Excited gilerhhh!

Can't believe the thrill I get from Science. OoOoOooooooo

So, I chose Bio as my major and Chem as my minor and the modules I'll be taking in my first sem are:
1) Biodiversity in Natural Ecosystem
2) General Microbiology
3) General Chemistry
4) Fundamentals of Physical Chemistry
5) Educational Psychology I: Theories and applications for learning and teaching
6) Critical Perspectives in Education

Can't wait to begin classes!

Makan tak lalu, tidur ta lena... pakkal mandi tetap basah eh... Lain macam eh bunyinya? Waduuuuh...

Entahlah kenapa satu hari ni rasa lain macammmmm je. Risau, resah, gelisah. Ada rasa kehilangan gitu. Entahlah... Entah mengapa merasa begitu. Tapi takdelah jantung dup dub dup dub, takde... Haiz, keadaan diri sendiri pon tak paham...

It's time to seek Allah... more

Harap2 bukann sebab nak jatuh sakit lagi, sebab takde sebab yang munasabah langsung untuk jatuh sakit lagi!

Kehilangan... Apa agaknya yang hilang sebenarnya ni eh?

"Verily, After Hardship Comes Ease"
At a time in which the Muslims are beset with trials from every periphery, it is a time when Muslims should continue being Muslims, only better Muslims. I would say to my dear brothers and sisters in Islam "don’t be Sad"; if you are on the true religion – believing in One God and all the Messengers sent to mankind, then don’t be sad.

"...Bear with patience whatever befalls you...." (Qur'an 31:17) and "Be not sad, surely Allah is with us." (Qur'an 9:40)

Our Prophet (pbuh) said: "Verily, if Allah loves a people, He makes them go through trials. Whoever is satisfied, for him is contentment, and whoever is angry upon him is wrath." [Tirmidhi]

Being sad is not encouraged in Islam

"So do not become weak, nor be sad..." (Qur'an 3:139)
"And grieve not over them, and be not distressed because of what they plot." (Qur'an 16:127)

Sadness prevents one from action instead of compelling one towards it. The heart does not benefit through grief. The most beloved thing to the devil is to hinder the worshipper in the path of Allah. The Muslim must repel sadness and fight in any way that is permissible in Islam.

Allah is sufficient for us

"Allah is sufficient for us, and He is the best Disposer of affairs. So they returned with Grace and Bounty from Allah. No harm touched them; and they followed the good Pleasure of Allah. And Allah is the owner of Great Bounty." (Qur'an 3:173-174)

"And put your trust in Allah if you are believers indeed..." (Qur'an 5:23)
"O you who believe! Seek help in patience and the prayer..." (Qur'an 2:153)

By leaving your affairs to Allah by depending on Him, by trusting in His promise, by being pleased with His decree, by thinking favourably of Him, and by waiting patiently for His help, you reap some of the greater fruits of faith. When you incorporate these qualities, you will be at peace concerning the future, because you will depend on your Lord for everything. As a result, you will find care, help, protection and victory.

Pre-ordainment

"No calamity befalls on earth or in yourselves but is inscribed in the Book of Decrees – before We bring it into existence." (Qur'an 57:22)

The pen has dried, and the pages have been lifted: all events shall come to pass have already been written. Whatever has befallen you was not meant to escape you, and whatever has escaped you was not meant to befall you: if this belief were to be firmly ingrained in your heart, then all hardships and difficulty would become ease and comfort.

