I dunno what happened, but after waking up from my afternoon nap, my right eye and ear suddenly feel like they'd been boxed. No kidding man... I have no idea my poor right side my face landed on while I sleep. It's definitely something hard and pretty much blunt. I'm thinking my hairclip, dunno lar... Ok I confess that my bed is rather messy, but it's big enough to fit me AND those stuff what...
Well... it's quite saddening to see the Ashes officially close down. You can thank Anni for that. Somehow I wish I'd been the one to delete the board, but it is Aura's not Anni's and the one we're mad at is Anni so it's unfair to delete the board. Whatever it is, IT WAS DELETED AND IT'S NO LONGER THERE.
On the brighter side though, we have a new site! It's called the Astral and whatever is going on in there now, you can thank Heath, Illu and me for them! *grins* And I think we've done a great job so far. It's more interactive. There's battles and rivalry and debates. And... I'm no longer the goody goody angel! I've made my character to be someone arrogant and selfish, which I sometime am in real life, opps! Anyway, check out the website at theastral.suddenlaunch3.com. Hope to see you there!
It's been quite some time since I last watched a movie at the Cinema. Let me see... I think it was Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire last year. Besides there's a few good movies showing now, well in my opinion anyway. There's The Shaggy Dog and Ice Age 2, both of which will provide tons of laughter yet have a meaningful storyline about family and friends. There's also a great movie coming out on April 9th, Tristan and Isolde. It's about those kind of forbidden love stories *eyes turn dreamy* hehe you get me. At first I thought of going with Alia, but then she's busy... So it's either Val and co., Sylvia or my mum haha. Val and co. and Sylvia are busy with JC, can't possibly disturb them. Even if they're free someday, that day would be Saturday and weekend ticket fares are so expensive! Looks like I'll be going with my mum then *shrugs*
I had a great so-called 'adventure' in Orchard today, ok yesterday... It was great, but my feet hurt by the end of the day haha.
My book was overdued yesterday so whatever it is I have to go library to return it. My initial plan was to go Tampines or Bedok library with my mum to return it and borrow 4 more Ann Rinaldi's books, but then my mum didn't feel like going out and so she asked me to ask my 2nd brother, who went to work this morning to find that the gate is closed. Since my brother had no other plans, we decided it'd be great to spend some time together at Orchard after he showed me where library@Orchard, which I'd been looking for for quite some time already, is.
And so we set off for Orchard...
When we reached Orchard, our first stop was the library. The design of the library is quite funny. The library is very small. I didn't even see the young adults' section; and the malay section does not even fill a full shelf! What's funnier is that the bookdrop is so far from the entrance, at a corner near the lift. Then you know what? There's only one borrowing station! There wasn't even any station to pay your fines, you actually have to line up at the counter leh... So anyway, picked two english fiction (fantasy) books by authors I don't know and another two Malay books for my mum. My mum told me not to borrow a romance book for her, but it was so hard to find anything NOT romance as Malay books are normally romance ok... In the end I ended up with two quite thin books on life stories. That took quite a while...
After that we went to Paragon. We went into Toys 'R' Us on the uppermost level first 'cause my brother wanted to see if the basketball set he saw earlier was still there and unfortunately, it wasn't. Don't worry, little John will get something. Even better, he might get something that he can play with or share with his sister, Julie! They're so adorable and disciplined. John can be soo funny at times too haha! Anyway, before my brother and I even had a chance to look for the basketball set, one of the staff approached us and practically FORCED us to sign up for the Toys 'R' Us star membership card. I was insisting that we don't go Toys 'R' Us often and all and she was insisting that the card is free and all they're trying to do is promote Toys 'R' Us. Whatever. Since there's no harm in it, my brother snd I filled in the forms. While we were writing, the girl/lady/woman/whoever said, "And when you have children, bring them here." I answered sarcastically, "And that'd be a long while away..." Lolx. I think she thought that my brother and I were a couple. So then, my brother and I played with some of the stuffed animals (I wish I can get those furry cats but I told myself I won't buy one more stuffed animal). My brother was mimicking Barney and moving the Barney toy to make it dance haha. Oh oh, and there was this biiiig Little Pony there and as I look at it, I wonder how do I resemble it. Lol, need to ask Alia that.
After that, we went to Metro to look at clothes. Actually, I think my brother wanted his friend working there to see me. From what I know, she don't like girls wearing tudung 'cause she think they're posers or something like that. WHATEVER. At least, those who wear tudung has already carried out one of the Islamic obligation and will be spared from being punished for showing skin (other than face and hands of course) in the hereafter (after-life, I dunno lol I always use Malay terms). By the way, there was some kind of fashion show going on on the first floor. Looks grand but naw... My brother said some of the models look old haha, I have no comments!
