Aww, mixed emotions...

K, I'm feeling frustrated cos I can't enter pac@gov to claim for my netbook!

And yes, I just got myself a HP mini this morning, and I'm so happy! I don't really know about brands (to me this HP school laptop I'm using just works fine with me but some people say bad things about it...) My China phone worked just as well, if not better, than my current Samsung Jet anyway.

I'm gonna take good care of it. It'll be my companion to and fro school from this coming sem onwards... It's small and light, whee!

Argh, I still haven't finish my tugasan, oh God...

Haiz, I was just thinking back... A number of my friends, and even my mum, would turn to me to ask about religious issues e.g. zakat, dyeing hair, dating etc and sometimes even when I'm not too sure about the dalil of certain issues etc, they'd ask for my personal take/principles on the issue... Yet I just feel that my knowledge is insufficient! Sometimes I just can't answer! (and yet sometimes I forget that I CAN honestly say 'I don't know') I mean, yeah, sometimes these issues arise at untimely hours when my mind would just go blank, eventhough at the back of my mind I know I've read about it before or heard about it being debated in class before etc and I just feel that "Hey Marl, you're a DPI student, you SHOULD know this at the back of your hand!" but yea, I guess my adab towards knowledge is still very insufficient.

And truthfully, sometimes I just get turned off too when the discussion gets too religious. I dunno... I just feel that I'm not there yet, and I can't bring myself to get involved y'know. You just feel uncomfortable and lost.

I admit, I am not a good Muslim (yet, insyaAllah) no matter what my outlook is. I have failed when I come face to face with certain challenges. Failed to nafs, failed the whispers of syaitan... Even those who may not LOOK as religious, some of them, really, I'm sure it is possible that they have a wider knowledge about Islam and that they are more consistent at practising Islam. I have my flaws... And sometimes I just want everything perfect, even in myself...

I dunno... Some may say, "hey, we're uhmans, we're not perfect" yet I cannot be sure if that is the right mindset, especially since WE are Allah's creation...

Ok, I'm rambling.

I'm very tired actually. So sleepy. Still frustrated.

Oh oh, I just felt super frustrated when I was reading the Berita Harian article about bubur Ramadhan at mosques. I dunno if I'm being judgemental towards the writer, but I feel that he's being judgemental of mosques uh... I mean, I dunno what experiences he could have had to say that alot of mosques in Singapore are mainly giving out bubur because of tradition....

What else did I wanna say eh? Alar takpelah...

All in all, today I think as much as I smiled alot, I frowned alot too. Aaaaah stress! Sumer panggil Marli Marli Marli during props making in school just now, boleh tercabut jantung.

Oh I just remembered what I wanted to say, terkejut sey dapat bill hp! *gulps*