I have no idea why I can't sleep eventhough it was already 2am in the morn!! Usually by midnight I cannot tahan oredi but yesterday 2am I was still wide awake.

And guess what? So was Hui Yi and JJ. So weird...

Wonder what was with the weather yesterday.

As for me, I was thinking of Fathi and then it occured to me what if both my parents and brothers suddenly disappear? So scary sia. I think that's why I couldn't sleep. I was actually 'planning' how to lead my life from then onwards. Gosh.

Opps I'm late in posting this but I hope you can still catch the Isyak prayer and the ceramah following that! InsyaAllah I will drop-by after maghrib myself:)

Was just feeling angry at my parents. I have a major report to finish and I'm left with like 7hrs to do so. And my mum insisted on dragging me out to attend a wedding invitation. I purposely asked, "Just one house?" and she replied "Yes, of course". I knew fully well that there'll be another wedding invitation and my dad will surely try to convince me to go.

True enough. On the ride back from the first wedding invitation, my dad tried it. But it just makes me angry. Why can't ANYBODY understand how tough it is to write a scientific major report on drosophila, nuage, germline cells, krimper, arganoute 3, aubergine, maelstrom, cutoff, krimper NT, krimper CT, in-vitro co-immunoprecipitation, reciprocal co-immunoprecipitation, in-vivo co-immunoprecipitation and immunostaining??? The key words themselves sound alien don't they? And oh by the way, my mentor probably expects me to write a report as good as an university student a.k.a. Ong zhi Yang her previous very brilliant student whose report i've read and could hardly understand.

I could have stayed at home what. The only reason for me to follow was that there's no food at home. Hello!! FYI my 2nd brother is at home sleeping soundly with nothing to do! And the fact remains that there's no food at home. Why can't he follow and I stay instead? Just because he's 8 years older than me??

I'm not angry at Zhi Yang, or at my mentor (who probably just wants me to get an 'A' for my own good), or at my brother (who does nothing and I can't blame him). I'm just angry why people refuse to accept that I have work to do??? Is it so hard to understand how much a good grade for my final semester at TP to obtain this diploma and a decent GPA means to me? How it would determine my next step in life??

After all these spiteful feelings, I came across this Canadian Muslimah's post titled 'Freeing the Heart from Spite'

*Sigh* But how to get rid of this spiteful feeling when they expect me to do well in diploma and go to university next by hook or by crook or suffer the wrath of the slashing words "I told you to spend more time on your studies", "I told you to leave all those nonsense what with Fityan, with NI bla bla, they don't need you", "I told you to sleep early so you can focus better the next day" etc etc etc.

You may laugh at the last sentence but yeah even that came out when I couldn't go JC due to a not so good 'O' level results.

How in the world am I supposed to do well when you don't help me out?

Time is so precious and I've spent 29mins so far blabbing on this blog. Grrrr...

At the very least, I ask that you do not tell me last minute. You could have told me a week earlier there are 2 wedding invitations on Sunday and I would try to manage my time properly, probably to skip the kendarat yesterday even if it's so troubling for Liyana so I can use the time to finish this report.

I thought my Sunday is specially put aside just for report.

Now you see. It's not really that I purposely procrastinate tasks given to me. But I can't help it, mostly.

I notice. Now my blog is only filled with angry rantings huh? SIP is taking its toll on me. I too await the cheery side of Marliyana who doesn't have so many things to juggle. Just 1-2months more till I am o-v-e-r with anything related to my diploma, which I'd been trying to prioritise over anything else so as not to disappoint my parents again. They won't care if I do well. As long as I can't get into uni, my grades won't be counted as 'well'.

I apologise if I hurt anyone by saying my results/GPA are/is not good enough when I may be faring better than you. I have high expectations to meet you see. And I can't be optimistic with little achievements.

I apologise too for not being able to make more time for you my friends. Right now diploma is really my priority. I try to balance my time, juggle things together, but afterall I wasn't born a clown and I'm unable to juggle even two oranges together.

I apologise for not carrying out my duty as leaders as I'm appointed. Truthfully I never believed I could, but I tried as I received he responsibility. I couldn't find the strength enough to reject the responsibility given to me. All I can do is to try my best. Do know that the tasks given to me never escape my mind. I can't stop thinking about them yet I find it hard to find time to do something about them.

K that's all. I gtg. In total I've spent 42mins typing this out. And I'm left with 2hrs 58mins to do something about my report before I'm due to go to the masjid for the Islamic New Year. Tonight will be 1430years since the prophet journeyed to Madinah where Islam began to flourish. And I would like to celebrate that despite my unfinished report. Islam shall always be first.

It's cool to read their blogs. Some are reverts. Some are already wives with children. I haven't read a lot, but 3 blogs attracted my attention (away from my MP report which I'm supposed to be doing, I must say lol).

One: German Muslimah in America
She's a revert who still lives with her non-Muslim family and she's still a student. One of her recent posts tells us how she handles Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations since she can't stop her family from celebrating them right.... Another interesting post is her latest one titled 'Some Life Lessons'. Go read go!

Two: Organica
She's an Egyptian Muslim studying in America I think. I like her posts about fashion! She puts together dresses and pants and long sleeved shirts with hijab and even matching bags and shoes. Though I probably won't dress that way since I'm always so lazy to put so many pieces together and I believe those tight long sleeved inside shirts do not cover the aurat as they show the shape of your arms but it's still refreshing to see people put pieces of clothes together to attempt to cover the aurat. She also posts pictures as you shall see in her recent posts and daily musings such as one titled 'Islam is Perfect, My Religion'.

Three: The Egyptian's Wife
Yup as her blog title reads, she's a wife to an Eqyptian man with four children. I think she was a Muslim even before marriage. It's interesting reading how she brings up her children bringing them to join in Eid prayers eventhough she herself is excused from prayers, getting them to pick up litters after the jemaah have left and asking them to time how long they take to finish their homework and rewarding them when they finish their reading assignments etc. Oh, and one of her posts remind me of the short sketch yesterday at Ghufran's Tathmin Al-Mibarrat hehe. Read about it here.

Other Muslimah blogs you can visit are:
1. Inquisitive Muslimah
2. Unique Muslimah
3. Beautiful Muslimah
4. Hijab Bosnia
5. A Hijabee in DC
6. Ideal Muslimah
7. Learning Muslimah
8. Humble Muslimah
9. Simply Muslimah
10. Diary of a Muslim Girl

Enjoy!!

5 Things I was doing 10 years ago

1) just moved house to Tampines
2) started in a new school - TNPS
3) started madrasah @ Ghufran
4) did quite badly in school, compared to my P1 and P2 days
5) did rather well in madrasah though, coolioz, but I like the oldest in my permulaan class!

5 Things On My To-Do List (not in any order)

1) MP report
2) SIP report
3) SOP
4) retreat
5) study for tmr's exam!!

5 Snacks I Like (not in any order)

1) Trophy Chocolate ice-cream
2) Famous Amos cookies
3) Twisties Hot & Spicy
4) Teddy Bear Chocolate Biscuits
5) Some cereals

5 things I would do if I was a millionaire

1) Go Cambodia now
2) Pay all my fees and bills myself
3) Buy a bigger house, another room so my brothers don't have to share and another as a library!!!
4) Buy a camera to capture life's moments
5) Sponsor research for cancer cure - I'm positive there is a cure!


5 places I have lived ( for various lengths of times)

1) Bedok
2) Pasir Ris
3) Tampines
4) TMS (I considered my 2nd home in sec sch)
5) TP (I considered my 2nd home in poly days)

5 Jobs I have had

1) Tried marketing and failed miserably, a total waste of my 3 mths which caused me to drop in my studies urgh!
2) 'Researcher' in lifesciences - attachment
3) I'm not old enough
4) My parents insist on supporting me
5) So that's the only 2 true jobs I've tried

5 people I Tag

You
You
You
You
You

Hehehe

K, I'm just trying to put as much distance between myself and my madrasah notes lol.

Rules: IT'S HARDER THAN IT LOOKS!

* USE THE 1ST LETTER OF YOUR NAME TO ANSWER EACH OF THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS.
* THEY HAVE TO BE REAL PLACES, NAMES,THINGS. NOTHING MADE UP!
* TRY TO USE DIFFERENT ANSWERS IF THE PERSON WHO TAGGED YOU HAD THE SAME 1ST INITIAL.
* YOU CAN'T USE YOUR NAME FOR THE BOY/GIRL NAME QUESTION.


1. What is your name: Marliyana

2. A 4 Letter word: Mime

3. A Boys Name: Matin

4. A Girls Name: Maryam

5. An Occupation: Medical Officer

6. A Color: Magenta

7. Something you wear: Mascara

8. A Beverage: Mango juice

9. A Food: Mee

10. Something found in the bathroom: Moisturizer

11. A place: Manchester

12. A Reason for being late: Miles away

13. Something you shout: Mama!!!!

Haha that was rather fun, try it!

"I Begged Them to Kill Me." This book is an important and moving document of suffering we thought we had heard and known all about. The anonymous women speak of the unspeakable--of rape, torture, enslavement, forced pregnancy, the selling of women as slaves. Forced pregnancies so that they may bear a Serb child and contaminate the Muslim lineage! The stories are heart wrenching and just painful to read, but I think they are important for us to remember! I wanted to share some of the stories which were investigated by the "Women's International League for Peace and Freedom" which you can also find here.

"January 23, 1993 – (Hamilton Spectator) During a night of unimaginable horror when she was raped by at least 15 Serb soldiers, Amela, a 25-year-old Bosnian, had no doubt why she'd been singled out for such bestiality."Because I am a Muslim," the married, red-haired woman says simply. "Their aim was to humiliate me, to make me lose my honor, to prove that they're the masters and they can rape and kill you just as they please. We are like their slaves."Now she feels her life, quite literally, is ruined. It is only the thought of her two-year-old son that stops Amela from killing herself."I try to be brave, but without even thinking about it, I just feel a physical urge to throw myself in front of a car or a train."