Aaah... Time for lunch! We had lunch at KFC at Cineleisure. I think it's my first time there whereas it's like my 20++ time there haha. Hello, I don't even know Cineleisure exists! Oh, note of reminder: If you ever watch movie at Cineleisure, don't buy the tachos (I think). That's what my brother told me. He said that it doesn't taste nice. Since he'd been there so many times already, I'll take his word for it! Maybe someday I'll drag my friends there. Anyway, back to lunch.... I had Zinger Daily Savers Meal while my brother had the Shrooms burger + chicken Star Meal and cheese fries. We were eating as if we were at home lol! My brother told me that if both of us ever wanna eat out with our partners, we'd go double-date to save our face. Haha, then I replied that both of us would then lose our partners 'cause they not only see how horrible we eat, but our family too! Uh oh! Both of us have terrible eating habits AND we are always the last to get up at family dinners. Well, I'm the last to be exact, but my point is that both of us take forever to finish eating haha! Anyway, my brother and I talked about the times we were at Sentosa with family and/or friends. I miss those times. I miss how carefree I was. I miss my kindergarten friends. I miss how close my cousins and I used to be. I miss Fantasy Island... Someday, I'll blog about my childhood times.... And someday when I'm all grown and I happen to stumble upon my blog, all those bittersweet memories will come back to me. No matter how bitter they are, I would most probably still smile as I read about MIGHTY MARLIYANA YOUNG haha.
Now, the best part of the day which got me really excited!!!! Ok, it started that my brother wanted to smoke and so he told me to explore the little bazaar we saw beside Cineleisure as he knows that I hate the cigarette smoke (well of course, as a passive smoker I would be more open to diseases/cancers than first-hand smokers!). Little did I know that it's LIME FLEA MARKET!!!! The same one that I'd been wanting to go and never did 'cause I had no idea where it is and also there wasn't anyone who knows where it is would/could accompany me. Well, the things that you want at times come when you least expect it. There's quite a range of things being sold, from earrings to belts to bags to shirts to shoes and I enjoyed looking at the things, though it did feel rather awkward walking there alone haha. Anyway anyway, I BOUGHT A REALLY NICE BROWN & WHITE BAG FOR $16!!! At first, being the fickle that I am, I was torn between that one and two others but since I was wearing brown shirt with white top, the one that I bought seems to fit me nicely then hehe. I love the bag sooo much! Hmm... I love everything that I buy with my own money. They just seem more precious.
Hmm... Here comes the part where I got really disappointed. I saw the youth park and... IT IS SOOOOO MUCH SMALLER THAN I IMAGINED! I thought of the functional writing essay to introduce the youth park to the school I wrote in school last year and well, I guess I wrote a load of crap haha. Anyway, we were going that way 'cause my brother thought I needed to see Centrepoint, which was okay-okay. There, we entered Times bookshop since I wanted to look for a letter set. Unfortunately, I found none. Quite expected lol. So far, the only bookshops that sell letter sets are the Big Bookshop and Kinokuniya (at the branch in Clarke Quay - can't remember the name of the building).
Then we had a crazy idea... What if we walk to Plaza Singapura? Hehe, quite far yeah but that's what we did! My feet hurt a lot after that hor but it really was worth it. It's quite a sight along the way from Centrepoint to Plaza Singapura, especially the Istana and the park. My brother and I talked about the guards at the gate of the Istana. The ones wearing white and standing so still. Actually... One of them was standing very still, I think if a mosquito bites he won't feel it at all lol! But the other one was fidgeting so many times! Anyway, I wished we were on the other side of the sidewalk, at the Istana Park. OoOo it looks lovely, though quite small and plain lar. I brought my camera, but didn't take any picture at all. Paiseh leh...
The moment we reached Plaza Singapura, we saw this Rock Climbing competition outside and we spent near half an hour ooohing and aaahing haha. The climb was looks really hard ok... The one at the utmost right looks quite manageable and many reached the top, but the one in the middle requires a strong grip and long arms. As for the one at the utmost right, it requires really strong arms as well as a good strategy. I can't really describe it. Wished I had a photo to show! Oh well...
Hmm... I think I'll stop here. The rest of the day aren't exactly spectacular. I was really sleepy by then haha. So yeah, FINALLY I've finished this post after nearly a week! So long then, till my next post!
Ok... So maybe not as many homeworks as the JC students have currently, but still... Let's see my to-do list:1) Apply for day camp student union orientation2) Take passport size photo (Must wait till my face is clean, I want my cleansesr!!!)3) Read the terms and conditions for the CPF loan, then need to print and fill in the form4) Wait for my medical report to be out, take it and send it to TP5) Accept the enrolment dunno-what6) Put all necessary documents into the envelopes provided and post them
7) Apply for ez-link card
8) Finish reading 2 more library books and return them
9) Type out English composition questions on the computer
10) Re-read/re-write my science notes
11) Finish the class website with whatever little I have (sobs, 4R is falling apart)
12) Finish the joint fanfic I write with Sylvia
13) Finish the cross-stitch I did for my mum and start on the other 2
14) Paste the photos I'd picked out into my new photo album
15) Wash my hairbands and buy a few new ones
16) And the list goes on...
