I'd been wanting to blog away about my first week of Yr 2 Sem 2 in NIE as well as the first few days of Eid, bu unfortunately, I really have alot of things on my hands right now, and I have yet to revise my 1st week's notes!!!

Anyway, as I was cleaning my room, I came across a reflective essay that I did for APEL and so i'm gonna document it here. Maybe I'd documented it before, but aiyar too lazy to check lar :P

I believed I entered Temasek Polytechnic in 2006 as a failure. I did not do well for my GCE 'O' levels and cried for days upon receiving my results in February that year. Even after I'd entered TP as a freshman, I still cried in my heart. All my friends were in JC, except those who CHOSE to be in poly. Me? I had no choice but to go poly. My whole life before that was tuned to sitting for O levels, then going to JC, then going to uni and so on and so forth. Even when I did not get to go to JC for three-months course before 'O' level results were out, I asked my friends for their JC notes and studied to 'prepare' myself for when I would enter JC after results are out.

So when my results did not allow me to go to JC, I had to change my life plans drastically. All the effort I had put in to go to JC seemed pointless as my dreams were shattered. It was hard to get back on my feet, especially when my parents looked so disappointed in my failure to go JC. The first thing I had to do after receiving my results was to choose a course in a poly, which back then I find challenging as I hardly have any idea about the courses the different poly have to offer. When I look back at it now though, I can confidently say, 'I have no regrets in my choice.' Temasek Poly is the best poly for me and Applied Science - Biotechnology is just perfect for me. And it's not that I didn't have a choice. I could have chosen to go astray but I chose to go poly and give my best anyway.

Since April 2006, things started to look a little brighter. At the very least, I managed my studies pretty well alongside other activities I am involved in. When I received my first semester's results with a GPA of 3.86, I was reminded of what a friend told me when she comforted me for not being able to go JC. She said, 'Perhaps, poly is where you can shine.'

After all these while, I do feel that I did shine in my poly years. Maybe not so much of a 'wow', but at least I am proud of where I am and what I had done. It's true that everything happens for a reason. My being in poly too has its own reasons, which I slowly uncover month after month.

Being in poly, I am able to focus solely on Science, a subject I was truly fascinated with since primary school. I did not have to divide my attention to 'unnecessary' compulsory subjects like English, Malay, Social Studies and Literature, which I neither had interest nor do well in. I am really happy to be in Biotechnology where my hunger for the knowledge in the Sciences is slowly satisfied. Though, as a saying goes, “The more you learn, the less you know”, there is really so much more about Science!

Being in poly too allowed me more freedom in managing my time. Unlike secondary school where there would definitely be homework every single day, poly provided me with more free time, which I put to good use. Apart from participating in the malay drama club in TP (Malay Arts Group - Titisan Temasek), I also helped out at a nearby mosque and once in a while I got together with friends in TP to organise events for ourselves and people who know us. I was satisfied with how I managed my time, being able to do well in my studies while contributing to the school as well as the community. At the same time, I was able to develop values like compassion, cooperation, perseverance, initiative and more.

Problems arised when on top of all that I had, I decided to work. My parents were strongly against the idea, fearing for my well-being and my performance in my studies, but I went against them anyway with the reason that I would like to experience the working world early so I would not get a shock when I enter the working world.

That was a decision I regret till now. A mistake I did that I could not forgive myself. I wasted my time, money and effort in something with so little returns. I felt really selfish and was really uncomfortable with the job. Besides, my studies were also affected. When I realized what I had done, I could not quit. Due to peer pressure, I was afraid to quit. Idid not want to be labeled as someone who easily gives up. I felt trapped with no choice. When I saw how I did for my term tests though, I know I had to do something. I had to quit no matter what happens. I know my priority is my studies and it is time I prove it.

I did not rely on my family or friends for support for fear they would tell me, “I told you so” and so I had to muster the courage on my own. I finally quitted in July 2007, four months after I joined the company, and focused on my studies again. I am glad I made that decision to stand for what I believe is right, just in time to be able to pull my grades up a little. I received the worst results that semester, but at least I passed all my subjects.

Since then on, even though I still contribute to my CCA and at the mosque, I had learnt that no matter what, my schoolwork deserves my topmost priority. There were times when it gets pretty challenging juggling three things at once, but with proper time management and a persevering and resilient spirit, I believe anything is possible!

All in all, I know I have not wasted my youth away.