It's one thing to be asked to do this and that as if you're the free-est person on earth. But to be asked to do this and that and not getting a word or at least a gesture of appreciation or worse, getting scolded along the way is really quite another matter...


I HATE PENTAS Sorry to all who've enjoyed yourselves and are missing Pentas and can't wait for the next one and all. BUT, well, do understand me. Your job is done while MINE, AMA'S AND IJAN'S HAVE NOT. While you guys are having hangovers over Pentas and dreaming of the fun times shared or at worse the worst rehearsal you had to go to, the three of us are getting 'live' nightmares over the props. And the worst thing is we're getting scolded for it because we have a 'responsibility' to carry out. Spiderman (or whatever Uncle in the movie) said, "With great power comes great responsibility"... But in our case, there is NO POWER which brings about the RESPONSIBILITY. We're volunteering our time and effort here and not a word of thanks instead lotsa lotsa scolding. AND NO ONE TO HELP US. It sucks alright.. Don't believe me, try it next Pentas. I'd be more than glad to let you have the job. Right Ama? Right Ijan?

Today marks the third time I cried because of the props. Ama and I had to carry boxes and boxes AND MORE BOXES of costume, make-up, radio, other left behind props and I don't know what else. We had one big rectangular box filled to the brim and begging to spill over, two ezprint boxes one on top of the other with cloth and 4 boxes of make-up and Naza's square box with some stuff and at least 5-6 poles, 2 of which threatens to scratch whatever surfaces we walk along or poke someone super unlucky to be walking towards us in the eye while pointing directions. Ikut hati, aku nak buang je sume. But to think of it, nak buang pon nak kena travel so might as well travel to SAA. Haiz, bila agaknya kitorang bertiga nak gi clean up bilik SAR tu ye. Sry quartermistress bilik tu berselerak balik but do understand our plight. Not many do right now...

People called us. People smsed us. People scolded us. People saw us. And all they could do is tell us, "The audi must be cleared by 5pm" You know who helped us? There was this couple we met along the alley to SAA who were going somewhere with a trolley. They looked like they needed it rather urgently too, but after we asked and explained our situation they lent us the troley for awhile. But they left us at that, just with the trolley. Cukup alhamdulillah la tu kan. Then we got stuck between the lift doors and there was this guy who kindly gave a helping hand, pushing the trolley from lift door all the way inside the SAR place. Alhamdulillah. We dunno who they are and they most probably don't believe in Allah, but they were there and we thank Allah for that.

It was just so hard. Tried to be strong while I was with Ama, but when she left, I had my mum's mats plus my box of telekong and kain2 alas I needed to bring home. It was hard to handle and I had no idea how to transport them by myself all the way from audi to lt 21 in biz school. It was humiliating enough to be seen with that many things, but I was just upset and angry that hot tears start to well. I dropped everything, squated down and ended up sitting on the ground somewhere along the alley between the audi and the staircase leading to the library. There were a few people there but who cares. Whether I stand or I sit with those stuff it'd be just as humiliating anyway kan...

Lela, I appreciate those words of appreciation. They make doing those heavy things lighter. Ama agrees with me. Eventhough you requested for some props/deco late, we (padahal Ijan ngan Nadiah yang buat eh) didn't feel forced to do them. We were obligated since it's our job but you made it sound as if we have a choice. IF we're not too busy. IF we can handle them. We find it easier to follow what you want cos you had pictures and directions so we could produce something as similar as what you asked for. I mean memang our job scope is to find things or make them for the show. You made our job easier and at the end of the day pon you get what you want and not something so different than what you visualized. Thanks for your understanding. Too bad this is your last Pentas. It was nice working with you dear.

Hai... Sesungguhnya kesabaran itu separuh daripada iman. Dan iman aku nampaknya dalam fasa menurun. Ya Allah, berilah aku hidayah...