I didn't wanna say it out loud but it is a fact that keeps running through my mind. I could possibly fail that Organic Chem paper today and have to retake the module next year. :( That was how bad it was. Not really because the paper was hard, I didn't know, I can't tell, but it's because I didn't finish studying. The only marks that I am confident I'd get is 22/100, no kidding...

So, I'm feeling rather demoralised and down right now. Why must they put Organic Chem and Cell Structure & Function on the same day??? Everyone else felt relieved once the paper was over, because after today, there's only one more paper left for most of us. I on the other hand, feel such a big boulder in the middle of my chest that truly fears the outcome.

I finished the paper, with my own made-up reactions, reactants, reagents, conditions and products. The only thing that I can hope for is nothing less than a miracle.

I wouldn't feel so bad if Organic Chem isn't a subject that I'd taken before (and scored for) in poly, or if I had been struggling with it from the start, or it was a really really tough paper (since there'd be moderation)... The thing is, I know that deep down in my heart that I hadn't put in enough effort in this. So disappointed in myself...

Last paper on Wednesday. I don't know how it'll be like. It's another heavy module. So many topics to cover in whatever is left of the time from now to the start of exam. I'd had late-nights the past few days, not exactly feeling in the pink of health right now, and I still need to push on a bit more. No matter how demoralised I feel, let not that affect the last paper. I should end this semester on a high note...

I'm tired. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally.

I can't even seem to get tears, feeling too numb already...