The Prophet (pbuh) said, "Whoever Allah wishes good for, He inflicts him (with hardship)." [Bukhari]

For those who are afflicted with disaster, glad tidings await them: so remain patient and happy with your Lord. "He cannot be questioned as to what He does, while they will be questioned." (Qur'an 21:23)

Verily, with hardship, there is relief

"Verily, with hardship there is relief" (Qur'an 94:6)
"Perhaps Allah may bring victory or a decision according to His Will." (Qur'an 5:52)

Prophet Ibrahim ('alayhissalam) did not feel its heat because of the help he received from Allah. "We (Allah) said : O' fire! Be you coolness and safety for Ibrahim." (Qur'an 21:69)

The sea would not drown Prophet Moses ('alayhissalaam) because he uttered in confident, strong and truthful manner: "Nay verily! With me is my Lord, He will guide me." (Qur'an 26:62)
And the Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said to 'Abdullah bin 'Abbas (radiyallahu 'anhu): "..Be mindful of Allah, you will find Him before you. Get to know Allah in prosperity and He will know you in adversity... And know that victory comes with patience, relief with affliction, and ease with hardship." [Tirmidhi]

Accept life as it is

If you read the Qur'an you will see that all the Prophets went through trials and tribulations. Life is a test so let us learn from the best examples of our Prophets. "Or think you that you will enter Paradise without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They were afflicted with severe poverty, ailments and were shaken." (Qur'an 2:214)

We should know that if we are pleased with our Lord, He will be pleased with us. And if you are pleased with your Lord no matter what the situation is, then you will find that you have earned your Lord's pleasure. On the other hand, there are hypocrites whom Allah rejects their deeds. They are displeased with what Allah sends down and they hate seeking His pleasure; thus their deeds are performed in vain.


Your recompense is with Allah

When Allah, the Exalted takes something away from you, He compensates it with something better, but only if you are patient and seek His reward.
Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said, "Whoever loses a loved one from the people of this world and then seeks recompense with his Lord, will be compensated with Paradise."

Those who are in this world and are close to Allah will be raised in the highest of heaven: "Peace be upon you, because you peresevered in patience! Excellent indeed is the final home!" (Qur'an 13:24)

Truly, the life of this world is short and its treasures are few. O' afflicted ones, if you are patient you lose nothing; and though you may not perceive it, you are profiting.
Extract honey but do not break the hive

"Repel (the evil) with one which is better, then verily! He, between whom and you there was enmity (will become) as though he was a close friend." (Qur'an 41:34)
"….and harm them not. And put your trust in Allah." (Qur'an 33:48)

Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said, "Verily, Allah ordered me to keep relations with those that cut off, forgive the ones who does an injustice with me, and to give to those who withhold from me."

"Those who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allah loves the good-doers." (Qur'an 3-134)

Remembrance of Allah

"Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest." (Qur'an 13:28)
"Therefore remember Me and I will remember you…" (Qur'an 2:152)

We should not be surprised when we hear that people who remember Allah are at peace. What is truly surprising is how the negligent and unmindful survive without remembering Him. Allah says in the Qur'an, "They are dead, lifeless and they know not when they will be raised up." (Qur'an 16: 21)

Truly, He is near when supplicated: He hears when he is called and He answers when He is invoked, so humble yourself before Him and ask of Him sincerely. Repeat His beautiful names, and mention Him alone as worthy of worship. Mention His praises, supplicate to Him: you will find then – by the will of Allah – happiness, peace and illumination. “So Allah gave them the reward of this world and the excellent reward of the Hereafter.” (Qur’an 3:148)

Loving Allah, knowing Him, remembering Him, seeking peace in Him, singling Him out for complete love, fear, hope and dependence – these qualities when combined in a person, constitute a sort of heaven on earth.

These are qualities that bring peace to those who love Allah, a sort of peace that has no comparison in this world.It is important that a special relationship exists in the heart between the slave and his Lord, a relationship that allows the slave to feel so close to his Lord that he requires no other.

Thus, he finds company when he is alone, and he tastes the sweetness of remembering Him and supplicating to Him. Allah's slave will continually face hardship and difficulty until he dies, but if he has a special relationship with his Lord, all of the hardships of life will become easy for him.

The prayer….the prayer – we must return to our mosques

"O' you who believe! Seek help in patience and the Prayer." (Qur'an 2:153)

By earnestly performing the five daily prayers, we achieve the greatest of blessings: cleared off our sins and increase in rank with our Lord. Prayer is a potent remedy for our sickness, for it instills our faith in our souls.

As for those that keep away from the mosque and away from prayer, for them is unhappiness, wretchedness and an embittered life.

