Alhamdulillah RYC camp was a success, if I may say so. I hope I am able to attend the post mortem... I missed the post camp debriefing as I had to rush to madrasah, which I was already late for actually...
The RYC closing was... a doze-off ah I have to say. By the time we reached the muhasabah part, I only heard "imagine you are on top of that hill" then off I went to imaginary land. Tau2 da habis haha.
But then, the effects of the muhasabah session during RYC camp is still lingering. I need constant reminders like this. But well... I guess if it gets too often, we'd get used to it pulak till there aren't any effect.
I'm loving the songs on Fityan blog. THAT is a good reminder. Cause if I'm not mistaken those were some of the songs played during the muhasabah session.
The muhasabah session smacked you up down left right front back I tell you. Bengkak mata sampai nak bukak pon susah.
Damba CintaMu oleh Raihan
Ya Rabb, Ya Rabb...
Tuhanku ampunkanlah segala dosaku
Tuhanku maafkanlah, kejahilan hambaMu
Kusering melanggar laranganmu
Dalam sedar ataupun tidak
Kusering meninggalkan suruhanMu
Walau sedar aku milikMu
Tuhanku ampunkanlah segala dosaku
Tuhanku maafkanlah kejahilan hambaMu
Bilakah diri ini kan kembali
Kepada fitrah sebenar
Pagiku ingat petang ku alpa
Begitulah silih berganti
Oh Tuhanku Kau pimpinlah
Diri ini Yang mendamba cintaMu
Aku lemah Aku jahil
Tanpa pimpinan dariMu
Ku sering depanMu
Sering jua kumemungkiri
Ku pernah menangis keranaMu
Kemudian ketawa semula
Bilakah diri ini kembali
Kepada fitrah sebenar
pagi ku ingat petang ku alpa
Begitulah silih berganti
Oh Tuhanku, kau pimpilah diri ini
Yang mendamba cintaMu
Aku lemah aku jahil tanpa pimpinan dari mu
Kau Pengasih Kau penyayang Kau Pengampun
Kepada hamba-hambamu
Selangkah ku kepadaMu Seribu Langkah kau padaku
Tuhan diri ini tidak layak ke syurgaMu
Tapi tidak pula aku snaggup kenerakaMu
Kutakut kepadaMu
Kuharap jua padaMu
Mogaku kan selamat dunia akhirat
Seperti rasul dan sahabat
Alangkah Indahnya Hidup Ini oleh Raihan
Alangkah indahnya hidup ini
Andai dapat kutatap wajahmu
Kan pasti mengalir air mataku
Kerna pancaran ketenanganmu
Alangkah indahnya hidup ini
Andai dapat kukucup tanganmu
Moga mengalir keberkatan dalam diriku
Untuk mengikut jejak langkahmu
Ya Rasulullah Ya Habiballah
Tak pernah kutatap wajahmu
Ya Rasulullah Ya Habiballah
Kami rindu padamu
Allahumma Solli Ala Muhammad
Ya Rabbi Solli Alaihi Wasallim ( 2X )
Alangkah indahnya hidup ini
Andai dapat kudakap dirimu
Tiada kata yang dapat aku ucapkan
Hanya tuhan saja yang tahu
Kutahu cintamu kepada umat
Umati kutahu bimbangnya kau tentang kami
Syafaatkan kami
Alangkah indahnya hidup ini
Andai dapat kutatap wajahmu
Kan pasti mengalir air mataku
Kerna pancaran ketenanganmu
Ya Rasulullah Ya Habiballah
Terimalah kami sebagai umatmu
Ya Rasulullah Ya Habiballah
Kurniakanlah syafaatmu
To share with you a story...
The last day…………….
Suddenly, there was a person who said salaam “ May I come in?” he asked
But Fatimah(SUA) did not allow him to enter the room.
“I am sorry my father is ill”
Said Fatimah (AS), and turned back and closed the door.