Oh yar, I need to figure out how to put a to-do list and wishlist on my blog for my reference. I've got so many different notebooks I write them on that I don't bother looking at them lol. I'd better get myself a daily planner to get myself organised. Before that, I must teach myself to be DISCIPLINED. I had never been and am not but I plan to be. =) Help me...
Eww... I just received an e-mail from my cousin showing a woman stepping on a poor tabby kitten till its eyes pop out and the head crushed with blood and brain chunks! Like, so sadistic leh! No humanity left in her blood man... On judgement day, she'd be done the same way she did the kitten, God willing (or God forbid??) and she'll beg the kitten for forgiveness. Urgh, I have goosebumps seeing the state of the kitten. I wonder why the camera-person who took the photos of the woman stepping all over the kitten with her high heels didn't stop her. Another sadist lar...
I'd already been left behind while my friends go JC. And I don't want to be left behind in the Poly Student Union!!!! The problem is, I can't get in the website! I'd tried a couple of times and all I get is a page which says, "The page you are requesting does not exist anymore. Either it has been removed or you have entered an invalid URL." No, no, no, no, no!!!! Don't tell me they've closed application for the student union, please....
This was written last night, but I couldn't post it due to some connectivity problems or something... Anyway, it's a very loooooong post...
The medical check-up went well. It isn't as bad as I thought it'd be. Well... Maybe it's just that I was prepared for the worse haha.
So anyway, reached Raffles Medical Center at the OUB/UOB/DBS building (lol I always get them mixed up)and registered. The 'nurse' (I dunno what they're called) at the counter told me, "You should have made an appointment." HeLLo! I called the center on Saturday to make appointment, you say don't need, just walk-in then I walk-in, you say should have made appointment?!?! Whatever... Lucky they let me take a number.
*Random* Smoke smoke smoke. Smoke from my dad's cigarette, smoke from my mum's aromatic incense. Aiyoh, I'm choking...
Anyway, so they gave me a small container for urine collection. The ultimate challenge of the day lol. I spent so long in the toilet, doing what needs to be done as carefully as possible, making sure that I won't regret doing/not doing something haha. I was so paranoid lar.
After placing the urine sample in a small basket provided, I took a seat. I had no idea what I was waiting for. Lucky I sat inside the clinic, not wait outside, otherwise I wouldn't have heard the nurse call my name. My name by the way was pronounced wrongly as usual. She pronounced it as Maruyani or something like that. Ok, maybe the nurse have astigmatism so see 'li' as 'u'... But since when 'a' becomes 'i'?? Normally I would have ignored the mispronounciation, but today I corrected her. So yeah, took my height and weight. Good news: I'm 50kg!!! Had been my aim for the past few years. Psst, I think the weighing machine there spoilt though. My weighing machine at home says I'm 51.5-52kg. Oh well. =) Bad news: I grew shorter by 1cm. No!!!! I'm short enough already! (The worries of female teenagers :X) Then, did the colour defiency test, normal. There's one number I had to stare at for awhile, but got it right anyway. Did the myopia test, normal. I've still got my perfect eyesight! *grins widely* Haha...
That done, wait somemore... My mum returned from paying my brother's handphone bill at the post office, which isn't really far. We talked and joked until I told her that my appeal was unsuccessful. Like laugh laugh smile smile suddenly... TENSION. I was so pissed off at that. Is it really a big deal??!! Yes, to her it is. It concerns the family's good name. *rolls eyes* All of a sudden I felt so pressurized. My 2nd brother went to ITE, so it is like my DUTY to do very well so my relatives would overlook him and be proud of me. Like... hey... It's so what you know... I have this burden on my shoulders and I HATE IT.
Back to topic. Heard a beep from the counter. I didn't think it'd be my turn to see the doctor since the last time I saw the number call was like 14, mine is like, 22. Then I saw reflection on a glass frame, 55. My brain somehow flipped the number and registered 22. I was so gancheong haha. Got up like a glitz, went over to counter like an idiot, turned back around to enter room 2 like a moron lol.
The doctor was nice. Asked me if I was admitted to hospital or had an operation recently and I said no, but I mentioned having appointments with CGH about tendonitis. Then she told me that some protein is found in my urine. I was like stunned, then I racked my brains to try and recall about what protein found in urine might mean but my mind was blank, to be honest. Then the doctor asked about my family medical history on who were the ones having diabetes and high blood pressure, so I answered. She also asked if anyone has kidney failure and I said no. I can't remember what she added but I think it's something about kidney failure kidney failure.