Selecting their victims by the light of matches, the Serb irregulars led Amela off with a knife to her throat. She thinks the men were under orders to rape because, when she begged to be let go, her Serb tormentor replied: "I can't. I have to."She was raped twice, let go briefly, then led back into a pitch-black room where she was brutally raped for hours on a cement floor.She estimates at least 20 other women were gang-raped during the night, including a 15-year-old and a woman already nine months pregnant.The next day the entire group of 60 was dumped in a forest. They made their way to Travnik, in Muslim and Croat hands. From there Amela went to Zagreb, the Croatian capital, where she was reunited with the female members of her family and now lives on charity.Although she escaped pregnancy or sexually-transmitted diseases, her Gynecologist says she suffered permanent internal damage. Her period also stopped last August, due to shock, her doctor says."I try to forget about it, but it's impossible to forget," says Amela, breaking into tears for the first time in an hour and a half of reciting her story in a clear, strong voice."I was raised in a religious Muslim family. Now I have lost my honor."Deeply depressed, she says "sometimes I cry during the night. I can't sleep. I have nightmares." She longs to be reunited with her husband and return totheir three-storey house, as long as there are no Serbs in the neighborhood."

There were thousands of such women, who were helpless and were forced to bear 'their' children. In fact, my mother had been asked to adopt some - but refused for obvious reasons. Imagine, although it is quite un-imaginable, how it feels to be forced to carry a child, give birth to it, and remain scard for the rest of your life. Imagine what this does to a mother?!? I can't…I cannot possible begin to imagine what it must have been like and I thank Allah each and every day that I have not been one of those women and girls. We have to remind ourselves, how fortunate we are!

They raped girls of only 6 years of age, pregnant women and elder women - it did not make a difference to these bastards! The unimaginable stories that resulted from them just horrify me! An elder lady was telling her experience, and she saw a pregnant woman being taken away and raped, after they were done they opened her up and took out her twins. They killed the babies in front of the mother and then slit her throat as well.

Taken from http://theidealmuslimah.blogspot.com/2008/12/rape-weappon-of-mass-humiliation.html

It's just so sad...

Dear colleagues

Please be informed that the Management has decided to declare half-day (afternoon) off on Christmas' Eve (24 Dec 2008, Wed) and New Year's Eve (31 Dec 2008, Wed) respectively. Facilities Dept (Dora) has confirmed the TLL bus schedule for 24 & 31 Dec 2008 as follows:

1.05pm - TLL to Clementi MRT station (via West Coast) & TLL to Buona Vista MRT station
6.05pm & 7pm - TLL to Clementi MRT station (via West Coast)
There will be no 8.30pm bus on these 2 days.

Wishing all of you a very Merry X'mas and Happy New Year!

Best Wishes,
HR Dept

Meaning... I can attend the finale of CPR, woohoo!!! So happy!!!!



Let's go people. I'm positive you'll regret not going. The previous CPR at Mjd Sultan was gempaq!

Anyway, there's forum today at S'pore EXPO.



And ladies!! This next one is for you. Be sure not to miss it! I know I won't hehe, insyaAllah.



I'm intrigued.

K lapar. Gonna eat and then all out for madrasah exam, MP report & organisation matters!! Lots to settle and accomplish today!

P.S. I want a new MP3!!!

3-Jan-09 (Sat) 2nd Campus Discussion Session
i.2nd meeting with the Liaison Officer (LO)
ii.2nd meeting with the MP Evaluator 1 (EV1)
iii.2nd meeting with the Care person (CP)

23-Jan-09 (Fri) Student Internship Program Ends

26, 27 Jan-09 (Mon,Tues)Chinese New Year- Public Holiday

28-Jan-09 (Wed) Post SIP Briefing & Submission of SIP Student Feedback online

30-Jan-09 (Fri) Submit SIP Report and SIP logbook

02-Feb-09 (Mon) Submit MP Report & MP workbook

10 Feb-09 (Tue) MP Poster Presentation

Scary or what la sey...

Please spare me in January up till Feb 10. Haha I think after that I'm gonna go have as much fun as I can lol. So many overdue lunch/dinner dates with pals!!

Just look at the amount of fun we had! And how much we learned!

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=38178283931#/video/video.php?v=1014995369201

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1014973048643

The serious part:
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1014956928240#/video/video.php?v=1014978368776

Unfortunately, we've been 'tricked' similarly before (previously it was at kubur at 3-4am in the morning when Azz was 'kidnapped'. So yah we know what's going on and simply couldn't act well. (Haha. Sorry guys. A good attempt though. The injuries looked cool. Who's in drama?)

Nevertheless euphoria inc. workshop was an enriching one. The facis for prog cell did a wonderful job! Thanks for sharing all you know with us!

Btw asallah namanya cell yer? Haha especially when organisers say, "Ok, now you may return to your respective cells..." Cam jail cell pulak hehe.

Didn't know it could be so bad. Started with sore throat then flu then coldness and today all got worst with phlegm in my throat and sometimes blocked and sometimes runny nose plus major splitting headache, perhaps migraine. Guess I just overworked myself. Beyond limitations betol! Cam boot camp haha. Alhamdulillah 1hr rest just now brought the fever a bit and the headache is gone. Hopefully I'll be good as new tmr! Even if I refuse to eat any panadol whatsoever.

Who cares...

Haven't finish my lecture notes 3... I think I'll just read a bit then go zoink.

My heart is crying out loud!! And I'm pushing it all back. ALL of it. But the pain is there. Stuck. Etched deep. And long.

Kept telling myself one step at a time, ONE step at a time... But... *shatters*

Why oh why did I never learn to say no?? I never learn do I? *cries*

I feel drowned in a cauldron of super hot soup. Sooo hot that the heat has touched and is burning my heart.

I have one month. Wait. Less.

3 days to exam. 10 days to exam part II.

18 days to t-e-r-e-t-a.

20 days to M-p-e-t-o-r-r-P.

21 days to M-U-P.

24 days to Campus Discussion II.

44 days to end of internship.

44 days to start of torture, 2 reports and workbook.

~50 days to workshop.

AaAAaaAaaAaaHhhhHHhhhHHHHHhhhHHH!!!!

One day I'm gonna look back at this entry and probably laugh at myself. At least I hope I'd be laughing, not crying...

SSSSTTTTTRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

a major one.

*breathe in* marl, calm down. *breathe out*

How do I organise my time? How do I do everything? How how how?

I keep telling myself to stop worrying, to start working. But the worry keeps coming back in one form or another!

There's so many things to worry about. All at once. But I can't let go of any of it. I dunno why. Not really. But I know I just can't let go!

I envy people who can share their hearts' content with others. I can't! I just can't!

demoralised.

Actually, for the past few months I was secretly wondering if there'd be such a thing as 2009. Don't ask... Now I guess I have to face this all at once.

One step at a time...

The question is, which step first? Before you answer, imagine yourself in my position. Wait. That's not possible. Nevermind...

I wish... I dunno... Perhaps, well... I hope things would turn out for better and not for worse.

Fragility. Is defined as: the quality or state of being easily broken or destroyed .

And that's exactly how I feel.

Help. Ya Allah please please please guide me and help me and ease my tasks. Please help me find peace ya Allah.

Salam. Peace.

Time: 0042

Had a refreshing bath. Needed it eventhough it's so late in the night. It straightened out my thinking. Well... At least a bit...

Hey, I can do this man... Haven't I gone through worst? AND made it?

Marl, don't succumb to these negative thoughts.

Buck up and get going la girl!

Go go go! I can do this!

I shall start with reading 1 lecture notes per day to and fro work this week consistently and on Sat I shall read the extra notes. On Sun, I shall pray for the best. In the meantime I have quite sometime in between at work currently and that's when I shall continue writing bit by bit in my workbook.

Alongside I shall squeeze my brain juices to start typing my MP report. Let's do cover page and methods this wk first. Also I'll think about NI and PMU. I doubt I'll be able to meet Mus, Liyana, Ust this week. It's so packed already as it if! But I'm still free tmr night and Sun evening, hmmm... I'll see about how it goes.

That was fast. I guess the solution has been at the back of my head all this while!

K, while it's easy to plan, carrying out is a different matter. The motivation has to come from within. Only then will I stay strong enough. Ya Allah, please grant me strength to pull through this difficult time.

Looks like I have to 'sacrifice' family time abit... Or... I can spare 7.30pm till 8.30pm and perhaps 10pm to 11pm to watch tv with my family each day? How does that sound?

Packed.

K, nvm. I shall try this plan out. First on the list, let's finish up the last few slides of my lecture notes 2 tonight before I sleep!!

Munch munch. I'll need food. Lots of it. GOMP!

I guess I had my fair share of ups for this year, so much so that now towards the end I'm having quite alot of downs... Wanted to solve it yesterday, but I found out that it will never be solved.

It's not easy. Nobody said it would. And so I guess I shall accept things as it is and make the best out of everything bad that happens. Always look on the bright side of life aye? Been a long time since I said that. Guess I didn't need to till recently.

I'd never been good at confronting people. And another incident just proved me right. This is the reason I'd rather keep any bad feelings to myself. I'd rather be the one hurt than to see my family, my friends hurt. I'd rather be the one crying than to see my family, my friends hurt. One person hurting is enough. One person crying is enough. We don't need two.

If I ever think things would be better if I'd just say out how I feel, remind me how wrong I am.

Let it be, just within me... That is always the best.

K, enough of that, let's share the happy moments instead =)

Firstly, selamat hari raya aidiladha to all muslims!! And secondly, happy birthday abang oli! (8th Dec)

Upcoming birthdays:
Ishak - today 9th Dec
Bibik - tmr 10th Dec
Wani - 13th Dec
Sylvia - 15th Dec
Dian (cousin) - 17th Dec
Kak Mardhiah - 18th Dec
Abg Sham - 25th Dec

Coolioz! To all, happy (advanced) birthday!!!

Korban was gerek with Fityan! I wouldn't miss it if not for my family. Aku dah chop registration next year ehk!! Kwangs. So nice to meet some of my sisters yang sungguh lama tak jumpa!!! U know who you are ;) Mmmbekk... Made new friends too hehe, I loike.

