Started the week feeling motivated, was erm... tired and sleepy when it reaches Wednesday and Thursday afternoon but the motivation is back!!!

I dunno, but I think thinking about NI simply kindles a fire in me. I can't sleep thinking about NI. Chewahh, cam real. Jap lagi, think punya think tertido jugak...

Anyway, do you know what is Senah Gelap? Tak tau kan kan? Meh kiter bagi tau. It means 'snuggle up', haha in bahasa ape-entah (in dunno-what language). K, not funny, I know.

Spent alot today. Splurge!!! Not that I've gotten my allowance yet. No! Let's see, I've bought presents for 2 friends costing me $15 altogether. Photocopied and binded 2 sets of a booklet which costs $9.40, dang! And to make myself happy after all that forking out, I bought myself 3 sushis - 80c + 90c (supposed to be $1.80 but got 50% discount one). Yeah they filled my tummy, but man... they don't really make me feel happy. Especially when I needed to pay library fees, which adds up to $14.10, not to mention another $5 cashcard top-up! Gosh. In total is like $45.20!! Wow. That doesn't include my lunch, which fortunately didn't cost too much. $2 + $1 for drinks and another $1.(20 I think) for another drink.

Oh, TLL has got a new fish tank, with a handicapped turtle, 5 more big fishes and dunno how many small fishes. According to Ya Zhi, that turtle is a soft shell one, which can be eaten. Hmm.. Eww...

My digest didn't work well today. I suspect the reagents were contaminated, either SAP or klenow. I'm sure I did everything else properly!

Feeling excitedly sleepy. Erm, yea...

SIP is getting slightly better. MP is taxing (*gasp* proposal!!) So ppl, if you had separate SIP and MP, don't complain. I shouldn't be complainig either. Hearing about the 2 earthquakes at Pakistan (eh?) killing 160 dear to the others, and leaving 15000homeless, I should be grateful.

'Have you Heard'
Each day we are reminded
and each day we say
there's not much that we can do
it seems so far away
So we live our lives in silence
pretending not to hear
the voices of our people
The cry is so so clear
Why do we stand by spectating
while our brothers cry jihad?
We are bound by one conviction:
we believe in Allah
Have you heard of Kosova, of Afghanistan?
Have you heard of Palestine [2nd chorus: Bosnia]
of Chechan?
Have you heard of all these people
persecuted in their land?
Do you know that all these people are dying for Islam?
Have you heard, have you heard
have you heard?

'Forgive Me When I Whine'
Today, upon a bus I saw a girl with golden hair,
And in my heart I wished that I was just as fair
When suddenly she rose to leave, I saw her hobble down the aisle.
She had one leg and wore a crutch, but as she passed, a smile.
Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 legs to walk upon and the world is mine.

I stopped to buy some candy; met a boy who had such charm.
We talked, he seemed so happy, if I were late, it do no harm.
And as I left, he said to me, 'Thank you, you've been so kind.
It's nice to talk with folks like you. You see,' he said, 'I'm blind.'
Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 eyes to see the world and the world is mine.

Later that day on my way, I saw a boy with eyes of blue.
He watched the other children play; he did not know what to do.
I stopped a moment, then I said, 'Why don't you join the others, dear?'
He kept on looking straight ahead and then I knew he could not hear
Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 ears to hear the world and world is mine.

With legs to take me where I'd go.
With eyes to see the sunset glow.
With ears to hear what I'd know
Oh the world is mine

I stopped for a moment, just look how much I have
Everywhere, in all our lives, these are His signs

Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have been blessed indeed, and the world is mine
Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have been blessed indeed, and the world is mine

Dini hari ketika malam masih bersemayam, udara dingin dan mencekam, hanya yang kedengaran binatang malam. Aku terbangun, ku raih jam tangan menunjukkan pukul 3 malam.