Then she asked me about the slight tremors in my fingers/hand (I'd ticked yes on the medical paper thingy) and I told her. She asked me to extend my hands, palms down and I did. There was a slight tremor alright... She suggested I go for a blood test. I was like looking all over the room lar. Actually I don't mind having another 2-3 inches cube of blood drawn from me if that would help me stop worrying about the possibility of having parkinson's disease but I was worried that my father would have to pay for so many bills this month. I mean, I'd already gone to 3 appointments at CGH, one of which costs over $60. Sigh... So I told the doctor that it wouldn't be necessary as it might just be due to nervousness of O levels last year and that if the tremors worsen I'd visit the polyclinic. Well, and she said okay that would be strongly advised... Now I wish I'd just agreed to her suggestion. I'm still worried about the tremors. I mean it shook so badly during O level chemistry practical okay?! I'm sure the chemicals in my test tubes were very much evenly mixed. It is nervousnes PLUS whatever it is that causes the tremors.
*Random* I dunno why but I've just decided to call my cat Kinky instead of Malice and she answers me!!!
Went outside to wait again. Not long after, which I'm glad of, the 'nurse' at the counter called my name to give me a letter to bring to the other Raffles Medical Center at Tampines Junction for xray. Then there was a conversation going on between us that really set my blood to boil.
Me: Pay now?
Nurse: Ya lar then when?
Me: Where here?
Nurse: Hmm (with a look of sheer sarcasm)
I felt like smacking her you know. I was just making sure right! I was about to tell her that and "Who knows? Pay at Tampines Junction or what. There's a possibility", but the phone rang. Looks like God didn't want me to shoot my mouth off and invite trouble. Oh wellz... I'm sure this is the same nurse who picked up the phone when I wanted to make an appointment on Saturday. This was the conversation, to the best of my memory, which has not been so good lately.
Nurse: Good morning, this is (I can't hear what she said). How may I help you?
Me: Erm... Can I... (was interupted)
Nurse: Want to see doctor for pre-enrolment medical check-up?
Me: Ya, I want to make appointment for this... (interupted again)
Nurse: No need appointment, just walk-in.
Me: Ok. Can use CSC to pay?
Nurse: No, of course you must pay with cash (I don't think she said exactly that but the tone was mocking like that, as if to say I'm a silly 17 year old girl. My dad asked me to ask right?! I didn't want to. It's just $21 anyway, I'm sure he can spare that).
The most irritating thing is that her voice is like those fake sweet kinda voice...
Then whatever whatever, my mum and I left the uilding for Tampines Junction. I was going on about how mocking the nurse sound. Guess what my mum said? "Yang kau beleter ni apasal?" (meaning: You nag so much for what?) It is unacceptable that's why!! That coming from my mum, ouch.
At Tampines Junction's Raffles Medical Center, I had a long wait. A few other people were waiting with their friends or mum or husband. For me, I was standing alone beside the radiology room while my mum sat about 5-10m away from me. I was hoping we could chat and joke somemore, but well... Of course there were people waiting alone too, but that's because they didn't even bring anyone to accompany them in the first place. At some point, my mum said, "Just now I saw nobody with their parents, I thought of leaving you here. There's so many things I could do with the time at home." I replied, "Yeah, I can manage alone." That was just plain words. In actual fact, I was initially proud that my mum had put aside some time to accompany me for the check-up, that she's always there for me. When she said about having better things to do at home, my heart just crashed. She actually said that!! I think she didn't realise how bad she'd put it and I understand that it might be just a slip of the tongue, but then...
It was quite a long wait before the nurse asked me to change into a sorta robe which was made of a rather thin material making me feel quite insecure and exposed. I mean you're bra-less under the robe you know! Anyway, even after changing, I had to wait and wait somemore. There were three more girls who changed AFTER me, but somejow the radiology technologist called the names backward so the last of the four of us went first and me being the first was last. It so happened that there were only 3 of the black board thingy and so, I had to wait somemore. Then, my mum told me she's going. She had an appointment in 30 minutes time, but even if she still had an hour I would have allowed her to go anyway. Her sitting there waiting for me made me keep asking myself, "When will it be my turn, when will it be my turn...?"
When it was finally my turn, the technologist gave me some instructions and apologised for making me wait, explaining the wait at the same time. I smiled, but I so much wanted to tell him what he could have read the names in the right order! Nevermind... The process was quick, but after that I had to wait somemore 'cause there were a few girls who just arrived wanting to change into the robe. After changing, had to wait somemore. I hate waiting! The nurse saw how frustrated I was and asked me to get a seat (That was the second time, the first time she said that, I went to an empty seat to have a guy cut infront of me and sit down. The cheek of him! So ungentlemanly okay!)and I quickly grabbed an empty seat, not caring that a guy in civil defense uniform beside the seat look at me like what. Who cares, I was tired of standing the whole time lar! I could have sat on the ground but it's so unladylike...