"For them is destruction and Allah will make their deeds vain." (Qur'an 47:8)

Take a moment to reflect

O whose mind has wandered in grief, O' you whose eyes are loaded with tears; relax and know that your Creator aids, and that His mercy will bring you peace. And know that your reward is secure with He Who doesn’t disappoint the one who seeks to please Him. Be at peace, for after poverty comes joyous meeting, and after sleeplessness comes sound rest. O you who are oppressed in the lands, who suffer from hunger, pain, sickness and poverty, rejoice in the knowledge that you will soon be satisfied with food and that you will be happy and in good health.

Let us make these supplications, their purpose being to eliminate hardship, anxiety and grief:

"There is no worthy of worship except Allah, the Ever Forbearing, the Most Great. There is none worthy of worship except Allah, the Lord of the Tremendous Throne. There is none worthy of worship One Who sustains and protects all that exists, there is none worthy of worship except You, and by Your Mercy do we seek Your aid."
"So be patient, with a good patience..." (Qur'an 70:5)

Taken from "Verily After Hardship Comes Ease"

Semua manusia akan menghadapai pelbagai ujian dan dugaan.
Namun semua ini bukan penghalang untuk kita kelihatan senyum
dan ceria. Sebaliknya,dengan senyuman dan kecerian kita akan
mampu untuk menghadapi ujian hidup.Biasalah jika susah hati
atau ditimpa masalah dan musibah ada yg menanggis.Dalam situasi
anda tidak akan dapat berfikir dengan rasional dalam situasi yg tidak
tenang.

Paling penting,anda perlu menyediakan diri anda untuk menghadapi
dan menyelesaikannya, juga tidak akan selesai jika anda melarikan
diri.Masalah akan selesai jika kita berusaha.Memang susah! memang
payah! Ada tikanya perit dan mengeciwakan malah melukakan.Tapi
bila anda menerima setiap yg berlaku didalam hidup anda sebagai
ujian,anda akan tetap boleh kekal senyum menerima dengan redha.

Inilah panduan:

1-Kenapa aku diuji?
Apakah manusia itu mengira bahawa mereka dibiarkan saja mengatakan,
“sedangkan mereka diuji? Dan sesungguhnya kami telah menguji orang2
yang sebelum mereka, maka sesungguhnya ALLAH mengetahui orang2
yang benar dan sesungguhnya Dia mengetahui orang yang dusta.
….Surah Al-Ankabut ayat 2-3

2-Kenapa aku tak dapat apa yang aku idam-idamkan?
” Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu padahal ia amat baik bagi mu,dan
boleh jadi pula kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu.
ALLAH mengetahui sedang kamu tidak mengetahui,”
…..Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 216

3-Kenapa ujian seberat ini?
” ALLAH tidak membebani seseorang itu melainkan sesuai dengan kesan-
ggupannya,”
…..Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 286

4-Kenapa rasa keciwa?
” Jangan kamu bersikap lemah, dan janganlah pula kamu bersedih hati,
padahal kamulah orang-orang yang paling tinggi darjat-darjatnya, jika kamu
orang-orang yang beriman,”
…..Surah Al-Imran ayat 139

5-Bagaimana harus aku menghadapinya?
“Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Bersabarlah kamu ( menghadapi segala
kesukaran dalam mengerjakan perkara-perkara yang berkebajikan), dan kuat-
kan kesabaran kamu lebih daripada kesabaran musuh, di medan perjuangan ),
dan bersedialah ( dengan kekuatan pertahanan di daerah-daerah sempadan)
serta bertaqwalah kamu kepada ALLAH supaya, kamu berjaya ( mencapai
kemenangan).”
…..Surah Al-Imran ayat 200

6-Apa yang aku dapat daripada semua ini?
“Sesungguhnya ALLAH telah membeli daripada orang-orang mukmin,diri,harta
mereka dengan memberikan syurga untuk mereka……
….Surah At-Taubah ayat 111

