My confidence has been crushed twice. TWO MCQ quizzes seh I didn't do well, when in fact I was confident I would be able to do well... I have another MCQ/short ans quiz tmr and I'm at the 2nd topic, and I have no motivation to continue. When I study, I keep reading and rereading to ensure I get all the facts right. And when anyone asks me anything, I don't have the confidence to give an answer and be sure that it is correct. So sad right...

It's not that I don't want to help my friends, but I'm afraid that I'm not even helping them in the first place, by giving them the wrong answer. I'm doubting myself! I used to be so sure of what I say, especially when it comes to Science. I'm the one who'd understand what is being taught in lectures and would help to explain to Ad when she doesn't understand. Now, I can't even be 100% sure that what I know/understand is right!

So sad...

Someone asked me, is uni easy?

My answer: definitely not. Anyone who says that it is easy must be a genius or must be crazy.

Uni is certainly NOT easy. It is a fact that I am struggling in NIE. I can't give up, and I never will...

I keep comparing poly and uni life, I feel so suffocated in uni. Eventhough my timetable (just lecture after lecture after lecture, except for lab once in awhile) now is less hectic than poly (lab every week, tutorial every week, projects in between, Fityan activities, Nur Ikhwan activities and whatnots), I feel so so tired. I sleep late almost every day. I seem to be running after time all the time. I am never ahead of it. I find it so hard to finish work on time. Or to produce quality work, because I'm just so so tired...

But I have to keep myself motivated. Just keep swimming. Just do and do and do. One at a time. It is very very tiring and draining. I can't seem to be doing anything else other than study, do assignment, study, do assignment...

I really miss poly life. Uni is crazy. It takes a lot to remind myself what am I doing here...

I'm glad I have helpful friends who'd motivate me, who'd help me out when I'm stuck etc. Harizah and Mahmudah may be struggling with their studies too, but they seem to be coping better than I am. They manage their time well. They seem to finish everything early. It is rather pressurizing, but I guess it's a good pressure...

Ya Allah, permudahkanlah aku memahami apa yang aku pelajari...

I guess, I need to put in more effort to berusaha and to berdoa... Perbanyakkan selawat and munajat. May Allah ease my tasks for me...