Oh oh, I woke up on the morning of raya to the sounds of takbir. Sungguh menenangkan. Sayup je.. Nak senyum pun ade. Nak nangis pon ade. My house quite far jugak from Ghufran, at the other side of interchange but alhamdulillah every raya I can hear the takbir. Hearing it, always makes me reflect on my family. If and only if... I'd often wished, and I still do... Ya Allah, makbulkanlah doa hambaMu ini...

Alright, let the pictures speak for now!

I'd decided to be organized AGAIN and so... I bought a pocket folder file =)

Let's hope it'll continue...

I'm determined, to be a neat yet creative girl lol. And so I go around with a file and a notebook, I mean not 24/7 of course, but they're always nearby =)

LO visit tmr... Wish me luck!!

I'm getting so adapted to working life...

Pics uploaded to comp... But, not to blogger hehs..

For now, just 1 pic okeh? Of T.K. Group.. I feel belonged!!



Though something my Ustaz for Maqasid Syari'ah said made me wonder if this work is a sin =( I wish to beg to differ, but he's definitely more competent with Islamic law than I ever would be!! But I wonder if he understands research work...

If my posts seem to cease drastically, it probably means that I'm extremely busy and lazy, which I am right now.

Thank you for reading, good night.

i miss blogging so much!!! But next time lar ye. Got loads of pics to upload for sharing ;)

Anyway, announcement for all Fityan members, the young and old, the new and the veterans, ALL who consider yourself Fityan, you're invited!!!!

Event: Breakfast with Fityan Members "closure for 2008"
Host: Fityan Ghufran
Start Time: Sunday, November 30 at 8:30am
End Time: Sunday, November 30 at 1:00pm
Where: Masjid Darul Ghufran, Khawarazmi Room 1

Hope to see you there!

Oh and tmr there's a Heart to Heart youth talk at Al-Falah 10am-12nn, anyone interested to accompany?

It just crossed my mind today. Haha. Know why? Cos I kept 'talking to myself' in my head practically 24/7! But I'm not talkative. I'm just... thinkative haha. In other words: INTROVERT. And proud to be one!

I met a fair share of talkative people the past few days. Talk and talk and talk non-stop. Sometimes I find it too noisy and irritating.

I just love talking to myself. And because of that, I love to blog! There's so many things I wanna share since the last post but I dunno where to start! Hmm, let's do a list of FAQs haha!

FAQ 1: How are you?
ans 1: Alhamdulillah, praise to allah I'm still alive. And yes, I can walk normally again already. And my bruises are lightening. It's rather scary to see a big patch of blue flesh, then yellow flesh haha. Muscle strains... On and off. The wound which had been hurting the most, was actually just healing till this morning! On Friday after the nurse cleaned the wound and bandaged it nicely, I felt really comfortable and almost like no pain at all! But after I changed myself (or asked my mum to assist in changing it), okok uh, uncomfortable. I think I put too tight or something. This morning, someone go and bang into my arm, like OWW oww OWW. Till now can like feel the sting. And the pain reaches the bones. Feels like I just knocked my elbow on a rock. The pain actually goes all the way up to my left shoulderblade la sey. I think cos too tensed with trying to control the pain. Oh well.

And I just noticed, how come there's so many white cars huh?? I can't really say it's trauma or the after-shock and whatnots, cos I don't really know what is it. But I can't help taking notice of every single white car in my way!

Yesterday I left TLL late and I had to wait for the shuttle bus for about 15-20mins. Meaning I had to watch so many cars pass by (some sprint by) in front of me at the scene of accident. Erm... Ok. And I almost cry. Though I think it's more because of impatience than of fear haha. And I keep hearing a car approaching. Though I think it's because I was listening hard for the bus screeches!

For 2 days, I had my lunch at TLL. Lazy to go out, rain, don't want to wait for bus, short incubation time are just some of the reasons why. I can't really decide if the accident is another reason. But I did tell myself I'm like NEVER gonna have lunch at Science sch anymore for the remaining SIP days = 10 weeks. It takes too much time to go so far, and I don't wanna rush rush anymore, which could result in another stupid decision like crossing across the road infront of a gigantic bus at a narrow bend. Real stupid thing to do. REALLY STUPID you know.

FAQ 2: How's SIP?
ans 2: Ok. Coping. Out of 5, maybe like only 2 days I go home at 6. Heck. Hectic. So many things to do. Especially yesterday. I had to continue almost everything I was doing last Wednesday and cos my mentor continued a bit for me, I had to figure out where she stopped so I can continue from there. Quite confusing. Aiyo. And I've got so many vials of flies collected already! And because it's Monday, I have to transfer EVERYTHING to new vials with new yeast paste etc. Not as easy as it sounds ok. And also because it's Monday, most of the puppae has developed into flies! Meaning I have to filter through like hundreds of flies to collect the crosses I want.

Anyway, I'm putting quite a lot of things I've learned together to get the bigger picture, especially with restriction digestion, about the enzymes (what buffer to use, what temperature to set reaction at, how compatible etc), about how to know whether it's cutting or not, about digest set-up the reactions (as in how much of each reagent to use, what temperature, how long, whether to add SAP or not, whether to make blunt end or not etc) yea... And pcr, and sequencing too. I love practicals! I love lab work! EXCEPT the part where I need to write report. I don't mind doing these minor minor SIP stuff, which sometimes are the cause of me going home late, and recording them down. I love it! It's the MP that rather sucks.

FAQ 3: How about MP?
ans 3: Well, partly not so well. This week is my fourth try at the same experiment I've been doing! No results or insuffient results the past 3 weeks! So sian know! I've still yet to start my MP workbook, *gulps* What more my MP report! *cries* Anyway, is anyone willing to help me copy back all my experiments, under confidential agreement (I'm serious, I'll make you sign a letter of agreement), into my MP workbook X2 (one copy for school, another for my mentor) for $10? Really, really I'm serious. Criteria: Handwriting like mine, can write fast and free on Saturdays haha. No I don't think this is an offense, right? I'm really tired of writing. And all ideas for the workbook, aim, materials, method, results, discussion ALL will be by me. I just need someone to help me write!!! And it's not bribing la, it's a little token of appreciation for the help.

Oh anyway, my mentor has really high expectations of me. She's trusted me with TWO of HER projects know. and I've disappointed her time and time again. Haiz... But trust me, I give all my best for everything. But I dunno, despite knowing I'd given my best, I still feel disappointed with myself and guilty sometimes.

FAQ 4: How's social life?
ans 4: Sad :( I hadn't met my NI, Fityan and Titisan peeps *sniff sniff* And almost all have no idea how I am either, cos I can't be bothered to contact them, to ask how's things, to update on myself, to listen etc. Socialising can be tiring, especially for an introvert like me. I've got many different worlds to visit you know.. Haha just kidding, I'm not crazy la deyy.

But I gotta say I'm so glad for the friends I have at TLL! Especially Hui Yi, JJ and Aaron. They make SIP/MP all the more fun/bearable (respectively). Sometimes I just go up to them and make funny faces to destress haha. Funny faces like silently screaming under all the instructions my mentor asks me to do. It helps y'know.

Oh, that's all people frequently ask these days.

Now on to random stuff!

Hmm... Like what eh? Forgot.

OH! I think I'm gonna do something on the last day of SIP. I'm gonna go crazy on my mentor HAHA. I mean all these while I just nod nod and say "ok", "yes understood", "alright", "can" to her know. I think on the last day I'll go wild! Whee! I hope she'd be surprised. Hehehee. Gosh, I'm thinking of these stuffs know...

I might be meeting Fityan peeps this Thursday and Sunday and Titisan peeps perhaps tmr and Friday. Oh no, NI usrah on Friday! Erm, alamak, I forgot! Geez... NI dearies sisters, can we meet up on Saturday pwease?
I'm free the WHOLE of Saturday.

Apart from those above, I have a few other things to look forward to. Like... Akikah at Ghufran, Korban at Malaysia, brothers' birthdays (and hopefully no stupid stunts by them to make my family tensed and hopefully get eat seafood!!!) New Year, end of SIP, end of SIP celebration aka Seoul Garden outing!, end of the whole SIP/MP ordeal, birthday, graduation!!! And for now, for my wound to heal completely hehe. It's mostly pink flesh oredi. Parts of it look like raw meat still though, eww. But no more sluffy!! Dunno why the nurse call that. Sluffy = pus discharge aka infection.

I shall put aside thinking about what to do after SIP ends after SIP ends, haha. I dunno what to think now. There's so many things I wanna do, so many I wanna achieve! Really, it keeps coming to me the part about me wanting to be a doctor, a gynae specifically. I want to be involved in bringing lives into this world and seeing the tears of joy in many many people's yes! But doctor means medical school, which means competing with the best of the best with such an average results that I have. Med sch take in like distinction students, top students, super excellent students! How? Should I pursue? Do I have the guts? Is this what I'm meant to do, what I really really really wanna do?

To my multiply contacts: this is referring to my blog, so yeah...

Finally, I've changed my blogskin! I love the song as I set my ears to it last week. And ever since it's posted on the blog, I'd left my comp on throughout the night to listen to it and bring me to a relaxing mode. I need it badly. My muscles are so tensed... The first day I listened to the song, I wake up in the morning in a reflective mode and cried... Cried my heart out I should say, till I felt better.

Anyway, the slideshow with the header 'loves' are really the things I love. Not all the things I love though, as I don't have pictures of everything right.. But yes, I love my family, and I love my friends, I love Islam, I love beautiful sceneries, I love bright moons, I love sunrises, I love beaches and seas, I love camps, I love cats, I love butterflies, I love flowers especially ginvera, I love clouds, I love taking pictures of the things I love, I love Science, I love practical work (when I can understand what I'm doing, and it doesn't take too long) and more! And I miss some of these things I love... *smiles*

I need a massage badly. I'm getting frequent muscle cramps these days. Dunno if the accident plays a part...

Right now, my back and shoulders really hurt. Gotta go sleep! Toodles noodles!

Oh oh, I really wanna post this up!! Scroll of responsibility I'd call it ;)


If you wanna know more about NI, wanna collaborate for an event or something, you may contact me. :) PM me, tag me or something kays.