7-Kepada siapa aku berharap?
“Cukuplah ALLAH bagiku, tidak ada Tuhan selain daripada-Nya.Hanya kepada-Nya
aku bertawakal.”
…..Surah At-Taubah ayat 129

8-Aku dah tak dapat bertahan lagi!!!
“…..dan janganlah kamu berputus asa daripada rahmat ALLAH. Sesungguhnya
tiada berputus asa daripada rahmat ALLAH melainkan kaum yang kafir.”
…..Surah Yusuf ayat 12

Dipetik dari "Janganlah kamu bersih"

This made me smile and I wanna share this to all of you so that you may smile too. Come on people, face life and it's trials and tribulations with a smile by holding strongly to the Qur'an & Sunnah!!! =)

Let's try to keep this short shall we? It's after midnight already, sleeeeepyyy nih.

So many people tell me not to bother catching HP as it's such a 'disappointment'... But I insist on watching it. I love HP very much and no matter what, I must watch it! I want to watch it means I want to watch it.

Glad I did. I enjoyed it very very much and lovessss it to bits and pieces! The emotions, did you capture ALL the emotions? The emotions and expressions that YOU as audience can relate to. Confusion. Scared. Sceptical. Anger. Jealousy. Brokenheartedness. Joy. Love. Second-thoughts. Fear. Loss. Disappointment. Priceless I tell you! I can still see those emotions portrayed on screen vividly in my head. Especially the two scenes where Hermione cry... Over Ron, and upon Dumbledore's death.

Yea there were alot of missing pieces, and it could have been better in many ways no doubt. But hey, appreciate what's there.... If you focus on what's NOT there, you just lose out. Come on, after 5 movies I'm sure you've learned haven't you that the movie IS DIFFERENT from the book?! Accept it! I know Rowling's literature is really good and it'll be totally splendid if they're portrayed on screen. But aiyar after you realise the movie's not gonna be the same then stop there, STOP expecting it to be the same. Instead look out for what's splendidly installed into the movie. The emotions and and... the MAGIC!

I was totally pulled into the world of magic such that I didn't even yawn ONCE AT ALL even though I'm super sleepy. Fact is, after the movie, between the cinema and interchange, I gave about 5 long yawns! And during the movie I was super wide awake, mesmerized and entertained..

I guess I should thank you all who keep telling me it's a disappointment in terms of so and so... Such that I enter the cinema with a mindset to look out for the positive parts that I could counter you guys with. And that's probably how I could truly and greatly appreciate the myriad of emotions, expressions and magic....

Instead, I learned 'disappointment' in a different sense through this HP hoo haa. Disappointment in my friends... *shrugs*

Anyway I attended Myspex finale in the morning. It was ok. I loved the ydo futsal game tremendously ;)

Penulisan Lafazh "JazakAllah Khairan"
Perbuatan baik yang dilakukan oleh orang lain kepada kita sudah sepantasnya kita balas dengan yang sebanding, kalau kita tidak bisa membalas dengan pemberian maka minimal kita mengucapkan ucapan yang diajarkan oleh Nabi kita Muhammad Shallallahu ‘Alaihi Wa Sallam yaitu

"jazakallahu khairan"

atau bila di perinci panjang pendeknya ditulis, “JazaakAllaahu Khairan”, yang maknanya adalah “Semoga Allah membalas dengan kebaikan yang setimpal.”

Kalimat di atas di baca ketika dhomirnya adalah kata ganti ke-2 seorang lelaki tunggal, adapun kalau dhomirnya adalah kata ganti ke-2 perempuan tunggal maka kalimatnya di rubah menjadi,

"Jazakillah khairan"

Artinya sama, hanya kalimat ini ditujukan untuk perempuan tunggal.

Kalau kata gantinya adalah jamak, maka dirubah menjadi,

"jazakumullahu khairan"

Dan seterusnya…

Jadi, penulisan sebagian ikhwah yang menuliskannya dengan tulisan “jazakAllah” saja, adalah kurang tepat, maksud dari jazakallah di atas adalah apa? Semoga Allah membalas dengan kebaikan atau dengan keburukan?, maka menyebutkan kalimat yang Rasulullah ajarkan adalah lebih baik, “jazakAllahu khairan, jazahullahu khairan, jazakumullahu khairan dst…. sesuai konteksnya.”

