It's 5.57am in the morning and my mind is pretty much in the same state that it was in last night. I keep finding that I am lost in a maze in the middle of nowhere finding for something which I'm not sure what and I have kinda lost track of where I am and which direction was I heading towards. Really, I think that's the best description I can give of my state right now. And if I were to describe the state of my mind right now, I guess the best would be: a plain white canvas draped across a heavily-graffitied big wall, which people had been flicking all kinds of colour paint on it and never bothering to explain to me why they do what had they just done leaving me to figure out what picture is being painted, even if it means taking a whole lot of imagination to link the dots of paint together.

I... dunno what to say. Maybe I need another plain white canvas to go over the wall again. *shrugs*

My very-much-repeated-phrase lately has been: I dunno, I dunno, I dunno!

I have no idea where did 2010 go to and what have I done these past 10 months.... I really do feel stagnant. Not that I hadn't been learning anything... I have, just that... I dunno.

I think right now I need someone to help me paint the big picture. The FULL big picture, and not just bits and pieces and asking me to figure it out. Though I doubt that'll happen. People have their own canvases to paint. It is really up to me to put a boundary around my canvas, get people to queue up and I need to personally supervise what kind of picture everyone will paint together. It is MY canvas.

I lost my compass. Anyone wanna lend me one? I wanna get out of this maze sooooooooon.