I do love art too y'know. The different forms and types of art. I'm not good at it, but I appreciate it. I can't draw the difference between a human head and a cow head I think haha. Try googling about forms and types of art! Anyway, anyone interested to go to the Biennale exhibition with me? I'm still free this Sat ;)

Oh, and I'm really itching to be involved in organizing something. Gosh but I can't!! I really can't commit :(

The book that I was reading during lunch and on the way back, that fell when I got hit, that I continued at hospital, that I continued on the car ride back and that I finished last night instead of resting haha. (Couldn't rest initially 'cause was scared I wouldn't wake up, and because of the sting. But it's so nice to sleep hehe. Glad I didn't dream of the accident, I think. And I slept on my arm, and when I woke up there was like no pain. want sleep somemore later hehe)

Anyway, this is the book talking about filial piety, about true love, about how hatred and greed destroys the heart, soul and body and many more amongst the fantasy twists of the tale. As much as it is ridiculous, about witches, about friendly bears, about cats turning to man, about man being able to swim through earth like a faery tale, it is as true as the lives some of us go through.

Who says Muslims can't read what some people term 'non-Islamic' books, especially fantasy ones? I'm not giving hukum here of course, who am I seh... Belajar agama pon part time je. But in my opinion, it is not wrong AS LONG AS you know what's right and what's wrong, and you hold strongly to your faith and your principles and don't let it sway with what you read, and you take the positive values you can learn from it!

And the book shouldn't distract you from your routines as a Muslim, requires self-discipline and which I rather lack. Once I put my face into a book, I can read it back to back till it's finished and sacrifice sleep and food. Books bring me to a different world and I get so absorbed in it, I dunno what happens around me. I ever read till I missed Buona Vista station and not just once I pulled myself away from the book in time at Commonwealth ish ish.

Back to the book.. It's interesting how the author fits faery tales, as they call it, inside. Little Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, Rapunzel, Hansel and Gretel, Jack & the Beanstalk, Goldilock's and the Three Bears, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White and the Seven dwarves and Rumpelstiltskin. But they're mostly twisted. It's a different tale from what we heard off. For one, it all shows that humans are bad creatures, which is sometimes true in reality!

Two 'messages' I gathered, which I didn't expect, is what the book says about greed, the failure to feel satisfied with what one has and about protecting your name. The greed one is more obvious, but the hidden part is how the author fits it nicely into the story on how when you've seen love, you want more love, when you've seen wealth, you want more wealth and when you've seen true beauty, you'll go to all means to see something like it again. And about the concept of protecting your name is totally different from how a Muslim view it la. But what do lit people call it? Can't really remember the terms... Metaphor is it? Haha I dunno.

I'm loving lit again! Taking my own time and embracing the concepts in my own style. Hehe, makes me feel like opening my lit books again, but maybe later... Haha. I've got my SIP logbook and MP workbook to fill in! Which would take more than a day I'm sure! Okaes, I've fulfilled my promises here, now I shall do what I'm supposed to do!

Last note: Iqra'! Iqra' bismirabbikallazikhalaq! Read! Read in the name of your Lord who has created!

Al-Alaq (The Clot)

1. Read! In the Name of your Lord, Who has created (all that exists),

2. Has created man from a clot (a piece of thick coagulated blood).

3. Read! And your Lord is the Most Generous,

4. Who has taught (the writing) by the pen [the first person to write was Prophet Idrees (Enoch)],

5. Has taught man that which he knew not.

6. Nay! Verily, man does transgress all bounds (in disbelief and evil deed, etc.).

7. Because he considers himself self-sufficient.

8. Surely! Unto your Lord is the return.

9. Have you (O Muhammad ()) seen him (i.e. Ab� Jahl) who prevents,

10. A slave (Muhammad ()) when he prays?

11. Tell me, if he (Muhammad ()) is on the guidance (of All�h)?

12. Or enjoins piety?

13. Tell me if he (the disbeliever, Ab� Jahl) denies (the truth, i.e. this Qur'�n), and turns away?

14. Knows he not that All�h does see (what he does)?

15. Nay! If he (Ab� Jahl) ceases not, We will catch him by the forelock,

16. A lying, sinful forelock!

17. Then, let him call upon his council (of helpers),

18. We will call the guards of Hell (to deal with him)!

19. Nay! (O Muhammad ())! Do not obey him (Ab� Jahl). Fall prostrate and draw near to All�h!

From the holy Qur'an as translated in http://www.dar-us-salam.com/TheNobleQuran/surah96.html.

Oh, just another note to add o to that last sentence:

Ayats (verses) Requiring Sajda-e-Tilawat

1. Surah Al A'Raf (7) Ayat 206
2. Surah Al Ra'd (13) Ayat 15
3. Surah Al Nahl (16) Ayat 50
4. Surah Bani Israil (17) Ayat 109
5. Surah Maryum (19) Ayat 58
6. Surah Al Haj (22) Ayat 18
7. Surah Al Haj (22) Ayat 77 (Shafi)
8. Surah Al Farqan (25) Ayat 60
9. Surah Al Naml (27) Ayat 26
10. Surah As Sajdah (32) Ayat 15
11. Surah Sa'd (38) Ayat 24 (Hanafi)
12. Surah Hamim Sajdah (41) Ayat 38
13. Surah Al Najam (53) Ayat 62
14. Surah Inshiqaq (84) Ayat 21
15. Surah Al Alaq (96) Ayat 19


HOW TO PERFORM SAJDA-E-TILAWAT

Sajda Tilaawat will be performed like a normal Sajda. Wudhu is a condition.

There is no Sajdah Tilaawat when the Aayat of Sajdah is heard on tape.

Face the Qiblah and without raising the hands, recite Takbeer (Allaahu Akbar), going down in the Sajda position. In Sajda, recite Subhaana rabbiyal a'alaa at least 3 times. Thereafter, reciting the Takbeer if you wish to. If you wish, you may arise from the Sajda position into the Tashahhud position. The Sajdah Tilaawat is now complete. There is no need for Salaam.

From http://www.tariqjamil.org/Forum/quran/ayats-(verses)-requiring-sajda-e-tilawat/0/

Good day all! May peace be upon us all :D

Random: The songs that really capture me today (and yesterday night) are Syukur and Bismillah by Raihan on NI blog hehe.

Ok, I shall start with the uestions Ustaz posted while introducing Maqasid Syariah. (Adibah, it's Syar'iyyah actually ehk?)

1) Dalam kehidupan ini, bagaimana anda mengenalpasti samada suatu perkara itu penting untuk diri anda atau kurang penting?
English: In life, how do you determine whether something is importance to you or less important?

2) Jika perlu buat pilihan antara dua perkara bagaimana anda buat penilaian untuk menentukan pilihan anda?
English; If you have to decide between two matters, how do you analyse to determine your choice?

3) Bagaimana anda menyusun/mengatur urusan keutamaan dalam tugas/tanggungjawab?
English: How do you priotise your tasks/responsibilities?

Side question: Importance of islamic studies and what will happen if it is cast aside?

Take a time to reflect upon the questions... Everyone have their own answers.

I realise that answers flashing through my mind are textbook answers, what I SHOULD do, instead of practical answers, what I WOULD have done or HAS ALWAYS done.

Anyway, happy birthday Amalina! Wherever you are... I miss you y'know...

Received this article from Kak Sarah. It's unbelievable, but then again why should it be unbelievable? It is true what they mentioned. "how important religious homogeneity was considered in the Muslim World; if you share religion, you are treated not as a foreigner, but as a local, and Muslims do not attack Muslim women even in war." Read on... Sorry for the misalignment, I'm too lazy to correct it.

Ahead of Iraq Deployment, 37 Korean Troops Convert to Islam

"I became a Muslim because I felt Islam was more humanistic and peaceful than other
religions. And if you can religiously connect with the locals, I think it could be a big help
in carrying out our peace reconstruction mission." So said on Friday those Korean
soldiers who converted to Islam ahead of their late July deployment to the Kurdish city of
Irbil in northern Iraq.
At noon Friday, 37 members of the Iraq-bound "Zaitun Unit," including Lieutenant Son
Hyeon-ju of the Special Forces 11th Brigade, made their way to a mosque in Hannamdong,
Seoul and held a conversion ceremony.
Captain Son Jin-gu from Zaitoon Unit recites an oath at ceremony to mark his conversion to Islam at a
mosque in Hannam-dong, Seoul on Friday. /Yonhap
The soldiers, who cleansed their entire bodies in accordance with Islamic tradition,
made their conversion during the Friday group prayers at the mosque, with the
assistance of the "imam," or prayer leader.
With the exception of the imam, all the Muslims and the Korean soldiers stood in a
straight line to symbolize how all are equal before God and took a profession on faith.
They had memorized the Arabic confession, " Ashadu an La ilaha il Allah, Muhammadur-
Rasool-Allah," which means, "I testify that there is no god but God (Arabic: Allah),
and Muhammad is the Messenger of God."
Soldiers from Zaitoon Unit pray after conversion ceremony at a mosque in Hannam-dong, Seoul on
Friday./Yonhap
Moreover, as the faithful face the "Kaaba," the Islamic holy place in Mecca, Saudi
Arabia, all Muslims confirm that they are brothers.
For those Korean soldiers who entered the Islamic faith, recent chances provided by the
Zaitun Unit to come into contact with Islam proved decisive.
Taking into consideration the fact that most of the inhabitants of Irbil are Muslims, the
unit sent its unreligious members to the Hannam-dong mosque so that they could come
to understand Islam. Some of those who participated in the program were entranced by
Islam and decided to convert.
A unit official said the soldiers were inspired by how important religious homogeneity
was considered in the Muslim World; if you share religion, you are treated not as a
foreigner, but as a local, and Muslims do not attack Muslim women even in war.
Zaitun Unit Corporal Paek Seong-uk (22) of the Army's 11th Division said, "I majored in
Arabic in college and upon coming across the Quran, I had much interest in Islam, and I
made up my mind to become a Muslim during this religious experience period [provided
by the Zaitun Unit]."
He expressed his aspirations. "If we are sent to Iraq, I want to participate in religious
ceremonies with the locals so that they can feel brotherly love and convince them that
the Korean troops are not an army of occupation

Well, as usual I lunched alone. This time I went to MegaBite at Science School though. Everything was fine. Enjoyed my meal (even if the rice was too soft and the sauce too sour but I shall not complain as I filled my tummy to the fullest) while enjoying a book. Shall tell you my dear blog about the book another time perhaps. Which reminds me, I've yet to post the continuation of the previous post...

