Aiwah! My room's air-con at hostel will be functional on 4th jan onwards :D not that we need it... but it'd be nice to have the aircon blowing on super scorching days...

Do you miss friendster? It looks very much different from how it used to look like the last time I went in haha. What I miss about friendster most is the comments page. And it is interesting to read it back...

I think I have changed alot over the span of 3-4 years. The most noticeable trait I used to have that I no longer have is: being quiet. 10 people, all the way from sec sch to poly commented that I was a veryyy quiet person. Gosh, what telah happen to me?? I'm such a noisy tank now! Confidence boost? Or influence from the people around? I wonder how many people who know me now would ay they still find me quiet...

Abû Hurayrah relates that Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said: “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak a good word or remain silent. And whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should show hospitality to his neighbor. And whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should show hospitality to his guest.” [ Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim ]

Another trait I no longer seem to have is the ability to smile all the time. Nowadays my forehead seems to be stitched into a frown all the time. Friends say I look stressed all the time, such that it is rare to see me smile anyway :(

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "Charity is prescribed for each descendant of Adam every day the sun rises." He was then asked: "From what do we give charity every day?" The Prophet answered: "The doors of goodness are many...enjoining good, forbidding evil, removing harm from the road, listening to the deaf, leading the blind, guiding one to the object of his need, hurrying with the strength of one's legs to one in sorrow who is asking for help, and supporting the feeble with the strength of one's arms--all of these are charity prescribed for you." He also said: "Your smile for your brother is charity." - Fiqh-us-Sunnah, Volume 3, Number 98

Those that say I'm quiet... hahaha

Mohksin12/28/2006 9:05 pm
(= thx for the testimonial.didnt xpect it frm u.baru jgk kenal kn=) ive seen this sister ard jgk @ ghufran,but nvr really communicated.first impression, shes a VERY quiet girl!haha n i still think she is.jgn sangka pendiam itu satu kelemahan!She went thru EVERYTHING @ KRC!some of it r quite challengin n TABIK SPRING la u get to go thru it all!alhamdulillah!rase nye tk boleh comment byk sgt sbb tk kenal lg kott(= may Allah b ur source of guidance. teruskan perjuangan tersendiri di TP ya!rasenye semua org ada cara masing2 nk menegakkan Islam dan cara marliyana lain siket.tapi sekirenya nk mencarik adek bradek seperjuangan di TP,boleh la carik Nur Ikhwan.pasti mereka menerima dgn tangan terbuka=) Smoga Allah membimbing setiap langkah Marliyana.perjuangan ni tak mudah.kdg2 kita jatoh tp yg penting kita bgn semula dan terus lawan.jgn putus asa ya!Allah tak janjikn perjalanan yg mudah tp Allah janjikn perjalan penuh dgn hikmah=) ur brothers n sisters @ fityan will always b there 2 support u!

MiSsy BLur04/22/2005 7:06 pm
harlow, thankz 4 writing my testi for me.I
am writin back for u a testi .........i knoe
this ger from my cca lor......... first
impression of her is tat she is a shy &
quiet ger lor .........she is a sweet and
helpful ger she helps mi alot in my cca .
she teaches mi alot...... thankz her.....
she is a ger that i will remember coz
she bring mi joy and have a lovley smile
she makes mi laugh too....... she is a
smart and cute gal .........i am veri glad
to have u as my friend...... hope u dun 4
get mi hor.......... tat's all....byez!!!!!

Xx iLLaLARH xX09/09/2004 6:06 pm
hey0... thnx for the testi...
As f0r u my l0vely cousin: yaNa nye
orAng, swEEt and caring. kadang2
diam abEy tu oLang buAl, diE tuMpaNg
kEtAwEr...! hehe!! FrienDly oso... Yana,
sTudioUs, seLalu nGn buku!! Hehe!
MacaM kakAk duLu tetApi YanA leBih
PanDAi laa!! ~hAhA~ Kz>>> anyH0w,
tAke carE, stAy smI|Ing and StuDy
SmArT not StuDy H@rD!!

fatinizzah09/08/2004 8:11 pm
Hey Marl! thanks for the testi. and me?!
stuck-up?! hehe. yeah. this girl's nice.
she's very sweet.
so jealous. Hmmpph. A bit quiet tho.
We're not that close. Sumtimes when
I'm with her, i hardly know what to say.
Hehe. But hope that will change over the
years that we've been friends!. =D

Daphne07/02/2004 2:42 am
heyz!!'ssup..tis gurl here has been in
e same class as me since sec1..bt too
bad gt separated..well,marl is sucha
sweet gurl..always so helpful..she has
a aweet smile..and yeah,she's really
quiet sumtimes..(compared to me)..hahaz..well,take care..till e
next one..tata~ ^^
-hUggiez-

aSRi03/15/2004 11:30 pm
Helloz!! Haha. This girl is so quiet.
I just can't stand it seeing her so
darn quiet. But she's really fun to be
with if ya get to know her better.
She's just the girl-next-door kinda
girl. She's just very down-to-earth.
That's all I can say bout this sweet
girl. Stay positive Marl!

peiling12/29/2003 5:21 pm
aloha marilyana suprised hor i add u
testimonials cuz i nth to do so write a
testimonials for yew okay back to the
point she is veri quiet but she has a
nice smile and she veri cute
lolx..although i nt quite noe her but
she is a nice fren okay i will hv to
stop here buai buai...


syidaH12/14/2003 6:51 pm
helo marLl!! hahaKz.. dis girl.. she's
very quieT!! *whicH at times i just
caNt stand it cOz im one hell of a
loud and 4eva toKing person* (hehe)..
marL is very nice.. she has goT a very
good personaLity.. she's sweeT and
always haF got dis loveLy smile on
her.. sHe's very cLever!! *tsK.. no
fair* tHo she's quieT, she's
outgoing.. can toK to her ezly.. sHe
jokes round and everyTing.. very goOd
person.. :D

Hanamariya12/06/2003 11:47 pm
eyy marliyana! from wat i noe of her,
she's kinda quiet, soft-spoken and
juz.. i dunno.. so gentle!!! i dunno
how u can stand to be so patient(or
issit bcos i dunno u well? hmm..)
okok marl is one girl
u've gotta noe! if u want a patient
understanding great to talk to and
gentle wife/fren/gf. hehe cyaz!

shida12/05/2003 7:13 pm
Hello Marliyana. HmM~ We don't usually
talk much aRh` She's the quiet quite
type.. And I am the noisy noisy type.
HehHe` YarR~ She's sweet and adorable.
Very nice to talk to and friendly. =)
I don't really know her because we're
not really close. But I believe that
she's one smart girl~ Uh-huh! Very
clever. YaRr~ That is all I have got
to say about this sweet, nice,
adorable, cute, quiet, friendly, smart
lad. BuBbyE` Hope our friendship may
bloom like a flower~ Whee!



Smileeeeeeee

DihaNA01/02/2005 4:51 pm
hello.......sis...=)...emm....besh...besh...
akak da dapat contact nana guner f'ster
.....dis is my lovely cousin in s'pore......
kalo balik saner akak suker nak borak2
ngan nana....cumer jumper x jumper
jelarr...so, how's ur study?? study hard
yer....dis gurl mmg cute....like her sweet
face very much....akak suker tgk muker
nana time nana senyum...sweet sgt....
pasal pastport pun akak x sure...mak
mcm da malas nak bawak akak n didi
balik saner lagi...tp, insy...kalo ader
peluang akak mestilar nak balik saner....
kiter kan jarang jumper..nanti lepas nie,
biler jumper jer mesti nana da besar....=)
maybe da 18/19......hehehe....
klar...nana...study rajin2.....n jangan
luper akak kat sinie.......=)

Yan Shan10/16/2004 9:59 pm
Heyoz! Thnx 4 writin me a testi.. ^_^
Hmm.. wad i know about you is actually
quite little.. Thru the book club one.. but i
can tell she's very friendly, always
saying hi to me or waving me hi.. ^_^
Wel.. i also think she very cheerful one,
always her smile is there.. =D And very
helpful too, from wad i see.. O_O haha..
hope that you'll remain cheerful 4eva
and bring sunshine to everyone who
have the luck to meet u! Gd Luckz! ^_^

fierce???

iyliana12/03/2004 11:05 am
hey, grl!~ thanks for the testi. yeah? tis
grl, short but is sooo hard to bully.
hahahkz. she speaks out wadeva is in
her mind... a very sweet person.. i bet
she've got loads of friends now ;)

she's been so busy with school then got
no time with the ol' peeps... aiyoh... well,
okie grl... take care ks? next yr must jln
raye tau!!! love u! :)

Jeh Ni03/14/2004 1:43 pm
Hi :) Remember me? Known this girl...
since primary 3 back in TNPS... about
7 years ago already :) A very nice and
friendly person... can make u feel
very comfortable to be around with.
Can be very crazy sometimes also. A
very cheerful girl... rarely c her
angry 1. She knoes how to comfort pple
when they r sad... then later in the
end can get that person to cry because
she laughed 2 much :) Also just want
to let u knoe that i never regretted
having u as a friend. Although last
time not very close... because i think
u very fierce then i dun dare to talk
to u often :) Stay cool alwaes... take
care of yourself and drink more water.
C ya and keep in touch. Friends
forever, forever friends :)



Other comments

ShImA09/25/2007 1:08 am
Hi dearest Marliyana, hope you have had your beautiful rest....it was really fun working with you....very patient indeed...subhanallah....i really dunno how you had all the strength to stay throughout those nights thinking of the programs...subhanallah...really love working with you my dear.....hope you forgive me if i said something wrong or if i "tortured" you...hehe....take care k and keep in touch....muacks!...

Cherylene09/29/2005 11:18 am
Hellozzz! Juz dropping by to write u a testi!

Umm...During upper pri, She is in the class nxt to mine...In sec 1 and 2, she is aso in the nxt class...In sec 3 and 4, She is once again in the nxt class...haha...So I nv really had the chance to be in the same class as Marliyana...But I got to know her better thru our cca...

She is a really cute, friendly and bubbly gal who wld nv hesitate to lend u a helping hand...She is aso a nice person to talk to and wld give good advices....

Thanks for being such a great fren, Marliyana! All the best to ur O levels and may u stay in the pink of health alwayz...Tak care...(",)

MiNsI05/26/2005 11:46 pm
super niceeeeeeeeeeeee frien.. been
sittin bside her ever since we moved 2 e
MI room.. n tt's when i noe her better..

Marl is someone who alwaz makes
others feel impt.. she establishes e
class blog lor.. so enthu.. thnx 4 tt.. i
guess our class is much united now..

Don worry bout ur results lerh.. StRiVe
HaRdEr kk?? All e BEZ 4va...

