Firstly, kepada kengkawanku dari Fityan dan Saff, I truly apologise for not being able to make it to your jln raya. Sincere apologies seua, hug sikit boleh? (Yang mahram je lah)

Secondly, to all NI, NI FA, NI Alumnis, NYPMSN, NYPMSN Alumnis dan sesape sahaja yang join jln raya kita semalam, thank you so much for coming along and contributing whatever you contributed (even your presence itself is a contribution too!) and on behalf of the rest, I apologise for any shortcomins on our part.

Ok, time to go informal! Ouh, aku memang gini... Kena warm-up sikit, tunggu climax dia eh. Sesape yang hang-out ngan aku semalam paham la eh. You know I know we know!

I had a great time yesterday. It was tiring yes, sampai rumah at around midnight, terlentok2 along the way. Maklumlah the night before aku tido around 3am gitu abistu pagi ade madrasah, ade gi my aunt open house sume penat noh.

Bagi sesape yang tak tau, bila aku ngantok I either keep super quiet (like in the earlier part of the day) or I get super hyper (like since brother Saiful's house). Tapikan, aku rasa macam ade pape gitu kat brother Saiful nye rumah. Bukan nye ape ah, but macam as soon as I entered macam aku dah start gila2 lol. Sry ye sesape yang tak beberapa suka.. But perhaps it's just that at that point of time, I was pretty much bonded with some of the sisters already. Dah kenal nama, dari mana, sekolah mana, kerja ape, dah kahwin belum, anak berapa hehehe.

Alhamdulillah I think yesterday's objective to strengthen ukhuwwah between the above mentioned golongan2 (mcm ape pulak) was met. At the end of the day, I felt bonded to most of the sisters. Nak turun tu pon dorang sume mcm bye2 like hai... When can I see them again?

Made friends especially with Sisters Nazirah, Amy and Yati (as in really sit down and talk) and I get to know Nyzzah better (which is we can be sama2 gila haha, if only yesterday was an all sisters outing hmm... I wonder what stunts I'd pull with her lol). Others like Kakak2 Maryam AR, Fiza (Princess Pink/Oh), Sarah, Saqinah and Wani I get to mix around more.

Initially, I was like hiding behind Kak Sarah and Kak Saqinah tau. Then somehow I Nazirah talked to me and shared some problems sume abistu I hopped over to join Amy since Nyzzah wanted to sit with Nazirah. At a point, I sat with Kak Maryam to help her with the money collecting for the bus rental fees, and then at another I found myself beside Kak Yati who told me about how she got into teaching hehe. Along the way adelah bebual sikit2 dengan yang lain. Ade yang mcm ade clique gitu kita tak bebual sangat, ala malu ar hehe. Buat paiseh je.

Anyway, during the jln raya, we had 3 tazkirahs. I apologise that the one which I gave, which was the first, wasn't the best tazkirah I could do. Firstly, it was my first time doing it and I was super nervous. Secondly, I didn't really hafal the ayat2 that I used. Thirdly, what I prepared was too long such that when I tried to shorten it, I overdid it till I forgot to mention the significance of my topic to jln raya. Fourthly, because my team tinggalkan kita sorang2 boo hoo so the only support I felt I could get was from Kak Maryam and it's a really daunting moment to face like what 20 people, excluding my parents. And yes, last but not least, I thought having the tazkirah at my own house would calm my nerves down a little bit, but...having my parents around watching me and listening to every word I say was totally NOT.

I wonder... If that tazkirah was examinable. I could have failed. No greeting. Boring intro. Content berterabuh. Posture inappropriate. And bla bla bla. I suppose if Brother Saddiq had been there to listen, he coul list down a hundred and one stuff that should or should not have been done. But nevermind...

I doubt my mum knows what a tazkirah really is. I myself was only introduced to it by Saff somewhere around June this year. After I gave my tazkirah, my mum asked me questions. I was soooooo taken aback at that. I should have told the whole room about the questions raised by my mum and answered openly instead of answering her personally. But seriously, calm as I tried to be, I was so shocked that I couldn't be lol.

Oh and that's just the way my mum is. Semua aku buat semua salah. Apa dah. Mesti ade comment yang negative. Memanglah manusia tu tak sempurna dan patut diingatkan dan ditegur (as it goes in my tazkirah also) and there's really no point in positive comments whereas negative comments make you improve. But gosh, it does affects your self-confidence when you receive too much negative comments la ok. As if you're always a failure. I was feeling so down after the tazkirah la. Dah la before that I had butterflies in my stomach such that I couldn't eat at Kak Maryam's house. After that pulak I was feeling too down and inconfident and paiseh and entah pape lagi la such that I couldn't eat at Kak Erlyna's house. And the food served at their houses looked delicious! Got sup tulang merah at Kak Maryam's house and I saw people menambah2 at Kak Erlyna's house.

