It's 9:27pm and I have 297 posts prior to this...

And I just lost all my music files on my MP3, save for 2, and I don't know what happened! They just disappeared! Is there a virtual Bermuda's Triangle on my laptop?? I was deleting stuff from my MP3 then suddenly a pop-up err.. popped-up and it says it's 'something' 166 files already! So I quickly clicked cancel larh! Then my Windows Media Player suddenly stopped playing and I realise more than 100 songs have disappeared from my MP3 folder. But if I'd accidentally deleted them, they'd be in the recycle bin along with the few files I was deleting previously. But, they're not there! Neither are they anywhere else on my laptop system! So where did they go??? I couldn't have clicked 'cut' as I wasn't even in my music folder where my music files are saved. I was at the general file! And if I had clicked 'cut' then I can 'paste' them back right? But there's nothing to paste!!! Any idea where my files went? :(

Anyway, exams are over. I thought I'd be jumping up and down in joy and celebration, but after a few minutes of exhilaration, suddenly I'm filled with mixed emotions like yesterday again. And the most distinct emotion is worry. I'm so worried!! About a million gazillion things! And to top it all up, now I'm worrying what I can eat for dinner, since the nuggets bought earlier was awful-they contain some wasabi thingy, and now my music files that keep me company whenever I switched on my laptop (my MP3 has been non-fuctional as an MP3 for weeks already, it just acts as a 1GB thumbddrive right now)are gone..

I think what I'm most worried about is how to divide my time. I can feel the tugs of various responsibilities everywhere on me, especially my mind. It's a big jumbled up mess in there. Anybody care to remind me how did I end up like this again? There's at least 10 matters swimming in my mind creating turbulent tsunami waves! Sorry for all this drama but it is true! I think the tsunami is wiping away life in my precious brain cells. Haiz, brain cells also you cannot have too little and you cannot have too much (tumour).

Actually I'm fine with having a lot of things in my head. Used to it already. Hey I'm sure lots of all you youths out there (and as Hafiz 'kindly' pointed out, my teenage years are going!!) enjoy multitasking, or at least, HAVE TO multitask. Just that when you don't know where to begin stopping the big headache arising and you forget your purpose, you just lose it.

Something light to look forward to... I'm gonna eat at Seoul garden with Ad and Jamie tomorrow afternoon!! I think I'm gonna eat like at monster tomorrow. I'm hungry... Then on Friday, have an outing with my lovely sisters from NI to go eat halal donuts!! And the day will end off with an usrah (there has been no usrah in my life for a month already... I need a booster!). Saturday, there are a few erm... proposed plans and even if all are cancelled, I'd need a sleep in the day 'cause I'd be up the whole night and the whole of Sunday afternoon! I have a quest (chey... macam paham!) on Saturday night and I need my guts and a clear mind to survive it and without proper rest, I'm afraid I'd transform into a zombie again.

I really really wanna go to the Afghanistan area (Tampines dwellers would know where I'm really referring to) now to go buy a copy of La Tahzan. I was soooooooo close to buying it on last sunday but being the indecisive me, I couldn't decide which would I benefit more from: the English one or the Malay one. Because normally my religious books are in Malay as I can't grasp those ayat Qur'an containing 'Lord', 'thou', 'thee' and so on. But on the other hand, I'd like to view the book as a novel and I seriously do not read Malay novels, meaning that the English version is better! I dunno larh... Oh and I saw a compilation of Hadith from Imam Bukhari and Imam Muslim and Riyadhus Shalihin and I sooooo wanna buy them. $$$$$.

I think, the first thing I need to do is actually to revamp my room and include a study table and a big book shelf, which would mean condensing my bed into a single-sized one boo hoo... Anybody free to design my room for me to maximise whatever limited space I have? Nah, I think I prefer to do that myself. If there's someone willing to design something for me, I'd rather that person design a blog layout for me. I am getting bored of it, and people are too. It'd be nice to do it myself but I hadn't been very successful in blog layout designing with all the html and java and what-nots so far.

