is rather pressurizing, but I guess it's a good pressure...

Ya Allah, permudahkanlah aku memahami apa yang aku pelajari...

I guess, I need to put in more effort to berusaha and to berdoa... Perbanyakkan selawat and munajat. May Allah ease my tasks for me...

Only great minds can read this
This is weird, but interesting!

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it.

I know this email is like so outdated but it just made me feel smart HAHA.