Lega sikit dapat luah that part. Anyway, in the earlier part of this post my mum was sitting beside me. Nak cerita pasal my cousins yang datang my house smlm la but erm, excuse me, some privacy please?

Anyway, the other two tazkirah's were given by brothers Hafiz H and Mohksin on adab2 menziarah and pelapis respectively. I don't think they had prepared it (as in like before the jln raya) but they gave superb tazkirahs. Should learn from them.

One thing I learn and see is that NI provides us with new learning experiences that would equip us for the future. And whatever they put us through simply makes us stronger and better people. See where the alumnis are now, doing wonderfully well in whatever they do (not that all credits goes to NI la lol, effort on their part pon mesti ade pe).

Oh, lupa nak cakap. We did this thing where every house we went, before we went off, a rep would thank the host and doa for them. How good it that? :)

Kk, I've got school. InsyaAllah kalau ade masa, NI jln raya pics up next and the written version of my tazkirah (I realise I write better than I speak. Stereotype: budak Science? I wanna prove them wrong. I can speak as well as write.)

I had a great day yesterday. Walaupun penat, aku tak menyesal!

Went out with Jamie and Ad yesterday afternoon after class to look for a new bag to replace my almost-torn-and-tattered one. I saw this really nice one at the Fila shop at TM but I just can't decide on whether the white one or the pink one fits me better! Ishk, so indecisive of me. Pasal bag pon pening kepala apa dah. Anyway thanks for accompanying me, Jamie and Ad! Oh, I bought a new letter set, can't wait to write to Sylvia in it! So glad there's the shop Lovely Land which recently opened at CS. It sells cute stuff, including letter sets! I don't have to go so far to Kino to buy letter sets anymore!

Last night I followed NI to visit Nenek Zaurah and Nenek Rokiah at Chai Chee. It was an interesting experience I tell you! I've said it, and I'm gonna say it again, tak menyesal beb! The group started with 3, then 5, then 6, then 7, then 10, then 11, then 8, then 5 and you get my point nvm haha. When we knocked on Nenek Zaurah's house, she sounded angry for coming at night but when she let us in, she was so hospitable. A very nice nenek living all alone in a small yet cozy house/room. She insisted we drank and ate. She even served us food and lauk lemak nangka! It was really simpla fare, but what do you expect someone living alone to have? A feast? The food were from the fridge and it wasn't heated. Some of us couldn't eat it, but some of us did. Aku no prob. Cuma sambil jamah makanan tu (dan diingatkan oleh kakak2 di situ untuk put my shoes in the nenek's), macam sebak. Macam mana agaknya aku nanti. Lama lagi, memang. But time flies. One day I could just say, "It seems like yesteday that I visited those neneks at Chai Chee. How I wish someone would visit me today..." Lagi satu, I wonder how my parents would be. Nenek Zaurah was sad that her anak2 only came on the first day then after that the house was silent until we came. Sedih tau!! I hope my parents wouldn't be like that. Takut2 sekarang I visit nenek2 ni then sampai masa my own parents I tak jaga. Astaghfirullah. Ya Allah, ingatkanlah aku tentang semalam bila perlu aku disedari. Amin.

Nenek Rokiah on the other hand was already waiting for us. Just as (or was it before) we knocked on her door, she opened it. She was expecting us and received us with open arms. We ate and drank and she told us HER story. Her children are great. One even sends a maid once or twice a month to clean her house. Just that her health is failing and next year we may not see her (terkejut sekejap bila dengar ni) as she might be at one of her children's houses. She told us about her grandchildren. Hmm.. Budak2 tak tau apa yang dorang cakap tapi boleh tersinggung jugak hati orang. Nenek Rokiah told about the incident nonchalantly as if it's just a small matter but the fact that she remembered it and told us about it proves something else. (Cheh, baru one tut one lec on psycho dah pandai anak mak lol jk) Her granddaughter who is 7 yrs old called her stupid cos she dunno how to use the computer. And according to her, her grandchildren don't wanna come her house cos there's no computer, there's no internet and all... Hai, nenek aku pon takde computer, takde internet but some of her grandchildren seems to flock to her (and live with her), maybe except aku...

