There's soooo much to blog, yet at the same time I dunno what to blog about. Hai... Let me just write what comes straight into my mind aite.

Just applied for DPIA this afternoon and they told me I might not get in this semester as the DPIA class for this sem is already full. There's a possibility I have to join in July sem. Boo hoo... My fault larh register so late, but what can I do, firstly, I couldn't decide which madrasah to continue my post-menengah and secondly, I was v. busy to go there to register. The only time I'm free is during public holiday, which the office is closed. Then there is no online registration available for DPIA. On Thurs I finished late and office is closed at 5pm. Friday I went only to find out that the office is closed on Fridays. And so, I dropped by today, which is one day before the semester starts... She asked me to just attend tomorrow's class. Over the weekend I might have to go for an interview. Interview seh! Then I'll have to see whether the director wants me at Andalus. Ewah ewah...

Been feeling lonely and gloomy these few days. Actually, come to think of it, I'd been this way the whole of 2007! Since February at least. Just that there were times when the loneliness is more... erm, noticeable? I'm sorry to be posting a depressed post. I wish I had better news. Depressed posts are boring...

Been feeling easily irritable and rebellious. So much so that I get irritated at myself lol.

If I have to sum up 2007 in one word, it would be 'lonely'. I ever expressed this loneliness to a few people, in my effort to find some comfort. Some just shrugged it off. There were some who blamed me back for not taking the initiative to keep in constant contact with friends. I don't deny that...

2007 had also been a turning point in my life, so far... I tried the working world, yes while schooling. And it wasn't just any job you'd say typical of schooling poly students. It was different. Even from the start I was uncomfortable. For 3-4 months I did things against my will, sacrificed my sleep and fill every single second with something to do. I tried my best to fit in. Yet... 5 times I broke down. Yes, I counted. And the only thing I felt when I decided to quit was relief. Yet, till now I haven't officially announced my quit. When I said I have unfinished business from 2007, this is one of them. Somehow, I feel like a failure... Those who know what I was doing, don't talk about it. And those who don't, don't ask.

Apart from that, I got involved in Muslim organisations. As in, really involved by helping out with events. Bunayya Camp was my first project. I hardly knew what I was doing, and basically, I didn't do much. Until the camp itself then I started to work haha. Somehow Bunayya kickstarted a whole series of events in which I'm not a participant, but part of the organising comm. Let's see... After Bunayya (madrasah with Saff-program) was Camp Xplore (Fityan-program), Harmony Race (Fityan-program & minutes), Musollah Clean-up (NI-program), Ramadhan Rocks (Saff-program), BTF Iftar (NI-program) amd finally Gema Ghufran (Fityan-admin). These I enjoyed. Let's talk about each shall we?

Bunayya was a camp for kids held at Pasir Ris Park. Basically as a program member, I did my job as station-ICs and scorekeeper. At that time, I was still clueless about this whole organising stuff and so I just did as I was told.

Camp Xplore was a camp for teens held at MDG. I was dragged to be a programmer because Jun said they needed one. Kesiankan kawan aku ni, aku pon tolong lah.. But then, I was in the comm like what, if I'm not mistaken, 2 weeks before the event? They already had the list of programs lined up. My job was to set up the detailed prog sheet for all comm members and prepare log list. Faizal guided me. The now Recruit Faizal hehe. I still remember at nearly midnight one fine night after meeting, he asked me to visualize: at this time this time where would everyone be, what should they be doing and what things should already be there? Oh my, first time buat lah kan... I spent a few nights doing it. And even one night before the event I was still editing it at MDG office. Wow. Macam ape seh... During the camp was... challenging. Program was horrible! Everything ended later than scheduled. This was one of the most memorable and challenging event of 2007 I tell you. During a short post-mortem after the camp, I cried and cried and couldn't stop. Sheesh! Nevertheless, it was the most enjoyable camp I'd organised. And through this camp also, I became close to Jun and Fathi. To put it simply, we were there for each other through thick and thin throughout the camp.

Harmony Race was part of an event conducted by 7 mosques supported by NorthEast CDC. I think I was more of a minutes recorder than a programmer. All the program things weren't done by me. Instead I was doing admin work with Jun and Fathi lol. Even on the day itself! Tak layak ku dipanggil programmer. Macam lembu punya susu sapi dapat nama pulak. Ewah, dah lama tak pakai peribahasa lol. But seriously, guilty seh...

Musollah Clean-Up was a small-scale event by NI to 'try-out' the new comm members at organising and at the same time to bond existing members with newly recruited ones. It's like a bigger form of ta'aruf session lol. At the same time, we cleaned up the TP musollahs. This event, I was pretty slack. I didn't know what to do and Kak Mayam did most of the work for me in the end. Guilty lagi ni...

