Was doing psycho weekly online quiz earlier and came across a case-scenario which sounded a bit like how I feels sometime. It's called 'inferiority complex'. Sheesh, since when do I have this low self-esteem??!! What triggered it also I have no idea!

Btw, today is a more motivated day. I wouldn't say I spent every single minute doing something worthwhile as I should, but I just feel a bit more uplifted thasn a few days ago. Please Allah, lift up my spirits and take away all my sorrows!

Cahaya Iman

Iman bagaikan emas permata
Letaknya di dalam jiwa
Kemilau warnanya bak cahaya
Menyuluh hidup seluruh manusia

Iman letaknya di hati
Suburkanlah dengan ilmu
Bajainya dengan zikrullah
Ia menunjukkan kita
jalan keredhaan Allah
Imanlah harta yang paling berharga

Iman kurniaan Yang Esa
Tanpa mengira bangsa dan rupa
Memberi petunjuk jalan mulia
Menjadi benteng penghalang dosa
Orang yang teguh iman
Sabar dengan ujian
Di akhirat dia insan yang mulia

Shaza asked me if I could go to Perdaus to help out with the ice-breaking session with the Sec 4s this morning. Wish I could go but firstly, my mum didn't allow and secondly, because I promised myself to lessen my involvement in so many activities anymore. It is kinda affecting my health and studies... I gotta sort things right first before I can go around running around everywhere like what I did last year. Perhaps I'd take a whole year to recuperate haha. Gosh, that's a longgg time. I love to get involved, but I can't. I would if I could but I can't so I won't. Boo hoo, but I gave the Mendaki appreciation tea and the session at Perdaus a miss and I feel... bad...

Anyway third reason why I couln't help out is because I have madrasah in the afternoon and it'd be a bit of a rush and I can't get tired... So, went to Andalus for my DPI class just now and continued with our module on Mustalah Hadith. I'm liking this DPI. It's an eye-opener so called. There's so much knowledge to learn and I simply love that. What I dread is having to do assignments... Boo hoo... What we are asked to do for this module is to type out a 5-page essay on one of the topics chosen. Dang, I had a hard time choosing. I'm so indecisive larh. And Miss Decisive Zakiah could make her decision so fast I feel like kicking her butt (haha, if you're reading this Zakiah, I'm being straightforward here eh). tried to draw my own lots and I didn't like the results. Kepth reading the 15 choices over and over again, thinking over each again and again. In the end, I chose what I followed the pull of my heartstrings (no kidding haha). But what I had in mind was topic 7: Sejarah penulisan (or something similar to that) Islam pada kurun kedua hijrah. In the end, I ended up telling Ustaz Husny I wanted topic 6, which is the same question butregarding kurun pertama hijrah. What the?? Abe nak tukar, I thought, nvmlah orget it so topic 6 it is!

Lately the mention of any quiz/test/exam/essay/presentation/project makes me wanna cry. Again, no kidding here. During kpr on Sat, Bro Helmi suggested having 'exam' and I nearly cried. There were tears in my eyes larh. I strongly object!! If there's exam for kpr, I'm so gonna attend the classses then purposely fail the exam lol. I love learning. I'm hungry for knowledge (and sometimes I do ask why and have never found the answers) but exams seriously deter me, especially when I already have 2 diplomas to handle ok!!

I hope kpr settles with quizzes like those we had on Sat. And book prizes are great! I read a bit of the book I got already. Hopefully I can finish by this Sat, then I can exchange with Liyana's book, or Zee's, or Faizal's or Hilmi's. They all look so interesting! Why not? They are books on our beloved prophet Muhammad s.a.w. anyway...

And his sirah is exactly what we're learning in kpr. Unlike the normal madrasah sirah classes we have attende though, in kpr, we'll be extracting out the learning points from Nabi's sirah and apply it in daily life! I truly look forward to this 'journey' kpr is gonna take us through. Through Nabi's sirah is the best for us to know Nabi's exemplary akhlak. And as I've mentioned before, hopefully I become a better person! Through kpr, I expect in terms of akhlak at least.

I seriously feel like dropping by Muslimedia tomorrow and spend $100 on books hehehehe. No kidding :P Jun, nak teman? Haha, but I'd need to ask that $100 from my mum first or at least ask permission if I can take from my bank account hehehe.

Oh btw, after class just now I wanted to ask Ust Husny something about the lesson (throughout the lesson I keep wanting to put up my hand and ask but couldn't! I'm remembered of the first time I put up my hand and felt my cheecks go warm and red ish.. Hermione, I need some of your brave genes!!) while my friends waited for me outside the class. Before I asked the qns, Ust was like, "Awak dari madrasah Aljunied eh?" I shook my head no. Then he asked, "Abe awak dari madrasah lain?" I was like, "Err, madrasah... Per-da-us..." He's still convinced I look familiar and asked, "Ade kakak sekolah madrasah?" Lol, Ust takde! Haha, this is not the first time people thought I'm from full-time madrasah and I shall take it as a compliment! Thank you :)

I feel like fasting to celebrate something. But I dunno what to celebrate lol. And my mum don't wanna fast tomorrow...

Klah, I have school tomorrow FYI and need my sleep to restore energy! Seriously I feel like a robot which needs lots of fuel and switch-off-times these days. So low on energy seh! And I eat a lot of carbohydrate that I put on quite a few kilos! I think I need chocolate as booster hahaha. Dairy milk, Ad?

KK, gotta go now. Nite nite! Eruantale signing off! Eruantale is Yana in Elvish in case you don't know :D