It hasn't rained for 2 days. Good good. Rain these days just makes me wanna snuggle up under my comforter and go to sleep whole day long. Besides it is so troublesome to bring my umbrella around. And that umbrella is.... nevermind. I need to get myself a bigger bag and an umbrella. Soon.

Just as the sun has been shining through, my smile has been slowly shining through as well. Of course the dark clouds still hang around and cover that smile on and off.

Know why my smile is slowly shining through? Cos firstly I'm all prepared for tomorrow morning and now that Shara and Shaza have kindly accepted to help me present the Tafsir presentation and Audi too has decided to run away from his camp for awhile and help Arif present the Bunayya presentation, I can concentrate solely on my speech. And I've managed to cut it shorter so I'll only be up there on the stage (I hope not to embarrass myself) for 5 mins.

However I've yet to finish my Musthalah Hadith revision. I still have that 5 chapters I was talking about earlier. I'll chiong it out tonight, insyaAllah.

Oh btw, my dad's not staying to watch me give my speech. Don't ask.

Oh ya, another reason why I'd been smiling is cos I'd been meeting new people. Like last Thursday, I shared a of Nasi lemak with this nenek and this one Chinese-looking lady whom I normally see at Ghufran but never chatted with before. I still don't fancy chatting with the nenek long long cos I find the way she talks very 'manja'. And in my dictionary, manja doesn't exist unless it applies to ME. Hehe. But I'm not that manja larh. I find it that manjaness can be very irritating and no, I don't wish to irritate people. Though, I do feel that my voice gets a bit whiny sometimes. Tak tau camne nak tukar ar.

The chinese-looking lady, I found out is actually of mixed blood and she's actually a teacher at East View Sec teaching Bio and Chem. Haha, it was nice chatting to her. Oh and she's from TP! She took engineering but turns out to be a science teacher haha. And she told me that she only comes on Wednesdays and Thursday for the syarahan, but only after she finish marking. I think I drop by masjid on Thursdays more than on any other days (cept Tues and Sat when I have meeting and class) haha, cos really I do remember seeing her quite a lot of times before.

Anyway, yesterday I went to Perdaus Bedok to meet Ustazah Farhana and I was late, so I took a taxi (lama benar aku tak naik taxi. Mahal seh! $5.60 aku kena!! Boleh beli Mac EVM seh) and the uncle in the taxi was like, I dunno ar what he was like! But he talked as if I'm such a failure like that. Eh hello uncle, you if so smart, why drive taxi?? O level entah ada ke tak, bebual step paham je. He was like asking me how's my studies, can go uni not, I top 5 people during O level not, I got cholarship not. Wei! Dah lah pekak, aku bebual pon "Hah? Hah? Hah?", nak banyak colok pulak. Then I saw I wanna be researcher, he ask why don't want become doctor lah ape lah. Oi, suker aku ar! Irritated seh ngan uncle tu. Macam aku anak dia pulak. Serious, cara dia cakap not as a concerned taxi driver showing his concern for and give advice to and motivate a young Singaporean student to achieve greater heights in life, but cara dia macam sindir gitu. Uncle, please eh, I know very well how competitive it is in Singapore and how good I must be in order just to survive, you don't have to membebel about it in front of me. Ikut hati nak aje aku turn the tables around. But I didn't want to prolong the conversation. Then dia continue lagi! Tanya tak panas ke pakai tutup2. Abistu dia sendiri cakap, nowadays, young people don't wear like you. Abe now that I'm wearing decently like this, you're like discouraging me. Betul ar, I think he'd had such a boring day such that he wanna add some spice into everything that comes out of his mouth. Haha, Fatin would say, "Maplek betol!"

Kat dalam office Perdaus lagi satu hal. It was a weird experience haha. Cos there were two friendly asatizahs in the office and asked for my name, and when I told them my name, they're like, "Ohhhhh! Awak lah ni Marliyana!" and "Marliyana? Marliyana Mohd. Noor??". Aik? Sejak bila namaku tersebar luas nih?? Tak pernah-pernah aku bebual ngan asatizah2 nih! Cos I pay my fees using GIRO so I don't enter the office often. Only at most once a year since Sec 1 to Sec 4agaknya. Even Ustazah Farhana and Arif don't know who I am when they heard my name over the phone. Entah la eh.

Oh, then Ustazah Norliza (I think that's her name) sent me to Tampines (best best, though the aircon was blowing full blast in my face that I felt as if I've got a frozen nose when I alighted her car) and I got to know her better as well, how she ended up working at Perdaus Bedok and all. Now, she's someone who's really trying to motivate people to do better. So in a way, my ride to Perdaus is somewhat opposite of the ride back home eventhough we were on a pretty much similar topic.

Then last night had usrah at Kak Maryam's house on the topic of hijab/tudung. From all that we discussed about, I learnt two main things:

1. I was really jahil last time even though I attend madrasah and such and I am not a good person now either (though better in many ways), I haven't reached the best a Muslimah youth can be, and my iman is relly not kuat. Well, I am trying to improve. It takes time, slowly slowly start jinak-jinak, then betol2 perbetolkan diri. It's an ongoing process. Gakkan nak mendadak, my parents pon terkejot berok agaknya. And no, my family is not as religious as you may think. Neither am I dear friends. There are people out there so much better than me, and some of them are my very own sisters i've crossed paths with and I'm very glad and grateful that our path had crossed. Eh panjang pulak ceritanya.

2. There is really so much hikmah behind me not being able to enter JC cos my grades weren't good enough. I'm very glad and grateful. I really think that 2006 was a turning point in my life. Even when I read my entries from 2006, it was... dunno what to say lah, other than alhamdulillah, segala puji bagi Allah. The fasting month in 2006 especially. Truly, I'm grateful. indeed Allah knows best what's good for you and what's not.

opps, I took up too much time. Gotta go. Thanks for reading!