Semoga bermanfaat…

Sumber : milis pengusahamuslim.com

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2 people doa that for me today, that's why I posted this up. :) Syukran, semoga apa yang merea doakan untuk saya ini dikurniakan untuk diri mereka sendiri juga, jazakallahu khairan!!

I love Arabic :))) Came across a forum where Malays were practicising basic Arabic conversation, interesting. I like to know I could understand half of what they were saying! And the video Raudah shared just now too!

Anyway, I feel very happy today! I love the feeling of spreading joy, happiness and laughter very much :D And had great laughs with Ad in the afternoon and great laughs with some of the fatayaats just now. So happy! Feels like a long time since I laughed this much gitu. Love you guys loads... awww...

K very sleepy already. Maybe going to support Fityan tmr. 7.15am at Ghufran?!?! ZzZzZz...

But alot going through my mind. Plans. Questions. Things to do!

Anyway, before I go off, asking for your kindness to pray for Jun and Azz who haven't been feeling well lately and still 'recuperating' at home to get well soon... It doesn't feel good to feel sick, so you don't want to feel sick right? And isn't it aid that your iman is not complete if you do not wish for your brother what you wish for yourself... so don't you wish that your brother too don't have to feel sick? :) Thank you..

Oh, one last note... I started this day with "Life is a university for us. Let's strive for all-round success. Hidup ini tarbiyah untuk kita. Ayuh usaha untuk kejayaan dunia dan akhirat. Even as you cry, make another person smile or even laugh. Walaupun hati hiba dan mengalir airmata, buatlah orang lain tersenyum, malah tertawa..." and I am happy to say I have made at least one person smile and one person laugh today... And thank you others who made me smile and laugh as well. Hiba tu terukir di hati pagi ini, namun ukiran itu dapat diratakan semula...

Harry Potter tomorrow!!! Shut up spoilers!!

Kecewaaaaaaa... Hai nasib nasib... Ape nak buat... Sedihlah kan gitu, hai...

Tarbiyah untuk diri kott. Nanti kelak pon bila kau mati, masuk kubur, kau sorang tanpa teman. Dosa semua tanggung sendiri *shrugs*

I would definitely not reject the offer if it does not clash with Maghrib.. :(

I'm considering removing my blog posts from multiply and privatising my blog nih. Emotions seem to run pretty high lately.

Cam roller coaster... Naik sorang pulak tu. Gerun kan?

Super duper pissed and frustrated gilerh.

10 lessons or less in total, with this being only my 2nd time (1hr previously, 1hr this time) in circuit, how in the world am I supposed to gain confidence in driving a car which I can't see the front of the car AT ALL from my seat?!?!

And then when I wait for instructions, no instructions are given and expect me to do things on my own... then when I do things on my own suddenly instructions come my way and I can't concentrate already as I lose my train of thoughts. Abistu cakap tak follow instructions. Pening-pening.

Then kejap cakap asal kelam-kabut, jangan panic (can't remember the word used, but it starts with 'h' uh). Then kejap cakap asal lembik sangat, slowwww sangat orang bawak kereta dah sampai melaka and cepat sikit, masa dalam circuit 1 jam je. Pening betol...

Dah la tu, suroh reverse, abe pat belakang ade kereta, tak ke aku terberhenti jap, tanya, nak confirmkan slot mane kena masuk??

Urgh! Memang aku kadang2 khayal sikit and tend to forget the signals and I can't seem to notice signs for some reason. And seriously I'm still unfamiliar with all those road markings!! But oh God, give me a chance sehh... It all comes with alot of experience and practice kan... Aku bagi pening, hai ape taknya aku sendiri peningggg...

Kena marah rabak niari. Takble tahan, control control, tetap takble tahan.

According to my dad, normally people would have more or less 30hrs of practicals before test. I have like what, 20? Or less I think... Cos some lessons only 1hr.