B4 i go, thnx 4 ur cookies........... man,
they taste so nice... guess i will nvr b
able 2 bake them...

Zhi Xin11/01/2004 3:42 pm
Hello.....supermario~~haha.........that is
what i call her.She is a hardworking girl
everytime group work she and the
others(girls) doing the homeworks
assigned to us while i and marcus
slacking......even after the exams she
also learn the Arabs kinds of
things....hai~~~
anyway, happy holidays

-ZhiYu-08/31/2004 9:55 pm
thx 4 ur testi,now i return u the
favour.marliyana..my senior..she veri
helpful tt why mdm liang put her wiv
me so tt she can help me...she veri
sweet n beautiful young lady..takes
gd care of her juniors..though i duno
her tt well can see from the way she
does the library work,veri
responsible..veri sporting too,seen
her dressed up in racial harmony
clothings n oso for the retro
thingy.should haf been a gd example
4 ur class oso for the sec1s.. best
wishes 2 u in both studies n cca..bye..

shairah08/20/2004 11:28 pm
a sweeet, patient gurl who lurrvees cats...she's
just like me!! (jking! but seriously, the
similarities are freaky!) met marliyana
during sec 1 but got to noe her better
during eldds meetings...can confirm dat
she's soooo sweet and lembut, she
makes everyone looks bad! anywae to
my fellow-cat-fanatic, thanks for my
testi! c ya sooooon~

I miss my old me...

Mon 4.30-6.30 AAY104
Tues 1.30-3.30 AAB102
Wed 2.30-4.30 AAB104
Wed 4.30-6.30 AAY105
Thurs 8.30-11.30 AAB102/104 tut
Fri 2.30-5.30 AAY104/105 tut

Thurs 8.30 ehhhhh! Meaning... I can't attend Spiritual Boosters on Wednesday nights @ Ghufran... Silalah adakan live telecast boleh?

Still have 2 more modules to slot in to the timetable. ALS & AED... I hope the timings are 'friendly'...

I attended the first FOC '10 meeting @ NTU this afternoon. Met up with the 3 advisors, camp commandant, deputy, camp coordinator & co-coordinator. I feel the most 'tak penting' over there... Guess what's my role???















Apa lagi kalau bukan Head Programmer!!!! (k yok sumer ketawa, jangan lupa pesan Ustaz kalau nak ketawa kuat2 tak boleh ada suara and kena tutup mulut okeh ;))

I signed up to organise as a programmer for an orientation camp... Turns out I become the Head programmer for an orientation camp IN RAMADHAN. Tak ke sungguh challenging tu? InsyaAllah boleh... kott?

Anyway, for those awaiting updates about pesantren & Teenz Camp. Hold on eh.... Still in process/draft :)

Got this from Apex blog... :)

An Elite’s Credo (for all Muslim learners)

“To begin my every action with a niat,

To be able to define exactly what I want,

To be so strong that
nothing can disturb my peace of mind.

To wear a cheerful countenance, a tranquil smile,
and charm every living creature I meet.

To focus only on the best,
to ask questions for the best results and expect the best.

To rehearse and rehearse; improve and improve;
in a relentless pursuit of excellence.

To give so much time to the improvement of myself
that I have no time to criticize others.

To find something that I like in my friends,
say good words to them,
let them see themselves in the best light possible
and know that they are special.

To put behind the mistakes of the past and
press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger,
too brave for fear and too wise for vain talk.

Life’s victories don’t always go to the stronger
or the faster hand;
They go to the one who has faith in God;
has faith in himself;
has good conduct and always think ‘I can’.

It’s in the heart;
It’s all in a state of mind”.





I wanna help because I believe in the objective/purpose of this effort but I really doubt I can commit... Especially now that I'm contemplating on taking another part-time course... Need to weigh the importance of each, and see which is more...

A good reminder... As copied from sis Mahirah's notes on fb.

Fear of Poverty

Al-Baqarah (The Cow) Sura 2: Verse 268 (partial)

"Satan threatens you with poverty and he commands you to immorality. But God promises you His forgiveness and bounty."



One of Satan's tactics is to keep people so occupied with the fear of losing their wealth they end up desperately clinging to their money and depriving the needy - and themselves - of the goodness of giving for the sake of God. A person under the spell of irrational fear is more vulnerable to transgress laws, even to the point of indulging in lewdness, for the purpose of gaining profit and wealth.

The cure for fear of poverty is to have a good opinion of God. People who harbour good thoughts about their Provider deflect insidious whisperings about Him and the subtle provocations that create irrational fear. His dominion is never diminished in the least when He gives to His creation all that they need.

Compiled From:
"Purification of the Heart" - Hamza Yusuf, pp. 53, 54


Taking Initiative

One day, close to noontime, while the Prophet (peace be upon him) was sitting and conferring with his Companions, a group of desert dwellers approached. Their purpose was none other than to represent their people to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and declare their faith in Islam. It was obvious from their appearance that they travelled a long way and that their journey had been a hard one. They had no shoes on their feet. Their clothes were scant and threadbare, and amounted to nothing more than scraps of bound cloth. They had no possessions with them and were starving.

The Prophet's face became strained with sorrow and concern. He looked at them with compassion. Then he stood up, turned and went into his house. After a while, he returned and instructed Bilal to call the people to prayer. Then the Prophet led the Muslims in the Noon Prayer.

Afterwards, he stood at the pulpit and recited verses of the Quran which exhort to goodwill and charity. Then he said: "A man should donate some of his gold or silver, or a container of flour, or a container of dates…" until he finally appealed "…or even if but half a date." In this way, he encouraged all the Muslims to give what they could.

He then took his seat and waited for his Companions to help out their brothers who had come to them in such straitened circumstances. No one acted immediately. The minutes of inaction seemed long and heavy. The Prophet's displeasure with such a response could be seen on his face.

Then a man from the natives of Madinah came forward with a large purse full of silver so big he was barely able to carry it in both his hands. He said: "Messenger of Allah! This is for the sake of Allah."

By taking the initiative, he broke the heavy spell of silence and inactivity, for right then, Abu Bakr stood up and made a donation. Then Umar came forward with charity. Then everyone came forward with what they could give of food, clothing, and money. The Prophet's face shone with joy as he looked at the pile of food and clothing that had been placed before him.

However, his attention was drawn more strongly to that man who had been the first to give and in doing so broke the impasse of hesitation.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) then said: "Whoever sets a good precedent in Islam will have the blessing for doing so as well as the blessing for everyone who acts upon it thereafter, without their blessings being diminished in the least. And whoever sets an evil precedent in Islam will have the sin for doing so as well as the sin of everyone who acts upon it thereafter, without their sis being diminished in the least." [Sahih Muslim: (1017)]



We can see the effect the native of Madinah had on everyone else by his taking the initiative and bringing that bag of silver to the Prophet (peace be upon him). We also learn from the story that we do not have to be famous celebrities or prominent people for our initiative to count. We do not even know the name of the man who brought the first bag of silver. All we know is that he was a native of Madinah. Nevertheless, he set a precedent that was immediately followed by the two most eminent citizens of the Muslim community – Abu Bakr and Umar.

Therefore, we should never feel that we are too unimportant or insignificant to set a public example. In fact, taking the initiative is often what makes people successful. If we look at the lives of great leaders, people of influence, and reformers, we find that those lives are a series of positive initiatives. This is how they became so influential, and this is why they were able to have an enduring legacy.

Compiled From:
"Setting an Example of Piety" - Abd al-Wahhâb al-Turayrî


Spiritual Development

The objectives of spiritual development are:

Creating an awareness of self and of God, and an understanding of the meaning and purpose of life.


Creating a yearning for communion with God (dua), turning to Him constantly (tawba) and desiring to worship and serve Him alone (ibada).


Developing a deep sense of gratitude (shukr) to God for all His blessings and mercy, and an inner devotion and humbleness (khushu).


Creating a higher and noble vision; raising oneself above the self and material things.
Creating a compassionate, merciful and soft heart for other people; a deep desire to support and care for others.


Controlling negative emotions and feelings (for example, arrogance greed, selfishness, envy, etc.) that harden and corrupt the soul, character and conduct.



Compiled From:
"Building a New Society" - Zahid Parvez, p. 218

Grade Grade Academic
Point Unit(s)
Core Courses
AAB101 Biodiversity in Natural Ecosystems B 3.50 3.0
AAB103 General Microbiology A- 4.50 3.0
AAY101 General Chemistry B- 3.00 3.0
AAY102 Fundamentals of Physical Chemistry B 3.50 3.0
AED102 Educational Psychology I B- 3.00 3.0
AED105 Critical Perspectives in Education B- 3.00 2.0

Total No. of Academic Units Obtained : 17.0
Cumulative Grade Point Average : 3.44

Not the best of results I had been praying for, but alhamdulillah I passed all....

I'm like 4 days late in checking my results.

Come on Marliyana, let's do better next sem! For Allah and Rasulullah s.a.w. and Islam, your parents, yourself and your future students...

I'm tired, very very tired, physically. I spent more than half the day today sleeping, to regain whatever energy I've lost. I can't be sure that I'd regained my energy back, cos my whole body is aching everywhere from silat training yesterday! My shoulders, my back, my arms, my thighs.... There were signs that my tendonitis might act up again, so I quickly applied the Fastum gel on the tendon area at the back of my ankles. Sapuan is very dangerous, to me at least.

I learned alot during silat yesterday. I think because now my heart is in it, that's why. Learned shuffling, learned more combos to earn points quickly, IF the opponent is not quick enough. I need to be more lightfooted, and be quick in planning and executing combos. Practice makes perfect!

And... I'd be missing 2-3 silat sessions next week and the following week. :(

But I'll be elsewhere learning other things. Not that I'll be having jolly good time. I'll be at... Persantren Kilat, organised by MHDS. I feel reluctant telling people I'm attending this, when they ask why I'd be away next week. Perhaps because of the different kinds of responses I got. It's a wide range of responses from very positive to very negative. 0_o

I have people who almost jumped up and down shouting, "You get to go?! Wah, bestnyer! I love the Ustaz! Ustaz best! Camp pon mesti best. But I can't go, my mum say the duration is too long..."

I have people who looked calm but said, "I heard it's very good. More on the 'intellectual' side, but good nevertheless."

I have people who looked indifferent and say, "Oh ok. I'm not sure I can go... see how."

I have people who went, "Alar... Kau pergi persantren ni kau takbleh join kitorang seh..."

I have people who exclaimed, "Hah??? Why are you wasting your money?"

I also have people laughing at me and asking, "Why are you going there at all?"

