Okok, I shall try to make this my last post for today. I have my lab reports, one due this wed, another this fri, yikes!

I have something to confess... Or rather, something to let out larh. I guess it'll make me sound so sensitive, but really I wanna get it off my chest...

I don't like it that people ungkit about the RYC amazing race again and again. I've heard it a 1001 times before. The first time I hear it, I can accept it, cos I myself know it was badly done. On the day itself, I broke down, I broke down in the middle of the camp, because I have already realised how badly it was done and it was almost beyond my control to make things right because of the time constraint. Now that I keep hearing it again and again, each time I feel like crying. Because it isn't fair la...

You guys as station masters and facis have your part of your story. I have mine to. This is my part of the story:

First and foremost, I only joined the programmes team less than 3 weeks before the camp day itself. I met them on 19th (I hear what they have done so far and I just suggest how to improve), 21st, 22nd-23rd (faci trg), 28th, 30th (general meeting), 2nd (meet emcee) and the camp itself is on 5th sep tau... If you see properly, I only had 2 days, which was 21st and 28th with the programmers. I was supposed to help out here and there only, but ended up having to come up with the whole route on which group goes where (prog did the recce with me to identify the stations - it was a mutual agreement between the three of us on the stations being from end to end of Pasir Ris, NOT ME ALONE tau), all 15 games (ingat senang nak create 15 games macam petik jari?), all preparations for the 15 games (settling with logictics, printing out the puzzles, pictures and the station numbers - faizal only managed to help with the laminating on the day itself), finding 15 station masters (only to receive news from the comm that they just wanna use comm members) and the briefing for station masters (which had to keep postponing because firstly, no one can confirm with me who were to be the station masters, then the comm members were very busy and I only managed to sit with them before maghrib on the first day of camp, about 4hrs before the race).

To top it up, the head programmer is very new, it's her first time doing programmes, and so I was assisting her alot with the prog sheet, with the concept with linking to objectives and theme (a call to remember, spark for a change), spiritual booster (oso I prepared the slides) and keeping track of scores on the day itself. The other programmer was serving NS and could hardly do much. So yeah, understand our plight.

Plus, I have my own NTUMS Ramadhan adhoc event to settle, which was only one week away from RYC. It was a 4-man show, so all admin, publicity, programmes, logistics were under us. And, I had my GESL event to plan for - another amazing race, I was doing programmes too. And, I was still adapting to school. It was still my first month in school. Tutorials, lab reports, essays... And, I just started silat.

My hands were full! I sacrificed alot of sleep! I fell sick quite a number of times then.

I don't mind, I'll help where I can...

The thing is, I gave my best. That's all I can say.

My bad that I didn't foresee how tiring it would be for the facis and pax to be running from one end of PRP to another. I'm sorry. Yes, I am responsible for the Amazing Race. I do feel bad about it. I do feel bad that probably all the pax didn't enjoy the camp because it was too tiring. But then again, I am really sick and tired of so many people being so cynical about how it turned out with no one to back me up...

Each time I hear more comments about the race, the worst I feel. And I have withstood it since September 09. I keep telling myself that it is positive criticism; accept it, learn from it, and don't repeat it. Now is February 10, it's 5 months plus, I can't remember how many times I've heard comments about it. I can probably never forget the Amazing Race, because I don't like anything less than perfect, and of course, this Amazing Race was very far from perfect.

I just feel that I've withstood it too long, and this is the peak of it all. It is just too much and I can't stand anymore of it...

I have a meeting in 18 mins, programmes again. No, I am not sick of programmes.