I shall be driving again today :) Abit excited, abit nervous, abit "aiyar, just do it". I shall strive till I get a license this time round insyaAllah. It's about time... I dunno, I just feel like 21 is an age to get up and grow up. I never had the confidence that I will pass driving before this just as I had no confidence of being a facilitator or mentor. But at 21, I find myself saying that if I don't have confidence now, I never will.

I still don't have the confidence of leading a group of people my age or older towards the betterment of society though. Still hiding in my shell and telling myself that people will look down on my capabilities and there's no point in leading people whom I would have to spend time earning trust. I need to show what I'm capable of first (though I've yet to move towards it, since I don't know if that path is what I want to pursue in).

Haha, this reminds me of the conversation I had with Amina on the train a few days ago. She kept being surprised at what I'm capable of. And when I asked her what was her first impression of me the first time I stepped into the room for the first meeting with the advisors, commandant, deputy commandant (herself), coordinator and co-ccoordinator, she said that she thought that I look like an English teacher and is in the welfare role (HAHA). I as the head programmer was 5th in command and I guess I showed that I'm a follower rather than a leader back then. But the way Amina is surprised is like funny! She was so surprised at how the creativity and ideas flowed in programmes team (though that was largely due to a very wonderful team which included Luthfi the ideas generator). She was so surprised to know I was in silat and so can't imagine me doing it (actually I don't see myself doing it either, I was just trying new things heheh and I learned cool stuff indeed and I think I did lose some weight :D). She was shocked to see me carrying the thick Invertebrate Biology book around and can't see me as a Science-y person (well, if she means to say I don't look like a nerd, thank God, but really, I love and am passionate about Biology especially Molecular Biology stuff!). And she was super impressed when I solved all 3 (easy, medium AND hard) codes on mastermind in 7 steps or less! Hahahaha I may not show that I have IQ, but gosh, have I been showing like I'm such a dumb bimbo? Hmm, a point to ponder on ehhh.

Ok, I'm 2hrs away from driving. Whee? I should go get ready now, wouldn't want to be late.

Because of driving, I'm like super broke. Never in my life have I had less than $450-500 in my bank account and today it stands at $9 plus 0_o