Anyway who enjoys reading daud Yusuf's section in Manja mag or Sumiko Tan's posts in Sunday Times reflect section? I do!! My favourite sections, apart from the cartoon lol. I don't read news unless I have a need to, or when something really interesting and exciting and happening attracts my attention, like the Youth Olympics for example. Politics like those about Benazir Bhutto and Hillary Duff, opps I mean Hillary Clinton and whatever her opponent's name is (I read a bit about this opponent's ideas and I think I like them, but a point to note, I know close to nothing about politics) put me off. Politicians can end up in jail, like the Myanmar lady, or asassinated, like Benazir Bhutto, or get corrupted, like... lemme think? Nevermind forget it.

You can call me patriotic or whatever, but I'm just grateful that I am born in such a peaceful tolerant caring country like Singapore. Small dot as it is... The size is nothing but an advantage. I'm glad our nation leaders are learned, knowledgeable individuals who learn from history and have a clear mission and vision (I still can't differentiate between these two) and no, I'm positive they don't take bribes. In this time, I see Mr Lee Hsien Long (Eh, correct right? My mind suddenly got confused with Mr Lee Kuan Yew lol), Mr Mah bow Tan, Mr Tharman Shanmuragatnam and Mr Muhammad Faishal Ibrahim putting special attention on youths. Hehe, if they talk about anything else other than youths, I'd most probably put the newspaper away or change the channel lol. I said, 'in this time', because perhaps there are others before (I started reading newspapers) that paid attention to youths larh. Mr Lee Hsien Long's appearance with the other youths awaiting for the result of the Youth Olympics made me smile and I still remember bits and pieces of what Mr Faisal mentioned after our BTF iftar last year (I had tears in my eyes then...). These are humble people caring enough to care for the people. Mr Lee Hsien Long (it is him right?) put up two scholarships or something like that after he got a raise in salary right? These people remind me of Khalifah Umar Al-Khattab who disguished as a commoner to see how his people are really faring and what he did when he saw the lady in the forest boiling stones to assure the hungry children that there's food when actually there is none. That is what leaders need to do. You earn respect that way.

Actually there's so much to learn from history (especially Islamic history, in my opinion). I saw that through KPR sessions this season and the 'Sejarah dan Tamadun Islam' module I'm currently taking at Andalus. There was a saying I heard somewhere... If you want to idolize someone and follow his/her actions, do so towards someone who's ending you already know, in other words someone who's dead. And there is no better example other than Rasulullah s.a.w. himself. Akhlaknya, ibadahnya, adabnya, keyakinannya... SubhanaAllah... I also liked listening/reading about Rabia Al-Adawiyah, exemplary indeed, but in my opinion is too hard to reach a level same to her. More realistically maybe would be the prophet s.a.w. first wife Siti Khadijah and most beloved daughter Fatimah. I can't wait for this Friday's usrah when we would share about Muslimah figures that can serve as teladan to us! Anyway I just realised I have friends who share the same names as those cool figures in history: Rabiatul Adawiyah, Siti Khadijah and Maryam who are from my circle of closed friends. I wonder who I'd meet next? Siti Hajar maybe?
Speaking of names, have you ever defined or googled your name. Haha you'd be surprised.

Wow, this is a very random long post! Lol, I need it to get some things off my mind and heart. Now, let's try untangling and springcleaning my brain a bit...

Exams over. Waiting for DRP results. Reload music files onto MP
3. Repair MP3. Can't wait for Seoul Garden outing. Can't wait for donut outing. Can't wait for usrah. Can't wait for movie screening. Can't wait for recce. Can't wait for madrasah. Can't wait for haflah. Buy books that I want. Read my books. Resource for DPIA essay materials. D'Talk program proposals and ideas for activities. Checkpoint and game ideas for Nite Cycling (details and logistic list included). Clean room. Revamp room. Change blog layout. Should apply for practical sessions and get my license by end of this year grr! Deliver items to cik Ros and Khala. Watch Secret dvd. Send sylvia's super-belated-postponed birthday present. Give Nadia and Sharmee's forgotten presents. Play netball!!!! Upgrade diri, upgrade iman, upgrade ibadah! Practice 6 Fityan commandments. Chill. I need a break...

Oh man... The headache's back... But hmm, I think I don't have much things to do afterall! I just need to focus AND GO GET ENOUGH REST!

P.S. If you actually reach here after reading every single word and phrase and sentence and paragraph and issue, you must be a true friend of mine indeed, to find out what a mess my mind is really. And if you actually reach here after scrolling that scrollbar on the right, you are still a wonderful friend to have actually bothered to visit my blog at all. And if you didn't reach here at all, then you can't be reading this right!!!