Well.... I'm confused. But yeah, just from this experience, you can see how people differ so much from each other. Primarily due to the principles/beliefs that they hold on to, the experiences that they've had, the knowledge that they've obtained and such. These responses just reminded me that I have so many different kinds of people surrounding me, and I have to mind how I am with them such that I don't offend them, yet still being myself such that I'm not a hypocrite. It really does boil down to the principles that I myself hold on to, the experience that I myself have had, and the knowledge that I myself had obtained. Right now, really I am confused. I have no idea how to react. So I just smile and nod. it's kind of a reflex action nowadays :S

What I know is that, ever since I heard Far'ain attending persantren and reading about persantren in Musafir Cinta, I'd been superbly curious what is it. I was ready to go to Indonesia to experience it, and I was ready to face whatever goes on in a persantren, JUST IN CASE it goes against my principles/belief system. However, I never did find out a reliable source for a persantren. Besides I have no idea how to tell my parents I'd be disappearing to some part of Indonesia for some religious thing that they've never heard (they don't know what is a persantren, even now I think) for like more than a week alone.

I did bring this up to my mum, referring to the persantren as some kind of short-term madrasah, and she allowed if I go with a sister.

Then... I heard about Persantren Kilat on facebook. And straightaway I signed up for it. Without even telling my parents first (but since it's in Singapore, I knew they should be ok with it, especially if I pay on my own, and I don't miss my madrasah --> penting youuu. they're used to me telling them last minute that I have an upcoming camp at this place, from what day to what day, and I'm going with so and so. I only ask for permission if it's overseas.)

Nevertheless I was worried. (Always first on my worry list is the sanitary condition of the place, but I'd been to the mosque once and I liked it, so it wasn't firstr on my worry list this time, except to wonder how I'd share that 4 cubicles or so with about 50 other sisters, since they're targetting 100 pax in total.) I was worried that I'm the oldest, that I'd find it a bore to go through the ta'alim/classes, that I'm alone (since none of my friends seem to be going, and most of the participnts that replied to the facebook invite seems to know each other through previous MHDS activities), that I'd be too tired to go through everything (I'd never been to a camp 7 days long! Normally, at the end of a 3-day camp, I'd spend the whole of the next day sleeping. I tire easily. Partly the reason why I take hostel...) Then the initial worry about the persantren having activities against my principles also started to settle in, knowing that I still lack the knowledge to truly differentiate from what is right and what is wrong.

Now that it is roughly only 12hrs away from the camp, I don't know what to think about.

What I'm really thinking about right now is that I've yet to pack my bag, yet to finish studying for my Arab exams this Sunday, yet to do the GESL reflections due end of the year, yet to alot of other outstanding tasks larh!

And I'd be missing silat... and fatayaats usrah, and fatayaats gathering and tathmin mibarrat... :( I'm giving up alot eh for this persantren... I really hope that I shall become a better Muslimah at the end of 7 days. That I'd somehow be a more disciplined, healthier Muslimah, with more friends, more experiences, more knowledge... all in the hope of achieving the main purpose of my journey here on earth. Mardhatillah... InsyaAllah. This shall be my niat. Niat is the spark. Niat determines the deed. Yet a good niat does not make a bad approach good... A reminder to myself, and everyone else.

I'm afraid I'd have to tanding for the tri-uni friendlies on 4th Jan @ SMU... High probability that I'd be chosen, considering that I seem to be the only freshie in Class B (overweight! overweight! need to watch it!) and I attended Tuesday's and yesterday's training.... scared scared scared!

Till then, I'm scared of my NIE results, and my new sem's timetable. *groans*

I should go pray, eat, iron clothes, pack bag, read Arab notes and sleeeeeeep 'early'.

Good night and have a nice week ahead!

P.S. Thanks Jun for the ride home yesterday. It feels exhiliratingly good on a bike :D
P.S.S. I watched Avatar at the movies just now. Liked it. Except for the foreign language, the violence, the Eywa rituals and belief system and the... ahem. (Teringat Ust Noor nye talk during NEMC qiyam about media...). But still, guess it's a nice alternative after watching New Moon. You may wanna skip the 3D, unless you're watching on the biggest screen. A small screen doesn't make much difference, except for the no. of bucks left in your pocket, hehe.

Yesterday there was no moon. So I suppose tonight the new moon should be appearing. Afterall it's gonna be 1st muharram, signifying the start of the new year in the Islamic calendar at sunset, Maghrib today. And in less than 15 days, we'll meet the new year in the Masihi calendar. What calendar is the standard one? Gregorian izzit?

I've yet to reflect (specific word: muhasabah). I'd been having too much fun. Marl, Marl...

Take a look at this!

List of Claimable Items

Table 3 below shows the list of claimable items under LDS.
Table 3:
Broad Category Examples

Personal Development Courses
• Foreign Language courses
• IT courses
• Conference, seminars & motivational talks
• Courses on pedagogy, instruction and personal effectiveness
• Courses related to the teacher’s field of work e.g. Music courses for music teachers.
• Courses for activities that are existing CCAs or a new CCA that may be introduced in the school, e.g. tennis, aikido

Subscriptions to Professional Magazines & Periodicals
• National Geographic
• The Economist
• Newspapers
• Reader’s Digest, New Scientist, Times Magazine

Personal Productivity Devices
• Computers/Laptops
• PDAs
• Software which would aid teachers in their teaching capacity
• Internet connection, installation, subscription, related software/hardware and renewal fees etc
• Computer peripherals and components such as printer, thumbdrive, hard drive, scanner, etc
• Digital camera and accessories (e.g. memory card for camera, spare proprietary battery for digital camera etc)
• Video camera
• Electronic dictionary

Membership/entrance fees/subscriptions to professional Bodies & Societies • Academy of Principals subscription
• Membership to Borders, Kinokuniya or other educational bookstores

Enhancement of Cultural Awareness
• Exhibitions
• Plays/musicals

Reading materials
• Textbooks/assessments/reference books related to teacher’s field of work
• Self-improvement books
• Novels/non-fiction books

Educational Learning#
• Visit to zoo, birdpark, museum etc
• Learning journey
• Conservatory visits

Exchange Programmes#
• Teacher Work Attachment programmes
• Airfare/Expenses Incurred when attending conference related to teaching if there are no sponsorship involved.

# Schools should not ask officers to use their own LDS to pay for school trips as the LDS is intended for individual use and there are other sources of funding for these trips.

Currently for my camera ngah payment processing (eventhough I submitted the claim under the wrong category. Should be 'Personal Productivity Devices' but I put under 'Educational Learning' instead. Oh well.

Am gonna submit claim for Science Centre visit with Mahmudah & Harizah recently ;)

Enjoy eh Marliyana. Hopefully I get good results. It's my responsibility (more specific: amanah) to do so.

Teachers, don't complain. Just give your best and be happy for the benefits you get for being one.

Now I remember who was the doctor I consulted with at polyclinic just now! No wonder his name on the door rang a bell, I just read an article about him recently! Like what, less than 10 days ago?! Here!

So anyway, I reached the polyclinic at around 3.30pm and was asked to see a general practitioner first. Asked for a female doctor, none was available. Happened that I got a male malay doctor. Oh well. (SEE SEE I TOLD YOU THERE'S SO FEW FEMALE MALAY DOCTORS! That's why I wanted to be one, but hajat tak kesampaian, turns out I have a different path waiting for me...) When I reached his door, I saw the name and thought that it sounds familiar but I couldn't put a finger to it.

When I went in the see him, he looked so Chinese and asked in English that I ended up talking English to him, until he talked abit of Malay that I was convinced he's Malay afterall haha.

So anyway, he took a look at my previous medical history (I am a polyclinic kid inside out since young, no family doctors for my family cos my dad worked in the police force and we had medical benefits from polyclinic, and now's my turn to work for the government so yeah) and commented, "you're quite terror huh, so many injuries in the past". LOL, I was literally racking my brain what kind of injuries had I sustained before this, other than a recurring achilles tendonitis??? Then he asked when and how did I get my finger hurt (at this point, I already felt super silly for seeing a doctor for something as minor as an almost-immobilised finger, but I WAS REALLY WORRIED it could be a fracture and boo hoo if I'd have to learn to write with my left hand!) so I told him uh, got hurt during silat yesterday when my friend kicked my hand, and he was like, "woah silat, no wonder so many injuries." right now I'm wondering if he had the correct list of medical history, cause until now I don't remember any serious injuries!!! No broken bones or fractured bones or bad swelling or edema or lost a tooth and such whatttt...

But anyway, I told him uh those past injuries (while still wondering what those past injuries were he referring to) were not due to silat. Then he went on to ask if I was in national team (gosh no, I'm still very much an amateur! 3 months of training, 1 time tanding only ehhhh), which school's team am I in etc. He was surprised to hear NTU has silat. Erm? But he went on to ask if I know this guy, I'd forgotten the name already, who oversees silat from NUS/NTU or something like that... I just went blank. Didn't expect to be talking so much to a doctor haha. He's a friendly doctor, making his patients at ease.

I think the only reason why my medical history is made up of injuries instead of cold/flu or fever and such is because I don't see a doctor for cold/flu or fever. who needs a doctor telling you you have a fever when you obviously know you have a fever?? Just get plenty of rest at home, and don't spread it, in the case of cold/flu.

I took some painkillers, not that I'm gonna eat them... Just that I feel silly for spending like less than 1/2hr at the polyclinic for nothing. I'd only eat the painkiller if it's unbearable, which I doubt it would. Kinda immune to it already after spending one whole day having my pain receptors around the sprained (that's the only thing I say why there's pain) area transmitting pain signals to my brain. I can feel the stretch from my finger joint all the way up my right arm. But he said there's no fracture, means no fracture lor. I can straighten my finger, i just can't bend it, meaning I can't ball my right hand into a fist, or hold a pen properly (I haven't tried though), or eat with my hands, or type as usual etc... He just ask to put ice on it...

I can remember how painful and numb my hand felt after Mir kicked it yesterday. I couldn't pasang cos I couldn't feel where my hand/finger was! And my hands shook extra hard after the hit. Yet everyone must have thought that I'm such a ninny for reacting to such a minor injury, if they'd even call it an injury. But really ah, I didn't know how to react! Tell me how would you react if, no matter how much you want to continue the fight, you can't feel your hand cause it's in pain???

Speaking of reaction, the doctor said if it was a fracture (cos initially he did say he felt a gap along my bones, though err, that turns out to be a natural gap I have on both hands), the reflex action would be me hitting him already when he presses on the bone. Kau, drama seh. As much as I was in drama (which Mir finds it surprising. Mir calls me "unexpected". Silat, drama, motorbike. So unlike me, yet... haha) I wouldn't do that seh. At most I'd wince and tears sprout out of my tear ducts. Or worst case scenario, jerk my hand back and scream. Takdelah sampai pukul dia kan!