Aku berkata : aku ingin sholat tahajud malam ini

Syaitan berkata : baru pukul 3, nanti saja, kan masih ngantuk

Aku berkata : tapi aku ingin sholat tahajud lho, waktu-waktu begini

Syaitan berkata : pukul 3 lewat 30 menit kan bisa juga


Aku tertidur lagi


Aku berkata : astaghfirullah, hari sudah pukul 4 aku ingin sholat tahajud

Syaitan berkata : tanggung, tidur saja, kan mata masih mengantuk dan badan masih lemas

Aku berkata : tapi aku ingin tahajud, sebentar lagi shubuh akan datang

Syaitan berkata : nanti saja, ntar lagi juga bisa…hehe


Aku terlelap lagi, rencana aku sholat tahajud tidak jadi.


Aku berkata : suara azan sudah terdengar ya ?

Syaitan berkata : belum, baru ngaji di masjid sana

Aku berkata : lha, itukan azan, sejelas itu masak nggak dengar sih

Syaitan berkata : iya, tapi itukan baru azan, belum iqamat kok

Aku berkata : nanti aku tertidur lagi, nanti shubuhku telat

Syaitan berkata : ah enggak kok, ntar juga bisa bangun lagi

Aku berkata : tahajud aku nggak jadi lho, ntar Shubuh juga lewat bisa bahaya kan

Syaitan berkata : santai aja, nggak pa-pa kok, masjid kan dekat bisa aja setelah iqamat baru berangkat, lagian dirumah juga bisa sholat kok…..hehe


Aku ngorok lagi, akhirnya sholat shubuh berjamaah di masjid-pun aku gagal


Aku berkata : ya Allah, aku kesiangan lagi, udah pukul berapa nih, pukul 5 lewat 30, Astaghfirullah, Shubuh telat lagi………duh……….diri…

Syaitan berkata : hahahaha, biasa lah, sekali-kali

Aku berkata : awas loe ya, ntar ku jitak kepal loe, gara-gara loe gue telat shubuh


Aku masih duduk di sajadah dalam penyesalan, kenapa sholat shubuh ku terlambat


Syaitan berkata : hallo kawan, lagi ngapain neh ?? kok kayak orang nyesel gitu ?

Aku berkata : siapa kawan loe, emangnya loe siapa ? gue bukan teman loe, loe aja nyang ngaku-ngaku teman gue

Syaitan berkata : kamu kan udah nurutin kata gue, berarti loe kawan gue….hehe

Aku berkata : pergi sana, aku ingin berzikir dan berdoa

Syaitan berkata : lha, jangan sewot gitu dong, hari kan udah siang, mana siap-siap pergi kerja lagi, nggak usah aja deh zikir dan doanya, kan zikir dijalan juga bisa ato dimana aja kan bisa juga tuh zikir ama doanya….hehe

Aku berkata : dasar penggoda kau, udah pergi sana !

Syaitan berkata : lha, wong cuman ngasih tau aja, kok malah marah ?


Pagi ini ku berangkat pergi kerja dengan bermuram durja.


Syaitan berkata : kenapa teman, kok kayak orang abis kehilangan sesuatu aja

Aku berkata : emang iya !!, gue kehilangan sholat tahajud tadi malam, lalu ketinggalan sholat shubuh di masjid, malah telat sholat shubuh, di rumah lagi, siapa yang nggak sedih

Syaitan berkata : tenang saja, besok-besok juga bisa kok di perbaiki, kan kali ini aja..

Aku berkata : tapi inikan saya nyang rugi, kesempatan tadi malam kan nggak bisa di jemput lagi

Syaitan berkata : ya udah, sekarang yang penting hilangkan sewot mu itu. Oh ya, ada cewek cantik tuh, ngitung-ngitung ngilangin suntuk loe, liat cantik nian euy !

Aku berkata : dasar syaitan loe, goda orang trus, liat wanita cantik apalagi sampe nafsu gitu, kan dosa tau !

Syaitan berkata : lha, mumpung ada kesempatan bro, ntar menghilang lagi di tikungan jalan sana, ayo cepetan liat…

Aku berkata : tidak ! aku tak ingin nambah dosa lagi, udah tahajud enggak, shubuh telat, ngaji Qur’an pun berlalu.

Syaitan berkata : duh.. kamu ini, rugi lho nggak liat tuh cewek cakep..


