I was asked to fill a flag with 6 personal things, but I realised, behind each word, phrase or sentence I wrote, there is a story behind it. And where else can I store it safely other than on my blog (the paper itself looks so terrible already).

1. Greatest Personal Achievement

I don't think I've done anything great to begin with. I feel that everything I do is wrong or should/could have been better in so many ways. Maybe it's my high expectations that I feel I've not achieved anything. Perhaps. Or maybe, I'm still young, just 19 (Kem Perkasa made me aware how young I am. I was the youngest at the start and at the end, I was still the fourth youngest out of like 50 pax) and feel that there are greater things I can achieve. Thus, nothing feels great for now. I feel that I have the potential and capability to do more. Though at the same time, I'm afraid to scale greater heights. I'm happy in my comfort zone (duhh!).

If in terms of the events I've organised, I always feel that there is something I hadn't done during the camp. There is something that went wrong because of me (and my decisions), something that I overlooked or something. Jannatul Bunayya Camp, I feel that I could have done more than helping out on the day itself. Camp xplore, I always feel I could have controlled the time better and should have been more strict. BTF iftar, I should have been more prepared on what to say. Night cycling, I should have given better judgements and decisions and I shouldn't have neglected my duty towards the end of the event.

If in terms of academic, I always feel I could have done better than my brother. He beat me both during PSLE and O levels. He beat me badly during O levels! Cause I did extremely badly.

Though I know there's a reason for everything which happens, and I'm grateful that all these things happen. Yet, I can't say that there is anything I can proudly call my 'greatest personal achievement".

2. Greatest Problem You Have Solved In Your Organisation

None. Firstly, because I'm still rather new in the organisations I'm in I guess and to me, everything seems smooth sailing. Secondly, I guess I take things for granted. If there's any problems at all, I wouldn't even be aware of it because I guess I feel that there are people who would solve it. Opps!

3. Principle/Commitment That You'd Never Forget

I don't understand the question actually.

But I guess, a principle of life that I heard that I wouldn't forget is perhaps what Brother Mohksin said. Actually he said it regarding how our attitude/appearance should be during an event, but I take it as how I should be in life also. We should appear like a duck. On the surface, a duck appears calm, relaxed and composed. However, underwater, it's feet are moving extremely quickly to keep itself afloat and moving...

If commitment, I don'y think I shall ever forget being in Fityan and NI. I;m part of them and they are part of me. Flows with my blood!

4. Personal Motto

"Niat mesti betul." (Like duhh) Innamal a'malu binniat... Setiap perbuatan itu hendaklah dimulai dengan niat, dan niat itu hendaklah niat yang betul supaya perbuatan itu diberkatiNya.

"With passion, comes perserverance and endurance." Things that I'm really passionate with doing, I'd complete it by hook or by crook, even if I have to climb over Mount Everest and swim across 7 oceans (alahh, this is is what you call... ape name dia tu? Metaphor eh?) But if my interest is neither here nor there, don't bother ehk. I won't finish it even if a dog is chasing behind me (err, I think).

"I CAN make a difference." I believe that if you believe in this, then YES, you ARE gonna make a difference. This motto started with an incident which happened a looooong time ago. Ok, actually not so long ago larh. I started wearing tudung a few years back. Time tu pakai tudung pon masih tak betol. Al-maklum... Masih experiment the different styles I see lah kan... It happened that my mm's friend's daughter (from the block next to mine) saw me wearing the tudung and decided she wanted to wear too! Her mum told my mum how her daughter got inspired. I was so stunned when my mum retold it to me. But from then on, I feel that I have a responsibility to make a difference in the Malay Muslim community in Singapore. Maybe not much, but at least SOMETHING. Which brings me to my next motto:

It isn't exactly a motto larh... It's just what I believe in. Memang tidak dinafikan, at home I'm a different person, outside I'm a different person. But, both ARE ME. Just that at home everyone knows me already, so whatever I do I won't be leaving any kind of impression on them (dah 19 tahun beb tinggal sebumbung). Aku pekik macam tarzan pon no impact dah... Cuma kena marah je la haha. But outside, what I do somehow reflects on my upbringing, and wearing the tudung and getting involved in Muslim organisations and all, I feel that I'm bringing the name of 'Singapore Muslim Youth' wherever I go. Whatever comes out of my mouth still feels wrong (I'm never good with conversational skills larh ok) but at least I take care not to say bad words. Kadang-kadang terlepas, tu kes PMS or super-stress or having too much fun sampai tak sedar... Dah namanya manusia kan... Also I feel it's important to jaga akhlak and adab wherever you go larh. That's why the first badge I chose from the bag of badges Kak Maryam showed me, was the yellow one saying "Akhlak mulia semua orang suka" meaning: everyone likes good behaviour. Your akhlak reflects on a lot of things. Some people may find me a hypocrite, "Ape ni kat rumah lain kat luar lain?? Munafiq!" But, that's because they don't know me. My close friends whom I'm comfortable with have seen me outside acting how I do at home. I just feel it's a responsibility to uphold the name of "Singapore Muslim Youth"...

Ok lastly, (banyak eh personal motto aku) "Action speaks louder than words." I interpret in many ways. Firstly, if you have nothing important to say, keep quiet. Secondly, don't just say this say that. They don't count UNTIL you actually DO it. Thirdly, you don't have to speak to inspire hehe. This is from the tudung incident I talked about earlier. Currently, wherever I go, I'd wear the "Jom Jadi Baik" badge Liyana got for me. It means: Let's Be Good. I don't have to say anything. Just by wearing that badge, I've sent the message across. And I'd worn it since the first time I got it on the afternoon of Night Cycling. Nice timing hehe.

5. Things You Do Well

Anything that I'm passionate about I guess... Tu pon, not well enough... Haha entah.

6. If You Die Today, What Would You Like To Be Most Said About You?

Tak kisah lah! Kalau niari aku meninggal, besok I won't be here to hear it kan?? Orang nak cakap apa, cakaplah. Though daripada korang cakap, gossip, umpat, fitnah whatever, lagi baik korang take the time to sedekahkan aku Al-Fatihah.

Tapi kalau korang nak cakap jugak (ish degilnye), harap-harap yang baik la yang dipercakapkan, cause I wanna leave something good and not something bad for others after me to carry on with la kan. Maybe there are a lot more bad things to say about me than good things. Maybe amongst all the things people can say about me, there's only ONE good thing, then let me be remembered by that ONE thing.

But really, I don't care what you wanna say. It doesn't affect me in any way, right? It'd only affect the living. Oh, I forgot, I may still have living family members!! What people say won't affect me, yes, but it might affect them... Pandai-pandailah korang yang masih hidup handle dengan yang masih hidup (Waah, Marliyana kalau meninggal, tolak balak seh... Eh, duhh, gakkan aku nak ingat pasal dunia lagi?? I'd have better things to do and think about la dey. Alam kubur tu camne eh? Alam akhirat... Brr, I'm not ready.)

I wanna add one more larh: 7. If You Die Today, What Would You Want to Say to Others?

Please forgive me for all my wrongdoings towards you. (Kesalahan sesama manusia susah nih) Halalkan semuanya, kalau ada hutang be it hutang emas or hutang budi...

That's my personal banner (with my wasiat attached) phew. K nak tido (LAGI).