Oh yah, I forgot to mention, in the room, there's a card which writes: Please... No laughing, or smiling during working hours. Woah... And here I am thinking about the GEMs thingy which was introduced lately. Isn't smiling a polite gesture?? By the way, in case you're wondering, the nurse who asked me to take a seat twice didn't break a smile except once I think whereas the technologist was all smiles when I entered. Lol?
When the nurse called me and said that I can go, I didn't say anything and went straight out the door. I was thinking of what food to buy with the $10 my mum gave me for breakfast, of which of course the balance I must return. I am currenty quite broke. I have money, but they're either new/old crisp notes that I don't wish to use or they're in the form of unpaid loan so with the $10 I have, I thought of all kinds of food I can buy with it. But since I was starving, I settled for a packet of rice with veggies (for my mum) and sambal chicken (for me of course, but I couldn't finish it so there's some for my mum). I left some of the rice for my mum, as usual.
All in all, today is such a whatever day. I got pissed off so many times. At least I got myself two flower brooch-pin for $2. The $2 which is the remainder of the $10 my mum 'paid' me for ironing my clothes ('cause when I go out she doesn't give me money except for $2 sometimes or unless I go out with her then she pay for the necessities I buy (read one of my old posts regarding what is necessity and what is want in my dictionary)) since $8 is my share in buying the printer ink. Haiz...
Anyway, my wishlist right now:
1) My parents to UNDERSTAND me and how I feel
2) 4R to have a gathering sometime
3) My friends who're in JC to remember me even if they have new and better friends now
4) To have new friends who'd go through thick and thin with me and accept me for who I am
5) To do well in Poly so I can get scholarship for my 2nd year and so I won't have to borrow some of my dad's CPF
6) Get rid of all the acne/whiteheads/blackheads/pores on my face
7) Have whiter teeth
8) Erm... I'll stop here. I have so many things I want, but since I won't get them, forget it.
Anyway, Marcus tagged me on his blog to do a quiz about 8 points my life partner should have. Well, why not?
1) Performs religious obligations diligently
2) Respect their parents (and my parents)
3) Accept me for who I am (and don't ever try to change me, unless it's for the goodness of myself)
4) Understand me and knows how to win my heart (I've weird taste sometimes haha)
5) Respect my decision (when I have one and when I don't, make the decision for me)
6) Has a stable job so can support me (if I may decide not to work)
7) Is cute, in my definition (which is always different from others)
8) Oh yah, and can actually make me comfortable being around him (I always feel uncomfortable with guys unless I'd known them for quite some time)
Lucky it's only 8. If more, I wouldn't have known how to answer lol. I'm only 17 and not really looking ok. I'd get married at least after 24, that's my plan. Younger than 24 is like... young and I may make wrong decisions. =
Now it's my turn to tag 8 people to do this. But I only have one name: YOU! Lol, I doubt if I write 8 people here they would even come across it lar...
Wah, I type for like what, 2 hours? 3 hours? And guess what? " Could not connect to Blogger.com. Saving and publishing may fail." is written above the 'publish post' button..... Tsk...
I'm so worried!!! Not 'cause the doctor might find something wrong with me. Not 'cause I might still be overweight. Not 'cause my eyesight might have deteriorated slightly. BUT 'cause I'm supposed to collect my pee in a small bottle?!! *cries*
Too many horror stories you know lol. Read a number of friends' blogs about it, but the worse is Karen's... Really man, I don't wanna go for the medical check-up tomorrow!!!!!! I really feel like cursing, it's so... I dunno!!!! Must aim properly... WHAT THE??!!
Help me somebody.... Wake me up from this nightmare!
Phew! Syukur alhamdulillah there was nothing wrong with the blood. I was so relieved to hear the news from the doctor! The doctor explained that the pain I feel at my tendon area is just a normal inflammation, due to friction between the muscles I suppose. Nothing serious!
Feeling stressed? Or just feel like you need something to humour yourself? Read this funny article about the American Idol contestants! Warning: Do not believe what you read!
Val sent me another inspirational e-mail and I thought I'd like to share it with my readers. Some of you may have read it before like me, but who knows what this e-mail can give you NOW? So go on and read it, it's worth your while.
A great note for all to read it will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking....
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.
Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.
The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.
As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.
One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Days and weeks passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.
As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.
Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.
It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.
She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."
Epilogue:
There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.
"Today is a gift, that's why it is called the present."
That is what my Ustaz said. Well, not exactly. He was telling us a story when Nabi Isa A.S. saw a skeleton (or skull) and doa to Allah S.W.T. to resurrect the person. When the person was resurrected, Nabi Isa asked him about death and he told him that he was a king for 1000 years (or something like that) but when he died, everything that happened in his life felt like a mere dream. Now imagine, imagine that you're dead and going through what you'd done in your life. Then ask yourself questions eg. What have you done with your life? Have you always done the right things?