Oh, I've gotten my sleeping bag ($8.99 only!!!) and insect repellent. And a few other 'unnecessary stuffs' which mounts up to $52 plus. Aiyo... My mum spent more today. Finally she got her steam iron that you iron vertically, induction plate/hotplate and a mini ricecooker (for days only two people in the household are eating). I was tempted to buy this portable mini-stove. $30 plus only, but I think we can't cook IN our hostel rooms, so what's the point of buying...

Kk, gtg, meeting Nazihah soon, and bro Hamid's family, including little Sakinah! I've bought something for her. Have I ever said how enjoyable it is to look through baby stuff? :D

Oh, did I mention I hit my head TWICE on a low railing while trying the white satin jubah, almost slipped outside the toilet at bugis, tripped on the side of the pavement at Orchard, but luckily no sprain, and tripped on a slight raise in the cement while walking to late dinner.

I don't need silat to give me bruises and sprains haha.

And I can't forget hitting my head against the big red hose box during DRP (from archives). Haha, baru aku sedar betapa clumsy nye aku... Maybe it comes with being short. People who are tall would hit their arms against a low railing, only short people like me would hit their heads.

But being short, and not so plump, gives you an advantage with agility. Hope to make use of that in silat. Gotta practice footwork. I concentrate too much on attacking and defending I don't think about where I land my feet and move around.

I hadn't been listening to music the past few days, unless it happens to be on radio in the car or on tv that I wasn't intentionally listening to. No Windows Media Player, no imeem, no youtube, no MP3. No Twilight songs, no nasyids.

I'm missing Twilight, but I've survived many days without it.

Anyway, my pointing finger on my right hand hurts when I move it. Wonder if there's a fracture or muscle tear or something. Gonna go see the doctor after their lunch time I guess. Better get it checked. I thought of visiting the dentist as well, but I don't think I have time. Cos I still need to find my sleeping back, insect repellent and torchlight, which means I need a trip down to Giant...

So, how did I get a painful finger, and a bruised shin, and aching buttocks and back and such? Silat.

Had silat training yesterday after about a month of no trainings due to exams. I thought it's gonna be a refresher course. Yes it was, and more! We did new things like group kicking (it's harder if you're holding the padding than kicking, sakit la woi kena attack continuously for 10x3 kicks), practicing defense to spontaneous attacks in pairs (I enjoyed Shaza's mentoring, I learned alot! the most since I joined silat I think. Cos she was able to pinpoint my mistake AND suggest how I can improve, which I did my best to. And she gave constant words of encouragement that kept me motivated and wanting to give my best one round after another, trying to be better each round.), wearing the vest (I felt like ninja turtle. comfortable uh, perhaps cos I didn't get super hard kicks from opponents yet), leaarning the point system (interesting! SEA games ade silat? nak tengok!) and of course a taste of how tanding is like (coach put me against Mir who is much taller, bigger and stronger than myself, and Syaza whom I had practiced with. Menggeletar gilerh eh tangan bila pasang, and continue to menggeletar badly after training ends. Mir accidentally kicked my finger, tulah sakit ni. and she masuk & angkat me after grabbing my leg during a kick effortlessly and landed me on the ground.) I can't wait for the next practice for tanding! The adrenaline rush is superb! Even if it left me breathless halfway (dah lama my heart didn't need to work too hard to send oxygen to all my muscles). Just before training I told Mir I may be quitting ilat next year, which I really was planning to. But now, maybe not! Silat gerek la seh! It makes you on guard at all times always anticipating attacks and how to defend, at the same time thinking of combos to successfully attack your opponents vest. It is a physical and mental art and sports. Woo hoo! Hmm, that reminds me, I need socks with friction soles to wear for silat, and black indonesian tudungs for safety purposes, yet maintaining aurat.

Oh what makes yesterday such a great day was: I got to go shopping!!! I spent like $150-$200 yesterday, spending at Tampines, Geylang & Bugis. I went Orchard as well, but we couldn't find a suitable present for my eldest bro, so we ended up eating late lunch there only.

Let's see, I bought 4 pairs of socks, 3 trackpants, shampoo, conditioner, 2 Glade scented gel, hairband, 2 pyjamas, 2 bandanna, 2 jubah, 1 kurta, 2 tudung, 4 sarung tangan and 3 shawls, woo hoo! Best shopping sakan ;) Plus the two shoes I bought previously, I'm complete from head to toe :P I'd wanted to buy face towel, a small sling bag, a skirt and another shawl, and my parents urged me to, but I felt that they weren't as necessary. My dad event urged me to buy this $99, after discount, checkered shirt from Levis, but I don't think that is at all necessary. Most of the things I bought are to prepare myself to go on a camping spree for 9 days straight, afterwhich I'd dump them at hall. Hmm, I still need my sleeping bag, insect repellent and torchlight. And mind you, I'm still eyeing a Samsung phone!

Of all the things I bought, my favourite is the white satin jubah. I'd always wanted something white, but can never find one that is not jarang, until... yesterday. :D Initially I thought it was too expensive. $59 for a plain white jubah with a bit of sequins on the waistline. I walked around the pasar Geylang somemore until it was time to get back to the car, that I thought, ok why don't we try asking for discount. I'll buy if she gives discount to $45. Turns out, she gave until $40!!!! According to her, because it is white, she can give at a cheaper price. And she thought I was going umrah, I wish. But the jubah simply makes me so happy! This is the second time I bought a jubah from her shop. I very much liked my first fairy-tale-jungle-like green and red jubah which I wore for raya, and now this white jubah. I'd love to visit her shop again the next time extra rezeki comes my way.

The skirt was very nice. My mum would love to see me wear skirt. Truthfully, myself too. But I find wearing skirt so leceh. Cos, I'd still wear pants underneath, so it kinds of defeat the whole purpose of the skirt. Besides my mum ends up saying I look like minah Malaysia wearing skirt with knee-length shirts, but I've dumped my short shirts!

Ok, my finger is hurtinggggg, and I should be on my way to the doctor now actually hehe.

Oh after silat yesterday, Mir's mum drove me home. But we stopped at Woodlands for awhile, supposedly to give Mir's bro some cash for his retreat to Johor with cousins, ended up I followed them to have dinner at Rasa Rasa. I envy how close they are with their cousins. So fun. I used to be close to my cousins, but somehow or rather, after we started sch, we started seeing each other less until it's like once, or twice, a year kinda affair.

I should really be going. Hopefully I get to go Giant today. And hopefully my finger is just slightly sprained, no fractuer or anything. I wanna tanding somemore!!!

Thank you Allah for a really good day yesterday. Please make today better than yesterday, and tomorrow better than today and so on :)

Alhamdulillah, I am able to access the claims page at pac@gov! Must use internet explorer larh... Mozilla cannot... Finally, the balance $300+ won't go to waste... I still have $27 more to spend and claim for. Hmmm....

Anyway, just sent Harizah off to Laos at Terminal 1 just now. Awww, wish I could be on the plane/in transit @ KL with her now... My heart breaks listening to myself say I may not be going to Australia next year afterall... Padahal my parents dah bagi!!!!

Marliyana ada banyak cerita niari. Marliyana tak tau nak mula dari mana. Random k.

Marliyana lapar. satu hari cuma makan kuih belanda (yang biscuit roll tu), nasi minyak pat jemputan tengahari tadi dan 1 roti sardine bersalut telur. Tapi kat rumah tinggal maggi je and Marliyana ngah pikir banyak-banyak kali pasal MSG dalam maggi. Marliyana taknak jadi bodoh. Marliyana suka jadi pandai.

Marliyana niari bangun awal. Pukul 2 pagi bangun belajar Tafsir, pukul 4 tertido, pukul 5 bangun balik, pukul 6 tertido, pukul 7 bangun balik. Alhamdulillah dapat habis 90% ulangkaji, tapi bila duduk untuk exam tu cam tak tahu cammane nak apply. Lagi-lagi kertas 2, closed book, dia mintak hukum yang rajih (ni ok jugak) berserta hujjah-hujjah ulama'-ulama'! Nama ulama' semua dah mixed up, apa tak nye ada agaknya 20-30 hukum. Nak hafal ayat-ayat Qur'an & hadith-hadith tak kesampaian, jadi exam tu tulis ajelah sehampir mungkin dengan dall-dalil yang ingat. Tak exact words.

Exam tafsir tu kat Jurong West, dekat dengan NTU/NIE. Lepas kertas 1, Marliyana langsung mulakan Kertas 2, tanpa rehat 1/2 jam seperti lazimnya sebab Marliyana nak cepat. Lepas Kertas 2, Marliyana singgah asrama jap, pastu ikut parents gi jemputan kat Chai Chee. Pat jemputan ada kawan dari masjid istighfar, kenal dari ITQAN & qiyam pat En-Naeem kelmarin, jadi kendarat. Tapi tengok dia, dia buat bodoh, takde wajah untuk menunjukkan dia recognise Marliyana pon, jadi Marliyana pon buat bodoh ah. Makanan pat jemputan tu sedap, rasanya sama caterer dengan caterer untuk majlis makcik Marliyana minggu lalu. Creative kalau tak silp. Gitu lah namanya.

Lepas Zohor, Marliyana gi madrasah pat Tampines pulak, untuk Kertas Kepimpinan Dalam Islam. Marliyana rasa Kertas 1 okeh, tapi sebahagian daripada Kertas 2 susah sangat. Marliyana main hentam aje.

Lagi 5-10 minit nak tamat peperiksaan, Marliyana hantar kertas sebab dah tak boleh fiir lagi. Marliyana jumpa parents pat Afghanistan, minum bandung dalam beberapa teguk sahaja terus jalan-jalan sikit ngan mak. Baju-baju dekat daerah situ lawa-lawa, dan walaupun rasa perlu untuk beli baju baru, Marliyana tak beli sebab tak bawak duit lebih, dan malas nak withdraw. At last, mak Marliyana belanja beli 2 pyjamas, sebab pyjamas yang ada dah tinggalkan kat asrama. $6 kat lelong, murah lah tu.

Malam, Marliyana ikut mak dan makcik Marliyana jalan-jalan kat Tampines. Nak katakan shopping, boleh jugak arh. Marliyana beli 2 kasut & 1 seluar tracks. Memang dah lama nak beli kasut, untuk pakaian semi-formal kat sekolah & untuk bila pakai jubah (tak senonoh gitu pakai jubah abistu pakai kasut $6.90 yang mak label sebagai 'kasut nyonya' yang Marliyana biasa pakai tu), jadi bila ada kasut semurah $10.80 & $15.90, Marliyana belilah.

Itu je kejadian hari ni sebenarnya...

Tapi adalah hal-hal lain. Marliyana masih memikirkan tentang apa yang Marliyana 'belajar' Jumaat & Sabtu lalu. Walaupun Marliyana belum dapat menerima semuanya dan memberikan kata akhir, sekurang-kurangnya, Marliyana rasa Marliyana dah mempunyai suatu pendirian yang sesuai buat masa ni, supaya tak terlalu stress fikirkan ni.