Let's take this as a lesson to be learnt la eh. What goes around comes around therefore do unto others how you want others to do unto you. Entahlah quote dari sape tapi sekarang ni, inilah jadi antara satu prinsip hidupku. I wanna visit the neneks again!!! Let's make it a point to visit them once in awhile, just to see how they're doing, to listen to them and cheer up their day! I wanted to visit Nenek Patimah. The other day she had so many stories to tell, but I forgot her door number... Besides, she doesn't open her doors at night she told us the other day.

On a happier note, Puan Hafifah just had a granddaughter! Kak Wani initially said that she's a handsome baby boy hehehe, sekali... Her name's Ayuni (I'm pretty sure it's not Ayumi) Hidayah and she was born on 10th Oct 07 (10 10 seh) cum 27th Ramadhan just after midnight (aisehman, imagine if it was lailatul Qadr) and she's so adorable!! Oh oh, and it's such a small Singapore! I didn't realise I was in Nawawi's house until I saw the family pic. Tak kusangka my Sec sch classmate is Puan Hafifah's son! Anyway, lupa pulak... Happy Birthday Kak Sarah!!!

I had Titisan this morning. It was... like a meditation class hehe. Cuma difference dia kan, in yoga you put all your worries away and go out relaxed whereas in Titisan you put your worries away and insert the worries of your character's!! Lol, selamat ar korang yang character bermasalah... I'm an 8 year old kid who's pissed off at her irritating younger sister and I tell you it's hard to get out of the character! I'm so easily pissed off these few days, perhaps cos I'm getting into character. Sorry Ad, Jamie, Zakiah and who else found me easily irritable this week and the following weeks till Pentas is over. Jangan aku jadi budak 8 yr terus lepas ni sudah. I need to learn how to get out of character when I need! Time AGM last year, I remember I was Sleepy, as in you know Snow White's seven dwarves? Even after AGM, once I step into Titisan room I become sleepy. Haha, is this what being conditioned is? I hope I do a goos job for Pentas! Eventhough Fifi and Hid says there's never a redundant character, I feel mine is, but I shall still do my best to put up a convincing act :) Aku rinduuuuuuu acting!

Let's see.. My first act was in the Royal Murder with ELDDS in Sec 2 or 3. I was a servant to the queen. Then there was Racial Harmony Day act with ELDDS again. I was a Chinese mother, kene cakap cina tauu! Then I was one of the fairy godmothers in my class act for Teachers' Day. We had to do a grease dance kwangz! Then in Titisan, I was involved in AGM as mentioned above. Then there's Salam Aidilfitri in which I made an entrance of just 15 sec and left haha but I was the Asst Director and honestly speaking, I sucked at it. Last but not least was Pentas Janji where I was one of the angels. Enjoyed the stomp. Tak kisahlah org kata merepek ke, tak menjadi ke, sungguh tak angelic ke, I liked it. And Ad came to watch it! In the red dress we chose for her! Appreciate it gurl! There was also this year's AGM when I was IC of the costume and PPP when I was props mistress. Finally there's Pentas Rahsia of which I'm the props mistress again and I'm gonna be one of the extras in Titisan's show. Hopefully everything goes well. I'm waiting for the props list from Fifi.

Okok, side track jauuuuuuuh sekali. Dah dah, I've got work to do! Coming up next, pics of NI jln raya insyaAllah!

I was so pissed off at small simple things today. Thing is I didn't get enough sleep for the past few days then I had to wake up early today for MCT lec plus after that lec I have 7 hrs break. Tu ok tau considering I have to get used to it. The session at 4pm was the one which pissed me off sooo badly. Not only was it the cause that I had to wake up from my catcing-up sleep and rush to school since there's attendance taking, the session was so formal, so boring and so lame too. Gosh, we're not P1 or P2 kids you know... We're year 2 poly students okayy. What sucked was that they anyhow pick 3rd Nov and tell us at such late notice that we've got to go to 2 blocks allocated to us and do survey. Woitz, you think our Saturdays are so free izzit?? On 3rd Nov I have Titisan training (of which PENTAS is less than 1 mth away) and Fityan Perjumpaan Hari Raya for goodness sake! Tell us at such short notice and expect us to be free, what seyy..

Luckily (actually unluckily but nvm) Masjid Sultan cannot provide us their auditorium in the afternoon of 3rd Nov as we requested, so instead the Perjumpaan Hari Raya will be at night. Sooo on 3rd Nov I have to go for Titisan trg, cabut halfway for this FSC CIP thingy then prepare whatever is necessary for Perjumpaan Hari Raya and walaa it's show time! Alarr, kita jaga registration table jee...

I'm supposed to be writing out the tazkirah for this Sunday's NI jalan raya tapi memandangkan sekarang sudah jam 1pg and I gotta wake up early tmr, ciaoz!