I don't mind not passing this coming Tuesday. Though that'd mean confirm need to retake FTT cos this september would be 2 years already... Aiyerrrr.

Papelah, penat aku. Tengoklah, blog jadi mangsa.

Stress sehhh... All the best eh Marl Tuesday ni. Mudah2an this Tuesday and all the upcoming times I shall drive, takde musibah yang menimpa... I've gotten hit by a car before, never do I want to be the one hitting someone else...

Mudah2an dengan kena marah berapa banyak kali ni, akan tersirat dan tersurat dan terkunci padat dalam kepala otak supaya tak akan lupa buat selama2nya.

Mistakes are natural. Just make sure you learn from them. Ouch.

I have aloooooooot of time today, and I think that is a major factor in bringing down my fever and headaches and such haha.

I miss being home at this time of day. I’m always swept out of the house by this time, even weekends!

Why am I so free? Because... I’ve just quit work! And the BA/BSc (Ed) registration and orientation is now being done online to so-called avoid mass gatherings to minimize risk of the H1N1 infection...

I’ve just received e-mail from NTUMS FOC, NTU-NIE accommodation application and the e-registration/e-orientation stuff. All these procedures and admin stuff are driving me nuts, and that’s why here I am at my blog.

So, will I be taking a break for a short getaway before term starts? Ans. NO. Apparently I can’t go out of Sg with this H1N1 frenzy going around and I myself not in my tip-top condition. So yeah, please convince me that Sg is such a wonderful wonderful place to stay in...

I guess I’ll just take a bit of time to do the things I’d been wanting to do, like watch Harry Potter! So much for being a big fan, I still haven’t watched it. I DON’T CARE IF EVERYONE SAYS IT’S DISAPPOINTING, I WANNA CATCH IT AND THAT’S THAT, STOP TELLING ME IT’S SUCH A DISAPPOINTMENT CAN???? Aiyoooo... Dengki ehk.

And I wanna go ice-skating (perhaps with my roomie!) , and... there’s two more things that top my list of things I wanna do: Visit Science Centre & go cycling in Ubin. But I dunno who to ask along for the last two...

Should keep my list of things I wanna do short. Cos I have a long list of things I MUST do! Let’s see:
1) Complete NIE e-registration & e-orientation thingy
2) Clean my room by this Sunday
3) Complete hostel form and mail it together with cheque by 28th July
4) Prepare for NIE: mindset!!! stationeries, files, notebooks (must have a good start!)
5) and whatever nots I didn’t include which involves my commitments...


I’m excited yet nervous for two things right now. One is driving TP this coming Tuesday (gilerhhhh) and NIE.

How can TP be so soon??? I only had less than one hour of learning how to do perpendicular parking and only one time in circuit so far!! Gonna go in circuit again tonight. One hour only. Gotta perfect my directional change and S-course like SERIOUSLY!!

And NIE, gosh I can hardly believe that this is the path I choose. There is no turning back, and no room for mistakes at all (remember eh Marl, no matter how funny and hilarious a student’s work is, laugh on your own and don’t post it on your blog or facebook or whatnots, yikes, kesian seh trainee teacher yang post karangan anak murid dia, mesti kena sack nye... and being a trainee, kena bayar balik boleh mautttttzzzzz sehh!)

But insyaAllah things will go pretty fine, apart from the usual stress and hiccups of school/work-life kan...

It’s erm... ‘amazing’ that not 1, not 2, but 4 of my friends who badly want to become a teacher but didn’t get through the interview. Or rather, if I’m not mistaken, weren’t even called for an interview! From what I know, at least 1 of them got a higher GPA than me. I’m like, “Aik???” Here I am being 50-50 and not caring much about where I end up, and I got through the interview?! These 4 people badly want to become teachers! I dunno, probably their lifelong dream!

And the interview... I don’t think my answers were all that special and outstanding... Thinking back, I think some of them were kinda incoherent answers...