Hungry, hungry, I am hungry
Table, table, here I come
Wah!! I'm so hungry... The whole day I only ate nasi lemak, a cookie and a cream cracker. I wanna eat but it's like 1 a.m. now!!! Besides, my weight is 53-54 now and I want it to get to 53 (52 preferably) by tomorrow. My observation is that when I wake up in the morning (before eating), my weight is around 51-53 and at night (after dinner), it is around 53-55. I might be going for my poly medical check-up tomorrow and I don't want to be found overweight. I dunno if poly has TAF program, but in case they have... It's better safe than sorry. *stomach growls* Opps! =X
My appeal application was unsuccessful... I'm fine. I've asked the Almighty to give me strength and let me understand how not being successful might be a good think afterall. He's helped me. It's part positive thinking too but without His help, I could have cried and be depressed again. I think He destined me to glimpse the e-mail so I could be prepared for it. I'm glad He did that. He still loves me, syukur alhamdulillah...
I was reading my e-mails when I came upon IT. What is IT? Results for my appeal application! I only saw the top part. I don't know of its contents, but I know I didn't see any 'Congratulations' which they would firstly say if you were successful right?! Besides, they did mention that those who are successful will receive an enrolment package while the others/rest (can't remember and I dunno why it matters anyway) will receive an e-mail.
I don't dare read the contents! I know my chance is very low, after all this and my hope has pretty much dropped 1001 feet too, but at least I can still hope! I think I shall open it after Subuh tomorrow. I will need Allah to give me strength, lots in case I'm unsuccessful. Gulps! CHOKE!!!
P.S. If you're wondering, yes I received my enrolment package last night. I'm still wondering why I need to go for a medical check-up...
Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs who arranged a running competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower. A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants.
The race began....
Honestly: No one in crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower. You heard statements such as, "Oh, WAY too difficult!!", "They will NEVER make it to the top." or "Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!"
The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one. Except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher....
The crowd continued to yell, "It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!" More tiny frogs got tired and gave up. But ONE continued higher and higher and higher.... This one wouldn't give up!
At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except... for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top!
THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?
A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal? It turned out....
That the winner was DEAF!!!!
The wisdom of this story is: Never listen to other people's tendencies to be
negative or pessimistic.... because they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you -- the ones you have in your heart!
Always think of the power words have. Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions! Therefore...
ALWAYS be POSITIVE!
And above all: Be DEAF when people tell YOU that you cannot fulfill your dreams!Always think: With God's help, I can do this!
I got the above from an e-mail Val sent me. Thanks for the motivation Val! It makes me feel relieved and forget my worries (read the previous post). Just this morning I said, "I can't do it. I won't be able to make it" and now I'm saying, "Of course I'd make it! No doubt about it!" All I have to do is to persevere and never give up. Oh, I need to turn a deaf ear to myself too lol, since the negative thoughts come from myself actually.
Sometimes I feel that life is full of meaning. At other times I wonder too, am I not living my life for one sole reason only and that is to be a humble servant of the Almighty?
My goal right now is to get a diploma in Biomedical Science (Biotechnology if my appeal application is unsuccessful...), go on to Biomedical Science of Biological Science at a local university (NTU I suppose) and be a doctor (still thinking whether I want to specialise or not). Sounds like a rather good plan right? But then, I'm not confident I can achieve it! I know I haven't even started poly and here I am 'giving up' but I'm not exactly 'giving up', I'm just wondering if I would be able to overcome every setback (I'm sure there's gonna be many) I'd meet along the way. I'm known for not finishing things I start. I'm afraid I might lose my drive to achieve my goal before I reach it. It's just that I think my goal is not strong enough to motivate me to not give up along the way. Ok, even if I do become a doctor at the end of the day, I would still face some problems as one. I mean I can't reach my goal and say hurrah and stop there right??
So why exactly do I want to be a doctor if getting there and being there would take so much on my part you ask? Why don't I take on something I like, something I'm good at? Well, there's a couple of reasons to this. Firstly, because I think being a doctor is a meaningful and honourable occupation. You help people, you save people, you do good to mankind and you feel good about doing so. Secondly, I don't really know what I like or what I'm good at honestly... Thirdly, most of my cousins are teachers and I wish to be different, unique. Besides, it'd bring up my family's name on my father's side and that would make my mum really happy and proud. My family is rather average. I don't mind that. I feel luckier than many people most of the time and so it doesn't matter to me. But somehow my mum feels inferior and I hate to see her that way, so now I want to change the course of things. (It sounds so profound. One of the reasons I don't think I might make it.)
I've always had 'Plan B's as I call them in my life. If Plan A doesn't work out, use Plan B. Take my O levels for example. I couldn't make it into JC and eventhough I was devastated and cried over it, I already had Plan B at hand. Ask Marcus. Even before the O levels results were out (and I was pretty confident I could go JC even if it is TPJC), I'd already thought of some of the courses I could take in poly. I went to SP career talk and TP open house. Ok, I admit I took it lightly, but at least I got an idea or two about what poly is like and what some of the courses that appeal to me are about.