She went back to her father who had opened his eyes and asked Fatimah (AS), “ Who was he , my daughter?”
“I don’t know, my father It’s the first time I am seeing him,” Fatimah (AS) said gently.
“Know one thing…..!
He is the one who erases the temporary pleasure; he is who separates the companionship in the world.
He is the ANGEL OF DEATH”
Said Rasulullah (PBUH).
Fatimah(AS) bore the bomb of her cry.
The death angel come to wards him,
But Rasulullah (PBUH) asked why Jibrail did not come along with him
The Rusulullah (PBUH) looked at his daughter with a trembled look, as if he wanted to reminisce about every part of his daughters face.
Then , Jabrail was called Jabrail was ready in the sky to welcome the soul of Habibullah and the leader of the earth.
“O Jibrail, explain to me about my rights in front of Allah?”
Rusullah(PBUH) asked with a very weak voice.
“The doors of the sky have opened ; the angels are waiting for your soul.
All Jannats are open widely waiting for you, “ Jibrail said.
But, in fact , All that did not make Rusullah (PBUH) relived.
His eyes were still full of worry.
“You are not happy to hear his news?”
Asked Jibrail.
“Tell me about the destiny of MY PEOPLE in the future?”
Don’t worry, O’ Rusulullah;
The time for Malaeket Izrail to do his work became closer and closer, slowly, Rusulullah’s Soul was pulled.
It seemed that the body of Rusulullah (PBUH) was full of sweat;
The verves of his neck became tight.
“Jibrail, how painful this sakaratul maut is!”
Rasulullah (PBUH) slowly uttered with groan.
Fatimah (AS) closed her eyes,
Ali (AS) sat beside her bow deeply and Jibrail turned his face back.
“Am I repugnant to you that you turn your face back O’ Jibrail?”
Rusulullah(PBUH) asked to the deliverer of wahyn.
“Who is the one who could see the Habibullah in his sakaratul mout”,Jibrail said.
“Not for a while,” then Rasulullah (PBUH) uttered a groan because of unbearable pain.
“O Allah, how great is this sakaratul maut .
Give me all these pains, but don’t to my people.”
The Body of Rasulullah (PBUH) became cold,
His feet and chest did not move anymore.
With tears in eyes, his lips vibrated as if he wanted to say something,
Ali (AS) took his ear close to Rusulullah (PBUH)
“UNSHIIKUM BIS SALATI, WA MAA INLAKAT ALMANUKU”
“TAKE CARE OF THE SALAT AND TAKE CARE OF WEEK PEOPLE AMOUNG YOU”
Out side the room, there were cries, each one shouting sahaba holding each other,Fatimah(AS) closed her face with her hands.
Again, Ali (AS) took his ear closed to Rasulullah’s (PBUH) and with his mouth which became blish, and tears in his eyes,
He Uttered:
“UMMATII, UMMATII, UMMATII”
“MY PEOPLE, MY PEOPLE, MY PEOPLE”
Buatmu Ibu oleh Aeman
Ibu? bergenang airmataku
Terbayang wajahmu yang redup sayu
Kudusnya kasih yang engkau hamparkan
Bagaikan laut yang tak bertepian
Biarpun kepahitan telah engkau rasakan
Tidak pun kau merasa jemu
Mengasuh dan mendidik kami semua anakmu
Dari kecil hingga dewasa
Hidupmu kau korbankan
Biarpun dirimu telah terkorban
Tak dapat ku balasi
Akan semua ini
Semoga Tuhan membekati kehidupanmu ibu?
