To be honest, I'm seriously at a loss of what to do or say. I'm thinking! or at least I'm trying to... My brain's half dead. Tutorial, essay, lab report, revision, family, friends all giving me a big headache. yet I can't find it in me to cry and let go and relieve the tensions. I'd find small joys that brighten up moments and then I'd find myself in the deep abyss again.

I feel senseless, unable to know what am I doing, where am I going and what should I do next, and I really don't like this feeling. It makes me feel lost and helpless and clueless. My defense mechanism of late has been to numb myself and let things pass by me as if I'm a lifeless form. Ignorance is bliss... To a certain extent... When you discover the damage that you had caused through that ignorance, you shatter into pieces with the damage, and thus, before you can repair the damage (if it can ever be repaired) you have to find ways to piece yourself back together first.

I'm trying to pick up the scattered pieces of me, and while doing so, I'm wondering how to piece everything up together to make me whole again. And on top of that, I'm wondering how to repair the damage too. It has come to a stage that I have to repair it, I can't keep going on pretending that the damage doesn't exist. But HOWWWWWW???

I'm so tired. Been sleeping late, waking up in the middle of the night, taking short naps following that and pushing myself through each day as I worked towards completing my essay and lab report. Urgh, I need to better manage my time.

Should I rest on it for the night?