Seriously uh, what a day, what a day, what a day!!!!

I've got news, good news actually but somehow they feel like a burden on me. I know they are opportunities for me, and I know some opportunities only come once never to knock on your door ever again if you decide to turn it down.

On the other hand, I had a chat with my mum. She was having her own dilemma and she was feeling grieved over it. And obviously I as her daughter don't want her to feel grieved. But what makes ME feel grieved now is that, part of the reason she was grieved was because of ME. Oh wow...

I am no good. I know that. I have compared myself with others. I AM no good. I have so much to improve. SO SO much.

I'm so confused!! I'm like sitting here thinking and thinking, what should I do, what am I supposed to do, what what WHAT??!!

And I'd been getting a lot of 'why's from people. Why this. Why that. Why why WHY??? But I can't blame them for asking 'why' uh. It's true that everything I do should have a very good reason as to WHY in the world did I decide to do it. But it's just that sometimes it feels as if I'm being interrogated. It's so intimidating you know. It's so so scary. Someone told me, "You look like you were being bullied!" Ya, I know.. Seriously, sometimes I just shrink in my seat when I'm asked 'why' such that I feel like there's this big bully in front of me. Haha, that is soooo exaggerating I know.

Things have not been easy lately. I had to make decisions. I had to seriously manage my time. There's a lottt of things I learnt no doubt. Things I learn from the mistakes I did. And, yeah there were a LOT of mistakes. Ouch, it's always painful to fall down, uhuh.

Time really flies. i can't believe it's Friday! Where did the week go to??!! I thought it was just this afternoon I was meeting my fellow NIans at Afghanistan!! What did I do this week??

Yes, quite a lot happened, but it feels like NOTHING is done! Zero, kosong, nada! Oh no, oh no, oh no! <---that stands for *gasp* *panics!!!!!*

K, gotta go back to bed work...

Cu when I cu...

Please don't leave me alone. I'm scared. Very very scared...

[P.S. the title may sound so random. But I DO have a REASON for it, just that I'm too full to explain. Why do you bother to know about my choice of title anyway. Hah, NAH, amek kau! I juz gave you a 'why' question]