So, what's my 'Plan B' if I don't get into Biomedical Science or Biological Science at university? I'll try out for Psychology. What if I don't get into university at all? I'll find a job with my diploma as a lab researcher. What if I don't get to be a lab researcher? I'd apply for NIE to become a Science or Malay teacher. What if NIE don't accept my application? Take SATs exam, borrow money from relatives and study overseas. If that doesn't work out too, I'd cry first then get a good husband and become a wonderful housewife to him and the best mother for my children. I can go on, but that is rather depressing....
I'm rotting at home now. Going online, watching tv, reading novels, reading some of my Sec 3 and 4 notes, preparing myself for poly, sleeping, shopping and that's about it. Oh well. I can't wait for poly orientation. I can't wait for school to start! Yes, I'd become stressed again and because of that I'd lose my temper easily again, my face would have big nasty pimples again but I'd have new friends, I'd have something to occupy my time and mind with, I'd... Oh, I just can't wait!!
Once again, I want to change my blogskin, but I can't find any I like or that fits me....
This is the third day in a row I'm a nocturnal. Well, I can't keep off The Ashes! Role Playing is like crapping in a sensible way lol and I enjoy it a lot! With wonderful RPers like Illu (Amy) and Heath (Jamie), it's all fun fun fun!
Anyway, went to Angsana in Johor, Malaysia two days ago with my parents and eventhough I was really reluctant, I enjoyed myself 'cause we shopped for MY things hehe. My mum bought me a pink top for RM14.90, a pair of pink pants for RM29.90, a scarf for RM15 (the colour is really sweet but I decided that my mum should have it since she didn't get herself anything!), a pair of pink socks for RM5 and a pair of thin socks for RM2.20. I love shopping! When I don't have to pay for the things lol... Sometimes I feel guilty about my parents buying me stuff that when they ask, "You like it? Want it?", I'd pretend I don't like it and say so. I'm not the kind to ASK my parents to buy me things that I WANT eg. CDs, novels etc though I EXPECT them to buy me things I NEED eg. food, clothes, assessment books etc.
That's about it for Tuesday... On Monday I had rehab service at CGH. I was out of there in a jiffy, good! Well, I was there about 15 minutes earlier than the designated time and I was the 3rd or 4th patient to arrive since the centre opened that morning. Besides, I wasn't feeling any inflammation on my leg that day. The therapist just asked me some questions, showed me 2 stretches to lengthened the tendon muscle and sent me to have ultrasound to reduce any inflammation on my leg if there's any. The ultrasound was warm and comforting, though I started to feel a slight pain on my leg at the end of the process. I'm glad I have CSC. Not only do I not have to pay cash, I also get a 60% discount! From $34 or $36 to $12 only! Too bad I won't be able to use it next year when I turn 18...
Let's see... On Sunday, I had religious class in the morning. Ust Hatta is back!!! He told us about his days in Madinah and it sounds cool! Ust Hasman is still the same him with his 1001 (exaggerated obviously) of "Ye?". He made us introduce our friends who represents our parents in Arab. I love Arab, but... nevermind.... Ust Azman is funny, as usual. He was telling us the history of Nabi Musa in a mixture of Malay, Arab and broken English (and some made-up Hindustani too aiyoh!) making my friends and I laugh like what till I cry. Somewhere in the middle, we jumped from Nabi Musa to sheep and then to cockroach! Lol! Well, there was a cockroach in the class and Astuty went hysterical! Ust Azman was pretty mean tormenting her about it every few minutes after that but it's so funny!!! Last period, Ust Saifuddin... I don't enjoy his lesson at all. I mean why do we need to learn about marriages and divorces now?! I spent the whole lesson chatting with Hidayah, naughty me. In case you're wondering, no I don't not pay attention in class often.
Ok, this post is getting really long. Allow me to talk about Saturday and I'll be done. In the afternoon, met up with Marcus, Chuan Li and Val to go ECP. I was late, but Val was later hehe. We were pretty bored there. The weather was really hot and we weren't really at the best of our moods then. We played Pictionary cum Hangman lol and ate some chocolates at one of the unoccupied bbq pits before going to Mac for lunch. That's basically all. Was hoping the day would be fun but oh well... Then at night I have KPR (Kelas Peningkatan Remaja - Youth Improvement Program) at Ghufran. Didn't enjoy it much either. I chatted with Hanis who sat beside me once in awhile to comment on what Ust Jamaluddin said and that's about it. I went home alone, normal...
Phew, that's all for updates now. Still waiting for my enrolment package from TP which I should have received already as well as my appeal application which would be out on the 27th. I can't wait!!!