So anyway, after finishing my food I realised that I had wasted so much time going so far and taking my own sweet time eating while reading when I have, as usual, 1001 things to do at TLL. And so I rushed.

Nothing out of the ordinary. I always rushed with my tasks, unless I'm super duper tired or fed-up or my tendonitis acted up...

Until, I alighted the A2 bus, after taking the so-called short cut, opposite TLL to the face of a very smiley lab colleague from Aaron's group, (he seems to smile 24/7 fyi) and seeing the bus taking its time, I turn right infront of the bus and, I dunno what stupid idea struck me, I dashed across the road and erm... got hit by a while car. Can't remember how exactly I got hit and how was I right after the hit and as I've always mentioned, I never ever fall unconscious and today was no exception. I just remember seeing the white paint of the car and immediately standing up, gathering my things and moving off to the pavement as if nothing happened. Mind you one of my shoes was amongst the things I carried in my hands to the pavement while the other flung a few metres away. I couldn't think of anything except how stupid I'd been, not to mention extremely careless, which I avoid since all those careless mistakes I do in primary school Maths papers, and how much trouble I would cause.

And it is quite a lot of trouble I caused to myself, to the driver and his friend, to the bus driver, to my mentor, to my friends (Hui Yi especially) and to my family indefinitely.

Such a hassle too to wait for so many routines in the hospital.

But I'd just like to thank Allah for still allowing me to live, to repent for all my past sins, alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah the car wasn't going at a fast speed. Alhandulillah the driver was a kindly young man who insisted on sending me to the hospital and paying for my bills, plus a bit of compensation, and wait with me throughout the whole boring waiting and waiting and more waiting, and to send me back to office. He was insisting on sending me home, but I couldn't let him, really.

Alhamdulillah for like everything! I'm normal, perfectly fine with a good appetite still (or at least I can eat without vomiting) except a badly scraped left elbow which has stung on off since I scraped it against the road, a mini scratch on my right ankle which seems to habve some minor soft tissue injury to the very kindly female Dr Lee who examined me and a bit of bruise and ache here and there, which could actually be due to the long waiting time... Oh and a 2-days MC for today and tomorrow ;)

And I gotta go see a General Practitioner on Friday, hopefully getting me another MC. I NEED the rest badly.

I just can't help thinking, the car COULD have been speeding, I COULD have flund a few metres from where I dashed, the driver COULD have just left me there, I COULD have broken a bone or two or all or worse, my neck, I COULD have been hospitalized, I COULD have been DEAD BY NOW and on this very bed I'm sitting covered in kain batik waiting for me to be bathed, clothed, prayed and buried early tomorrow morning. Really, I could have been...

And so, I shall not complain of my pain. It's just a sting. (Ok maybe MUCH MORE but I shall pretend so) It could be just a fall from a bicycle you know... Well, but I would remember giving a quick ahriek not too loud, and seeing the white front part of the car, and seeing one of my shoe a few metres away. Just bits of the whole thing. I can't even remember how I landed, how I hurt my arm etc.

Oh, actually it was erm... rather fun. Ok sorry. I dunno. I mean, I don't wish that to repeat, of course! Especially since I dunno the outcome of what COULD happen the next time... But then again, I can't help wanting to laugh every once in awhile at what happened.

Pray for my speedy recovery! Not much to recover from. Just less sting.

What an unexpected turn of events... All those stuff I left hanging halfway at TLL. I hope my mentor won't scold me when I come back, which I intend to do nothing of the sort this week *big grin*.

Oh, happy belated birthday to Chan Jun Jie and my dear auntie (11/11)! And happy birthday to Peng Ya Zhi (12/11)! Wish all 3 of you all the best in whatever you do ;)

Time to rest, which I ought have done since I reached home 3hrs ago, haha, nvm...

Saff Perdaus is humbled to be given the opportunity in organizing a Qurban campaign where canned "qurban" meat from Australia will be distributed to the refugees from Darfur and Palestine. Since, there are lack of electricity thus proper refrigeration, canned meat are the best form of contribution from us to them.

As such, I implore you to join us in this cause. A goat is enough for 24 can of meat which can help families to sustain for weeks if not months - something we take for granted here in Singapore.

For more information or to order - email to Sis Afifah (Executive Officer, Saff Perdaus): afifah@perdaus.org.sg or call us at 65132305 today.

You can say it's a continuation of this morning's post... But no, it's not really so... These were what we talked about in Maqasid syariah (Reason behind a Law of Islam) module, apart from a few other things. The first lesson of this module today inspired me to do 2 things. One is to blog about it hehe.

Finally, something non-sejarah (history)! I mean, the Ustaz still brings us back to sirah (prophets' histories) and sejarah at parts, but that's perfectly fine with me. I can see the relevance. To study sejarah the whole lesson is just plain boring. Especially when the lecturer fails to state its relevance. It just makes me feel like pulling out my hair. K, that's an exaggeration. Especially so since I have a hijab covering my hair lol.

So anyway, the Ustaz for Maqasid Syariah is... ok. I like how he started with a tazkirah about death. Ok, that sounds crude. But if you were there listening to the tazkirah you'd understand why I like it. And this Ustaz is up to date with current issues, local and global. But... I dunno why he likes to repeat all over again what our fellow classmate just said. We're not deaf lah Ustaz. We're not dumb either. Repetitions are only for emphasizing on something important. And I dunno why he sounds rather nervous as he keeps forgeting words and takes a long time. I hate to waste my time.

I hate wasting time so much so that when he asked questions I actually put p my hand to answer quite a number of times, which I don't normally do. Volunteering to talk in class in just makes my face feel so hot as I feel all eyes and attention on me. Normally after I answer a question or something, I'd look down on the floor and slowly slump down my seat as if trying to disappear. As much as I wanna be like Hermione, I just can't. But for his class I just had to answer. Other than bro Amir and Sis Jun, no one else seems to have a voice and it really unnerves me to see the teacher just standing infront repeating the question again followed by silence and he just continue standing waiting for an answer. Gosh. But he learned after sometime that he is SUPPOSED TO pick one of us to answer instead of asking for volunteers. The latter only means you'd hear bro Amir or sis Jun's voice. And maybe once in awhile Sis Faseha or Cik Salleh or Sis Rohana or 1 or 2 others speaking up.

Guess what time we ended? 5.20. Instead of 5. And he hardly covered half the notes!

So anyway, what of importance, choices and priority? wait for my next post. I've got a cramped neck right now. Hehe. so watch out for part II of this post!

I foresee that this post will be long hehe. And I've checked that my internet and the autosave system is working fine :) I hope it will be till this post is safely posted. Ok, here goes!

Thoughts. Reflects the state of the mind and the body. Reflects the overall mental, spiritual, physical wellbeing of a person. Thoughts can be power because thoughts are the drive the pulls or pushes.

Why in the world am I talking about thoughts?

Firstly, it's because I recently completed the book titled "Book of a Thousand Days" by Shannon Hale. Ok I have to admit that the wolf part and the sing-to-heal part is rather ridiculous. But it is afterall a fantasy book. But apart from those two fantasy parts, the book tells of a story that sounds really real and possible. The book tells of obedience, of loyalty, of friendship, of love, of sacrifices and of hikmah. (What's hikmah in English eh? I've always thought wisdom can't really describe it all) And the book is in diary-form, meaning that it goes to the thoughts of the protagonist. (Somehow I feel like I'm writing a literature homework lol. I never was really good at it.) And it is just... personal and enables readers to connect and feel the emotions as if firsthand. Trust me, the emotions that the book evoked in me lasted at least 2 days. The feelings of misery, of hope, of fear, of happiness, of content, of disappointment, of fulfilment etc etc. "Book of a Thousand Days" is just the kind of book I enjoy. Fantasy yet filled with real life values and at the same time evokes all kinds of feelings in me. Great book, a must read.

What's even greater is that it inspires me to write a book. Not just any book, but a diary-like book of experiences. Not of any kind of experiences, but that of a Muslim youth in Singapore :D In English.

What, isn't a blog enough? Well, let's just say that I don't include all in my blog. It feels too personal to simply post it on the world wide web to let the whole world read.

But what difference does a book make? Wouldn't the whole world still read it? My answer is: maybe not. Come on, who would wanna publish a book written by a nobody like me? Who would read my book? (But then again though, all writers started as no one and there's people like Anne Frank who got her book/diary published for all to know what it was like being a young Jewish girl in Frankfurt during the German Occupation.) The book can be a gift to someone special passed on to generations of special people, in my hope to leave a tiny legacy, an ilmu that can be a benefit to others even till long after my death. Yes I will die one day. Everyone does. But not everyone leaves a legacy. Some leaves a name, but what point is it to leave behind your name. Leaving a legacy would benefit both the writer and the reader, insyaAllah.

It has always been my dream to write a book. But all the ideas that sparked either didn't start at all or simply just stopped in mid-writing. I believe there's no originality in all my stories. All cliche. So I stopped. But if it's a story of real life, then there's bound to be surprises and unexpected turns here and there. That's just how life is. And I believe my English is substantial enough. Maybe not equipped with a vast vocabulary, but at least my grammar is not bad and my style of writing is more or less easy to comprehend, though maybe a bit long-winded at times. Oh well *shrugs*

(I've got 2 title ready. As in I can't decide which. "A Book of Thoughts" or "Journey of Purpose" just like my blog.

Speaking of dreams, I have other dreams. Some really BIG dreams. Some small. Some general. Some personal. Some special. But mostly my dreams are long-term and would take alot of effort and a looooooong time to well... become reality.

Just to share one of the dreams I have which I wish to realise. I dream to be able to speak fluent Arabic and Mandarin, and read and write as well. These 2 languages have appealed to me as early as around primary 3. And I think my vocab just keeps expanding. Slooooowwwly though, I must add. I think I've got a new strategy. See how. I'll probably take 10 years to study the 'textbooks' I'd chosen hehe.