Ibu? kau ampunilah dosaku
Andainya pernah menghiris hatimu
Restumu yang amat aku harapkan
Kerana di situ letak syurgaku
Tabahnya melayani kenakalan anakmu
Mengajarku erti kesabaran
Kau bagai pelita di kala aku kegelapan
Menyuluh jalan kehidupan
Kasih sayangmu sungguh bernilai
Itulah harta yang kau berikan
Ibu? kau ampunilah dosaku
Andainya pernah menghiris hatimu
Restumu yang amat aku harapkan
Kerana di situ letaknya syurgaku
Tabahnya melayani kenakalan anakmu
Mengajarku erti kesabaran
Kau bagai pelita di kala aku kegelapan
Menyuluh jalan kehidupan
Kasihanilah, Tuhan?
Ibu yang telah melahirkan diriku
Bagaikan kasih ibu sewaktu kecilku
Moga bahagia ibu di dunia dan di akhirat sana
Moga bahagia ibu di dunia dan di akhirat sana
I'tiraf oleh Raihan
Wahai Tuhan ku tak layak ke syurga Mu
Namun tak pula aku sanggup ke neraka Mu
Ampunkan dosa ku terimalah taubat ku
Sesungguhnya Engkaulah Pengampun dosa-dosa besar
Ila hilis tu lilfirdausi ahla
Wala aqwa alnnaril jahim
Fahabblitau batau wafir zunubi
Fainnakarob firul zanbi azim
Dosa-dosaku bagaikan pepasir di pantai
Dengan rahmat Mu ampunkan daku Oh Tuhan ku
Wahai Tuhan selamatkan kami ini
Dari segala kejahatan dan kecelakaan
Kami takut kami harap kepada Mu
Suburkanlah cinta kami kepada Mu
Akulah hamba yang mengharap belas dari Mu
Personaaly I don't think I'd given my whole best for the camp. Could have contributed more. But let's just say I'm afraid I'd overshadow others, so I only carried out what I'm asked to.
I soooooo lack confidence to speak in public. Cammaner nak jadi Games Master?? Whatever I planned sumerr tak jadi tau. Yang jadi is suara menggeletar pat depan semua orang, aiseh bedah...
After the camp I was so tired that I slept all the way for 12 hours. Tau2 bangun time sahur pon dah nak abis. Padahal kan, tak buka tau haha. Niari pon I just buka bubble tea je. Lom buka betol2 lagi. Oh well, jap lah.
Rumusan of Fri-Sun
Late-Icebreakers-CheekyFacis-CrampRoom-UnexpectedChangeOfPlan-Buka@Musollah-LastMinPlanning-Terawih-WitirJemaahWithTsu-DarkRoom-GlowingStars-CreationOfEarth-WondersOfEarth-SurahRahman-TadarrusInteractive-Al-Nitak-Spaceships-Atmosphere-Moon-Calendar-Sun-Planet-Telescope
SafraYishun-AirShooting-ScoreCards-T-shirts-Rockclimbing-Shoe-Bouldering-Pictures-CommunityService-SurahQiyamah-Death-AzabKubur-Allah-Nabi-Parents-Taubat
LackOfSleep-Overslept-Video-Hugs-Assyakirin-pics-QuranRecitation-Muhasabah-Speech-Phototaking
And today was the start of my SIP. Ok lah... But I was still tired, I was given materials to read and I just dozed off in my chair. OPPS~ My supervisor is nice. But my mentor ar, hmm... Had to read LOADS of stuff and I didn't finish a single one. Nih I just received 3 more sets, what the?? Other than reading, learnt my way around, did gel casting and also PCR. Ok ah... But half the time I'm simply lost and I feel super STOOPID I tell you.
My supervisor told me and my friend to have fun. I think we had fun messing up haha.
BUT, one important thing I wanna announce: I wanna make this SIP/MP the turning point to make me MORE DISCIPLINED and to be HARDWORKING so as to LEARN AS MUCH AS I CAN and SCORE WELL. YESSSSHHHHHH...
K I'm waiting for pIcTuReSsSsSsSsS... I know there's ALOTTTTT... Nearly 1500 I hear, foo yoh!
K gotta start early tomorrow. And I've yet to finish my reading. And neither have I eaten!!! BYEE
