I foresee that this post will be long hehe. And I've checked that my internet and the autosave system is working fine :) I hope it will be till this post is safely posted. Ok, here goes!

Thoughts. Reflects the state of the mind and the body. Reflects the overall mental, spiritual, physical wellbeing of a person. Thoughts can be power because thoughts are the drive the pulls or pushes.

Why in the world am I talking about thoughts?

Firstly, it's because I recently completed the book titled "Book of a Thousand Days" by Shannon Hale. Ok I have to admit that the wolf part and the sing-to-heal part is rather ridiculous. But it is afterall a fantasy book. But apart from those two fantasy parts, the book tells of a story that sounds really real and possible. The book tells of obedience, of loyalty, of friendship, of love, of sacrifices and of hikmah. (What's hikmah in English eh? I've always thought wisdom can't really describe it all) And the book is in diary-form, meaning that it goes to the thoughts of the protagonist. (Somehow I feel like I'm writing a literature homework lol. I never was really good at it.) And it is just... personal and enables readers to connect and feel the emotions as if firsthand. Trust me, the emotions that the book evoked in me lasted at least 2 days. The feelings of misery, of hope, of fear, of happiness, of content, of disappointment, of fulfilment etc etc. "Book of a Thousand Days" is just the kind of book I enjoy. Fantasy yet filled with real life values and at the same time evokes all kinds of feelings in me. Great book, a must read.

What's even greater is that it inspires me to write a book. Not just any book, but a diary-like book of experiences. Not of any kind of experiences, but that of a Muslim youth in Singapore :D In English.

What, isn't a blog enough? Well, let's just say that I don't include all in my blog. It feels too personal to simply post it on the world wide web to let the whole world read.

But what difference does a book make? Wouldn't the whole world still read it? My answer is: maybe not. Come on, who would wanna publish a book written by a nobody like me? Who would read my book? (But then again though, all writers started as no one and there's people like Anne Frank who got her book/diary published for all to know what it was like being a young Jewish girl in Frankfurt during the German Occupation.) The book can be a gift to someone special passed on to generations of special people, in my hope to leave a tiny legacy, an ilmu that can be a benefit to others even till long after my death. Yes I will die one day. Everyone does. But not everyone leaves a legacy. Some leaves a name, but what point is it to leave behind your name. Leaving a legacy would benefit both the writer and the reader, insyaAllah.

It has always been my dream to write a book. But all the ideas that sparked either didn't start at all or simply just stopped in mid-writing. I believe there's no originality in all my stories. All cliche. So I stopped. But if it's a story of real life, then there's bound to be surprises and unexpected turns here and there. That's just how life is. And I believe my English is substantial enough. Maybe not equipped with a vast vocabulary, but at least my grammar is not bad and my style of writing is more or less easy to comprehend, though maybe a bit long-winded at times. Oh well *shrugs*

(I've got 2 title ready. As in I can't decide which. "A Book of Thoughts" or "Journey of Purpose" just like my blog.

Speaking of dreams, I have other dreams. Some really BIG dreams. Some small. Some general. Some personal. Some special. But mostly my dreams are long-term and would take alot of effort and a looooooong time to well... become reality.

Just to share one of the dreams I have which I wish to realise. I dream to be able to speak fluent Arabic and Mandarin, and read and write as well. These 2 languages have appealed to me as early as around primary 3. And I think my vocab just keeps expanding. Slooooowwwly though, I must add. I think I've got a new strategy. See how. I'll probably take 10 years to study the 'textbooks' I'd chosen hehe.

I got thinking about dreams, and choices, after I watched High School Musical 3 with my brother last night. Not the most suitable company to be watching HSM3 with haha, considering how looooooong ago he stopped formal studies. Wanted to watch with Jamie and Ad, but well, I guess I couldn't wait. With Jamie and Ad, we'll perhaps catch another movie aite? Like the dog cartoon movie, bolt I think. Or or there's another movie, erm also about dogs, it's a dog named Chloe hehe, maybe can ask Chloe, my friend - not the dog, along.

So anyway, HSM3 talks about dreams, aspirations, passion, friendship, graduation, separation, achievement etc. I'll be graduating soon, insyaAllah, and these similar thoughts frequently cross my mind. I'm still not so sure of the BIG dreams I have, of my aspirations and ambitions. I have a few in mind but I have no idea which I'd feel most at ease with doing. I wanna do something fun, yet challenging enough, and interactive but certainly beneficial to myself and/or the community. We'll see. I'll keep thinking till February comes. As for friendship and separation, I dunno... I've seen, sometimes separation does adverse negative things to a person. Though I doubt I'll go in that direction. I mean, so far I take 'moving on' in step rather easily. Afterall, I had to separate with friends many times in my life. Some of whom I totally lose contact with, which is rather sad actually. And I doubt I'll be going overseas, even if I do think about it sometimes, so separation is not really a matter lah. Achievement. This word probably means different things to different people. Myself, I categorise my achievements, if you can say so. I dunno. I don't think I achieved much in poly. Maybe the first year was fine, perfectly how I want it to be. But I slacked too much followig that, changed my lifestyle and even my principles. Haiz... It is something to sigh about really... Choices. I feel like I'm reaching a crossroad soon. There's so many possibilities to choose from! I'll choose when I have to haha.

A looong entry indeed. Just sharing my thoughts out loud. I wish I can talk as fluently as I type lol. Really, I stutter a lot actually while talking. I dunno, my brain and my mouth just can't work in unison. But my fingers are definitely in perfect tune and harmony with my mind hehe.

P.S. HSm3 really makes me wanna be involved in theatre again! Lucky Bolton, gets to get all he wants: Gabriella, basketball AND theatre. In real life though, more often than not, you'll be asked to question your priorities, make choices and face the consequences of certain sacrifices you just gotta make.

K dahh, toodles~