I got thinking about dreams, and choices, after I watched High School Musical 3 with my brother last night. Not the most suitable company to be watching HSM3 with haha, considering how looooooong ago he stopped formal studies. Wanted to watch with Jamie and Ad, but well, I guess I couldn't wait. With Jamie and Ad, we'll perhaps catch another movie aite? Like the dog cartoon movie, bolt I think. Or or there's another movie, erm also about dogs, it's a dog named Chloe hehe, maybe can ask Chloe, my friend - not the dog, along.

So anyway, HSM3 talks about dreams, aspirations, passion, friendship, graduation, separation, achievement etc. I'll be graduating soon, insyaAllah, and these similar thoughts frequently cross my mind. I'm still not so sure of the BIG dreams I have, of my aspirations and ambitions. I have a few in mind but I have no idea which I'd feel most at ease with doing. I wanna do something fun, yet challenging enough, and interactive but certainly beneficial to myself and/or the community. We'll see. I'll keep thinking till February comes. As for friendship and separation, I dunno... I've seen, sometimes separation does adverse negative things to a person. Though I doubt I'll go in that direction. I mean, so far I take 'moving on' in step rather easily. Afterall, I had to separate with friends many times in my life. Some of whom I totally lose contact with, which is rather sad actually. And I doubt I'll be going overseas, even if I do think about it sometimes, so separation is not really a matter lah. Achievement. This word probably means different things to different people. Myself, I categorise my achievements, if you can say so. I dunno. I don't think I achieved much in poly. Maybe the first year was fine, perfectly how I want it to be. But I slacked too much followig that, changed my lifestyle and even my principles. Haiz... It is something to sigh about really... Choices. I feel like I'm reaching a crossroad soon. There's so many possibilities to choose from! I'll choose when I have to haha.

A looong entry indeed. Just sharing my thoughts out loud. I wish I can talk as fluently as I type lol. Really, I stutter a lot actually while talking. I dunno, my brain and my mouth just can't work in unison. But my fingers are definitely in perfect tune and harmony with my mind hehe.

P.S. HSm3 really makes me wanna be involved in theatre again! Lucky Bolton, gets to get all he wants: Gabriella, basketball AND theatre. In real life though, more often than not, you'll be asked to question your priorities, make choices and face the consequences of certain sacrifices you just gotta make.

K dahh, toodles~

This post is taken from Ust Hazrizal's blog about Turkish erm... practices?

Pada Yang Kecil Itu Ada Barakah
November 5th, 2008 | by Abu Saif |


“Hasrizal, malam ini kamu gorengkan ayam boleh tak?”, Fatih bertanya.

“Goreng cara Turki, atau cara Malaysia?”, saya bertanya dengan nada gurau.

“Kalau cara Turki, baik saya sendiri sahaja yang melakukannya. Saya ini tidaklah sejahil yang kamu semua sangkakan.”, Fatih cuba mempertahankan kelemahan dirinya yang tidak mahir di dapur. Faruk dan Hasan turut ketawa.

Setiap kali saya berkunjung ke Istanbul, Fatih mesti akan meminta saya menggorengkan ayam ala Malaysia. Sebenarnya, ayam goreng ala Malaysia yang dia maksudkan itu hanyalah ayam yang digoreng dengan serbuk kunyit serta secubit garam. Kalau orang Turki, ayamnya tidak digoreng begitu. Mereka lazim menggoreng ikan dan ayam dengan tepung gandum bercampur tepung beras dan sedikit serbuk lada putih.

Syukur Alhamdulillah, persahabatan saya dengan Fatih dan rakan-rakan yang lain memberikan peluang kepada kami untuk belajar banyak perkara baru. Seperkara tentang orang Turki yang menarik perhatian saya adalah sikap mereka yang cermat terhadap perkara-perkara yang kecil dan halus. Kadang-kadang pada kita, hal seperti ini tidak mempunyai sebarang signifikasi, tetapi bagi orang Turki, mereka cukup mengambil berat mengenainya.

TERTIB ORANG ISTANBUL

Saya masih ingat, semasa yang bertandang ke rumah Mahmud Bilici, rakan baik saya semenjak di Jordan. Beliau merupakan pelajar Turki yang disegani oleh rakan-rakan Turki yang lain di Amman. Mungkin sifat rendah diri, keluasan ilmu dan kefasihan Bahasa Arab yang dituturkannya, menjadikan beliau begitu karismatik seawal hari pertama saya bertemu dengan Mahmud.

Saya bertandang ke rumah Mahmud yang terletak di Draman. Ia tidak jauh dari Masjid Ismail Aga Camii yang menjadi markaz Tarikat Naqsyabandiyyah di Istanbul. Malam itu sebelum kami melelapkan mata, saya meminta segelas air masak untuk membasahkan tekak. Mahmud mengambil cawan yang tersimpan di rak pinggan, membasuhnya terlebih dahulu sebelum diisi dengan air yang diminta.



Di rumah Mahmud

Saya kagum dengan ketelitian Mahmud. Kalau saya, mungkin cawan yang sudah sedia bersih itu akan terus diisi dengan air masak. Tetapi Mahmud membilasnya dengan air terlebih dahulu sebelum diisi dengan air masak. Orang Turki memang pembersih.

Saya juga selalu melihat tong sampah di lokasi pembuangan sampah di Istanbul diberus dan dibersihkan oleh pekerja Istanbul Buyuksehir Belediyesi (Dewan Kota Metropolitan Istanbul) dengan berus dan air. Wah, tong sampah pun mesti bersih dan kemas!

Kebersihan rumah kawan-kawan Turki juga sentiasa mengagumkan saya. Walaupun ada di kalangan mereka yang merokok, rumah bujang perokok mereka juga masih bersih. Buku-buku tersusun rapi, pakaian elok terletak, malah bilik mandi dan tandas juga tidak pernah bercampur. Kebanyakan rumah di Istanbul, mempunyai sekurang-kurangnya dua bilik air. Maka satu digunakan untuk mandi manda dan satu lagi dikhususkan untuk buang air. Bilik mandi pula lazimnya berkarpet dan saya belajar untuk mandi dan berwudhu’ tanpa membasahkan karpet itu. Hmm, agaknya kalau ada orang Turki yang bergaduh laki bini, tidur dalam bilik air pun masih okay lagi.

Saya kira, kebersihan yang terbit dari iman, memang benar-benar dapat dirasakan di Turki.

Kalau di masjid, berhati-hati. Anda mungkin akan diminta keluar oleh ‘orang masjid’ sekiranya anda masuk ke masjid dengan stokin yang ‘tidak molek’. Apabila anda keluar dari pintu masjid, junjung kedua-dua pasang kasut anda ke atas kerana orang Turki tidak mahu kasut yang dijinjing menyentuh pakaian orang lain.

Tidak lupa, di sesetengah masjid, seperti yang pernah saya lihat di Bursa, akan dikhususkan masa sekitar jam 10 pagi untuk kaum ibu sahaja. Mereka datang ke masjid untuk mengelap dinding, anjung tingkap, tiang dan perabot masjid, agar sentiasa bersih dan kemas. Saya belajar bagaimana tuntutan iman menjadi corak hidup, semasa saya di Turki.

Malah soal teliti mereka dengan perkara-perkara yang sering dipandang ringan oleh sesetengah kita, mempunyai akar umbi yang panjang di era Islam Othmaniyyah.

TERTIB DI ERA OTHMANIYYAH




Sultan Suleyman al-Qanuni yang memerintah Khilafah Othmaniyyah dari tahun 1520 – 1566 telah memberikan contoh yang sama. Semasa beliau mengeluarkan belanja sendiri membina Masjid Suleymaniye di Istanbul, Sultan Suleyman telah mewajibkan semua pekerjanya bekerja membina masjid itu dalam keadaan berwudhu’. Tentunya ia tidak ada dalam ‘rukun membina masjid’. Tetapi ada sesuatu yang ingin dicapai oleh baginda. Sultan Suleyman akan memecat sesiapa yang diketahuinya tidak mematuhi syarat tersebut.

Apakah yang terhasil daripada ketelitian Sultan Suleyman terhadap perkara-perkara kecil begitu? Jawapannya adalah BARAKAH.

Masjid Suleymaniye pernah ditutup di zaman Atatürk dan dijadikan kandang kuda. Ia pernah dicemar hingga ke tahap itu. Tetapi hari ini, apabila saya bersolat di Suleymaniye Camii, saya mendapat suatu ‘rasa’ yang sukar diungkapkan dengan kata. Tenang, tenteram, rasa mahu dan mahu menambah ibadah, pelbagai perasaan yang positif itu mungkin datang dari sebuah masjid yang ada barakah. Masjid yang dibina dengan mengambil kira soal remeh-temeh yang hari ini tidak kita pedulikan.

MEHMET VS MUHAMMAD

Soal orang Turki yang teliti dengan perkara-perkara yang halus ini, mengingatkan juga saya kepada perbualan bersama Pakcik Mehmet, ayah Fatih, semasa kami bercuti di Bolvadin.

“Pakcik, saya ingin bertanya sesuatu tentang nama pakcik. Bolehkah?”, saya bertanya kepada Pakcik Mehmet, ayah Fatih.

“Tentu sahaja, nak. Tanyalah. Kenapa pula dengan nama pakcik?”, ayah Fatih sedikit terkejut dengan permintaan saya.

“Saya terfikir, orang Turki ramai yang bernama Mehmet seperti pakcik. Saya kira Mehmet itu bermaksud Muhammad, kan?”, saya bertanya.

“Betul. Mehmet bermaksud Muhammad. Kenapa, Hasrizal?”, tanya Pakcik Mehmet kepada saya.

“Jika nabi kita, nama baginda disebut Muhammed. Hazreti Peygamber Muhammed. Mengapa nama Rasulullah disebut Muhammad sedangkan nama pakcik disebut Mehmet?”, saya cuba mencari penjelasan dari pakcik.

“Oh, itu rupanya soalan kamu. Setahu pakciklah, nama Muhammad itu kami khususkan hanya pada baginda Rasulullah SAW. Bukan apa. Kalau kami namakan anak-anak kami sebagai Muhammad, nanti kalau mereka buat hal, tercemar pula nama Rasulullah”, kata Pakcik Mehmet.