Marliyana rasa Marliyana banyak stress kebelakangan ni. Sebab asyik pening-pening kepala macam migraine. Nak jumpa doktor macam tak perlu, tapi takut jugak kalau ada apa-apa tak kena. Semoga dijauhkan sebarang penyakit dan musibah. Amin. Lebih-lebih lagi Marliyana baru-baru ni dengar cerita ada orang sakit-sakit kepala, rupanya darah tinggi sampai satu hari tahap tekanan darahnya terlalu tinggi sehingga urat dalam otak pecah menyebabkan stroke sebelah badan dan kehilangan kebolehan untuk berkata-kata.

Oh, kelmarin bila Marliyana pergi Body Worlds, Science Centre & Imax Theatre dengan Harizah & Mahmudah, case kamera Marliyana hilang. Dah cari & dah laporkan, sekarang Marliyana redha & tawakkal sahaja. Mudah-mudahan Marliyana dapat balik, tapi kalau tak, mungkin Allah akan gantikan dengan yang lebih baik... Cuma, kalau Marliyana hilang kebolehan untuk menggerakkan setengah badan atau untuk bercakap, tu Marliyana tak pasti jikalau Marliyana dapat redha & tawakkal. Mudah-mudahan dijauhkan musibah seperti itu...

Tadi petang, ada kawan tu sms Marliyana, tapi mungkin cara Marliyana kurang menyenangkan hati, Marliyana rasa dia merajuk dengan Marliyana. Marliyana tak tau apa nak buat. Marliyana tak pandai nak pujuk orang, lebih-lebih lagi melalui sms. Nak call, Marliyana macam takut pulak kalau dia marah dengan Marliyana. Jadi Marliyana buat bodoh. Serba salah pulak rasanya. Tapi Marliyana benar-benar ada hal Selasa malam ni... Memang boleh skip, tapi... entah. sememangnya Marliyana serba salah.

Besok malam kawan Marliyana nak pergi Laos, bukan untuk Sea Games, tapi untuk buat kebajikan. Marliyana rasa Marliyana nak hantar dia sampai airport. Marliyana suka jalan-jalan kat airport sebenarnya. Marliyana rindu sangat nak naik kapal terbang... tapi...

Parents Marliyana dah benarkan Marliyana bercuti dengan kawan sepanjang dua minggu ke Australia bulan Jun depan. Marliyana pon dah bilang kawan Marliyana tu. Sekali, bila belajar untuk exam Tafsir tadi, Marliyana terlintas dengan suatu hadith, tak pasti riwayat siapa, dan samada ia sahih atau tidak, tapi Marliyana yakin Ustaz cuma menggunakan yang sahih sahaja untuk menyokong hukum-hukum yang disebut dalam nota tu. Sabda Rasulullah s.a.w.: "seorang wanita tidak dibolehkan keluar bermusafir lebih dari tiga hari kecuali ada bersamanya mahramnya." Marliyana yakin parents & abang-abang Marliyana taknak (atau tak mampu, maklumlah bujang nak kahwin...) pergi Australia. Jadi, rasanya Marlliyana terpaksalah batalkan nist nak kesana, melainkan pada masa tu Marliyana dah ada suami, dan kemungkinan ini rasanya amat tidak berkemungkinan langsung... Tengoklah macam mana... Kalau ada rezeki dan telah ditetapkan Marliyana akan dapat jejak Australia, maka suatu hari nanti Marliyana akan jejak juga. Lagipun keluarga Marliyana sedang menghadapi sedikit kesempitan wang jugak, jadi... yelah...

Tapi Marliyana sedih jugaklah. Dah ghairah sungguh... Mungkin nanti Marliyana cari lebih lanjut pasal hadith tadi kott. Niat Marliyana nak pergi Australia pun, selain untuk 'lari daripada dunia Singapura 24/7' adalah untuk menziarahi Umairah untuk melihat keadaan belia-belia Muslim disana, dan untuk mengalami melihat kangaroo yang bermacam-macam jenis di sana sini serta mengalami snow, kalau berkesempatan.... Takpelah, Marliyana simpan niat tu baik-baik okeh.

Tadi semasa nak berjalan ke majlis jemputan, Marliyana nampak motor (vespa agaknya) warna pink yang comel dan lawa sekali. Bila Marliyana tunjuk mak Marliyana, mak Marliyana setuju ia cantik, dan lebih penting lagi, mak Marliyana setuju kos motor lebih murah, dan ia lebih laju maka ia merupakan sesuatu yang praktikal bagi seorang pelajar. Mak Marliyana nampak ok aje kalau Marliyana nak amek lesen motor. Kalau ye betul Marliyana cekal hati untuk dapatkan lesen motor, Marliyana nak dapat sebelum Ogos tahun depan, jadi bila Marliyana masuk tahun kedua, Marliyana tak perlu sewa asrama lagi, dan kos asrama serta kos makan minum dan tambang bas dan sebagainya dapat disalurkan untuk membayar harga motor dan minyak. Yang membuat Marliyana teragak-agak ialah Marliyana rasa malu nak belajar motor, memandangkan yang belajar motor kebanyakannya lelaki... Marliyana tak selesalah nak langkah naik motor semua depan lelaki...

Marliyana singgah kedai singtel & Starhub tadi. Marliyana amat tertarik dengan telefon bimbit Samsung Preston, Samsung Jet & Samsung Omnia II. marliyana sebenarnya dah sediakan wang untuk untuk hp baru, tapi cuma Marliyana malu nak tanya-tanya harga dekat kedai. Lebih-lebih lagi kalau tukang jual tu jenis yang tak kuasa nak layan orang. Maklumlah orang ramai beli i-phone, Marliyana tak pandang pon telefon tu. Bila malu, Marliyana gagap & teragak-agak nak berbual, sampai salesperson tu pon tak paham apa Marliyana nak. Yang Marliyana dapat tahu tadi, Singtel kira mengikut per minute billing, dan Samsung Preston berharga $48 dengan student plan...

Kelmarin Marliyana berasa ghairah tentang Persantren Kilat. Marliyana yakin sangat ia mungkin merupakan sesuatu yang dapat mendidik dan merubah Marliyana menjadi lebih berdisiplin sebagai seorang Muslimah dalam amalan-amalan harian. Marliyana pon dengar feedback yang positif dari Mahmudah. Tapi lepas Marliyana dapat ketahui lebih lanjut, Marliyana jadi kurang pasti pulak. Mudah-mudahan niat Marliyana yang asalnya tercapai, disamping mendapatkan pengalaman baru...

Marliyana rasa Marliyana dah tahu kenapa Marliyana bersikap sangat temperamental kebelakangan ini, dan Marliyana semacam tidak boleh mengawal perasaan marah atau irritated. Bukan sebab Marliyana rebellious. Marliyana cuma kehilangan kesabaran terhadap setiap yang berlaku. Marliyana perlu lebih relekskan diri dan minda supaya tidak terlalu wound-up... Ya Allah, berikanlah aku kesabaran...

Marliyana tak tau kenapa alih-alih Marliyana blog sebegini. Marliyana memang rasa lain semacam gitu, tapi tak apalah. Marliyana dah ngantok. Dah lebih satu jam Marliyana taip. Marliyana nak tido. Marliyana dah penat berfikir. Marliyana nak shut-down buat beberapa jam...

Eh, listen listen, I like this: I'm not ready to be a good wife unless you're willing to be patient enough to teach me to be one.

Haha.

K.

I zoinked out for half the day yesterday. Opps. Two more topics to cover for Tafsir, 5 more for Kepimpinan. No good no good...

I came across a number of posts in my archive which attracted my attention. The early 2008 posts click here doesn't sound lie it was written by me!

Anyway, I'd had a mind-boggling Friday night and Saturday morning. InsyaAllah I'll share abit later on. For now, I need to sort out my mind first. Info overload!!! It's alot to think about, because it's between what is right and what is wrong... Something that may sound 'crystal clear and distinct' yet may be subjective... We'll see how things go...

My mum: Dari tadi aku tengok kau makaaaaaan je (You've been eating since just now)
Yours truly: Abe duduk rumah (That's what I do at home)
My mum: Tak makan tido, tak tido makan (If you're not eating, you'd be sleeoing, and vice versa)
Yours truly: Ah gitu la (That's how it goes)

I sound like a pig... This is why... I prefer to go out! Haha.

But I've got alot to deal at home anyway. Cleo's done. Minutes done. Studying time!

Or lunch/nap first eh? Hehehe ;)

It's been quite awhile since I last cried reading a book (Lurlene MacDaniel's books used to make me cry profusely... And Mitch Albom's 'Tuesdays With Morrie'. Though 'For One More Day' hardly made me tear a little. I can't remember other books.) and Cleo did. Not profusely. But it left a fist-in-a-throat kinda feeling. The book's great, with great philosophical views and quotes. It helps to heal in a certain way. Though I don't really enjoy Helen Brown's style of writing...

Really, one day I hope to write a book. It may not be published. I just want to feel a sense of satisfaction on finishing up a manuscript. It certainly wouldn't be an academic book, unless somehow I get forced into it, for whatever reason that may be! Whether it'd be a real story or a fiction, I haven't decided. But certain themes I would try to include would probably be religion (Muslim) and love (in its own definition). And it'd be interesting to set it in Singapore.

Did you know two young girls, 11 and 16 if I'm not mistaken won a writing competition and have their writings published recently. Each is sold at $8.90, exclusive of GST at Times and there was an autograph ceremony last Monday I think, or this coming Monday I'm not too sure. I might go and buy them. Though I'd like to read 'Tbhe Alchemist' by Paul Coelho & 'The Sister's Keeper' by Jodi Picoult first!

As the sore throat heals, first you get a scratchy voice with itchy throat that brings tears to your eyes, followed by a 'sengau' voice with lots of phlegm down your windpipe all the way up to the tip of your nose. Eew, but it's a process.

I'm halfway through the book 'Cleo'. It is taking much more time than needed for Twilight. I started on Monday evening... The story is emotional, with alot of comparisons to cat life interestingly put across, as well as insightful yet funny excerpts that makes you go "ya arh...", so it befuddles me as to why I'm taking so long to complete the book. I guess because I don't see where the book is going. First the author talks about the death of her son, then how the cat came, what happens when she got a new job bla bla bla... What can I say, it's a true life story... There's bound to be unexpected turns of events that you do not expect at all in the start. I thought the story would end when the cat has settled down in the house, since the title of the book is the name of the cat, but since when does life ends just because one issue is done? You seem to be facing one life issue after another (if not a couple of issues all at the same time), until death takes you away...

