Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, Allah has given me this wonderful opportunity to meet Ramadhan again :)

Ahlan wa sahlan ya Ramadhan! I've been longing for you :)))

Actually, I was hesitant to start this post. I was hesitant, scared of people's judgement, scared of what people will say... Because people have judged (wrongly I must add) and people have said... I wrote an entry in a book yesterday, I felt so free to write anything and everything! But, it felt selfish... I want to share my thoughts and experiences... I just have to be more careful...

Putting that aside, aaahhh, it feels great to be in Ramadhan again. And this year, because of YOG (the only good thing about it in my opinion, after all the hassle it has caused) many if us have 3 weeks of free reign this Ramadhan, whee~!

Anyway, I helped out for awhile at Ghufran this afternoon, packing, carrying, counting the porridge to be given out. It feels good to be doing it again. The first year I was a volunteer at Ghufran, I helped with the packing, not knowing many people smile here smile there don't talk much. Today, 5-6 Ramadhan down the road here I am still! But with a slightly more responsibility. People trust you, and with trust comes responsibility :)

It was nice to see the Spingfield students helping out. I heard that some of them ASKED their teacher to be part of it. Hmm, many might be negative and say, "Alar, just because they want more CIP hours...." but let's give the the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps they really want to join in the spirit of helping during Ramadhan :))

This year I felt a renewed purpose for being there packing. As my fingers get red and hot (and sticky) from handling the hot porridge with my bare fingers, I pray that these very fingers would be my witness in the hereafter that eventhough I did not contribute in monetary form, I contributed in terms of effort in making food for people to break fast with (it'am) :))) I was very excited about this fact that I so wanted to share with the Springfield students, but they were all boys, and I was kinda paiseh haha so in the end, I didn't.

Oh, Ramadhan teaches me to talk nicely. HAHA. Cause... other people are fasting too. People are tired and hungry and thirsty, and therefore, they are grumpy.... So you have to smile and talk nicely to them. As the powerpuff girls love to sing "Love love love love love, love love, makes the world go round" hahahaha. So yeah, no matter how bad is the day, smile, be nice and polite... It's a sadaqah anyway ;)

Some people can get pretty unreasonable, volunteer and jemaah alike. Probably they're tired... y'know... What matters is, as long as we are not one of the kind :)

That's pretty much my thoughts for today. Have about 30-45mins more to go before break fast....

I think I shall type out parts of what I wrote in my book yesterday...

Day 0 Ramadhan

Ramadhan... Ramadhan... I wonder how this Ramadhan would be.

Two years ago, I was having internship and my Ramadhan was spent doing my SIP and MP, and because I would usually finish my tasks late, I had to break fast at work or at a mosque near the workplace (TLL, NUS) Sometimes I had to miss my Terawih (I think) as I go in and out of the cold room with my project... Sometimes I would do my own Terawih at home. Or if I have the chance, I would rush to any mosque near there be it Masjid Haji MOhd Salleh (izzit??), Masjid Tentera DiRaja or Masjid Darussalam. Or even Masjid Darul Aman or Masjid Mydin if I was on the train home during break fast. Rarely do I get to go to Ghufran.

Last year too I didn't get to Terawih often at Ghufran because I was staying at hostel and I either have NTUMS Ramadhan meeting or silat at night... So i ended up doing my Terawih in my room on my own, if I had the strength... Or if I could, I encouraged my friends to join the NTUMS Terawih prayers at South Spine.

Ramadhan means alot to me. I so-called 'turned over a new leaf' in Ramadhan in 2006. Or at least it was the point I was introduced to Ghufran's activities, volunteering etc. I started doing many new things that year, including Terawih (if I'm not mistaken) and it was the start of my journey in becoming a better Muslim, and a better person in general. And I want to make sure that every Ramadhan will me become better and better.

I have many goals this Ramadhan. Mainly is to keep what I did last Ramadhan and to UP those where possible. Yeah... And Ghufran dakwah department has prepared a list of ibadah goals that tops my list, yet what's the point of doing them if my heart isn't there. This Ramadhan is a training for my whole self inside and out....

I wonder how this Ramadhan will be for my family. Last year, it wasn't really pleasant, in my opinion. I have many prayers and wishes, mostly concerning my family... May this Ramadhan be better, much much better for my family. I shall keep praying and not lose hope.

Anyway, I had been watching Imam Muda on youtube for the past few days and awww... I'm so kagum of these young men. Haha. Like... woah.... Respect... I pray that, may my jodoh be a true imam (in all aspects) not only for my future family, but also for the community :) Heheh

Oh! It's Maghrib already! May this Ramadhan be a blessed one for me!

Ramadhan is here! Ramadhan is here! Ahlan wa sahlan ya Ramadhan! Alhamdulillah, all praise be to Allah for giving me this opportunity to meet Ramadhan once again.

Tubna ila Allah. Wa raja'na ila Allah. Wa nadimna ya Allah. Wa nadimna ya Allah...

I want to make good use of my Ramadhan. Be well into the spirit of Ramadhan and may I come out of Ramadhan victorious (a better person) or I syahid in it. Either way would be lovely.

I'm currently at Ghufran. Aaaah home sweet home. No matter what people say about this blue mosque, it'll always have a special place in my heart. Ghufran means alot to me.

Darul Ghufran... The meaning of the name itself is already so beautiful. House of forgiveness... May in this house, this Ramadhan, I would be able to do good deeds and be cleansed of my sins.

There's so many people at Ghufran!! While some people find that it is noisy and uncomfortable etc with having so many people, I'm different, I like to see so many people in the House of Allah. It's just so heartwarming...

I received a message from my mum and Fatimah earlier on. It reads:
Salam everyone. My name is SYAABAN. I;m advising you that my neighbour RAMADHAN will be visiting you soon with his wofe REZEKI and two children SAHUR and IFTAAR. They will be accompanied by three grandchildren RAHMAT, BARAKAH and TAUBAT. They will leave after thirty days by EID airlines. Treasure them and you will be blessed. Ramadhan mubarak. May this coming Ramadhan bring lots of NUR in our life. Amin.