School started today. It was pretty ok, considering I only had one lecture: Psychology. I'm sure Psychology would be just as interesting as Sociology. Today's lecture was already insightful and it's just the first one!

The lecturer, Mr Jeff Neufeld, started the session by shouting at the whole lt to shut up, that it's his turn then to speak. Then he approached some of the students at the first few rows and asked nicely what did he just do. Then he asked, "So am I a nice person acting nasty or am I a nasty person acting nice?" Hmm... Good question. This kinda things interest me.

There were other things he did which made the lecture fun. He threw a pokeball softtoy at a girl to answer a question. But that girl didn't catch it and it bounced off her head! Lol. Then he told the class, "When I throw this you're supposed to catch it and not let it bounce on your head. If all of you refuse to catch this, I'll throw this... or this," while bringing out a harder toy ball and then a ROCK! Ok...

Then he showed us this video where there are two groups of people throwing two balls amongst themselves. He asked us to observe the 3 people wearing white and how many times they threw the ball, how many times they threw it overhead and how many times they bounced it to someone else. And so we observed. Some of us that it hehe. He went around to ask at the end of the video and turns out some didn't count, while those that counted got different answers. He then asked if we noticed anything else. The person he asked mentioned dribbling. So, then he showed us the video again, this time observe everything. Turns out while we were concentrating on the people wearing white throwing balls, someone in a black ape costume entered the scene, stood in the middle, waved at the viewers and left. Kwang3! I didn't notice it at all. And believe me, the way the 'ape'-man waved was so funny. And he didn't show another video cos Ad saw that ape! Before he replayed the video, Ad was telling me, "Monkey..." I thought she was saying they were playing monkey. Then it turned out... lol

But then... I'm gonna need to put in quite a lot of effort. This subject requires reading the textbook ( and the newspaper for that matter) . And I'm pretty sure the test would be as hard as socio's. AND the group project is a commercial on screws, hammers n that sort <-- like, okayyy...

I wonder what's in store for me tomorrow! For school I mean.

Plans for this week:
Tues: meet Kak Maryam to borrow notes, Ghufran meeting
Wed: NI T&D meeting, MAG meeting
Thurs: NI T&D meeting, visit Ustz Sakinah
Fri: go Chai Chee
Sat: Titisan trg & Fatayaat jln raya (or Saff?)
Sun: madrasah & NI jln raya

Waaaaaaah!!! Gawat, penuhnya! Uh oh...

Again I can hear the azan from Ghufran, just as I was reading a poster in Shahril's blog about being hamba-Nya. SubhanAllah!

And may Allah bless Ustaz Irwan with pink health again. I have no idea how he is after I heard about the accident. Do pray for him dear friends.

Waaah! I didn't sleep the whole night editting the Tafsir project and adding in my part of it. I'm sleeeeeepy and yet there's a whooooole day to face. There's madrasah then there's houses to visit and who knows who might visit my house in turn. Yesterday I think nearly 50 people visited as if we did a open house, which we didn't.

Anyway proud that my cookies are still crispy even though I ran out of crisco (actually it was expired ya). Sick and tired of my lagging phone and wishing for a new one but nah... I want sleep lah deh...

Haha timetable I mean...

I was soooooo excited about school reopening on Monday, but after checking out who'll be in my class and who'll not, I wanna cry... :'(

And after staring at my timetable, and comparing it with others, I feel like complaining but I really shouldn't...

Let's take a look at it shall we?