And that’s why, in my opinion, this is probably what Allah has ordained for me. Perhaps this is what’s best for me... My choice was not to become a teacher, but my choice was to follow whatever path is laid infront of me. And THIS came my way... amidst a rejection from NUS. and I assume my first 5 choices in NTU rejected me, that’s why I ended up in my last choice... I believe that if it is Allah that planned for me, it is therefore the best for me, no matter what hardships come my way in that path...

I guess, the same goes for jodoh... Maybe I’m still too immature to think about it *shrugs*

I'm shagged... Really really...

Yesterday evening I felt so unwell on the train that I cried. I was feeling very very faint and when I left the train at Tampines my vision was so blur I thought I saw white stars. My legs badly wanted to give way, luckily there were seats at the taxi stand beside Tampines One. And while sitting down, my legs started to go numb but slowly as I recited "Allahu akbar" over and over again praying for strength, the sickness slowly subsided.

And God, when I reached home I just had to sleep first. Couldn't take it.

Today too, when I reached home, first thing I did was to rest first.

Waaah, I think I got fever the most times this year. I hardly fall sick ok... From Jan up till this Jul, I've had fever for at least 4 times. Been seriously pushing my limits huh.

This time round, the fever could have been due to breaking fast with coke on Thursday, sleeping later than midnight and waking up by 5am throughout the week, being out the whole day on sat and Sun, falling down on sat night (depan pokok pisang la seh), overdose of chocs from Australia on Sun morn or... I dunno what else.

Nih banyak dosa nih, tu pasal banyak jatuh sakit, ishk. Nak kena clear-out dosa2 kott..

Haha pandai2 je aku.

But yeah maybe sebab sakit ni akan membawa kita lebih dekat pada Allah.

And... times up! I promised to sleep at 10pm tonight and now is 11mins past 10pm, opps~ So yeah gtg!

I can't sleep... again...

And I shall not rant to anyone or on facebook, hmph (merajok ar...)

Anyway, not been feeling at best the past few days. Lots of thoughts going in and out of my mind. Haiz, I dunno what I'm thinking anymore. I dunno what I'm talking about half the time either. And I guess that's why I rant on and on. Trying to find precisely what I wanna say...

Or maybe... I know what I wanna say, but I just don't feel I should say it.

I'm sick and tired of people!!!! Can?

I'm on an emotional roller coaster. And they all boil down to: jealousy. I think.

I always associate jealousy with being petty, I hate jealous/petty people, so right now I'm hating myself. Hmpfh.

I dunno larh, PEOPLE PEOPLE!!!!

Dang, I feel like going up to someone and shaking the world out of her (can't be him la kan, since can't touch right). Cos maybe that is precisely what I need.

I wonder, if I were to go into a comma, what would I see...

I need to press that STOP button. How I imagine everything around me freezes and I am able to walk and walk and walk for as long as I want and nobody shall disturb me and I can clear my thoughts.

I'll be stopping work on 22nd, Wednesday... I'd been accepted in NTUMS FOC, though I'm not the first 65 people or something like that and won't receive a full goodie bag, errrrrr, whatever. BABSC FOC is cancelled. I'll be doing e-registration & e-orientation. My eyes feel so kero after facing the comp for long hours each day. I can't wait to see my hostel, yet I dread it. I love the thrill driving gives me, yet I dread it too. I'm excited to meet new people, to expand my horizons, yet I dread it too.

I'm one very confused ladeeeeee...

See see, I'm ranting on and on, and I don't even know what's my problem.

I hadn't been a good friend to anyone, and thus I don't deserve any friends?

Acquaintances.... Many.
Friends... Few? Or none?
What more closefriend or bestfriend...
And I thought I don't care.

Actually, I still don't. But I'm just ranting, so yeah.

And popeye chicken is the same as kfc chicken that I feel so cheated, tsk tsk.

Driving in circuit tmr. I've decided that whatever's gonna happen, heck care.
Yet, I cried a few tears when my instructor wasn't looking last Saturday.
I dunno what the tears were for.

Just a breakdown period I guess.