“Tercemar macam mana tu?”, saya kurang faham apa yang Pakcik Mehmet maksudkan.

“Bayangkan, kalau si Fatih ni pakcik namakan Muhammad. Tiba-tiba dia mencuri buah epal jiran sebelah. Nanti apa kata orang kampung? Isy, jahat sungguh Muhammad tu. Curi epal jiran! Hah, kan tak elok, perbuatan mencuri dinisbahkan kepada nama semulia Muhammad!”, Pakcik Mehmet begitu bersemangat bercerita kepada saya.

Terlopong saya dibuatnya!

Begitu sekali mereka mengambil kira soal ‘sekecil ini’. Maka amat tidak benarlah apa yang pernah ditulis oleh seorang penulis di dalam akhbar di tanah air. Sekembalinya beliau dari lawatan di Turki, beliau menulis dan menyentuh secara khusus isu nama Mehmet ini. Katanya, orang Turki sudah terlalu sekular sehingga hendak menyebut nama Rasulullah pun sudah tidak mampu. Sudah pelat, katanya.

Walhal pemikiran penulis itu yang pelat! Menafsirkan budaya orang lain dengan pandangan sendiri. Mujur artikelnya di dalam Bahasa Malaysia. Kalau dibaca oleh orang Turki, tentu tersinggung hati mereka dengan persepsi kita seperti itu.

PELAJARAN DARI SERBUK KULIT ROTI


Ayam sudah siap terhidang.

Lama pula saya mengelamun. Pelbagai perkara yang mengimbau ingatan saya sambil memasak di dapur. Kebetulan Fatih, dan rakan-rakan yang lain sedang sibuk menelaah pelajaran untuk peperiksaan akhir semester. Saya sudah selesai menjalani peperiksaan yang sama di Jordan dua minggu lalu. Kehadiran saya ke Turki sekurang-kurangnya dapat membantu kawan-kawan saya ini belajar dengan lebih baik. Biar soal makan minum, saya bantu seadanya.

“Fatih, Islam, Hasan, Faruk, Osman, marilah makan!”, saya menjerit memanggil mereka yang khusyuk di meja membaca masing-masing.

Setiap kali makan, kami akan membentangkan dua keping surat khabar lama. Tujuan utamanya adalah untuk memastikan sisa makanan tidak jatuh ke karpet. Akan tetapi, malam itu perhatian saya terpaut kepada tindak-tanduk rakan saya ketika makan, terutamanya Islam. Setiap kali beliau mematahkan roti, beliau akan melakukannya di atas mangkuk nasi. Seandainya masih ada serbuk-serbuk dari kulit roti itu bertaburan di atas lapik, Islam akan mengumpulkannya untuk dimakan. Tidak ada langsung sisa makan yang terbuang.

“Islam, saya suka tengok cara awak makan. Tidak ada yang tersisa langsung. Berkat, berkat…!”, saya memuji Islam.

“Betul Hasrizal. Ia soal keberkatan. Walaupun macam-macam yang kita makan,kita tidak tahu pada bahagian mana makanan kita yang Allah pilih sebagai asbab untuk-Nya menurunkan barakah”, kata Islam.

Ya, apa yang Islam katakan itu memang benar. Ia mengingatkan saya kepada sepotong hadith Nabi SAW:

Dari Jabir, beliau mendengar Nabi s.a.w. bersabda: “Apabila sesiapa dari kalangan kamu makan, dan jatuh sejemput dari tangan, maka bersihkanlah habuk yang terlekat pada makanan itu dan hendaklah dia memakannya. Jangan tinggalkan bahagian itu untuk syaitan. Dan janganlah dibersihkan tanganmu dengan kain pengelap sehingga dia telah menjilat (jari-jari)nya. Sesungguhnya seseorang itu tidak tahu pada bahagian manakah makanannya yang diberkati Allah”

Islam telah mengingatkan saya kepada pelajaran yang amat berharga. Pakcik Mehmet juga telah mengingatkan saya tentang ilmu yang berguna. Jangan pandang kecil, selagi ia berupa satu kebajikan dan kebaikan. Penilainya adalah Tuhan, Allah yang menilai amal pada harga sebuah iman. Jangan tangguhkan kebaikan yang kecil semata-mata mahu menunggu peluang amal yang besar.

Itu di Turki.

TERTIB MAK ANJANG DI LONDON


Hal ini juga mengingatkan saya kepada peristiwa semasa saya berjamu makan di rumah Pak Anjang saya di Baker Street, London. Pagi itu, kebetulan Pak Ngah sekeluarga datang dari Malaysia. Maka kami semua berkumpul di rumah Pak Anjang. Rumah di Baker Street ini Pak Anjang belikan untuk anaknya, Ziad yang belajar di Westminster University, di seberang jalan.

Saya amat kagum semasa melihat Mak Anjang memasak di dapur. Lebihan nasi malam tadi dikumpulkannya. Kemudian kerak nasi itu pula direndam di dalam air panas dan kemudian ditos. Semua bahagian nasi yang berlebihan malam tadi, Mak Anjang gunakan untuk memasak nasi gorengnya. Tidak ada bahagian makanan mana yang tersisa. Mungkin ini sebahagian daripada sikap Mak Anjang sekeluarga yang menjadi tangga mereka membina kehidupan yang berjaya. Walaupun sudah bertaraf jutawan, Mak Anjang dan Pak Anjang sekeluarga masih mengambil kira soal-soal kecil seperti kerak nasi di dapur.

Saya amat menghargai pelajaran itu.

Marilah kita bersama-sama menghitung dan mengambil kira benda-benda kecil yang kita abaikan selama ini. Mungkin pada yang kecil halus itulah Allah menyentuh kehidupan kita dengan barakah.

Sebagaimana kebaikan yang kecil mungkin menjadi punca keberkatan Allah, maka berhati-hati jugalah dengan dosa-dosa yang kita anggap kecil. Ia menjadi punca murka Allah. Dalam setahun, mungkin seorang dua sahaja warga negara kita yang mati dibaham harimau. Namun, jumlah yang mati kerana gigitan seekor nyamuk, jauh berganda. Yang kecil jangan dipandang remeh, yang besar yang disangka segala-galanya.

Mari luruskan saf, mari kemaskan saf, mari habiskan makanan, mari pelihara adab dalam iman. Murahkan senyuman, banyakkanlah membuat kebaikan yang mudah dan kecil tapi berpanjangan.Mengubah ranting dari jalan agar jangan ada yang kesakitan, memandang wajah saudara dengan air muka manis penuh senyuman. Banyak-banyakkan berbuat kebaikan, tidak diketahui yang mana bakal dipilih Tuhan, jadi pemboleh ke syurga yang berkekalan.

Jangan pandang kecil pada RM1 yang mahu didermakan kepada mustadh’afeen di Palestin! Sikit-sikit, lama-lama jadi bukit


Makes me wanna know more about different cultures and practices around the globe more! Especially on how the Muslims there practice their religion! I wanna start a mini personal project on this insyaAllah. Fun fun fun!

Was blog-hopping around and came across this from Bro Faruq's blog:

Precious metals like gold and silver are found in the depths of the earth. So too are precious stones like diamonds and rubies. Pearls are found in the deep sea. The most beautiful and valuable things on this earth are covered. They don't parade themselves. Women were created beautiful by God, so He wants them to cover up, just like the gems and pearls He created - in fact, even more so, because women are more beloved to Him than gems and pearls.

Makes me smile, and makes me pray that one day I'll hear Him say to me, "Peace be upon you, I am pleased with you" as one of the Zain Bikha songs go.

I feel so far away from His pleasure... :'(

Received this article in an e-mail and I was compelled to share. I'm neither an ahli-sirah nor a great astronomer or geologists, but I've heard of this and I believe in what the Qur'an says.

Moon Split
Did you ever know that the Moon was split?



This picture shows the location of the “Rocky Belt” which shows the moon was once split

Some NASA scientists were trying to study the internal structure of the moon to see what similarities it has with the Earth, and they said that they were surprised to find a ‘Belt of Rocks’ that goes from the surface of the moon right to the inner depths.
Being quite surprised, they gave this information to their geologists, who were also surprised, as they concluded that this couldn’t be unless the moon was once split and resealed. The rocks on the belt are a result of the impact during the time that the two halves of the moon recombined.

Allah revealed Surat al Qamar: “The hour has come near and the moon has split, and when they see a sign, they turn and say ‘this is a continuous magic’ and they disbelieved and followed their desires…”
This verse of the Quran was written in the days of the prophet Muhammad in Makkah more than 1400 years back

Sources:
Please log in to the Best WebSite from one of the Well known Scientist in the World Dr. Zaghloul El Naggar

English: http://www.elnaggarzr.com/Test_fre/English/index_E.asp



For more miracles, visit http://www.greatmiracles.com/page1002.html

Finished Meg Cabot's Valentine Princess in slightly over an hour. Not much of princessy stuff.

And found this on youtube:

Missing the stage. Guess the curtains had long closed in front of me. For good.

Good luck with Pentas.

Lurlene MacDaniel never fails to make my eyes swell red with tears. This time the book not only tells of death as most of her other books does, but it also tells of life. Wonderful story. Makes me feel like wanting to learn the flute

Chorus
Lay down your head
And go to sleep
May you dream
Of gardens sweet
Close your eyes
And dream away
Of Allah’s gifts
To you this day

The sun that rose upon your head
As you lay within your bed
Green grass, blue skies and waters deep
Of this and more, dream in your sleep.

Chorus

The earth and all that it contains
With Allah’s blessing, He sustains
Remember this, my dear, in sleep
That Allah’s pleasure we must seek.

Chorus

Allah created all you see
The mountains, birds and humming bees
To Him we will return one day
So turn to Him again and pray.
[ www.thenasheedlyrics.com ]

Chorus

And as you drift off to sleep
In my heart your love I’ll keep
You are so special my dear.
Cause Allah brings our hearts so near.

Chorus

Started the week feeling motivated, was erm... tired and sleepy when it reaches Wednesday and Thursday afternoon but the motivation is back!!!