Semester Timetable for MARLIYANA BTE MOHAMAD NOOR	Acad Year: 2007/2008	Sem: Oct
Tut - Tutorial Lec - Lecture Lab - Laboratory
Time Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday 8:00 MBIO (Lec) 8:00-9:00 jasoncha (67806228) Quek Hung Hiang (67805953) LB01 IT7-1-4(LT16) IT7-1-41(LT15) WK 27-33, 37-43 MCT (Lec) 8:00-9:00 pengchi (67806209) Cheung Po Loong Paul (67805348) LB01 IT7-1-4(LT16) IT7-1-41(LT15) WK 27-33, 37-43 9:00 AMic (Lab) 9:00-10:00 Loh Han Liat (67806414) PF03 IT7-5-4 WK 27-33, 37-43 ABCHM (Tut) 9:00-10:00 Huang Yan (67805367) TF03 IT5-5-16 WK 27-33, 37-43 MBIO (Tut) 9:00-10:00 Quek Hung Hiang (67805953) TF03 IT5-5-22 WK 27-33, 37-43 ABCHM (Lab) 9:00-10:00 Huang Yan (67805367) Kok Chor Wee (67805366) PF03 IT5-2-15 IT5-2-16 WK 27-33, 37-43 MCT (Lec) 9:00-10:00 pengchi (67806209) Cheung Po Loong Paul (67805348) LB01 IT7-1-4(LT16) IT7-1-41(LT15) WK 27-33, 37-43 10:00 AMic (Lab) 10:00-11:00 Loh Han Liat (67806414) PF03 IT7-5-4 WK 27-33, 37-43 ABCHM (Tut) 10:00-11:00 Huang Yan (67805367) TF03 IT5-5-16 WK 27-33, 37-43 MCT (Tut) 10:00-11:00 Cheung Po Loong Paul (67805348) TF03 IT4-4-61 WK 27-33, 37-43 ABCHM (Lab) 10:00-11:00 Huang Yan (67805367) Kok Chor Wee (67805366) PF03 IT5-2-15 IT5-2-16 WK 27-33, 37-43 MCT (Lec) 10:00-11:00 pengchi (67806209) Cheung Po Loong Paul (67805348) LB01 IT7-1-4(LT16) IT7-1-41(LT15) WK 27-33, 37-43 11:00 AMic (Lab) 11:00-12:00 Loh Han Liat (67806414) PF03 IT7-5-4 WK 27-33, 37-43 ABCHM (Lec) 11:00-12:00 Huang Yan (67805367) LF01 IT7-3-7(LT8) WK 27-33, 37-43 ABCHM (Lab) 11:00-12:00 Huang Yan (67805367) Kok Chor Wee (67805366) PF03 IT5-2-15 IT5-2-16 WK 27-33, 37-43 ABCHM (Lec) 11:00-12:00 Huang Yan (67805367) LF01 IT7-3-8(LT7) WK 27-33, 37-43 12:00 MCT (Lab) 12:00-13:00 pengchi (67806209) PF03 IT7-7-9 WK 27-33, 37-43 ABCHM (Lec) 12:00-13:00 Huang Yan (67805367) LF01 IT7-3-7(LT8) WK 27-33, 37-43 MBIO (Lab) 12:00-13:00 Quek Hung Hiang (67805953) PF03 IT7-7-8/1 WK 27-33, 37-43 MCT (Lab) 12:00-13:00 pengchi (67806209) BIO STAFF B PF03 IT7-7-8/1 IT7-7-8/2 WK 27-33, 37-43 AMic (Lec) 12:00-13:00 Loh Han Liat (67806414) LF01 IT7-3-10(LT6) WK 27-33, 37-43 13:00 MCT (Lab) 13:00-14:00 pengchi (67806209) PF03 IT7-7-9 WK 27-33, 37-43 MBIO (Lab) 13:00-14:00 Quek Hung Hiang (67805953) PF03 IT7-7-8/1 WK 27-33, 37-43 Psychology (Lec) 13:00-14:00 siewleng (67806132) jeff (67806150) L05 BS26-2-16(LT23) WK 27-33, 37-43 14:00 MCT (Lab) 14:00-15:00 pengchi (67806209) PF03 IT7-7-9 WK 27-33, 37-43 MBIO (Lab) 14:00-15:00 Quek Hung Hiang (67805953) PF03 IT7-7-8/1 WK 27-33, 37-43 AMic (Tut) 14:00-15:00 Loh Han Liat (67806414) TF03 IT5-6-14 WK 27-33, 37-43 MBIO (Lec) 14:00-15:00 jasoncha (67806228) Quek Hung Hiang (67805953) LB01 IT7-3-10(LT6) IT7-3-11(LT5) WK 27-33, 37-43 15:00 AMic (Lec) 15:00-16:00 Loh Han Liat (67806414) LF01 IT7-3-10(LT6) WK 27-33, 37-43 MBIO (Lec) 15:00-16:00 Quek Hung Hiang (67805953) jasoncha (67806228) LB01 IT7-3-10(LT6) IT7-3-11(LT5) WK 27-33, 37-43 16:00 Psychology (Tut) 16:00-17:00 elizabeth (67806576) T02 IT5-5-24 WK 27-33, 37-43 AMic (Lec) 16:00-17:00 Loh Han Liat (67806414) LF01 IT7-3-10(LT6) WK 27-33, 37-43 17:00 Psychology (Tut) 17:00-18:00 elizabeth (67806576) T02 IT5-5-24 WK 27-33, 37-43 18:00 19:00 20:00 21:00

How is it? And yes, I got Psycho... Should I change it to Understanding Theatre? It'd help Titisan I think.