Anyway, finally Ust Fathurrahman replied my inquiry to sit for the exam I missed last year due to KRC when I decided to sms him. The paper is this Sunday! 8.30am @ Jurong West, very near NTU! And I haven't start studying at all! 2 papers of Tafsir Al-Qur'an 1, and then I have to travel back to Tampines for 2 papers of my Kepimpinan Dalam Islam module. One step done: to dig out my Tafsir notes (I seriously need better organisation in my room with regards to allllllll my poly, madrasah, Fityan, NI and whatnots papers... I need to catalogue them haha. It was a chore looking for my Cell Biology & Molecular Genetic notes in my box of poly notes as they're under the pile of Yr 2 & 3 notes, owwww.

I am very sensitive to cigarette smell. I hate it! It seems to choke around the neck and make your eyes bulge out. The taste that reaches your tongue is a very weird bitter-hacking-kind-of taste, bluek. At the time when there's still pillows and bolsters (and less eruptions of pimples on the face) I'd press my nose and mouth hard into one of them to keep out the cigarette smell as I use the comp in the living room. How glad I am that I've a laptop now and can confine myself in the room. Now, this is another reason I don't watch tv...

Hmmm.... For less fortunate people who don't have opportunities readily knocking on their door every few months, they go out and look for the opportunities. And so, wherever they are, they'd be thinking, "What's next?" and planning for it. I like to keep my options open. I like to know that there are options. Without options, it feels like I've reached a dead end. But I won't narrow down the options, until the time comes when it is absolutely necessary to do so. In a way, I simply wait for the wave to hit me and bring me where I'm 'meant' to be next, yet I like to keep a lookout for all the waves that are coming towards me, as far as I can see...

Yeah, as I was thinking about this, Fityan STC talked about it. What's next for STC? I'm not too interested since I'm still new to it, yet I like knowing there's somewhere to go next. I would be getting older year after year afterall, I can't be in a youth comm anymore, though I guess it's nice to stay involved in the youth scene. There's so much you can and need to do, still.

More importantly was the question to ponder upon, where do you see yourself in 3 years time? I dunno! Many many things can happen in 3 years. Just within 1 year, this year, I was in poly, doing SIP/MP, afterwhich I graduated, and then faced joblessness for awhile, before I started part-time work at Geylang East library and then like a big huge wave hitting me, I got carried to NIE. That's just the main skeleton, not to mention my days and weeks and months filled with different activities and... 'changes'. Changes in obsession, for one, haha. But I guess this year is like this because it's the crossroad... This 'eventful' year won't be repeating until about 8 years down the road when I finish my bond with NIE, and may not decide to continue. As I said, I like keeping my options open ;)

Ok, better be going. Have got lots to do before Maghrib~! Minutes and studying for exams mainly :P

Mak aku selalu pandang rendah pada diriku, selalu menyalahtafsiran perbuatan dan tindakanku, selalu bersangka buruk terhadap niatku.

Tak suka lah pagi-pagi membebel-bebel, lebih-lebih lagi takde ribut takde taufan, dan lebih-lebih lagi bila dah nak keluar...

Mak kata aku buang-buang duit, kata tu semua nak cari nama. Huh? Macam takde kaitan pon.

Mak suruh gi belajar kereta balik, padahal aku betul-betul belum bersedia. Lebih buang duit sebegitu kan?

Mak kata duit yang diketepikan untuk belajar kereta tu dah banyak terbuang pada benda lain. Padahal, sememangnya banyak terbuang dulu masa belajar kereta tu. Mungkin ade tinggallah lagi setengah agaknya. Masih ada lagi dalam account laaaah. Kalau ye pon, tu duit sebenarnya dari hadiah aku.

I had a bad experience with driving lessons, and I'm not ready to restart ok? Period.

I'm rather worried about my first sem results :s It shall determine how much hope I should continue to have....

Anyway, next sem I shall be taking the following modules:
AAB102 Cell Structure and Function
AAB104 Current Genetics
AAY103 Main Group Chemistry – Facts, Patterns and Principles
AAY104 Introductory Organic Chemistry
AED104 ICT for Engaged Learning
ALS101 Academic Discourse Skills

ALS sounds horrrrrrrrrrible!
Course Description



In this module, we explore and study the practice and conventions of reading and writing in an academic setting. We discuss some of the complex issues surrounding academic literacy, engage in the critical analysis of academic texts (both the ones we read and the ones we write), and look into how to produce the kinds of writing that are valued at the university.



Specifically, our focus will be on critical reading and writing in an academic context. So, we will look at what it means to be a critical reader – one who is able to evaluate and respond appropriately to academic texts and question prompts. And we will look at what it means to be a critical writer – one who is able to formulate workable research questions on his/her own, and who is able to use language purposefully and appropriately to accomplish specific rhetorical goals.

Objectives:
*introduce students to the conventions of academic reading and writing at the university, including the use of citations
*introduce students to the standards and practices of academic argument
*encourage students to formulate opinions about the academic texts they read and to express those opinions in writing
*encourage students to think of themselves as members of a specific academic discourse community
* introduce students to primary and secondary research methods
*equip students with the basic skills to carry out further independent investigations into the requirements / expectations of their specific academic disciplines

I really hope the timetable is friendly... You know, no classes starting at 8.30am or 9.30am, or ending at 6.30pm or 7.30pm... And sufficient break time to perform prayers would be perfect. An added bonus if there's a day I don't have classes, especially if it's a Monday or Friday ;)

I feel like quitting silat. I wanna join something new, yet something more 'me'. I don't know what to join... The thing is I need the CCA points to sustain my hall!

Going to Science Centre with Harizah & Mahmudah tmr. Gonna visit the Body World Exhibition & Omnimax Theatre...

Sore throat (which hurts super badly when I sneeze) for the past two days or so and a teeny bit of wheezing this morning... Luckily i can joyfully still swallow my food. I guess I deserve it. Need to account for some of my wrongdoings...

I feel like a hypocrite sometimes, you know... what comes out of my mouth is different from what I do. And i dislike that! Yet, what comes out of my mouth is still the truth. I don't really have another answer... Hmm...

La tahzan la tahzan. Jangan kamu bersikap lemah, dan janganlah pula kamu bersedih hati, Ali-Imran: 139

I'm not strong enough.

I wish to be a better Muslim, but some of my decisions and actions don't reflect so.

Some important lessons I learned from Twilight are self-control and choice. Of course, in a different context eh! But yeah, self-control and choice... And they're related too. How much self-control you have reflects on the choices you make...

Speaking of choices. My most recent facebook status is: Marliyana Mohd Noor has made the choice early, and i shall stick to it. InsyaAllah I have a purpose, and it will be beneficial. O Allah, please grant me strength to carry through with the choice I had made and to work towards being a better Muslim at the end.

Here I refer to three choices I'd made.

1) A smaller, yet nothing less significant nonetheless, decision to skip the Fityan retreat for the week-long Persantren Kilat from 19-25 Dec @ Masjid Pertempatan Melayu. I really hope that it would be a proper closure to this year, to make me strong enough and disciplined enough for next year. I find that this is more crucial and of higher priority than spending 3 days with my Fityan family, would would probably be beneficial too, though I'm not as sure of it's impact due to the duration, as well as my comfort zone. I need to be plunged out of my bubble, as Dr Jason Chang had put it (aww I miss him haha) when we left for SIP.

2) A choice I had made about 11 years ago. According to my mum, I had wanted to join madrasah(part-time), and I do remember something like my mum warning me that it wouldn't be easy to commit, asking if I am ready to sacrifice some of my time and see through it that I complete my madrasah education, and I had been prepared to multitask to gain the best of both worlds. I'd say I have gone a long way. My eldest brother reached Pri 6 and stopped, whereas my second brother stopped halfway. Myself? I started when I was in Pri 3, making me the oldest in my class in Permulaan at Ghufran last time. Then, since the mudirah was my aunt, I skipped Pri 1 to enter Pri 2 straightaway into a class with a few my age. I remember the joy of completing Pri 6. When I wanted to continue into secondary, my dad didn't see the point of it, yet I was prepared to pay the fees for Perdaus if I really have to. Of course, in the end my dad still paid my fees and textbooks for me, and even send and fetch me every Sunday from class. Now, I am in 2nd year of DPI @ Andalus. Truthfully, I complain alot. I am sacrificing my rest on a Sunday, plus $77.50 per month from my own pocket, since I started NIE. I need to remind myself that it is a choice I had made and have committed myself to. I was first reminded of this when I was given a choice to take up an Arabic course @ Zuhri on Saturdays for the next 2 years. I'm still contemplating...

3) The biggest, and rather, one of my worst worries: My choice to go through with NIE. 8 years is not a simple feat to swallow. I've yet to digest it properly. But I'm in, and there's no turning back. For this, I have a reason for choosing this choice, and I truly believe that I'm meant to be here, that there is a purpose I need to fulfill. InsyaAllah, I have been reminding myself this, and I shall continue to remind myself. I am scared, honestly. But since I'd taken the first step, really, I should just continue walking, if I can't run, or I should even crawl/drag myself if I have too.

This journey I have chosen (which is my life) is NOT gonna be easy, and so I ask Allah for the strength to carry on, to never give up, and to continue giving my best in whatever I do. (Though sometimes I feel so ashamed of asking Allah for anything, for i feel I do not deserve it, yet only to Him I pray, and only from Him I ask.... And He is Most Generous...)

Journey of purpose... During Fityan FLAP, we were asked to ponder and write down and share why are we doing what we do for the youths, and during usrah, we were asked to share our life goals. These set me thinking, and reminded me of my purpose. The purpose I had discovered in sec 4 madrasah, yet only truly believed and try to work towards since I joined Fityan (and probably NI) comm, which always reminds us of our niat...

My plans to reach my life goals are not concrete yet. I should really work on it especially at this time of the year, at this point in my life. I'm gonna turn 21 very soon! My Vision Board, which i did after ITQAN needs to be tweaked ;)

I think the best song to describe all these is:

The following may sound boring, but I just wanna keep it in my blog... It's my final assignment for Prof Lum. He's a really interesting lecturer...

Name: Marliyana Binte Mohamad Noor
Module: AAB101 Biodiversity in Natural Ecosystems
Title: 3 Places I Would Like to Visit

Local - Singapore:

The first place that I would like to visit would be the coral reefs in Singapore. I travelled all the way to Terengganu last year (not that I regret it, though it is kind of far for someone like me who do not travel much) to take a look at the coral reefs at Pulau Redang, only to find out this year that Singapore has its own coral reefs! We have visited Sungei Buloh to take a look at the mangrove (partly land, partly water)habitat and Macritchie reservoir (land)to take a look at the forest habitat in Singapore as part of our Biodiversity module and it feels incomplete if I do not visit the coral reefs (water) as well. Coral reefs are afterall rainforests of the sea, as deemed by some.