I dunno, but I think thinking about NI simply kindles a fire in me. I can't sleep thinking about NI. Chewahh, cam real. Jap lagi, think punya think tertido jugak...

Anyway, do you know what is Senah Gelap? Tak tau kan kan? Meh kiter bagi tau. It means 'snuggle up', haha in bahasa ape-entah (in dunno-what language). K, not funny, I know.

Spent alot today. Splurge!!! Not that I've gotten my allowance yet. No! Let's see, I've bought presents for 2 friends costing me $15 altogether. Photocopied and binded 2 sets of a booklet which costs $9.40, dang! And to make myself happy after all that forking out, I bought myself 3 sushis - 80c + 90c (supposed to be $1.80 but got 50% discount one). Yeah they filled my tummy, but man... they don't really make me feel happy. Especially when I needed to pay library fees, which adds up to $14.10, not to mention another $5 cashcard top-up! Gosh. In total is like $45.20!! Wow. That doesn't include my lunch, which fortunately didn't cost too much. $2 + $1 for drinks and another $1.(20 I think) for another drink.

Oh, TLL has got a new fish tank, with a handicapped turtle, 5 more big fishes and dunno how many small fishes. According to Ya Zhi, that turtle is a soft shell one, which can be eaten. Hmm.. Eww...

My digest didn't work well today. I suspect the reagents were contaminated, either SAP or klenow. I'm sure I did everything else properly!

Feeling excitedly sleepy. Erm, yea...

SIP is getting slightly better. MP is taxing (*gasp* proposal!!) So ppl, if you had separate SIP and MP, don't complain. I shouldn't be complainig either. Hearing about the 2 earthquakes at Pakistan (eh?) killing 160 dear to the others, and leaving 15000homeless, I should be grateful.

'Have you Heard'
Each day we are reminded
and each day we say
there's not much that we can do
it seems so far away
So we live our lives in silence
pretending not to hear
the voices of our people
The cry is so so clear
Why do we stand by spectating
while our brothers cry jihad?
We are bound by one conviction:
we believe in Allah
Have you heard of Kosova, of Afghanistan?
Have you heard of Palestine [2nd chorus: Bosnia]
of Chechan?
Have you heard of all these people
persecuted in their land?
Do you know that all these people are dying for Islam?
Have you heard, have you heard
have you heard?

'Forgive Me When I Whine'
Today, upon a bus I saw a girl with golden hair,
And in my heart I wished that I was just as fair
When suddenly she rose to leave, I saw her hobble down the aisle.
She had one leg and wore a crutch, but as she passed, a smile.
Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 legs to walk upon and the world is mine.

I stopped to buy some candy; met a boy who had such charm.
We talked, he seemed so happy, if I were late, it do no harm.
And as I left, he said to me, 'Thank you, you've been so kind.
It's nice to talk with folks like you. You see,' he said, 'I'm blind.'
Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 eyes to see the world and the world is mine.

Later that day on my way, I saw a boy with eyes of blue.
He watched the other children play; he did not know what to do.
I stopped a moment, then I said, 'Why don't you join the others, dear?'
He kept on looking straight ahead and then I knew he could not hear
Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 ears to hear the world and world is mine.

With legs to take me where I'd go.
With eyes to see the sunset glow.
With ears to hear what I'd know
Oh the world is mine

I stopped for a moment, just look how much I have
Everywhere, in all our lives, these are His signs

Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have been blessed indeed, and the world is mine
Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have been blessed indeed, and the world is mine

Dini hari ketika malam masih bersemayam, udara dingin dan mencekam, hanya yang kedengaran binatang malam. Aku terbangun, ku raih jam tangan menunjukkan pukul 3 malam.


Aku berkata : aku ingin sholat tahajud malam ini

Syaitan berkata : baru pukul 3, nanti saja, kan masih ngantuk

Aku berkata : tapi aku ingin sholat tahajud lho, waktu-waktu begini

Syaitan berkata : pukul 3 lewat 30 menit kan bisa juga


Aku tertidur lagi


Aku berkata : astaghfirullah, hari sudah pukul 4 aku ingin sholat tahajud

Syaitan berkata : tanggung, tidur saja, kan mata masih mengantuk dan badan masih lemas

Aku berkata : tapi aku ingin tahajud, sebentar lagi shubuh akan datang

Syaitan berkata : nanti saja, ntar lagi juga bisa…hehe


Aku terlelap lagi, rencana aku sholat tahajud tidak jadi.


Aku berkata : suara azan sudah terdengar ya ?

Syaitan berkata : belum, baru ngaji di masjid sana

Aku berkata : lha, itukan azan, sejelas itu masak nggak dengar sih

Syaitan berkata : iya, tapi itukan baru azan, belum iqamat kok

Aku berkata : nanti aku tertidur lagi, nanti shubuhku telat

Syaitan berkata : ah enggak kok, ntar juga bisa bangun lagi

Aku berkata : tahajud aku nggak jadi lho, ntar Shubuh juga lewat bisa bahaya kan

Syaitan berkata : santai aja, nggak pa-pa kok, masjid kan dekat bisa aja setelah iqamat baru berangkat, lagian dirumah juga bisa sholat kok…..hehe


Aku ngorok lagi, akhirnya sholat shubuh berjamaah di masjid-pun aku gagal


Aku berkata : ya Allah, aku kesiangan lagi, udah pukul berapa nih, pukul 5 lewat 30, Astaghfirullah, Shubuh telat lagi………duh……….diri…

Syaitan berkata : hahahaha, biasa lah, sekali-kali

Aku berkata : awas loe ya, ntar ku jitak kepal loe, gara-gara loe gue telat shubuh


Aku masih duduk di sajadah dalam penyesalan, kenapa sholat shubuh ku terlambat


Syaitan berkata : hallo kawan, lagi ngapain neh ?? kok kayak orang nyesel gitu ?

Aku berkata : siapa kawan loe, emangnya loe siapa ? gue bukan teman loe, loe aja nyang ngaku-ngaku teman gue

Syaitan berkata : kamu kan udah nurutin kata gue, berarti loe kawan gue….hehe

Aku berkata : pergi sana, aku ingin berzikir dan berdoa

Syaitan berkata : lha, jangan sewot gitu dong, hari kan udah siang, mana siap-siap pergi kerja lagi, nggak usah aja deh zikir dan doanya, kan zikir dijalan juga bisa ato dimana aja kan bisa juga tuh zikir ama doanya….hehe

Aku berkata : dasar penggoda kau, udah pergi sana !

Syaitan berkata : lha, wong cuman ngasih tau aja, kok malah marah ?


Pagi ini ku berangkat pergi kerja dengan bermuram durja.


Syaitan berkata : kenapa teman, kok kayak orang abis kehilangan sesuatu aja

Aku berkata : emang iya !!, gue kehilangan sholat tahajud tadi malam, lalu ketinggalan sholat shubuh di masjid, malah telat sholat shubuh, di rumah lagi, siapa yang nggak sedih

Syaitan berkata : tenang saja, besok-besok juga bisa kok di perbaiki, kan kali ini aja..

Aku berkata : tapi inikan saya nyang rugi, kesempatan tadi malam kan nggak bisa di jemput lagi

Syaitan berkata : ya udah, sekarang yang penting hilangkan sewot mu itu. Oh ya, ada cewek cantik tuh, ngitung-ngitung ngilangin suntuk loe, liat cantik nian euy !

Aku berkata : dasar syaitan loe, goda orang trus, liat wanita cantik apalagi sampe nafsu gitu, kan dosa tau !

Syaitan berkata : lha, mumpung ada kesempatan bro, ntar menghilang lagi di tikungan jalan sana, ayo cepetan liat…

Aku berkata : tidak ! aku tak ingin nambah dosa lagi, udah tahajud enggak, shubuh telat, ngaji Qur’an pun berlalu.

Syaitan berkata : duh.. kamu ini, rugi lho nggak liat tuh cewek cakep..


Aku tetap mengendarai kendaraanku dengan tenang tak bergeming, tapi syaitan masih menemani perjalananku, hingga aku bertanya ;


Aku berkata : ngomong-ngomong kamoe ini pintar ya goda orang.

Syaitan berkata : iya dong, kan itu memang profesi gue sejak di usir dari Surga dulu.

Aku berkata : trus, gimana cara kamoe goda ulama ?

Syaitan berkata : dengan ilmunya, sifat ujub (merasa sholeh), dan popularitas

Aku berkata : goda penguasa ?

Syaitan berkata : dengan jabatannya, dia bisa berbuat sekehendak nafsunya, menzalimi orang lain, memperkaya diri, main dengan perempuan lain yang haram baginya.

Aku berkata : goda pengusaha ?

Syaitan berkata : dengan kekayaannya, dia bisa berbuat apapun, semuanya bisa dia miliki, mobil mengkilat, rumah bertingkat, cewek-cewek cakep.

Aku berkata : goda rakyat jelata ?

Syaitan berkata : dengan kemiskinannya, ia bisa menjadi engkar kepada Allah, dia akan jadi orang pengumpat, pengomel, pemalas dan mengeluhi nasib lalu bisa berakhir bunuh diri.

Aku berkata : goda orang-orang kebanyakan, orang awam gitu ?

Syaitan berkata : dengan kebodohannya (tidak mengerti dengan agama), aku akan adu domba mereka, dan mereka akan saling meng-ghibah (gosip), menyebarkan keburukan antara mereka, dan memicu permusuhan antar mereka.

Aku berkata : lantas orang yang paling kamu benci itu siapa ?

Syaitan berkata : orang yang suka ke masjid, orang yang sholeh, semua orang yang ahli ibadah, orang yang senantiasa taat kepada Allah, para da’I penyeru kepada Allah dan para pejuang dijalan Allah.

Aku berkata : lalu kamu takut sama apa ?

Syaitan berkata : aku takut dengan Ayat kursi, dan seluruh isi Qur’an dan aku paling takut juga jika orang membaca nama-nama Allah.

Aku berkata : kalau begitu, aku berlindung kepada Allah dari gangguan dan godaan dirimu yang terkutuk.


Lalu aku baca Qur’an apa saja yang aku hafal, kemudian syaitan pergi dan menghilang dari hadapanku, karena dirinya kepanasan.