Dah lama tak lose temper. All these while (since I can't remember when at all), if I'm fed-up, I just go to a corner and cry sendiri or I shall just keep quieeeet je. Unless at home larh, then I throw tantrum (heheh).

But just now, I was super tired and annoyed and dizzy and frutrated and pissed off and it happened that someone really touched a nerve, I just lost it! Raised my voice and spoke really fast to get my point across. Doesn't matter if anyone else wanna speak! I just kept talking!

Astaghfirullah... Sry I raised my voice. Sry I lost my temper. But seriously ar, this is not the first time. The first time I let it go, took a deep breath and pretended nothing happened. The second time, I could still be patient. The third time, THAT'S IT! If you're better than me, I would gladly give up my place. I offered it not once ok. I realise I am not the best person for this task. I realise I make a lot of mistakes. I realise there are many other people better than me, including you. And that is why I gave up my place. But you refused to take. So now don't blame me!

I know it's good to have a 'devil's advocate' in a group larh. That way we don't miss anything. But, say only, never do anything, for what kan? Even you said it yourself.

Yes you're keen to go into the execution stage but remember, "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail." We ARE making progress as I have pointed us just now. OK???

I'm sick and tired of people persalahkan me larh. Seriously. Penat tau tak?? Why are all the responsibility on me?? If I make a decision on my own, later you people will say, "Then might as well don't have to have us here" but if I try to get a consensus, you people say, "It's a waste of time. Can we decide something now?"

It's so hard to be a leader. I am no leader larh

Me? A khalifah? I dunno larh...

Maybe I'm just too sensitive. Maybe I'm just taking things too personal. But maybe, you should think about how others would feel...

Yes time is precious. Especially after going through this DRP, YEAH time IS very precious.

You're not the only one who's busy. I AM TOO. You're not the only one with a lot of commitments. I DO TOO! At least you get paid. I don't, yet I'm not complaining. Neither am I asking for sympathy. I am just asking for your understanding and cooperation.

I'm sry I created such a tension earlier. I'm sry I couldn't keep things in control. But I am NOT gonna put all blame on myself (as I have always done). You have a role to play too.

Please, I'm just asking for understanding. And keikhlasan to help out. I'm not forcing you. If you feel I am forcing you, then, by all means, you may leave the team. I'm honest. We're doing this to gain Allah's pleasure are we not? So, if you're doing this because you feel I have cornered you, then I shall step back (by a hundred yards if I have to) and you may move away, because there is no point! You do not gain and neither would I.

Once again, for the third time, I'm sry...

I AM tired. I laid back in the bus ride home just now and at one point the bus skidded to a stop, I felt the whole world spinning.

To sesiapa yang terasa, perhaps I'm talking about you. Perhaps not. I do not mention names and you shall not ask me who.

To the rest, I do apologize, whether it is my fault or not, it's ok, I apologize.

DANG! You made me lose my temper la! And I can't cool down even now! A'uzubillah himinasyaitanirrajim. Astaghfirullah...