Ramadhan Rocks is, as many Muslim youths know, an annual Ramadhan event conducted by Saff Perdaus and the highlight is supposed to be rockclimbing lah. Because Saff Centre is all the way at Bukit Gombak/Batok, I only presented myself at one of the earlier meetings before going MIA for quite some time till the date nears the event. Most of the job done was a day before the event and during the event itself. Like Bunayya, my job is more towards the day itself. Basically I was one of the Station ICs lah. FYI, Ramadhan Rocks 1428H was a race... I helped out a bit at Delbargia Green before heading to my main station: archery! Made many new friends through Ramadhan Rocks and I really enjoyed archery. Kluar tv lagi hehe. Alar sikit je, belakang Huda while she archered during one of Warna Ramadhan's segments. Missing the friends I made during the event: Fadhilah and Kak Fida especially. Was looking forward to meeting them during Stong expedition...

BTF Iftar is NI's annual iftar event held at Chai Chee with the old folks. Through this event, I bonded with some of the comm members pretty well especially the year 1s Mus and Dian, who became the wonderful hosts for the event! And at the same time, leaving me to handle the program on my own. Susah tu, but I think I scrapped through with just a few scars lol. Seram sejuk k berbual depan people from NI, NYPMSN, SP, RP and NP, including my ustaz from Perdaus (masih ingat lagi, the one who found a Maple Story cd in a goodie bag from RP and I asked if I could have it, tak tau malu eh)! Oh my, initially I couldn't remember where I got to know this one brother from NP (ke NYP) and when I realised who he was, I wqas like, "Kau... Maluuuuu nyerrrrrr! Camne ni!!" This event is the other most memorable event of 2007. Again, during a short post-mortem after the event I cried and cried and couldn't stop haha. Sungguh the buat malu k. Dr Faishal was there larh... I'd say this iftar was the least disappointing event I organised. Boleh tahan arh, menjadi jugak. And most importantly, I did my job. Before AND during the event. Of course ade mistakes jugak, but I shall make them lessons to be learnt. =)

Gema Ghufran was a perjumpaan hari raya held at MDG MPH. The only 2007 event that I was in the admin team. And the last event for me to organise in 2007... I quite did my job... I was the minutes recorder, erm... And till now I owe Fityan the last minutes for this event. Opps. >_< As for the calling calling part, first time seh kena buat (ok, second.. but the first time I only had to like like what 4 people?). Called most of the Springfield students who helped out in Ramadhan... And on the day itself, ape lagi: Registration lah. Didn't do much at the registration counter actually... But I guess there was a mutual understanding between me and Liyana. I do the minutes, we half-half do the calling, you do the registration list and all. Kan Liyana kan?

Dah itu je.. Adelah a few other events where I sebok2 help-out at like OCEAN where I helped to call people up, Korban where I did registration and had fun at =) dah chop tahun depan nak buat registration hehe and Tathmin Mibarrat where I did registration again but it was erm... a mess arh...

Ok! Dah aku dah tak tau ape nak tulis... Actually I wanna do like a Hall of fame of 2007 thingy like: The Most Happiest Moment, The Most Funiest Moment, The Most Scariest Moment, The Most Saddest Moment, The Most Embarrassing Moment, The Most Loneliest Moment, The Most Guilty Moment, The Most Silliest Moment bla bla bla, but I can't think much right now. So let me just tell a few stories...

There was a time (macam storytelling betol2 pulak haha, tapi ni cerita benar k) as part of our KPR class, Fityan went to qiyam at Masjid Firdaus, the one near the kubur ooOOooOO... There was this story which Ustaz Jamaluddin shared at midnight, which was saddening and makes us reflect afterwhich we wrote a surat wasiat for our family. I think that and the moment where we walked quietly in the kubur were the most taubat-ing moment of 2007 haha. And another moment was a conversation i had with Hafiz on MSN one fine night about kiamat. Taubat taubat...

Then there was this time during jalan raya with titisan at Elfy's house. We were eating at his dinig table at around 11pm gitu. Beside me was Haikal and beside him was Matin and they made jokes throughout the dinner that I kept laughing and laughing till I cried. I couldn't finish my rice larh, ate a few mouthfuls only!~

There's quite a few embarrassing moments which I'll remember. One of it, which is not too embarrassing to share hehe, was when I slid from the exit door almost all the way to the front of the bus and Jun and Fathi laughed at me so hard even after we alighted the bus and were walking.