And I screwed up in Titisan also. Waah! Wanna blame my lagging phone also like... Sheesh! I just hope Cynthia is lenient and allows booking!! Shucks!

And jalan2 raya ni sumer, I'm screwing things up as well! Ya Allah!

I'm still determined to do very well this sem tho, alhamdulillah. Motivation is important! Next step: action. I need an action plan and a personal schedule! And I want kpr class to start again... But I guess that has to wait. At LEAST, after all this raya stuff and Ustaz Ahmad's wedding right...

My legs feel like they have loose screw. Seriously, I feel like an old lady you know!

I'm supposed to be writing minutes for just now's meeting haix...

At least I enjoyed Ratatouille just now! Thanks for accompanying Ad! The show was great! A bit of humour (maybe a lot), a bit of touchy-ness, a bit of philosophy, a bit of 'perspective', a bit of sense tho it's supposed to be merepek haha. And the sound effect was cooooooool! I like the show, and not so much cos of the storyline...

Alar, aku ngah merepek arh ni... Entah kenapa ale2 macam depressed gitu. Someone do something quick! School's starting! I can't afford to slip into depression, and for no good reason!!! I just feel I'm a failure to carry out simple jobs properly. Hmph!

Yay yay Hikmah 3 dah start on Sensasi! Best best!

Anyway, hopped to Ustazah Aisha's blog tadi, ada entry:

Sambutan raya sibuklah sangat
Nak kirim ucapan pun tak sempat
Harap salamku belum terlambat
Esei aqidah kot belum dapat...?

Lolz! Nampaknya bukan aku sorang yang tergendala kerja gara2 10 hari terakhir Ramadhan, preparations for raya and jalan raya yang tak habis2! Salah timing lah...

Anyway, I'm having a bad case of rashes. Was worst yesterday... It started to itch at the leg area, then the arms then like the whole body pulak aisehman. I just hope it's nothing worst than normal rashes sebab I saw an insect bite on my arm. Tsk tsk. Takut jugak ni cos badan rasa panas2... Teringat that time my dad kena dengue! Alamak! Ni asyik hujan hujan nie...

Teringat joke raya kat rumah my nenek tiri (terpikir jap grand-step-mother or step-grand-mother lol). Actually bukan joke, just what I said was funny hehe. Rumah dia lawa ada tangga, kita sukerr la nak amek gambar. Abe maluu, paiseh! My nenek tiri ni pulak ngah duduk kat tangga tu so when I passed her I said, "Nek, tumpang tangga nak amek gambar." Lol, macam ape seh.

Hai, dari tadi pegang buku tafsir nak habiskan tafsir project tapiiiiii... Ish tak tau nak tulis ape laa. What can us Muslims learn from keistimewaan, hak2 & tanggungjawab Rasulullah dan ahlul baitnya??!! Sheesh...

Zee told me tak jadi jalan raya this saturday pasal ramai fatayaats takble make it. So postponed to 27th! Waah! Saff siang2 dah book that date nak jalan raya. Serba salah aku dibuatnya. Fityan always my first priority but Saff dah bilang dulu siang2. Macam time tu RamadhanRocks clash ngan Fityan nye Youth Connected abe aku siang2 sejak July dah committed ngan RamadhanRocks. Haixx.. See Saddiq, susah tau! Aku majok boycott dua2 kang! (Sekali dorang lagi suka, alamakkk!!)

Ape je yang aku merepek dari tadi ye (padahal nak escape buat Tafsir project lol). Dah la!
Signing off! Ouh, NI nye jalan raya on 28th Oct and Fityan nye Perjumpaan Hari Raya event on 3rd Nov. And if I'm not mistaken, madrasah exams on 4th Nov. Alamakkk oiiiii!!!

Camera kita takdelah sebagus camera NI jadi quality gambar ader ehem sikit lah eh...

Moments captured during Riang Ria Ramadhan NI Iftar '07.... Betol punya riang ria! Pictures credits to cameraman (umm... sape ehk?) Sampai masuk newspaper you! Kwang3! Enjoy!

Alhamdulillah raya was great this year. InsyaAllah akanku post pics once they're uploaded. Maklumlah bukan camera kita... heheh

This year macam kekek gitu. Ade je yang merepek meraban tau haha. Anyway, quite a lot of differences this year. My grandaunt was not at her house, instead she's staying with my other aunt (penat tau panjat tangga 4 tingkat Cik Jubai!), Cik Khalid changed the position of the furniture at his house and painted his house in beautiful stripes! (Ma, tahun depan kita cat rumah kita cam gini ar! Haha, tak kuasa aku!), my Uncle Euspoe has new furniture (and the old one is at my house hahaha), my Uncle Big moved to a smaller bungalow right behind his previous bungalow, which will be torn down and rebuilt into two smaller bungalows with pools (makkau, kaya giler seh)<--that's the first day.

