I can't sleep... again...

And I shall not rant to anyone or on facebook, hmph (merajok ar...)

Anyway, not been feeling at best the past few days. Lots of thoughts going in and out of my mind. Haiz, I dunno what I'm thinking anymore. I dunno what I'm talking about half the time either. And I guess that's why I rant on and on. Trying to find precisely what I wanna say...

Or maybe... I know what I wanna say, but I just don't feel I should say it.

I'm sick and tired of people!!!! Can?

I'm on an emotional roller coaster. And they all boil down to: jealousy. I think.

I always associate jealousy with being petty, I hate jealous/petty people, so right now I'm hating myself. Hmpfh.

I dunno larh, PEOPLE PEOPLE!!!!

Dang, I feel like going up to someone and shaking the world out of her (can't be him la kan, since can't touch right). Cos maybe that is precisely what I need.

I wonder, if I were to go into a comma, what would I see...

I need to press that STOP button. How I imagine everything around me freezes and I am able to walk and walk and walk for as long as I want and nobody shall disturb me and I can clear my thoughts.

I'll be stopping work on 22nd, Wednesday... I'd been accepted in NTUMS FOC, though I'm not the first 65 people or something like that and won't receive a full goodie bag, errrrrr, whatever. BABSC FOC is cancelled. I'll be doing e-registration & e-orientation. My eyes feel so kero after facing the comp for long hours each day. I can't wait to see my hostel, yet I dread it. I love the thrill driving gives me, yet I dread it too. I'm excited to meet new people, to expand my horizons, yet I dread it too.

I'm one very confused ladeeeeee...

See see, I'm ranting on and on, and I don't even know what's my problem.

I hadn't been a good friend to anyone, and thus I don't deserve any friends?

Acquaintances.... Many.
Friends... Few? Or none?
What more closefriend or bestfriend...
And I thought I don't care.

Actually, I still don't. But I'm just ranting, so yeah.

And popeye chicken is the same as kfc chicken that I feel so cheated, tsk tsk.

Driving in circuit tmr. I've decided that whatever's gonna happen, heck care.
Yet, I cried a few tears when my instructor wasn't looking last Saturday.
I dunno what the tears were for.

Just a breakdown period I guess.

I wanna go Ubin and cycle. I wanna go to the beach and watch the sun set and the waves swish and swosh my worries away...

Tick tock tick tock... Time...

I feel so unsupported. Sometimes I feel people talk behind my back. Look down on me, degrade me, mock me...

Everything sums up to one word: pathetic.

Get over it Marl. These are just pathetic thoughts.

But I do find it hard to trust people these days. People seem so hyprocritic.

Maybe cos I feel like I'm such a hypocrite that's why I vie everyone else the same way.

I don't blame others. I blame myself. For what I go through, it's because I deserve them.

O Allah, please fill my heart with light again.

I should go seek Allah, hear His words, contemplate His guidance...

Goodnight world...