Coral reefs are very sensitive to changes in its surroundings and around the world, many are being damaged by the rising temperature of the ocean caused by global warming. The rising water temperature has damaged the zooxanthellae that used to live symbiotically with the corals, causing an effect called bleaching on the corals. Zooxanthellae are important to the corals as they supply nutrients, produced during photosynthesis, to them. If the water temperature keeps on rising, and no new symbionts live with the corals to supply the food for them, before long coral reefs would be a thing of the past. Therefore, I must catch it before it’s too late.
In Singapore, hard corals reefs are commonly seen on many of our Southern shores and some are also found on our Northern shores. Eventhough our reefs are small in size, about 0.01% the size of the Great Barrier Reef only, there are actually about half as many coral species, right here in this island, which majority of the world cannot locate its location on the world map!

Most of the reefs are hidden from view in the sediment-laden waters, due to on-going coastal development, but it is said that during low tide, the water would clear up and some of the reefs would be revealed. I wouldn’t have to snorkel, much less to swim or dive. To think that they are just are just half an hour away from the city centre!


Regional – Philippines:

If I were to visit a rainforest in the region, it would definitely be the tropical rainforest on the Philippine islands of Bohol, Mindanao, Mindoro, Negros and Palawan. The rainforests here are still in their pristine state. The description of the biodiversity of the rainforest by Angel C. Alcala is simply too captivating.
The crowns of the lower tree strata that formed a continuous forest canopy, effectively preventing light rays from penetrating to the forest floor, except in areas where the canopy was broken by fallen trees is something that one cannot experience in Singapore ‘forests’. The abundant climbing bamboos, rattan, tree ferns, palms, and lianas, ferns, aerial mosses, and orchids grew on tree trunks, decaying vegetation and leaf litter covering the forest floor, diverse small animals and lower plants are some of Angel’s description of the rainforest. According to her, inside the rainforest itself, there are many microhabitats that one may chance upon. Where else would I get to observe so much in one place?

Apart from seeing the plants and animals, here I get to feel the wetness and humidity of the surroundings, smell the decaying matter and hear the different animal calls and sounds of animal movements and the occasional breaking of twigs and branches in the day and the sounds of birds, frogs and insects at night. It seems that the rainforests in Philippines awakens all my senses.

There are an estimated 13,500 plant species, of which about 8,000 are flowering plants and variety of land vertebrate species, of which approximately 80 are amphibians, some 240 reptiles, 556 birds (resident and migratory), and 174 mammals. Of all these, 75 percent of the amphibians, 70 percent of reptiles, 44 percent of birds, and 64 percent of mammals are unique to Philippines only. In addition, there is a possibility of finding new species as well!

At the same time, sad to say, there is also a high probability of species extinctions here. Already some 52 native vertebrate species are in the critical or endangered categories, and a great many more are listed as threatened. So, once again, before many of these species go extinct, I would certainly want to take a look at them “live” before it’s too late. It was quite a saddening experience to walk into the Raffles Museum of Biodiversity to see the life-size animals on display and to know that they will never walk on the face of the earth again.


International – Australia

Australia is certainly another place not to be missed. Since it has been an island on its own for millions of years, its wildlife has been able to evolve independently to give interesting distinct flora and fauna. Australia is said to have the highest species richness of a country in the world. It is estimated that Australia has up to 900 different species, and out of this 900, 300 are unique to Australia only, as some of the earlier species interbreed with other species and then produce new hybrids.. Australia is a great place to study how time and isolation impacts biodiversity in a certain place. There are groups of animals whose relatives have long since disappeared from other parts of the world.

Australia has about 300 species of mammals in total and it is the only continent to have all three types of mammals; the monotremes, the marsupials, and the placentals. The monotremes are the only mammals to lay eggs. The only three monotremes, the Platypus and two species of Echidna, and can all be found only in Australia, apart from New Guinea.

The marsupials are mammals whose young are born in an immature state and so, the females usually carry and nurse their young in pouches or pouch-like area on their abdomens. About half of the Australia’s native mammals are marsupials and most of the 140 species of marsupials there are found nowhere else in the world; except New Guinea. Of course, Australia is widely known for its koala bears and kangaroos, which are marsupials. In fact, Australia has over 60 species of different types of kangaroos. There are big red kangaroos, gray kangaroos, wallabies, rock wallabies, wallaroos, pademelons and quokkas; the most familiar kangaroo probably being the Eastern Gray Kangaroos'. Some unique kangaroos are the tiny bunny rabbit sized ones called a 'musky rat kangaroo', and those that live in the canopy, called 'tree kangaroos'.

It is in Australia and the surrounding islands where the marsupials have really evolved to such a spectacular effect, whereby they have exploded into a diverse array of forms, to fill in the niches that are filled elsewhere by other mammals. Thus the monkeys and squirrels are replaced by possums, the carnivores are replaced by tiger cats or quolls and others, and the deer and antelope are replaced with kangaroos and wallabies.

Australia's biodiversity lies in those species that are found nowhere else. There are over 750 birds recorded living in or visiting it's shores, but there are more endemic species than any other country in the world. That is, about 300 species are found nowhere else on Earth. Most of the Australian birds are not at all closely related to those overseas, eventhough they may superficially resemble them. For example, there are robins that are not robins, flycatchers that are not flycatchers, magpies that are not magpies, magpie larks that are not magpies nor larks, and cuckoo-shrikes that are neither cuckoos nor shrikes. Probably the most important of these endemic birds are the `Honeyeaters'. This is the biggest family of birds in Australia and they can account for more than half the birds living in any given area.
The plants in Australia are also interesting to observe. The Eucalyptus plant symbolises Australia's vegetation and ecology and national identity in so many ways. There are hundreds and hundreds of species. They represent biodiversity in every sense of the world, for they also exhibit broad genetic diversity within the species, with some of the wider ranging species, like the 'Coolibah' and is found along dry river beds in the drier parts of the country and looks very different. Hybrids are also produced in different areas. They range in size from the bush like multi-stemmed mallees, to the giant Mountain Ash, which is the tallest flowering plant in the world.

And this was his reply to me when I submitted my assignment, via e-mail...

Dear Marliyana,

How are you?

Thank you for sending me your assignment.

What a fascinating choice of places? I hope you get to visit them soon, especially the Philippines, as there is very little left of its natural places and they are going fast. Palawan is still relatively green, and Mindanao in places, but safety might be an issue in parts of this beautiful island.

Maybe you can start with your next holiday?

Speaking of holidays, I hope you are enjoying a safe and happy one. See you in the New Year!

Best wishes,
Shawn

Such a sweet lecturer huh? He'a a unique lecturer and individual, Even his name is unique.... :D Prof LUM Shawn Kaihekulani Yamauchi (NSSE). Woah!

Bella's Lullaby is a quite a soothing song afterall (the orchestra one instead of just the piano)... At least it manages to calm me down after a wave of emotion. Well, ok Wei Liang's crazy e-mail contributed as well, funny la this guy :D

So yeah, wave of emotion...

No idea why my mum is so lovely in her smses to me when I'm at hostel. Sometimes her msgs remind me of boyfriends messaging girlfriends ~ sweet dreams, sweetheart, semoga ceria ~ you get what I mean.... Probably she misses me too much. Then when I'm at home, aiyoh I always feel like I'd done something wrong. In fact, I don't think I did anything wrong. I always feel interrogated and nagged at.

Like this morning, I told my mum I'm going masjid at 9am for usrah, THEN she tell me there's a wedding invitation. My distant aunt is getting married. Normally, if a wedding invitation falls on a Sunday, and especially if the wedding is not in Tampines, I won't go cos it's too rushing for me to Zohor and rush to madrasah. I don't see why I can't be excused today...

And I dislike people talking to me with arms folded.

Plus my dad is not helping... I don't have a curfew, but I kinda set my own curfews in the sense that if I say I'll be back by 7, I need to be back by 7. This never happened before I started staying in hostel... On thursday I went to NIE with Jamie. My plan was to reach home in time to do my asar prayers before it's time for maghrib. But I was doubtful I could, so I did tell my mum that I may not reach home then. It happened that Jamie wanted to see my hostel, so it took time, and so I prayed asar at my hostel. Otherwise I'd miss my Asar. I reached home around Maghrib and my dad asked in an authoritative tone (though sometimes he likes to 'joke') of why I came back late...

:( This is why I'm feeling rebellious (of which Sylvia says, "Hermione!" haha). Perhaps Twilight is not helping in this aspect, cos it puts back the 'teenager blood' in me when I should be matured and rational like a 20-year-old should be (I can't believe this! Time flies so fast!)

As much as I want to fill my holidays with beneficial activities back-to-back (like attending a 7hr meeting followed by CPR yesterday and how I wish I can attend Fatayaats usrah in the morning, tadarrus then madrasah after zohor followed by TMSN usrah with Dr Bakri after that, which I can't), I gotta sacrifice much. I don't mind spending time with my family if it means having a fun time. But apparently my family's definition of family time is sitting at home, doing your own stuff, of which I'd end up doing something Twilight-ish, which I have to admit is a waste of time and brain cells.

I enjoyed yesterday in the sense that I was reminded time and again of Allah and of our purpose on earth... Of course, with Raudah and her camera, and the rest of the girls, there's surely a mention of Twilight... But at least I can rein myself infront of them. Most of them only have critics for it anyway.

My principle: if you can't beat them, don't join them, but just keep quiet, smile and ignore them haha.

That's what I did anyway for most part of the Twilight discussion, the review of CPR, and the singings in Mohksin's car. Smile... and ignore ;p

I'm having a big headache now, for God knows why, since around Asar earlier on. All I did was to rest my head on the table with my eyes closed, and I felt the whole world spinning. Following that the headache persisted, with constant dizzy spells, esp. when I prostrate. No idea why... Some of them asked why do I look so stressed. I have no idea! Alot seems to be going through my head, yet my head feels empty.

CPR was great jut now. I'm someone who's easily satisfied larh... so I may not be the best person to critic. I found the acting superb, singing wonderful, songs fitting... I just thought that the relevance could be something closer to our hearts as youths, and that the setting wasn't made to look so kampung when the timeframe seems to be modern times... I like the artistic feel at the start, though I don't understand the movements or the symbolism of the cloth and the colour white and the candles.... The transitions between the songs and scenes were really smooth in my opinion.... Oh and when the mike failed once, the actor had a very good voice projection, bravo!

K, the headache is killing me! And I have usrah early 9am tmr... Gotta go get some rest. Let's listen to some piano songs, shall we? :D

Jamie doesn't mind teaching me piano on Saturdays btw. I just need to decide if I really want it. Don't wanna be wasting time, effort and money only to realise I'd quit halfway. I'm thinking of quitting silat next year... I just feel that it's not my thing and I could use the time doing something I like more... I just hope I don't need the self-defense, if you know what I mean... Right now I can't kick or punch for nuts anyway for that matter *rolls eyes*

I feel that after reading Twilight, my conversations in English are better thought-out, better pronounced and more fluent. Of course it still depends on the topic of conversation... If you throw in a topic about in-vitro fertilization (err, where did that come from??) I'd probably have not much to say hehe.