Second day pulak, convoy with my Uncle Yunus (Cik Jarah la! Lupa pulak nama pakcik aku ni), went to Nek Yok (tak pernah2 aku gi umah dia, mak aku majuk kwang3), went to my Cik Midah's place all the way at Teban Gardens, first time (mak oi, aku dah jadi anak dia dah ni... actually anak dia, my cousin la, same age as me and was in the same pri school as me when he passed away in pri 4 after falling down a few floors while playing hide-n-seek eish), we went to this Cik Meng's place, sape sey... (when I told my bro I dunno who she was, he joked alar gakkan tak kenal kott, tambah 'Ah' je kat depan! kidding eh Cik! Macam lar makcik tu baca blog aku ehk), abistu more or less normal cuma the route very funny haha. Then, when we were parking our car at our block area, my uncle called:

Cik Khalid: "Dah kat mane dah?" (Where are you now?)
My mum: "Dah sampai kat blk rumah lah ni, tengah cari parking kat bawah. Korang dah kat mane?" (We've reached home, finding parking space downstairs. Where are all of you at?"
Cik Khalid: "Oh kitorang kat atas, dah sampai dah!" (Oh, we're upstairs, reach already!)

Kwang3, kelam kabut dibuatnya. Padahal dah plan, sebelum dorag sampai siapkan cawan2 letak ice dulu SEKALI... Hahaha

Adalah joke joke lain yang dah tak ingat dah. Tapi every year mesti kena kacau ngan my brothers. Maklumlah, kereta tu kecik, aku duduk kat tengah in between my brothers. Hai! My eldest bro kalau masuk tak habis2 buntut tolak aku. Sorry, sengaja?!?! Lol.

Makan pon ape kurang nye. I name it, 'Revenge of the Empty Stomachs!' Mentang2 satu bulan puasa, datang raya kalau boleh every house nak sumbat kita macam2. Kembong perut aku haha. Nasib masih cun jugak pakai baju kurung aku haha.

Dah la, besok nak tengok Ratatouille ngan Ad, nak tido!!!

Alhamdulillah, habis jugak Aqidah essay aku. 1,189 words beb! And erm, two days late opps! Alar paham2 jelar, dah sampai last 10 days of Ramadhan tu nak buat asyik ada je tugas lain nak kena buat. Kalau tak pon, dah terlalu penat buat tugas, nak tidur aje... Kesian eh? Haha. Anyway, kita nak share sekali lah ape yang panjang lebar aku tulis tu. Mudah-mudahan kawan2 sekalian bantu lah ana ye. ;)


Personal reflection on the duty of obeying Rasulullah and the other Muslim leaders in my life.

We are taught in madrasah classes or in syarahan and such to obey Rasulullah and the other Muslim leaders in our lives. Along with it, we are taught on how to go about it (adab-adab). However, it is ‘natural’ for normal humans like myself to disobey, even without reason. We simply do not practice what we learn.

First things first, what does it mean to obey someone? Well, according to dictionary.com, to obey someone is to comply with or to follow the commands, restrictions, wishes, or instructions of someone. Ok, let’s delve deeper. What then does it mean to obey Rasulullah (and the other Muslim leaders)? Well, since Rasulullah brought the teachings of Islam, to obey him would be to comply with or to follow the commands, restrictions, wishes, or instructions in Islam, also meaning to comply or follow what is stated in the holy Qur’an and Rasulullah’s sunnah.

I know I must obey, but it is just hard sometimes. Is it due to godaan syaitan and that sometimes my level of iman is low such that it bows down to the devils’ snare? Hmm, perhaps that may be the reason in other months, but what about in the month of Ramadhan when syaitan dibelenggu?