I'm really really sleepy now, so tataz I'm off to bed!!! Cyaz... And thanks for reading my blog, I realise no one ever reads it anymore, who cares... I blog so that someday I can log on the internet and read back the bittersweet memories.
The wonderful RP site is up again! Missed it so much... Wish Aura and Ki are around to join in the fun but I suppose they're busy with things. Those readers, check out The Ashes and I hope you'd join in the fun! So yeah, I'm still Lady Gallica, Lady of the Land and loving it! Though my personality fits that of water more:
| Your Element is Water |
 Your power colors: blue and aqua Your energy: deep Your season: winter Like the ocean, you evoke deep feelings and passion. You have an emotional, sensitive, and spiritual soul. A bit mysterious, you tend to be quiet when you are working out a problem. You need your alone time, so that you can think and dream. |
| Your Birthdate: February 24 |
 You understand people well and are a natural born therapist. A peacemaker, people always seem to get along when you are around. You tend to be a father or mother figure to friends, even to those older than you. You enjoy your role, and you find that you are close to many people. Your strength: Your devotion Your weakness: Reliance on others for happiness Your power color: Lilac Your power symbol: Heart Your power month: June |
I went to appeal at Temasek Poly this morning for Biomedical Sciences. I badly want it! Biotech is similar, but it's not the same... Biomed has a few more modules that sounds interesting compared to Biotech, such as Haematology and Blood Banking. Besides, I feel that Biomed suits me more. It's hard to describe...
So anyway, after the appeal, I went to CGH for my appointment. Some of you may have noticed that about twice a year, I won't be in school one day and the next I'd be sorta limping through the corridors. I always explain it as sprain, but that's not quite it. I still have no idea what is it, but I suppose I'll find out in two weeks, when the result of my blood test will be out. If you're wondering, yeah I had a blood test just now. They did an x-ray and found nothing wrong with the bone structure on my leg so they took my blood for testing. I think it was about 3-4 cubic cm of blood from the inside of my arm. The nurse poked me twice. The first time she couldn't find the blood vessel. She told me to tell her it's painful if I feel any pain. Honestly, I was thinking, "It's so cold in here and I'm so numb! How am I supposed to feel the pain." Well, I was wrong... When she poked me again, I felt it. Ouch!! As numb as I was, I could still feel that needle poke through my blood vessel. I saw the paper the doctor wrote to the nurse and recorded down what I'm supposed to be tested for - full blood count, rheumatoid arthritis, Erythrocyte sedimentation rate (ESR), C-reactive protein (CRP) and uric acid. I did some research on the net and found that the doctor is trying to test me for JRA which may be the cause for the pain I feel on and off about twice to thrice a year: joint inflammation. Hmm... Interesting...
So yeah, now my left hand is supporting my right hand while I type. Can still feel a strain where the needle went through just now. Anyway, I found something odd. Before the blood test, I was so hyper, talking non-stop, joking and laughing that my mum said, "Oi! You know you sound like a chicken getting its feathers plucked out??" Haha, really I was that noisy. But then, after the blood test, I just turned totally silent. I felt so moody, like everything is wrong. I felt really sleepy too. I was taking a nap on the ride home and when I reached home, I just slept after having a quick lunch. I dunno what changed my mood. Was it my dad complaining non-stop about how the hospital is inefficient (that should have been me, but no...) or was it that I suddenly realised I've got such a thick layer of fats that the nurse can't find my blood vessel? I dunno...
Anyway, my mum was looking out the window behind me a while back and scolding me for sleeping late at night and then sleeping in the day. Obviously she's worried about and angry at my brother who was still not home just now, but she didn't have to vent her frustration on me right?? Wrong... Well, children are always wrong, whatever... My hand is really tired now and so are my eyes. Shall talk about my birthday in my next post most probably, cya then! Nite nite! And dream...
There's plenty to say. But sometimes words can't tell them all. Well, for me at least. To prove that, well... I got C6 for my combined humanities. I'm glad I'd be rid of them once and for all. Hmm... I hope!
Since my last post, many things had taken place. Many things that well... may or may not have too much effect on me. Of course, some things remain. My dad is still smoking as hard as ever, my computer speaker is still spoilt, my MSN is still down and I'm still the same old me. To me, I've changed in so many ways. But to people, I'll always be me! Even my kindergarten friend can recognise me! Still chubby. Still short. Still simple. Still breathing...
But then, I am not that old me anymore!!! :'( I just know it! Life has taught me that changes are hard but necessary. I can't stay the same all the time if I want to survive in this jungle humans call earth.
Uh oh! I planned to update my blog on what's been happening. Oh wellz... Talked to Siti and a few others on my stinky webmessenger and forgot about filling my blog lol. Well, another time then. I have to go to TP for appeal to Biomed tomorrow morning before going to CGH for an appointment with an orthopaedic, err... I think. So yeah, good night then!