I wanna go Ubin and cycle. I wanna go to the beach and watch the sun set and the waves swish and swosh my worries away...

Tick tock tick tock... Time...

I feel so unsupported. Sometimes I feel people talk behind my back. Look down on me, degrade me, mock me...

Everything sums up to one word: pathetic.

Get over it Marl. These are just pathetic thoughts.

But I do find it hard to trust people these days. People seem so hyprocritic.

Maybe cos I feel like I'm such a hypocrite that's why I vie everyone else the same way.

I don't blame others. I blame myself. For what I go through, it's because I deserve them.

O Allah, please fill my heart with light again.

I should go seek Allah, hear His words, contemplate His guidance...

Goodnight world...

*Psst... Sidenote: I like the lafaz ijabkabul in arabic, uwaah!*

Pengorbanan... Apakah sebenarnya erti sebuah pengorbanan?

Erti Pengorbanan
Album : Erti Pengorbanan
Munsyid : Haikal
http://liriknasyid.com


Apa erti jihad tanpa pengorbanan
Apa erti kata-kata tanpa dikotakan
Nabi Ibrahim lambang kejujuran
Hati bercahaya penyuluh zaman

Apa erti hamba tanpa ketaatan
Apa erti cinta tanpa pengorbanan
Nabi Ismail contoh tauladan
Sanggup mati untuk Tuhan



Berkorban apa saja
Harta atau pun nyawa
Itulah kasih mesra
Sejati dan mulia

Kepentingan sendiri
Tidak diingini
Bahagia kekasih
Saja yang diharapi

Untuk menjadi bukti
Kasih yang sejati
Itulah tandanya
Jika mahu diuji

Tidak dapat dipisahkan kasih sayang dengan pengorbanan. Kasih sayang memerlukan pada pengorbanan.

Kasih sayang. Cinta. Untuk apa? Kepada siapa?

Allah... rabbi
Rasul... habibi
Islam... deeni
Ibubapa... ummi wa abi

La ilaha illa Allah... Muhammad rasulullah...
inna sholati wa nusuki wa ma yahya wa ma mati lillahi rabbil alamin

If there is ONE thing I can be grateful for, it would be His hidayah...

THAT shall come TOP of the list, above me still having my parents, above me having scrumptious food to eat everyday, above me receiving tip top education etc etc, all of which are denied from so many youths/girls by the way...

I wouldn't be here like this the way you see me right now if I hadn't received His hidayah, which I feel came in stages that slowly develops/shapes me...

And therefore, I pray that Allah would never ever take this away from me... This ONE nikmah I wanna hold on to dearly throughout this life journey till the very end...

Sometimes you just wonder... What would happen if... you hadn't gone madrasah or you hadn't decided to join Muslim youth groups or you hadn't gone through this or that... All that ever happened in your life are the many forms of tarbiyah... And they shape you into who you are.

Everything happens for a reason, nothing happens out of sheer coincidence (I lost that badge btw...)

I am very grateful too for the atmosphere He has provided me and the friends and mentors He gave me that allowed me to be who I am today.

Alhamdulillah... Praise be to Allah!

I am surprised to find my long-lost bestfriend again and... she's changed. She's so different, in a negative way :(

It hurts you to see, to witness and to not know what to do....

In my bid to be financially independent, I made my decision....

Before I talk about this 'decision', I'd like to touch bit on leadership... Abit je...

As many of y'all know, I was appointed the vice-chair for xplore, and it was my first time being vice-chair for an event. My initial thoughts were to look back on previous vice-chairs and follow how they lead. It was just not me... And then I realised, hey I've got my own style, why should I follow everything that they do?? Instead I try to follow what I could if I see it's good and relevant, and do things my way, be myself. :) I learned something valuable there...

Ok, back about the decision... It's about going NIE BSc Prog... 4 years training (only 1st two years with pay) followed by 4 years bond... Wow. It shall be a true test of commitment and determination and passion... TRULY... Once you start, there's no turning back. If I do, the liquidated damages could sum up to over $132,000! Scary, very very scary...