I think those whom I find hardest to obey are my parents, whom I consider the Muslim leaders in my life apart from my religious teachers. I see them everyday, and they give me commands, restrictions, wishes and instructions. Everyday. I don’t know why, the more they want me to do something or the more they do not want me to do something, the more I shall do the opposite. For example, the more they ask me to clean my room, the more I will avoid doing it or the more they remind me not to delay my prayers, the more I shall do so. Perhaps it is because of their tone of command. Perhaps also it is because I want to do things out of my own accord, just as when I started to pray or to wear tudung. Either way, I know I must obey, yet I do not, and not to obey my parents (the Muslim leaders) means not to obey Rasulullah which eventually means not to obey Allah. Brr, I do not dare to even think of it! Yet…

We just left the month of Ramadhan behind. Everyone hopes that all their amalan are accepted by the One and Almighty. Myself included. I have this habit of leaving my prayers till the last minute, causing me to miss my prayers sometimes, especially Zohor and Isya’ prayers. I hope Ramadhan has improved my habits. I have yet to see. I went to the mosque for terawih prayers whenever I can during Ramadhan, and since terawih prayers are done right after Isya’ prayers, I have to perform my Isya’ prayers on time. Also, since I have to break fast at home with my family and thus have to rush to the mosque, I cannot afford to delay my Maghrib prayers as well. Alhamdulillah I have friends that normally urge me to perform my prayers as soon as possible, especially during school hours. InsyaAllah this bad habit of delaying my prayers will cease. Of course, I have to put in more effort as well! By remembering Allah instead of the ‘earthly’ things that I need to complete first.

On another note, while I try to go for terawih and night prayers as well as help out with Ramadhan activities by Muslim organizations during Ramadhan, I got too busy and tired such that I forgot my duties at home. This is definitely a challenge. While I try to obtain mardhatillah through those efforts, I anger my parents because I do not do my duties at home such as bake kuih raya, wipe the kitchen cabinets, clean my room and so on. Initially, I could juggle both but as time went by, the balance was disturbed and I became inclined to only one side.

How is this? Obeying Rasulullah comes first before obeying the Muslim leaders but isn’t keredhaan Allah placed on the keredhaan of our parents? There was a certain riwayat also regarding one of His servants who wanted to go to war for jihad. His parents however were old and required him to take care of them. Rasulullah then told him that to care for his parents too is jihad and should come first before going to war, even when it is done in the name of Allah. I suppose then that I should have stayed at home to complete my duties rather or before I go for the activities outside. Of course this is easier said than done since I enjoy doing those activities more than my duties at home. I guess that is what I should keep in mind in future. Importantly my niat is right, that is to obtain mardhatillah in whatever I do.

There are other examples of disobeying Rasulullah such as talking behind people’s back and to raise voice towards the Muslim leaders, whether purposely or not. I also remember someone whom I met at a carnival. My friend and I were having fun singing and dancing while on the job there. We did it rather quietly and thought no one was looking. This person advised us that it’s not right for young girls to do that when there is a crowd there. We were taken aback by her remarks and retorted that everyone was busy and would not notice us. I thought about it and remembered something. Someone is always watching us, and He knows what we do at all times even when we are alone and we will be accounted for our actions in the hereafter. That person was right to advice us and I’m glad she reminded us.

We are humans, and we will remain humans for as long as we live, insyaAllah, and as humans, we tend to disobey. But we know that humans cannot live alone individually, we live in communities and as a community, it is easier to do good things together. A form of motivation more or less. I think peers play an important part in helping us change. If we have friends that remind us to do good, insyaAllah, we will change for the better. Afterall, we listen to our peers more than to our parents right? I understand that this wrong, yes, but why not use it to advantage? Why don’t we listen to our peers to obey Rasulullah and the Muslim leaders in our lives? I suppose this concept is a bit distorted, but why not? We should remind each other towards amar ma’ruf nahi mungkar! To overcome the challenge of nafsu and godaan syaitan and whatnots that leads us to disobey Rasulullah and the Muslim leades, do it with peers. As the saying goes, two heads are better than one… So, should not ‘two person’s iman are better than one’ be true too? This is my plan to overcome the challenges I face in staying obedient so that I can be a better follower in the future!

Qiyam at Ghufran was ok yesterday. The fatayaats are so funny larh, but I think I prefer Saff's peace and tranquility haha. Oh and I think qiyam-ing alone like that time at Masjid Al-Kaff is more sincere even though if it's short and simple. But at least I know what I'm doing. Following the imam like yesterday, I don't even know if the imam is doing solat tahajjud or solat hajat or what?? And his doa even though was translated into Malay for everyone's benefit, was unclear.

Watching Aladdin on Disney Channel. Gosh, the last time I watched it on tape (yes, on TAPE) was when I don't even understand the story haha.

Ramadhan is leaving... Tonight marks the start of the last day of Ramadhan 1428H. Will I be able to meet the next Ramadhan? Will I be able to be just as active next Ramadhan? What about this Ramadhan? Did I fill it with all useful activities? Did I become a better person? Will I continue all the small ibadah I do in Ramadhan so stop once Syawal says hi?

Ok, I have one day for my tafsir and aqidah project. Gotta go!!!