I think I use the phrase "I feel that..." more than "I think...". Not using my brains as much as before huh? I used to think alot, about 1001 things at the same time if that's possible. I guess I've learned to chill and stone out. Haha.

I'd been wondering lately, what are my strengths? I think I'd know what the answer would be if I asked some of the people around me. It seems distinct, but then I don't find that a special talent, and neither do I think I'm very good at it. I just enjoy it, not that I'm good at it. It's two different things you know. It all depends on who you work with... Sometimes I feel that it's a case of "lembu punyer susu, sapi dapat nama", whereby I am the sapi. (haha reminds me of the Fityan IO cheer: "Sappy go!" lol)

Well you see...
I have a friend, her name is Jamie and she is very good in piano.
I have a friend, her name is Ad and she is very good with the bass.
I have a friend, her name is Liyana and she is very good with reciting the Qur'an.
I have a friend, her name is Sylvia and she is very good with writing and drawing.
I have a friend, her name is Jun and she is very good in silat and designing.
I have a friend, her name is Raudah and she is very good with photography and designing.
I have many friends, of different backgrounds, and they are all special in many ways, and they have strengths of their own, certain skills that are special...

Myself? I've tried many things. You can see that from the list of different CCAs I'd tried. Malay dance. Indian dance. Chinese dance. Swimming. Maths club. Library club. English drama (and debate). Malay drama. Silat. I'd even tried keyboard (piano) and designing and writing and drawing and origami and beads and cross-stitching and fashion designing and God-knows what else... Like hellooooo, I'm nearly 21 and still searching :S

I got B3 for all my O level subjects right (except one) and Jamie complimented that that means I am fairly equal in doing fine with anything. Hmm... Maybe that's why I can do alot of things (some with greater difficulty than others) and nothing truky stands out.

Jack of all trades? (What's female for Jack anyway? hmm)

Anyway, I've finished downloading all 65 songs from youtube to my comp, but only around 10 fits into my MP4 haha.

I can't wait to start snapping pictures again! I love taking pictures of sceneries best :))))

Nothing splendid... I never know about focusing, about details, about lightings, about subjects whatever other photography terms are there larh... I only know of the macro function recently la sey :P But still...





I'm missing alot of people and things actually. Especially after browsing through my slides. Awwwww.... Kejam kelip, one of my previous usrah sister is getting married soon!!

Slides

K I'm hungryyyyyy... Need to grab something before going for FLAP laterrrrz

I'm genuinely surprised to see two people (Ustazah & someone I don't know by the name of Kiran) following this blog and Nazihah tagging. Hmm... I wonder if I'd just been oblivious before this or did these surprising surprises just happened today *shrugs*

Anyway... yes my obsession with Twilight has yet to die down. It has totally replaced my obsession of facebook. Hmm... I'm currently reading Twilight back on the parts I skipped earlier, plus downloading the movie and soundtracks and trying to convert them to fit my MP4, I have an inkling it's full already... But NO, I'm not deleting my nasyids for Twilight. Gotta be firm with that!! No matter how much I delve myself into these fantasies, reality shall have to remain reality and in reality I'm a Muslim. My prayers, Qur'an recitations, principles, dress, adab, nasyids etc should remain. If Twilight have to fit into my life, it gotta squeeze into whatever spaces there's left. I should get over it soon.... Right?? It's a TEENAGE LOVE story revolving around VAMPIRES and WEREWOLVES la seyyyyy. I'm feeling abit old for that :S

Ok, apart from Twilight trying to take over my life (and it has to a certain extent, unfortunately), I still go out and attend meetings, meet friends etc.

Had GESL (Group Endeavours Service Learning) on Monday. Alhamdulillah, the heritage race went on pretty satisfactorily. Just as I thought it's over, though, we have to do the reflections and peer appraisal. I'm glad I'm not one of the drivers, otherwise I'd be busy compiling the documents now...

So anyway, my group did the heritage race for chronically ill kids from Club Rainbow. I was there for the briefing to listen to what each kid suffers from low IQ to slowness to cleft lip to eczema to lupus to epilepsy to arthritis. It rather breaks your heart to see them looking healthy on the outside yet knowing what ails them inside. Most of them were very cheerful, some were playful and mischievous, some quiet and shy, a few trying hard to grab your attention. They really looked normal, most of them! Some are supposed to already be in secondary school level but they've been retained in primary school...

It makes you happy seeing them smile though. And it is rather easy to make most of them smile :) Sweet kids.... I pray for them goodness, that whatever comes their way is made easy for them and their families...

Oh, in my attempt to lead life as normal as possible (to jab into my head that no vampires or werewolves exist in this world of mine, for I do have a strong sense of imagination hehe) I went for meeting at Bro Hamid's house this morning with Kak Maryam. Aniq is forever charming and handsome, though dirtily handsome today, putting my pens in his mouth and more. And Nur Sakinah is so lovely.... Even if she did vomit out the milk onto my hand and pants and poo pooed about 5 times haha. I'm sure there'll be more meetings at Bro Hamid's house... So, I'm soooo gonna watch this little princess grow! And learn abit about handling babies from Bro Hamid & Kak Marliana, and maybe cooking also from Kak Marliana & Sheela hehe. Did you know babies cry differently to indicate the different things they want? Try youtube it! :P

I went to Courts with my mum as well today after meeting, and got myself a Samsung ST_45 camera! I'm loving it ;) Cost me quite abit, and so I hope I can claim it from LDS, which I still have over $300! I don't know why I'm unable to access the claims page though, urgh!!! I thought after spending over $100 on Twilight books and two other books, I'd have a rein on myself. Apparently NOT. And right now my phone line has finished it's 3 yrs contract, I wanna change to student plan! I'm not in need of a phone but since I'm getting a new line, might as well right? Hmm...

My mum brought up something interesting, and funny this afternoon. She admitted to me, wondering if she had looked as childlike as I do when she got married at 21 plus. Haha. Yes, I'm turning 21 this Feb! So fast.... But no, I can't get married yet. I think I'd only be able to safely get married without disrupting my bond with MOE so much after I graduate from NIE at 25. Hmmm...

Speaking of marriage, can I request my future husband to play "A River Flows in You" by Yiruma on the piano pleaseeeeeeee? That is one song that can make me smile to sleep, apart from one of the Final Fantasy piano pieces and a few other pieces.... Of course not a priority hehe, but it's an added plus heh ;) Ok dah, stop it eh with your fantasies Marl!!

Am going NIE tomorrow afternoon with Jamie. Now that's one girl who can play piano really well. I wonder if she can teach me to play the songs patiently enough hehe. No larh, I prefer listening to playing the piano...

Hmm, have alot of catch-ups to do! Meeting and CPR with Fityan peeps this Sat, usrah with Ustazah Sakinah & Liyana this Sun, movie date with Siti this coming Monday, birthday celebration with Abg on Tuesday most likely, Science Centre cum Body World outing with Harizah & Mahmudah on Wednesday, cycling at ECP with Maizura & Bio peeps on Friday, Minds Cafe with Ulam Raja peeps on 15th, and off I go for spiritual uplifting on 19th-25th followed by Alkaff Teenz Camp on 26th-27th.

NIE results out on 21st. School reopening on 8th Jan. I have madrasah exams on 13th & 20th Dec. And I have Biodiversity assignment and GESL reflections due very very soon. Should be doing them now, hmmmm...

Alhamdulillah! This is my GPA for DPI:

Jumlah Nilai Gred Jumlah Kredit Purata Nilai Gred
Semua Semester : 48.68 39 3.74
Keputusan : Amat Cemerlang

MasyaAllah, SubhanAllah, Alhamdulillah! Mudah2an I'm able to keep pace with this, as well as able to apply and put to practice what I learn to daily lives :)

Here's all the songs in order:

1. How I Would Die – Carter Burwell
2. Full Moon – The Black Ghosts
3. Who Are They? – Carter Burwell
4. Eyes On Fire – Blue Foundation
5. Phascination Phase – Carter Burwell
6. Tremble For My Beloved – Collective Soul
7. I Dreamt Of Edward – Carter Burwell
8. Treaty – Carter Burwell
9. I Caught Myself – Paramore
10. Humans Are Predators Too – Carter Burwell
11. Never Think – Rob Pattinson
12. I Know What You Are – Carter Burwell
13. The Skin Of A Killer – Carter Burwell
14. The Most Dangerous Predator – Carter Burwell
15. The Lion Fell In Love With The Lamb – Carter Burwell
16. Spotlight (Twilight Mix) – MuteMath
17. Complications – Carter Burwell
18. Dinner With His Family – Carter Burwell
19. La Traviata – The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra (iTunes bonus track)
20. I Would Be The Meal – Carter Burwell
21. Clair de lune – The APM Orchestra (iTunes bonus track)
22. Bella’s Lullaby – Carter Burwell
23. Supermassive Black Hole – Muse
24. Nomads – Carter Burwell
25. Stuck Here Like Mom – Carter Burwell
26. Bella Is Part Of The Family – Carter Burwell
27. Tracking – Carter Burwell
28. In Place Of Someone You Love – Carter Burwell
29. Showdown In The Ballet Studio – Carter Burwell
30. Let Me Sign – Robert Pattinson (iTunes bonus track)
31. Edward At Her Bed – Carter Burwell
32. Go All The Way (Into The Twilight) – Perry Farrell
33. Flightless Bird, American Mouth – Iron & Wine
34. 15 Step – Radiohead (Not on soundtrack or score)
35. Leave Out All The Rest – Linkin Park
36. Decode – Paramore

Track listing in the Soundtrack (am so gonna get my hands on it if it's still in stores! shall try Borders soon..)

1. "Supermassive Black Hole" (Muse) – 3:31
2. "Decode" (Paramore) – 4:21
3. "Full Moon" (The Black Ghosts) – 3:50
4. "Leave Out All the Rest" (Linkin Park) – 3:19
5. "Spotlight" (Twilight Mix) (Mute Math) – 3:20
6. "Go All the Way (Into the Twilight)" (Perry Farrell) – 3:27
7. "Tremble for My Beloved" (Collective Soul) – 3:53
8. "I Caught Myself" (Paramore) – 3:55
9. "Eyes on Fire" (Blue Foundation) – 5:01
10. "Never Think" (Robert Pattinson) – 4:30
11. "Flightless Bird, American Mouth" (Iron & Wine) – 4:02
12. "Bella's Lullaby" (Carter Burwell) – 2:20