Aku tetap mengendarai kendaraanku dengan tenang tak bergeming, tapi syaitan masih menemani perjalananku, hingga aku bertanya ;


Aku berkata : ngomong-ngomong kamoe ini pintar ya goda orang.

Syaitan berkata : iya dong, kan itu memang profesi gue sejak di usir dari Surga dulu.

Aku berkata : trus, gimana cara kamoe goda ulama ?

Syaitan berkata : dengan ilmunya, sifat ujub (merasa sholeh), dan popularitas

Aku berkata : goda penguasa ?

Syaitan berkata : dengan jabatannya, dia bisa berbuat sekehendak nafsunya, menzalimi orang lain, memperkaya diri, main dengan perempuan lain yang haram baginya.

Aku berkata : goda pengusaha ?

Syaitan berkata : dengan kekayaannya, dia bisa berbuat apapun, semuanya bisa dia miliki, mobil mengkilat, rumah bertingkat, cewek-cewek cakep.

Aku berkata : goda rakyat jelata ?

Syaitan berkata : dengan kemiskinannya, ia bisa menjadi engkar kepada Allah, dia akan jadi orang pengumpat, pengomel, pemalas dan mengeluhi nasib lalu bisa berakhir bunuh diri.

Aku berkata : goda orang-orang kebanyakan, orang awam gitu ?

Syaitan berkata : dengan kebodohannya (tidak mengerti dengan agama), aku akan adu domba mereka, dan mereka akan saling meng-ghibah (gosip), menyebarkan keburukan antara mereka, dan memicu permusuhan antar mereka.

Aku berkata : lantas orang yang paling kamu benci itu siapa ?

Syaitan berkata : orang yang suka ke masjid, orang yang sholeh, semua orang yang ahli ibadah, orang yang senantiasa taat kepada Allah, para da’I penyeru kepada Allah dan para pejuang dijalan Allah.

Aku berkata : lalu kamu takut sama apa ?

Syaitan berkata : aku takut dengan Ayat kursi, dan seluruh isi Qur’an dan aku paling takut juga jika orang membaca nama-nama Allah.

Aku berkata : kalau begitu, aku berlindung kepada Allah dari gangguan dan godaan dirimu yang terkutuk.


Lalu aku baca Qur’an apa saja yang aku hafal, kemudian syaitan pergi dan menghilang dari hadapanku, karena dirinya kepanasan.

I can be soo thrifty I tell you. There's 1001 things on my wishlist but I can't bring myself to buy any of them. I'd tell myself, "Later, I don't need it now."

Today is no exception. I saw pretty diaries, interesting books, useful language guides, cheap HP book ($19.95 la seyy!) and many other amazing items that captures my attention. But guess what, I didn't buy any of them.

What did I buy instead? Food for the stomach. Mwahaha. Chips more. Cookies and cream chocs. 3 sushi. Peach ice blend. And necessary bands.

Oh wells. Can't wait for my next allowance!!

In the meantime lemme add to my wishlist ;)

I'm kinda disappointed actually. I was expecting to learn more about Qur'an and hadith stuff y'know. Like Mustholah Hadith, Tafsir Al-Qur'an, Faraidh were fine. But asas kaunseling dan psikologi, sejarah tamadun Islam, sejarah perundangan Islam, sejarah pengajian Islam all just sounds interesting but bores me soooo much I become a very bad student... I think in these classes I look like a student that was forced by parents to attend madrasah classes, which is NOT the case. Each time my parents mention about quitting, I feel so tempted to. My mum's reason is that for what if I learn and I don't apply. To her my attitude masih cam setan. My dad's reason is that I always go to class late, might as well don't go at all. Haiz...

Dah lama gitu tak sigh. I don't like it.

I miss usrah (sharings)! I miss KPR! I miss tazkirahs (reminders)! I miss reflections! SIP is taking a lot of my time, leaving me little to indulge in food for the soul...

My plans after 23rd Jan and all those submissions and poster presentatios etc in early Feb... Take driving lessons (from Feb-Sep I have around 7 months before my FTT expires), attend Arab class, attend Mandarin class, attend workshops/camps/clases/gatherings/sessions about Islam... K yesh...